Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of April 15, 2017

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Gorillaz ft. Popcaan – “Saturnz Barz”
6. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
8. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
9. Gorillaz ft. D.R.A.M. – “Andromeda”
10. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
11. Gorillaz ft. Vince Staples – “Ascension”
12. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
13. Gorillaz ft. Jehnny Beth – “We Got the Power”
14. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
15. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
16. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
17. Papa Roach – “Help”
18. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
19. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
20. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
21. The Lumineers – “Angela”
22. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”
23. Chuck Berry – “Johnny B. Goode”
24. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
25. Kaleo – “All the Pretty Girls”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Johnny B. Goode
2. Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Heavydirtysoul
5. Feel It Still
6. Andromeda
7. Love is Mystical
8. Love
9. Saturnz Barz

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of April 15, 2017

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
3. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
4. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
5. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
6. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
7. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
8. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
9. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
10. Drake – “Passionfruit”
11. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
12. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
13. Katy Perry – “Chained to the Rhythm”
14. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
15. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”
16. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
17. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”
18. Future – “Mask Off”
19. James Arthur – “Say You Won’t Let Go”
20. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Love on the Brain
5. Stay
6. Rockabye
7. Closer
8. Bad and Boujee

The Simpsons 28.19 Review: “The Caper Chase”

Leave a comment

I had a bit of a computer mishap this Sunday, so there was a fill-in reviewer on Bubbleblabber: http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-the-caper-chase/

So now here are my thoughts:
I’ve commented multiple times this season how modern Simpsons has an annoying knack for stuffing into a single episode multiple plots that could easily stand on their own. “The Caper Chase” seemingly had a formula to avoid that problem, as it remained focused on Burns’ for-profit college – and college in general – throughout. But alas, it stuffed too many threads (liberal campus excesses, inspirational teacher homage, Ex Machina parody) within that main idea.
And now for some memorable quotes and other observations:
-Jason Alexander has a knack for playing paragons of pomposity like Bourbon Verlander, despite being miles away from George Costanza.
-I loved the one New Yorker randomly yelling “Verrazano Bridge!”
-“I’ll buy you a new library if you have them killed.”
-“Former Bonesman.” “Living or dead?”
-“University of Phoenix, Oklahoma, in Washington State”
-Somehow I was more charmed than offended by the TV recapper dig. Maybe it had something to do with not having to fully review this ep.
-“Well I, you know, the button stuff.”
-“Hey, you’re not the cop around here! I am!”
-Yale is not a Division III school.

What Won TV? – March 26-April 1, 2017

Leave a comment

In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – A Bob’s Burgers twofer – the debate on top
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – New Girl floored me: (SPOILER) Schmidt?! (SPOILER) still loves (SPOILER)?!
Wednesday – Full Frontal reveals that Government Works!
Thursday – Review stopped, but Forrest MacNeil didn’t.
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – Rick and Morty delivered a delightful April Fools surprise, but the Final Four showcased offensive rebounding like all get out.

This Is a Movie Review: Raw

3 Comments

Raw is ostensibly about the horrors of discovering that you’re a cannibal … and LOVING it. But for me, the bigger scares come from the endless hazing. “Initiation rites” and their ilk are one of the most disturbing aspects of insular groups, and Raw makes it only more so by setting itself in a veterinary school. Shouldn’t folks training to care for animals have more empathy than most? If this is based on a real institution, then you gotta be freaking kidding me. So, yeah, Raw is effectively horrifying, and not because it is as vomit-inducing as its reputation would suggest. It has multiple gross and gory moments, but you’re liable to lose your lunch only if you haven’t seen many fright flicks.

I give Raw 17 Hairs out of 20 Severed Limbs.

This Is a Movie Review: Cézanne et moi

Leave a comment

This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Guillaume Canet, Guillaume Gallienne, Alice Pol, Déborah Farnçois, Sabine Azéma

Director: Danièle Thompson

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: R for Artistic Nudity and Best Friends Yelling at Each Other

Release Date: March 31, 2017 (Limited)

Paul Cézanne caresses his wife/model Hortense’s naked chest to more thoroughly know his subject. This could be played as intense intimacy, or it could be discomforting invasiveness. Instead it is an illustration of how the Post-Impressionist painter is dead inside, lost to his art at the expense of his family. That is not to say he lacks passion. Oh no, he has passion to spare for a million still lives and portraits. It is just too untamed to be anything other than destructive.

Cézanne et moi dramatizes the friendship between Cézanne (Guillaume Gallienne) and novelist Émile Zola (Guillaume Canet), but friendship in this context feels like a bit of a misnomer, considering the amount of screen time they spend verbally tearing into each other. It is de rigueur, in life but especially in cinema, that artists’ lives must be tortured. That can be fascinating, but this is just unpleasant. That is a shame, because Gallienne and Canet are both laser-focused in their performances. The shouting matches themselves are not the problem so much as their endlessness. It is essentially the same fight over and over. It is not emotionally draining, just tiresome.

At least the cinematography is splendid. As befitting a film about an artist, the landscapes are beautiful. The French countryside is lush and inviting, but alas, it does not really illuminate anything about Cézanne or Zola’s psyches. The decoration is there to be admired, while the story trudges on. I root for these friends to work through their issues, but I also wish it would all just happen off screen.

Cézanne et moi is Recommended If You Like: Colorful Landscapes

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Picnics

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of April 8, 2017

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
6. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
8. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
9. Chuck Berry – “Johnny B. Goode”
10. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
11. Linkin Park – “Battle Symphony”
12. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
13. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
14. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
15. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
16. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
17. Weezer – “Feels Like Summer”
18. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
19. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
20. Papa Roach – “Help”
21. Spoon – “Hot Thoughts”
22. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
23. Chuck Berry – “You Never Can Tell”
24. Chuck Berry – “Maybellene”
25. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Johnny B. Goode
2. Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. You Never Can Tell
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Feel It Still
7. Maybellene
8. Love is Mystical
9. Love
10. Hot Thoughts

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of April 8, 2017

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
3. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
4. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
5. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
6. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
7. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
8. Drake – “Passionfruit”
9. Drake ft. Quavo and Travis Scott – “Portland”
10. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
11. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
12. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
13. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
14. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
15. Drake – “Fake Love”
16. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
17. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
18. Drake – “Free Smoke”
19. Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
20. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Love on the Brain
5. Rockabye
6. Closer
7. Bad and Boujee

What Won TV? – March 19-March 25, 2017

Leave a comment

In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – The Mick
Wednesday – Legion is figuring it out.
Thursday – TIE: Baskets is in the family business; Review throws it all out there.
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – The Elite Eight hasn’t been close, but it is March Madness.

This Is a Movie Review: Prevenge

Leave a comment

This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2017.

Starring: Alice Lowe, Gemma Whelan, Kate Dickie, Jo Hartley

Director: Alice Lowe

Running Time: 88 Minutes

Rating: Not Rated, But Note That It Has Plentiful Gleeful Stabbings

Release Date: March 24, 2017 (Limited)/Also Streaming on Shudder

From writer-director-star Alice Lowe, Prevenge follows Ruth (Lowe), a pregnant woman hunting down one-by-one those who have done her wrong. If you are into seeking out uncompromising horror films off the beaten path, then you know what you are in store for. Prevenge is all about forcefully setting the world aright with a feminist edge, in the vein of Teeth’s dark coming-of-age or The Loved Ones’ prom-gone-very-wrong. Lowe’s entry is an especially principled addition to the genre. There are so many ways that pregnancy can drain away independence, and Ruth’s experience very much leans into all of them. Sometimes supposedly following the kill commands of your unborn child is the only thing to hold on to when seeking anything resembling sense.

The other major piece of catnip for horror hounds here is the synth-heavy score, placing Prevenge in the long line of John Carpenter’s descendants. It is not so much the sounds themselves that stand out, but the way they are played: a particular phrase comes on multiple times and stops without warning. It lends a sense of the same terror being repeated over and over in a sort of Möbius strip. Ruth’s whole world is on edge, and there is no indication that will change after she accomplishes her goal or reaches her due date.

Prevenge is Recommended If You LikeThe Loved OnesTeeth, John Carpenter’s Scores

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Unwelcome Drunken Kisses

Older Entries Newer Entries