Cold Opening – Super Bowl LXVII
The problem with making fun of an announcing crew as bland as that of CBS’s NFL crew is that the parody is probably going to be somewhat bland itself. Which isn’t to say there were no good gags, it’s just that the whole affair was excessively dry. Is Shannon Sharpe really that thick-headed? J.B. admitting that he’s never seen 2 Broke Girls was clutch. B-
Justin Bieber’s Monologue
Who farts more: Whoopi Goldberg or Blake Shelton? Or Bieber? This was kind of funny. Short, though. B-
Original Version
1. P!nk – “Try”
2. Taylor Swift – “I Knew You Were Trouble”
3. Alicia Keys – “Girl on Fire”
4. Mumford & Sons – “I Will Wait”
5. Bruno Mars – “Locked Out of Heaven”
6. Kelly Clarkson – “Catch My Breath”
7. The Lumineers – “Ho Hey”
8. Hunter Hayes – “Wanted”
9. Imagine Dragons – “It’s Time”
10. Maroon 5 – “Daylight”
11. will.i.am ft. Britney Spears – “Scream & Shout”
12. Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch – “Sweet Nothing”
13. Pitbull ft. TJR – “Don’t Stop the Party”
14. fun. – “Carry On”
15. Lifehouse ft. Natasha Bedingfield – “Between the Raindrops”
16. Of Monsters and Men – “Little Talks”
17. Neon Trees ft. Kaskade – “Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)”
18. Emeli Sandé – “Next to Me”
19. Matchbox Twenty – “Overjoyed”
20. Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida – “Troublemaker”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Little Talks
2. Locked Out of Heaven
3. Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)
4. Girl on Fire
5. Try
6. It’s Time
7. Sweet Nothing
8. Carry On
9. Ho Hey
10. Troublemaker
11. I Knew You Were Trouble
12. Next to Me
13. I Will Wait
14. Wanted
15. Scream & Shout
16. Don’t Stop the Party
17. Catch My Breath
18. Daylight
19. Overjoyed
20. Between the Raindrops
Indeed, after nearly a year off the air, it is Community, so congratulations to us. But, while it is back, it is also unequivocally different – no surprise, considering it lost its creator, a handful of writers, and a few producers. The characters are still the same characters, and the plots are not too dissimilar from those of the previous seasons. It was the subtle things that really made a difference – shots are closer than before, the music cues aren’t quite what they were. It’s not necessarily worse – just, different. Honestly, though, Community had already become a different show than it originally was. Season 2 was different than Season 1, and Season 3 was different than Season 2. But it wasn’t like those changes had previously happened between season finales and the subsequent season premieres. So this change is much more sudden and jarring. Could this change ultimately work? “History 101” is more promising than not.
If there is anything significantly wrong with this episode, it’s that it’s overstuffed. There are four separate plots, plus Pierce just sitting around doing his own thing. The multi-cam version of the show within Abed’s head is an unqualified success. Fred Willard as Pierce in this version is an inspired choice, especially considering that he was one of the actors originally considered to play Pierce. The Greendale Babies within Abed’s head in the multi-cam show within his head is also a treat, with Britta making for a particularly cute baby. Abed constructing the Winger speech for the Jeff in his head felt appropriate. The Hunger Deans plot felt a little rushed, though I actually appreciated that it really had nothing to do with The Hunger Games. I think that was the joke. The Annie-Shirley senior prank plot was small-scale, but it did provide some nice character moments. The Troy-Britta fountain plot barely even qualified as a subplot. I’m basically neutral on Troy and Britta as a couple, but I will say it probably would have been nice to see some of the progression that apparently progressed offscreen. The Chang scene was … intriguing. The Dean moving in next to Jeff struck me as something the Dean would totally do, and it could work as a clever way to keep things moving along should Community get a fifth season and move beyond Greendale. Shirley’s “Oh, Lord, NOOOOOOO!” at the end provided the biggest laugh of the episode. B+
Speaking of Ke$ha, did y’all see Puppy Ke$ha on Conan Monday night?
Original Version
1. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz – “Thrift Shop”
2. Taylor Swift – “I Knew You Were Trouble”
3. will.i.am ft. Britney Spears – “Scream & Shout”
4. The Lumineers – “Ho Hey”
5. Bruno Mars – “Locked Out of Heaven”
6. Justin Timberlake ft. Jay-Z – “Suit & Tie”
7. Swedish House Mafia – “Don’t You Worry Child”
8. Maroon 5 – “Daylight”
9. Phillip Phillips – “Home”
10. A$AP Rocky ft. Drake, 2 Chainz, and Kendrick Lamar – “F**kin’ Problems”
11. Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch – “Sweet Nothing”
12. P!nk – “Try”
13. Justin Bieber ft. Nicki Minaj – “Beauty and a Beat”
14. Alicia Keys – “Girl on Fire”
15. Kelly Clarkson – “Catch My Breath”
16. Pitbull ft. TJR – “Don’t Stop the Party”
17. Imagine Dragons – “It’s Time”
18. The Script ft. will.i.am – “Hall of Fame”
19. Ke$ha – “C’Mon”
20. Of Monsters and Men – “Little Talks”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Little Talks
2. Locked Out of Heaven
3. Girl on Fire
4. C’Mon
5. Try
6. Thrift Shop
7. It’s Time
8. Home
9. Ho Hey
10. Sweet Nothing
11. I Knew You Were Trouble
12. Don’t You Worry Child
13. Suit & Tie
14. F**kin’ Problems
15. Scream & Shout
16. Catch My Breath
17. Don’t Stop the Party
18. Beauty and a Beat
19. Daylight
20. Hall of Fame
My initial feeling was that 2013 was the worst year for Super Bowl commercials I could remember. After reviewing the crop, I realized that there were several at-least-half-decent entrants. One big reason I thought it was a bad year at first was because I was at a loud party, and I could hardly hear any of the first half commercials. Interestingly enough, though, I was mostly able to enjoy my choices for the best over the din of the party without needing a re-watch to confirm their worthiness. While this year actually ultimately did have plenty of good ones, it may have had more bad ones than any other year. But I won’t go into detail on that, because I don’t like doing worst-of lists.
I was worried that this list was going to be made up of just some pretty good selections, but then came the last commercial of the game, which was something else…
1. Samsung – “The Next Big Thing”
With Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd, this just seemed like an Apatovian scene, which would have worked well enough for me, but I understand that bothers some people. But then Bob Odenkirk strolled in, and it’s like, “Oh, it’s something more.” Odenkirk always kills it as an executive, and he leavens the meta nature of the bit, which could be annoying, but managed to be dutifully satirical. Also, my brother has a friend from college named “Sam Song.”
2. Tide – “Miracle Stain”
What a triumph of minimalist, well-structured storytelling. What a terrible wife, and what a great punchline.
3. Best Buy – “Asking Amy”
“Are we in the cloud now?!”
Rather small-scale for a Super Bowl commercial, but when considered just as any commercial, Super Bowl or not, well, then, obviously, it’s great. Typically, commercials are seen many times over, so it’s ideal if it has maximum replay value. Amy Poehler asking wittily goofy questions to a sales rep? Most def maximum replay value.
4. Go Daddy – “Perfect Match”
It got people talking. That’s what an effective commercial does.
5. Kia – “Space Babies”
Above all else, worth it for the shot of the astronaut babies of various species walking out on the platform.
As I said, I don’t like worst-of lists, so instead of picking the worst commercial, I’ll pick the Most Eh? Commercial. And that would be the Coke chase. What was that? Come on.
Original Version
1. Taylor Swift – “I Knew You Were Trouble”
2. Bruno Mars – “Locked Out of Heaven”
3. The Lumineers – “Ho Hey”
4. P!nk – “Try”
5. Alicia Keys – “Girl on Fire”
6. Mumford & Sons – “I Will Wait”
7. Kelly Clarkson – “Catch My Breath”
8. Imagine Dragons – “It’s Time”
9. will.i.am ft. Britney Spears – “Scream & Shout”
10. Hunter Hayes – “Wanted”
11. Maroon 5 – “Daylight”
12. Pitbull ft. TJR – “Don’t Stop the Party”
13. Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch – “Sweet Nothing”
14. Neon Trees ft. Kaskade – “Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)”
15. Matchbox Twenty – “Overjoyed”
16. Grace Potter & the Nocturnals – “Stars”
17. Lifehouse ft. Natasha Bedingfield – “Between the Raindrops”
18. Jason Mraz – “93 Million Miles”
19. Phillip Phillips – “Home”
20. Gavin DeGraw – “Soldier”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Locked Out of Heaven
2. Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)
3. Girl on Fire
4. Try
5. It’s Time
6. Sweet Nothing
7. Home
8. Ho Hey
9. I Knew You Were Trouble
10. I Will Wait
11. Wanted
12. Scream & Shout
13. Stars
14. Don’t Stop the Party
15. Catch My Breath
16. Daylight
17. Soldier
18. 93 Million Miles
19. Overjoyed
20. Between the Raindrops
Original Version
1. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz – “Thrift Shop”
2. Taylor Swift – “I Knew You Were Trouble”
3. will.i.am ft. Britney Spears – “Scream & Shout”
4. The Lumineers – “Ho Hey”
5. Bruno Mars – “Locked Out of Heaven”
6. Swedish House Mafia – “Locked Out of Heaven”
7. Pitbull ft. TJR – “Don’t Stop the Party”
8. Phillip Phillips – “Home”
9. Nicki Minaj ft. Justin Bieber – “Beauty and a Beat”
10. Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch – “Sweet Nothing”
11. P!nk – “Try”
12. Imagine Dragons – “It’s Time”
13. The Script ft. will.i.am – “Hall of Fame”
14. Flo Rida – “I Cry”
15. Kelly Clarkson – “Catch My Breath”
16. Rihanna – “Diamonds”
17. Alicia Keys – “Girl on Fire”
18. fun. – “Some Nights”
19. Of Monsters and Men – “Little Talks”
20. Ed Sheeran – “The A Team”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Little Talks
2. Locked Out of Heaven
3. Diamonds
4. Girl on Fire
5. Try
6. It’s Time
7. Home
8. I Cry
9. Ho Hey
10. Thrift Shop
11. Sweet Nothing
12. Some Nights
13. I Knew You Were Trouble
14. Don’t You Worry Child
15. Scream & Shout
16. The A-Team
17. Catch My Breath
18. Don’t Stop the Party
19. Beauty and a Beat
20. Hall of Fame
Cold Opening – Obama and MLK
Why did the crowd applaud wildly for Kenan as MLK? This seemed like a wasted opportunity, but not completely, thanks to Kenan’s delivery of “another one of my famous DREAMS” and the unexpectedly pointed comment about the lack of black magicians. B-
Adam Levine’s Monologue
It was more fun than funny to see Andy Samberg, Cameron Diaz, and Jerry Seinfeld, though they did get in some good gags. “I could ask myself the same question” was quite the retort, and Jerry’s description of Adam and himself as less Jewish than their names was illuminating. The idea that Adam needed to be coached at comedy made sense. B
Rosetta Stone
I guess this was a funny premise, but, just, you know, nothing beyond the obvious happened. Kenan is really underrated as a straight man, though. B-
Original Version
1. Taylor Swift – “I Knew You Were Trouble”
2. The Lumineers – “Ho Hey”
3. P!nk – “Try”
4. Bruno Mars – “Locked Out of Heaven”
5. Mumford & Sons – “I Will Wait”
6. Kelly Clarkson – “Catch My Breath”
7. The Script ft. will.i.am – “Hall of Fame”
8. Alicia Keys – “Girl on Fire”
9. Imagine Dragons – “It’s Time”
10. Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch – “Sweet Nothing”
11. will.i.am ft. Britney Spears – “Scream & Shout”
12. Grace Potter & the Nocturnals – “Stars”
13. Hunter Hayes – “Wanted”
14. Matchbox Twenty – “Overjoyed”
15. Pitbull ft. TJR – “Don’t Stop the Party”
16. Maroon 5 – “Daylight”
17. Phillip Phillips – “Home”
18. Neon Trees ft. Kaskade – “Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)”
19. Lifehouse ft. Natasha Bedingfield – “Between the Raindrops”
20. Jason Mraz – “93 Million Miles”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Locked Out of Heaven
2. Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)
3. Girl on Fire
4. Try
5. It’s Time
6. Sweet Nothing
7. Home
8. Ho Hey
9. I Knew You Were Trouble
10. I Will Wait
11. Wanted
12. Scream & Shout
13. Stars
14. Don’t Stop the Party
15. Catch My Breath
16. Daylight
17. 93 Million Miles
18. Overjoyed
19. Between the Raindrops
20. Hall of Fame
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