“It’s as if Macy’s didn’t sell mace!” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-fatzcarraldo/
The Simpsons 28.14 Review: “Fatzcarraldo”
February 13, 2017
Television, The Simpsons, The Simpsons Episode Reviews Fatzcarraldo, The Simpsons, The Simpsons 2814, The Simpsons Season 28 Leave a comment
SNL Review February 11, 2017: Alec Baldwin/Ed Sheeran
February 12, 2017
Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television Alec Baldwin, Ed Sheeran, Russell Stover Black History Month Heart Shaped Box, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live 4214, Saturday Night Live Season 42, SNL, SNL Season 42 Leave a comment
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “Alec Baldwin” Episode 1718 — Pictured: (l-r) Sasheer Zamata and Alex Moffat during the “Russell Stover” sketch on February 10, 2017 — (Photo by: Caroline De Quesada/NBC)
This review was originally posted on News Cult in February 2017.
Love It
Russell Stover Black History Month Heart Shaped Box – Great comedy often arises from the plans of the well-meaning going awry. Offering their black girlfriends a peanut butter-filled George Washington Carver or a Malcolm X fiery with cayenne, the white boyfriends look so eager to please, so intent on getting it right. But it is plain to see that they fail on two levels: romantically and racially. But as insensitive as this particular candy box is, wouldn’t we all want to live in a utopia in which the chocolate version of any historical figure has no unsavory implications?
The pitch meeting for a Cheeto’s ad stretches the social activism of commercials as far as it can go…Jake and Kellyanne are locked in a Fatal Attraction-style tête–à–tête, and may I say, with just a stern look, Beck Bennett is killing his impression of the CNN anchor…Trump takes his case to The People’s Court, which makes me go: hey, remember when Jon Lovitz played the Devil on a People’s Court sketch back in the day? That’s somehow both more and less believable than this…Leslie Wants to Play Trump, and I want to see as many of these dreamy, personal, behind-the-scenes short films as possible.
What Won TV? – February 5-February 11, 2017
February 12, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Bai, Baskets, Christopher Walken, Jane the Virgin, Jeopardy!, Legion, New Girl, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Super Bowl Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – There was a football game, and the best part was Christopher Walken singing “Bai, Bai, Bai.”
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – New Girl
Wednesday – Legion makes my head go boom.
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – Jeopardy!
Saturday – SNL, especially its celebration of Black History Month
My Favorite Movie Couples of All Time
February 11, 2017
Cinema David x Elise, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Han x Leia, Hot Rod, Jacob x Queenie, Jakweenie, Pat x Tiffany, Peter x Mary Jane, Rod x Denise, Silver Linings Playbook, Spider-Man, Star Wars, The Adjustment Bureau, The Princess Bride, Valentine's Day, Westley x Buttercup Leave a comment
Right around last year’s Valentine’s Day, I declared to the world my favorite TV couples of all time. So this year, how’s about I do the same thing for movies?!
This list appears to be a little more exclusive than my TV one, perhaps because TV tends to be more intimate.
Anyway, here’s the cream of the crop:
Westley and Buttercup (The Princess Bride)
“AS…
YOU…
WISH!”
This Is a Movie Review: John Wick: Chapter 2
February 8, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Chad Stahelski, Common, Ian McShane, John Wick, John Wick: Chapter 2, Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ruby Rose 4 Comments
This review was originally published on News Cult in February 2017.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Riccardo Scamarcio, Common, Ruby Rose, Ian McShane, Laurence Fishburne
Director: Chad Stahelski
Running Time: 122 Minutes
Rating: R for BANG! BANG! BANG!
Release Date: February 10, 2017
The first John Wick was one of the loudest theatrical experiences I have ever endured. I did not encounter this complaint from anyone else, but I’m fairly certain I was not going insane. It’s possible that this particular auditorium’s sound mix was way out of proportion, but I am intimately familiar with that theater, so that explanation is unlikely. With Chapter 2 now on the way, I can safely say I feel vindicated about calling this franchise the most aurally assaulting around.
This hitman free-for-all kicks off with engines revving and metal crashing in an opening car chase that leaves you no opportunity to get your bearings. You might have enough time to put your hands over your ears, but barely. At least there appears to be a rhythm to the volume – a physical one, that is. In conclusion, I have spent two paragraphs explaining that my favorite part of John Wick: Chapter 2 is how great a massage it gave me, via the vibrations caused by the cacophony. I may have some moral qualms about deriving relaxation from such wanton violence, but this is a patently fantastical universe (despite its lived-in New York trappings), so we can skate around that a bit.
The concepts that the first John Wick introduced to the action genre are ones for the ages. The global hitman battle royale is like a magical underworld that exists within the shadows. Plus, the hotel serving these assassins, in which all killing is forbidden, with Concierge Lance Reddick whisking us in, is a rich setup for comic relief. But it was all undone by sloppy editing that I could not believe an otherwise sophisticated flick thought it could get away with. Maybe a new hand on the controls is just what was needed, as Evan Schiff takes over for Elísabet Ronalds, and there is a whole lot more patience in the cuts. If Keanu Reeves is going to shove a pencil in one guy’s ear and another guy’s neck, we want to be able to see it. And in Chapter 2, we see EVERYTHING.
John Wick films are less about plot and more about setup. In this edition, Wick is forced to repay his debt, but it proves to be a trick to make him vulnerable. This is all just an excuse to get to the action, and it is effective. Wick’s reputation is an almost supernaturally skilled killer, often discussed in hushed tones and referred to as “The Boogeyman.” Yet his actual name is also repeated ad infinitum. The highest compliment I can pay this movie is that the action is so relentlessly intense that that lapse in logic does not matter.
John Wick: Chapter 2 is Recommended If You Like: The first John Wick But Wish It Had Been Edited Better, Laurence Fishburne Shouting to the Heavens
Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Million Dollar Bounties
Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of February 18, 2017
February 7, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Human, Rag'n'Bone Man Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
5. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
6. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
9. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
10. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
11. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
12. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
13. twentyonepilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
14. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
15. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
16. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
17. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
18. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
19. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
20. The xx – “On Hold”
21. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
22. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
23. John Mayer – “Moving On and Getting Over”
24. Skillet – “Stars”
25. Bishop Briggs – “Wild Horses”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Wild Horses
7. Somebody Else
8. On Hold
9. Ride
10. Ophelia
11. Heathens
12. Wish I Knew You
13. Waste a Moment
14. Cleopatra
15. Believer
16. Take It All Back
17. Still Breathing
18. Moving On and Getting Over
19. HandClap
20. Stars
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Testify
25. Chain Breaker
Billboard Hot 20 – Week of February 18, 2017
February 7, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Alessia Cara, Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Scars to Your Beautiful Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
3. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
4. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
5. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
6. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
7. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
8. Drake – “Fake Love”
9. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
10. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
11. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
12. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
13. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
14. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
15. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”
16. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
17. Aminé – “Caroline”
18. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
19. Migos – “T-Shirt”
20. Jon Bellion – “All Time Low”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. Black Beatles
3. Starboy
4. Side by Side
5. I Feel It Coming
6. Love on the Brain
7. T-Shirt
8. Closer
9. Shape of You
10. 24K Magic
11. Paris
12. Bad and Boujee
13. Bounce Back
14. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
15. All Time Low
16. Bad Things
17. Let Me Love You
18. Caroline
19. Fake Love
20. Don’t Wanna Know
Best Super Bowl 51 Commercials
February 6, 2017
Commercials, Sports, Super Bowl Commercials, Television A Cure for Wellness, Bai, Bud Light, Christopher Walken, Honda, Skittles, Spuds MacKenzie, Super Bowl 51, Super Bowl Commercials, Super Bowl LI Leave a comment
I’m still ranking the best Super Bowl commercials. Click on the link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://newscult.com/the-five-best-super-bowl-li-commercials/
SNL Review February 4, 2017: Kristen Stewart/Alessia Cara
February 5, 2017
Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television Alessia Cara, Kristen Stewart, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live 4213, Saturday Night Live Season 42, SNL, SNL Season 42, Totino's Leave a comment
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “Kristen Stewart” Episode 1717 — Pictured: (l-r) Host Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Bayer during the “Totinos” sketch on January 31, 2017 — (Photo by: Rosalind O’Connor/NBC)
This review was originally posted on News Cult in February 2017.
Love It
Meet Cute – In this filmed piece, Kristen Stewart and Pete Davidson have the titular encounter at a coffee shop, and the unlikelihood of an immediate development into a relationship is examined, poked, and prodded. It is not really the case that in most cinematic meet-cutes someone fails to give out enough relevant information, but it is true that they are just too fast to truly be meaningful. So we should all relate to Pete’s struggle on a spiritual (not literal) level. Oh, and his confusion over how to spell Manhattan (it’s 2 T’s, not 2 D’s) is a marvelous detail.
When Robert Mugabe earns the big applause, as in the Oval Office Phone Calls cold open, you know you’ve got something … let’s call it “special.”
What Won TV? – January 29-February 4, 2017
February 5, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Australian Open, Baskets, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Jane the Virgin, Man Seeking Woman, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Saturday Night Live, SNL Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – How did we get an Australian Open ending like this in 2017?
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – Marvel’s Patton Oswalt’s of S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Wednesday – Woof Woof Cowabunga thanks for the great episode, Man Seeking Woman!
Thursday – Baskets
Friday – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Saturday – Saturday Night Live
