This Is a Movie Review: Free Solo

December 7, 2018

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CREDIT: Jimmy Chin/National Geographic

I saw Free Solo on a December night, yet the sight of Alex Honnold scaling thousands of feet of bare rock without any supports was enough for my palms to leave a big wet spot on my shirt. Of course, I was inside and simmering in room temperature as opposed to the seasonal cool, but even so, I don’t usually get sweat saturation while merely sitting down this time of year. Anyway, if you haven’t heard about Free Solo, it’s about this guy who climbs massive rock formations without any protective equipment or partners, which has, according to him, low risk but high consequences. That is to say, the risk is low because he’s among the best in the world, but the consequences are high because one mistake means almost certain violent death. Watching this documentary is sure to make many wonder about the ethics of simply bearing witness to a fundamentally dangerous endeavor. But if there weren’t a film being made about him, Honnold would surely be scaling the highest heights anyway. Might as well record it to capture the triumph or to help pick up the pieces if something goes wrong.

I give Free Solo 3000 Feet out of 4000 Climbing Notes.

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Mary Queen of Scots’ Ponders So Many Questions About Who Belongs on the Throne

December 6, 2018

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CREDIT: CREDIT: Liam Daniel/Focus Features

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2018.

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Margot Robbie, Jack Lowden, Joe Alwyn, David Tennant, Guy Pearce

Director: Josie Rourke

Running Time: 125 Minutes

Rating: R for A Surprisingly Horny Approach to the Material and the Violent Retribution That Results

Release Date: December 7, 2018 (Limited)

If you’re an anglophile who loves tracking all historical matters of royal succession, then you ought to add Mary Queen of Scots to your to-watch list. But if you’re more ambivalent on the subject, this film is likely to instead get you frustrated and shout at the 16th century to move ahead hundreds of years when questions of leadership have less to do with the intricacies of bloodlines. Of course, 21st century politics has its own problems, but Mary Queen of Scots feels obsessed with the minutiae of what was specific to a bygone era. There is some intriguing conflict to be had, as Mary (Saoirse Ronan) and her cousin Elizabeth (Margot Robbie) both apparently have legitimate claims to the English throne. The internal psychological drama and external tension of impatient courts and citizenry are present, but the same points keep getting pounded over and over.

Part of the problem is the film’s lopsided structure. It makes sense that the title is what it is and not “Mary & Elizabeth,” as this is at least two-thirds Mary’s story, if not more. Perhaps there is an element of correcting the historical record, or the cinematic historical world, as Elizabeth’s story has hitherto been told more often than Mary’s. But if that’s the case, then you might as well go whole hog into Mary’s realm and render Elizabeth more or less heard but not seen. As it stands, though, it makes me wonder, “Why can’t they both be queen?” Alas, for the sake of the narrative (and historical accuracy), that’s probably too pat and conflict-free. But it’s almost all worth it for the scene when Mary and Elizabeth finally meet in person. Ridiculous measures are taken to keep this meeting “secret,” thus fulfilling a promise to really examine the nonsense inherent to this state of affairs. It’s all silly, and should be treated as such, instead of resorting to beheadings.

Mary Queen of Scots is Recommended If You Like: Any and all royal British period piece

Grade: 3 out of 5 Heirs

 

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Ben is Back’ Mixes Familial Addiction Crisis with Suburban Thriller

December 5, 2018

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CREDIT: Mark Schafer/LD Entertainment/Roadside Attractions

This review was originally posted on News Cult in December 2018.

Starring: Julia Roberts, Lucas Hedges, Courtney B. Vance, Kathryn Newton

Director: Peter Hedges

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for The Profanity of Familial Frustration and Some Drug Use

Release Date: December 7, 2018 (Limited)

Ben is Back reminds me quite a bit of Good Time, despite the two being wildly different in tone and purpose. But their narrative structures and momentum match up strikingly. Both are about all-night attempts to retrieve a beloved family member, with secrets, subterfuge, and drug use along the way. It just goes to show you that when it gets right down to it, outer borough dwellers who resort to crime aren’t all that different from upstate suburban families.

Where Good Time was about Robert Pattinson springing his brother out of jail after a botched robbery, Ben is Back follows Holly Burns (Julia Roberts) and her son Ben (Lucas Hedges) as they track down the beloved family dog in the wake of Ben’s history of bad decisions catching up with him. Ben has just unexpectedly showed up at home from rehab on Christmas Eve, and he promises that he is making an honest effort to stay clean. But then someone comes to collect a debt by kidnapping the dog, and the temptations to relapse shoot up exponentially.

Movies with premises like Ben is Back‘s tend to make a double-edged promise to their audience: they feature tremendous, heartfelt acting and have thoughtful and open-minded things to say about the opioid crisis, but they are also stressful and depressing viewing experiences. Beautiful Boy is a prime recent example that was overwhelming in its anxiety. But Ben is Back bypasses that disquiet, or at least sets it aside for the moment, with the urgency of its plotting. It makes for a cinematic experience that is not exactly fun, but certainly thrilling. And it’s not like it avoids the hard questions. Indeed, the matters of whether or not Holly can ever trust Ben, and how much his brain is even in control of how much he can be trustworthy, are brought into sharp relief by the occasion of finding the dog. This is what the opioid crisis looks like during the holidays for one family – there might be enough hope for them to make it through.

Ben is Back is Recommended If You Like: Good Time but if it were about the opioid crisis

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Relapses

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Vox Lux’ is a Traumatic and Entrancing Journey Through Pop Music Stardom

December 4, 2018

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CREDIT: NEON

This review was originally posted on News Cult in December 2018.

Starring: Natalie Portman, Raffey Cassidy, Jude Law, Stacy Martin, Jennifer Ehle, Willem Dafoe

Director: Brady Corbet

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for School Shooting Violence, Drug Use, and Staten Island Accented-Profanity

Release Date: December 7, 2018 (Limited)

There is a scene about midway through Vox Lux in which pop star Celeste Montgomery (Natalie Portman) is at a diner with her daughter Albertine (Raffey Cassidy, who also plays the teenage Celeste), expounding about how the press is always hounding her, and it turns into this incomprehensible rant about the misbegotten state of the world. She sounds like someone who watched Fight Club too many times as a teenager, specifically the scene in which Tyler Durden espouses his whole philosophy. But the causes of Celeste’s unique psychology can actually be traced to much more intense external forces. The armchair nihilist philosophizing is just gravy.

The adult Celeste is the product of two adolescent experiences that no teenager is naturally wired to perfectly handle. Both of these types of experiences on their own can, and have, resulted in long-term negative effects for many people. But together they produce … well, they produce Vox Lux. Celeste’s journey begins by surviving a shooting at her middle school, which is obviously traumatic enough to produce scars that last a lifetime. During her recovery, she writes a song to create some love out of the violence, and it ends up becoming a huge hit and leads into a full-on pop music career. But teenage stardom is not ideal for most people, and Celeste does not buck that trend. Fast-forward to the present day, in which at 31 years old she is emotionally still a child.

The culmination of Celeste’s story is hardly surprising, but director Brady Corbet makes it entrancing even at its most disturbing. This is a truly singular whirlwind of a person, and even knowing how messed up her personal life is, we can see how she remains compelling through and through to the public at large. The final 15 minutes or so take place at her new tour’s kickoff performance at her hometown of Staten Island. Considering the series of crises on the way to getting her to the stage in one piece, I thought that this moment was going to end with her collapsing or otherwise failing to finish the show. But instead, she is a wonder to behold, as bedazzling as any modern pop star at the top of her game. This triumph is even more stunning considering the struggle leading up to it. Celeste becomes more admirable while simultaneously remaining as much of a cautionary tale as ever. She remains a symbol by holding up the weight of circumstances that are so much heavier than any one person could possibly bear.

Vox Lux is Recommended If You Like: The Spectacle of Pop Music, Black Swan, Staten Island accents, Actors playing the same characters 20 years apart

Grade: 4 out of 5 Losses of Innocence

This Is a Movie Review: The Front Runner

December 4, 2018

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CREDIT: Frank Masi/Sony Pictures

The Front Runner raises a lot of valid points about the propriety, or lack thereof, of prying into politicians’ personal lives, but it is liable to leave you more confused than ever, even if you have strong opinions about all the issues it raises. As the narrative goes, the coverage of Gary Hart’s supposed indiscretions during the 1988 Democratic primary completely derailed his campaign and led to the overall coarsening of the political media landscape that we have today. That may be an accurate narrative, but is it a bad thing that we know more about the personal lives of those who govern us? The fact that it all remained secret for so long is one reason why powerful people have gotten away with terrible behavior.

But as for how it affected Gary Hart specifically, did he deserve what happened to him? The way the movie presents it, it seems like he had been unfaithful in his marriage, but not necessarily in this case. And the Miami Herald, which originally reported on the story, did not appear to do their duest diligence to verify their implications. At least I can unequivocally say it is a good thing that Donna Rice, Hart’s alleged mistress, gets to have her side of the story presented. But otherwise, The Front Runner is a bit of a mess. Although, it could be a portrait of a mess.

I give The Front Runner 2.5 (Million) Accusations out of 5 (Possible) Indiscretions.

This Is a Movie Review: Instant Family

December 2, 2018

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CREDIT Paramount Pictures

One of the great qualities of movies is their ability to open your eyes to possibilities in your own life that you had never considered or thought possible. I have always known that I want kids someday, and now that I am 30 years old, I am within my ideal age range for starting to raise a family, and I am often conscious of making sure I do not let that opportunity pass me by. Adoption and fostering potentially make that window open for longer than it would be otherwise. Those options have crossed my mind, but I’ve never really dug into them. But after watching Instant Family, I am now almost certain that I want to take that parenting avenue.

There is an early scene in which Rose Byrne and Mark Wahlberg browse the kids’ profiles on a fostering agency website, and they instantly fall in love with all of them, and I felt pretty much exactly the same. So much of this film is filled with moments like that. It has the look of a broad studio comedy that has loud, dangerous set pieces (director Sean Anders definitely has experience with that genre), but in moments when it could go over-the-top, it inevitably opts for the more grounded, and more rewarding, approach, dealing seriously with both the emotional and practical consequences of the situation. If you’re planning on becoming a foster parent, or think you might, or you just love supportive families, then you need to watch this movie.

I give Instant Family 4 Million Hugs out of 5 Million Heartaches.

SNL Review December 1, 2018: Claire Foy/Anderson .Paak

December 2, 2018

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CREDIT: Will Heath/NBC

This post was originally published on News Cult in December 2018.

Love It

The War in Words – Before Mikey Day joined the SNL cast, he was a part of the short-lived variety show Maya & Marty, and the best thing about that show was an earlier version of “The War in Words,” and it’s just as hilarious the second time around. The correspondence between Day’s World War I soldier and Claire Foy’s possibly unfaithful, definitely puzzling wife proves the viability of the letter-writing format in sketch comedy. Information is initially withheld, and then gloriously revealed, as the wacky world comes more and more into view with successive missive.

And in the sphere of Cut for Time sketches that I love, Beck and Kyle continue their satire of cheesy family sitcoms with “Cars.”

Keep It

Netflix – Jokes about Netflix having a bottomless amount of content and automatically throwing money at whatever is pitched to them are nothing new, but there is plenty of energy and unique style to this parody. Positioning “the Endless Scroll” as approaching the Singularity is certainly an apt way to put it. Plus, as “Officer Winslow” proves, it is always appreciated to see a dark take on Family Matters. While this doesn’t quite strike me as a classic immediately, it’s one of those bits that might gradually grow on me and reach that status eventually.

The Park Hyatt Argentina is certainly emblematic of the problems of Trump-era cold openings, but I do enjoy the silliness of the Giuliani and Putin impressions…Claire Foy’s Monologue is short and sweet enough to not make much on impact, positive or negative…Dad Christmas makes the scuzzy jokes you would expect about divorced kids getting shipped around for the holidays…Michael and Colin‘s highlights include the “very legal & very cool” Russian prostitutes Craigslist listing and the three cows in a trenchcoat (you can never go wrong with the “3 small things in a trenchcoat” joke)…Leslie Jones isn’t actually giving up sex, but she is making a joke about her chiropractor excusing her from twerking…As “economist” Jules, Beck Bennett might be the quote master of the season (“But if you have a roof over your heads, how are you going to see the stars?”)…The Holiday Message From the Women of SNL is most amusing when I mishear “Mueller” as “Mother” (and also, of course, when Leslie apparently mixes up Bigfoot and Santa Claus).

Leave It

Willy Wonka/Good Morning Goomah – Here are two sketches with promising germs of ideas, based on questions raised by classic movies, that are far from fully fleshed out. Specifically, those questions are: what’s the deal with all the grandparents in Willy Wonka sleeping in the same bed? And: what’s going on with the mistresses in Goodfellas and other gangster movies (and real-life mafioso society)? The answers we get are pretty much exactly what you would expect. The bed (and house) rocking in Willy Wonka is certainly explosive, but not particularly insightful. Meanwhile, Kate, Claire, and Aidy certainly sink their chops into ther goomah performances, but there are no surprises along the way.

Morning Joe is just a mess of an unfocused talk show sketch…HSN benefits from Cecily Strong’s committed breakdown, but ultimately it’s a whole bunch of shouting.

Claire Foy

On a scale of hosts that my mom is super excited about, I don’t think Claire Foy has convinced too many Crown obsessives to suddenly become SNL nerds. Although maybe she has enticed some SNL fans to check out The Crown, because if nothing else, this episode does show off her accent skills. Alas, it doesn’t show off much else of her talents.

Anderson .Paak

On a scale of artists I’ve heard plenty about but haven’t heard that much from, I think I’ve heard more of Anderson .Paak’s music than I’ve realized. I just don’t know what the names of those songs are! His two performances here are enjoyably energetic and righteously rhythmic, enough so to convince me to dive a little deeper into what I’ve been missing.

Letter Grades:

Park Hyatt Argentina – C+

Claire Foy’s Monologue – B-

Netflix – B

Morning Joe – C-

The War in Words (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – B+

Dad Christmas – B-

Anderson .Paak ft. Kendrick Lamar performs “Tints” – B+

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B
Leslie Jones – B-
Jules – B

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – C

HSN – C

Anderson .Paak performs “Who R U” – B

Good Morning Goomah – C

A Holiday Message From the Women of SNL – B-

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Anna and the Apocalypse’ Fulfills Our Society’s Need for a Decent Zombie Musical

November 29, 2018

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CREDIT: Gerardo Jaconelli/Orion Pictures

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2018.

Starring: Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming, Sarah Swire, Christopher Leveaux, Ben Wiggins, Marli Siu, Mark Benton, Paul Kaye

Director: John McPhail

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for Typical Zombie Gore and a Disturbingly Sniveling Principal

Release Date: November 30, 2018 (Limited)

How has it taken us this long to have a major zombie movie musical? Some quick research proves that there actually are previous examples of this genre mashup, as the Disney Channel Original Zombies debuted earlier this year, and Z: A Zombie Musical, about three nuns attacked by a zombie dog, apparently also exists. But as far as I can tell, Anna and the Apocalypse is the first major theatrical release in which fending off the undead is interspersed with characters belting out original tunes. And in light of the genre’s popularity and how it has already allowed comedy and romance to seep through in the likes of Shaun of the Dead and Warm Bodies, that just seems fundamentally incorrect. But luckily for Anna and the Apocalypse, zombie ubiquity means that setting the living dead loose on a sleepy little song-happy British town around Christmas makes more or less perfect sense.

What Anna and the Apocalypse has most in its favor is a winning lead performance from Ella Hunt as Anna, who is trying to survive the holidays as she deals with the craziness at her high school, some boy troubles, and a falling out with her dad. What it lacks is the thematic heft that has uplifted so many zombie films above their slash-and-splatter foundations. There might be an attempt at that sort of message, perhaps regarding how the pain of how friendships and familial relationships evolve as you become a young adult are akin to the visceral nature of chopping up zombie brains. But it comes across as a clash of two different stories bumping against each other. They work well enough on their own, but they don’t really deepen each other, although nor do they undercut each other.

At least the songs are satisfactorily rousing, though they somewhat surprisingly tend more towards the “life is changing so fast” variety rather than the “world is going to hell” style. This particular musical agnostic found them decently toe-tapping and not too overwhelming. The champ of the soundtrack, for my money, is the saucy “Santa Baby”-esque talent show number that includes lyrics like “My chimney needs a good unblocking.” If you’re okay with someone getting holiday-based innuendo in your zombie movie, you should be pleased.

Anna and the Apocalypse is Recommended If You Like: Warm Bodies, High school talent shows with actual talent, A cozy British sensibility

Grade: 3 out of 5 EvacSelfies

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse’ Weaves 50-Plus Years of Superhero History Into One Neat Little Package

November 28, 2018

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CREDIT: Sony Pictures Entertainment

This review was originally published on News Cult in November 2018.

Starring: Shameik Moore, Jake Johnson, Hailee Steinfeld, Mahershala Ali, Liev Schreiber, Bryan Tyree Henry, Luna Lauren Velez, Lily Tomlin, Nicolas Cage, Kimiko Glenn, John Mulaney, Kathryn Hahn, Chris Pine, Zoë Kravitz

Directors: Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman

Running Time: 117 Minutes

Rating: PG for Superhero Bumps and Bruises and Dimension-Altering Explosions

Release Date: December 14, 2018

Even if you prefer Tom Holland or Andrew Garfield’s versions of Peter Parker, it is fundamentally outrageous that the cinematic Spider-Man has been rebooted multiple times so soon after the massively successful Tobey Maguire chapters. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse avoids this pitfall by forgoing the same old Peter Parker origin story, or even the same old Peter Parker himself. Instead, the focus this time is on Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), a Puerto Rican and African-American teenager who inherits the Spider-Man mantle after he too is bitten by a radioactive arachnid. Additionally, while Miles is the primary protagonist, room is also made for just about every parallel universe version of Spider-Man that has ever existed in the comics (including noir, manga, and porcine iterations). I would love it if the live-action Marvel action movies were similarly diverse, but there is more space to be bold within animation (at least according to how the blockbuster industry currently operates).

A running gag throughout Spider-Verse is each version of Spider-Man giving us the rundown on his (or her) origin story. The film assumes that the audience is significantly familiar with the web-crawler’s mythos, and thus we get shout-outs to iconic moments from both the panel and the screen, like the murdered uncle and the upside-down kiss in the rain. These moments could play as cheap nostalgia, but instead they are far from it because there is so much visual information to digest. The effect is more one of self-awareness and reinterpretation.

Spider-Verse follows in a line of recent animated franchise films like The Lego Movie and Teen Titans Go! To the Movies that benefit from their deep wealth of knowledge about their own histories. They all comment on their own pasts, avoiding snark in the name of favoring celebration while also managing to craft new adventures that stand on their own. Spider-Verse takes its unique place as one of the most visually vibrant entries in the history of CG-animated cinema, with a cornucopia of expressive and energetic styles. Add to that a sterling voice cast, and this is one of the witties (vocally and visually), and just plain most satisfying, experiences you’ll have in all of 2018.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is Recommended If You Like: Every Spider-Man Comic Ever, Teen Titans Go! To the Movies, The Lego Movie

Grade: 4 out of 5 Alternate Dimensions

 

SNL Thanksgiving Special, We Need to Talk

November 25, 2018

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CREDIT: NBC

Around every Thanksgiving and Christmas (and sometimes Halloween), NBC airs SNL compilation specials consisting of some of the most memorable holiday-themed sketches in the show’s history. With the Christmas editions, there is an overabundance of sketches to choose from. But the Thanksgiving specials usually contain a few “family meal” sketches that don’t actually take place on Turkey Day. That’s fine, though, as there aren’t as many Thanksgiving as there are Christmas bits. But it’s not entirely okay, because there are some actual Thanksgiving bits that don’t make the cut but that deserve to be revisited, like the Thanksgiving Song Auditions with Phil Hartman. Let’s take a deep dive into where rectification needs to be made.
The two main problems with the SNL Thanksgiving Special are recency bias and inexplicable sketch selection. The first is understandable, as the special gets refreshed every three years or so and thus tends to get reloaded with sketches that weren’t around to make the cut the last time. But at least room is still made for some sketches from previous decades, like Paul Simon dressed as a turkey; Tonto, Tarzan, and Frankenstein singing; and the Nikey Turkey.
Let’s run through some quick points that SNL‘s compilation packagers simply must hear:
-The Bird Family is an acceptable inclusion, because when else are we going to see that classic?
-The Yelling Family Dinner is also acceptable, but please use the one with Sarah Michelle Gellar instead of Gwyneth Paltrow.
-The Loud Family, on the other hand, while funny, should not be included, as it is not sufficiently about food.
–Right Side of the Bed is certainly about Thanksgiving, but it is not very good.
–The one sketch where Vanessa Bayer plays a turkey dating Josh Hutcherson is one of the most bizarre sketches ever. I guess it’s an acceptable inclusion, but what is up with the animation at the end?
-Bring back Thanksgiving Song Auditions!

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