What Won TV? – September 18-September 24, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

rami-malek-emmy-win

Sunday – Please tell me you saw The Emmys, too.
Monday – We all deserve to be in  The Good Place.Tuesday – New Girl, New Season, New Joys
Wednesday – Documentary Now!
Thursday – RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
Friday – The Eric Andre Show
Saturday – There were a few cool college football plays.

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of October 1, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange that top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
3. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
4. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
5. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
6. Disturbed – “The Sound of Silence”
7. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
8. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
9. Fitz and The Tantrums – “HandClap”
10. twenty one pilots – “Cancer”
11. Bastille – “Good Grief”
12. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
13. Bishop Briggs – “River”
14. blink-182 – “Bored to Death”
15. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Dark Necessities”
16. Green Day – “Bang Bang”
17. The Head and the Heart – “All We Ever Knew”
18. Cage the Elephant – “Trouble”
19. Panic! at the Disco – “Bohemian Rhapsody”
20. Metallica – “Hardwired”
21. Beck – “Wow”
22. Green Day – “Revolution Radio”
23. Skillet – “Feel Invincible”
24. The Fray – “Singing Low”
25. Phantogram – “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. You Don’t Get Me High Anymore
2. River
3. Wow
4. Way Down We Go
5. Unsteady
6. Dark Necessities
7. Ride
8. Trouble
9. Good Grief
10. Ophelia
11. Waste a Moment
12. Revolution Radio
13. Hymn for the Weekend
14. All We Ever Knew
15. Bang Bang
16. Cancer
17. The Sound of Silence
18. Singing Low
19. Hardwired
20. Heathens
21. Feel Invincible
22. Sucker for Pain
23. Bohemian Rhapsody
24. HandClap
25. Bored to Death

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of October 1, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber and MØ – “Cold Water”
4. Sia ft. Sean Paul – “Cheap Thrills”
5. The Chainsmokers ft. Daya – “Don’t Let Me Down”
6. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
7. Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna – “This Is What You Came For”
8. Shawn Mendes – “Treat You Better”
9. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
10. Adele – “Send My Love (to Your New Lover)”
11. Rihanna – “Needed Me”
12. D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – “Broccoli”
13. Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez – “We Don’t Talk Anymore”
14. Drake ft. WizKid and Kyla – “One Dance”
15. Lady GaGa – “Perfect Illusion”
16. Drake ft. Rihanna – “Too Good”
17. Ariana Grande – “Into You”
18. Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”
19. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
20. Kiiara – “Gold”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Gold
2. Perfect Illusion
3. Cheap Thrills
4. Into You
5. Side to Side
6. Needed Me
7. Cold Water
8. Ride
9. Broccoli
10. Closer
11. Let Me Love You
12. Don’t Let Me Down
13. Send My Love (to Your New Lover)
14. Too Good
15. One Dance
16. Can’t Stop the Feeling!
17. This Is What You Came For
18. We Don’t Talk Anymore
19. Heathens
20. Treat You Better

What Won TV? – September 11-September 17, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

documentary-now-the-bunker

Sunday – Vice Principals
Monday – Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Tuesday – Atlanta
Wednesday – What time is it? Documentary Now!
Thursday – Better Things. Period.
Friday – The Eric Andre Show
Saturday – Creative Arts Emmys (particularly this acceptance speech)

This Is a Movie Review: Sully

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sully-tom-hanks-2016

The main conflict driving Sully is the National Transportation Safety Board’s investigation into US Airways Flight 1549. The implicit question seems to be: Was Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger really a hero? To which presumably every viewer would respond, “Of course!” I suppose the NTSB must do their due diligence to determine if an emergency runway landing was possible, but at a certain point (i.e., right away), you can’t help but ask, “These people do realize that both engines failed and yet everyone survived, don’t they?”

The easy criticism would be to say that Sully should have just focused on the actual Hudson River landing (by far its strongest feature in both technical and dramatic heft). The trouble, though, is that wouldn’t make for a very long movie. The birds fly into the engines almost immediately, there are then only a few minutes to decide what to do, and rescue crews are right on the scene. If this were all shown in real time, it would last about 30 minutes. The entire flight is basically presented twice over, and that is mostly a good decision.

Eventually, everyone decides that indeed this was heroism of the highest order (and not just from Sully, but from everybody involved), and somehow, instead of saying, “Took you long enough,” I instead was roused (and relieved by a zinger of a final line). That is due mostly to high-class acting – of course Tom Hanks as Sully, with Aaron Eckhart right by his side, and also Mike O’Malley, Anna Gunn, and Jamey Sheridan too awesome to hate as the NTSB crew. (Laura Linney does what she can with the cliché role of “hero’s wife on phone,” which is to say: she’s Laura Linney.) The ultimate results of the investigation declare: this rescue was even more amazing than we could have ever imagined. We were already pretty sure about that, but now we’re sure enough to last two lifetimes.

I give Sully 8 Happy Endings out of 10 Frantic Phone Calls, but I must take away 2 Canadian Geese for the Probably Unfair Treatment of the NTSB.

This Is a Movie Review: Blair Witch

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blair-witch

Alas, Blair Witch does not reinvent the found-footage wheel. But perhaps it was unfair for me to ever expect it to. Director Adam Wingard and writer Simon Barrett’s previous genre-bending work on You’re Next and The Guest primed me to think it would, as did the hot buzz from early screenings. But nothing about the film itself ever made such a promise. The lack of that particular ambition may hold it back from being a masterpiece, but I cannot fairly call it a failing. What Blair Witch actually cares to do, it mostly does well. It has a fine grip on temporal and spatial disorientation, plus a killer sequence involving claustrophobia. But ultimately, the arrangement of scares is too haphazard for a film that really could have benefited from an overarching through line. It flirts with a summary thesis on terror, but it does not quite get there.

I give Blair Witch 3 Witchy Pranks out of 5 Circular Walks.

This Is a Movie Review: Morgan

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morgan-2016

I missed the first 10 minutes of Morgan (train traffic), but I think I got the gist: the titular artificial human being randomly attacks one of the scientists who created her, and now it must be decided what to do. This is not groundbreaking as far as sci-fi premises go, but it offers a sizable sandbox to play around with fruitful ideas. Unfortunately, much of the movie is spent on characters discussing vague relationship drama instead of exploring this speculative field of study. Eventually, it does get going, evolving into a fairly involving tête-à-tête between Anya Taylor-Joy (Morgan) and Kate Mara (the risk assessor).

It all culminates in a twist ending that some people may see coming from a mile away. I didn’t figure it out until about five minutes before it was revealed, mostly because I wasn’t trying to figure it out. When I assess the quality of twist endings, I ask: does keeping this information hidden from the audience add, or meaningfully alter, anything? In this case, it feels adequately appropriate, as it makes the audience and the characters equally in the dark. But that is pretty much the bare minimum, and Morgan in general only accomplishes the bare minimum of what it seems primed to do.

I give Morgan an “It could have used a lot more Paul Giamatti, but also in a way that made sense.”

This Is a Movie Review: Don’t Think Twice

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dont-think-twice

As someone adjacent to the entertainment industry, a film like Don’t Think Twice feels oddly intimate, and I think that is just the way it likes it. Several of the actors are acquaintances or friends of friends of mine, and the improv-devoted characters they play are close enough to the real thing, such that I feel confident saying, “It all works out in the end.” Thankfully, Mike Birbiglia and his film believe that as well.

I give Don’t Think Twice 3 Healthy Perspectives on an SNL Stand-In out of 4 Bouts of Darkness.

Watch And/Or Listen to This: Donald Glover & Reggie Watts Make Music

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The boys are at it again!

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of September 24, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange that top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
3. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
4. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
5. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
6. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
7. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
8. Disturbed – “The Sound of Silence”
9. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
10. Bishop Briggs – “River”
11. blink-182 – “Bored to Death”
12. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Dark Necessities”
13. Bastille – “Good Grief”
14. Green Day – “Bang Bang”
15. Panic! at the Disco – “Bohemian Rhapsody”
16. Cage the Elephant – “Trouble”
17. Metallica – “Hardwired”
18. The Head and the Heart – “All We Ever Knew”
19. Skillet – “Feel Invincible”
20. Bastille – “Send Them Off!”
21. Beck – “Wow”
22. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
23. Phantogram – “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore”
24. Glass Animals – “Life Itself”
25. Young the Giant – “Something to Believe In”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. You Don’t Get Me High Anymore
2. River
3. Wow
4. Life Itself
5. Way Down We Go
6. Unsteady
7. Dark Necessities
8. Somebody Else
9. Something to Believe In
10. Ride
11. Send Them Off!
12. Trouble
13. Good Grief
14. Ophelia
15. Hymn for the Weekend
16. All We Ever Knew
17. Bang Bang
18. The Sound of Silence
19. Hardwired
20. Heathens
21. Feel Invincible
22. Sucker for Pain
23. Bohemian Rhapsody
24. HandClap
25. Bored to Death

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