This Is A Movie Review: 300: Rise of an Empire

Leave a comment

300_RoaE_Eva-Green
The first 300 was undoubtedly accomplished in its kinetic, comic book-style visuals.  Whether you found those visuals to be the coolest thing ever or migraine-inducing, they presented a fully realized, singular vision of what an action movie could be.  It was one of those cinematic innovations that demanded you have a reaction to it one way or the other.  The sequel keeps the same style more or less out of sense of obligation.  It’s not that director Noam Murro (taking over for Zack Snyder, who remained on as a producer) isn’t happy to play around in this sandbox, it’s that he doesn’t offer any new twists on the whole shebang.  A parade of limbs are hacked off with ease, and it is all too boring to even be disturbing.

One bright spot is the unbelievably smoldering Eva Green as Queen Artemisia, basically the only interesting character, or at least the only character I remember anything about (though I suppose Sullivan Stapleton did make a modicum of an impression as Athenian general Themistocles).  In a world dominated by unbridled masculinity, she wields her femininity in a way that beats the men at their own game.  She is a warrior-seductress, sublimely aroused by an existence that is constantly at battle.  Accordingly, the only time the movie sparks to life is her negotiation-sex-fight with Themistocles, raucously bringing to the level of text the subtext of all warrior negotiations. C-

VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 4/5/14

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out VH1′s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Pharrell – “Happy”
2. Bastille – “Pompeii”
3. John Legend – “All of Me”
4. Lorde – “Team”
5. Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz – “Talk Dirty”
6. Demi Lovato – “Neon Lights”
7. Aloe Blacc – “The Man”
8. American Authors – “Best Day of My Life”
9. One Direction – “Story of My Life”
10. Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z – “Drunk in Love”
11. Katy Perry ft. Juicy J – “Drunk in Love”
12. Fitz and the Tantrums – “The Walker”
13. Paramore – “Ain’t It Fun”
14. Avicii ft. Dan Tyminski – “Hey Brother”
15. A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera – “Say Something”
16. Ingrid Michaelson – “Girls Chase Boys”
17. Neon Trees – “Sleeping with a Friend”
18. Christina Perri – “Human”
19. Ellie Goulding – “Burn”
20. Zedd ft. Matthew Koma and Miriam Bryant – “Find You”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Dark Horse
2. Happy
3. Team
4. The Man
5. Pompeii
6. Hey Brother
7. Drunk in Love
8. Sleeping with a Friend
9. Find You
10. Ain’t It Fun
11. Burn
12. The Walker
13. Talk Dirty
14. Girls Chase Boys
15. Best Day of My Life
16. Say Something
17. Neon Lights
18. All of Me
19. Human
20. Story of My Life

Community Episode Review: 5.11 “G.I. Jeff”

Leave a comment

??????????????????????????????
I would not call Season 5 Community‘s best, but I would call it its most consistent.  Seasons 1-3 didn’t really have any duds, but they did have a few instances of treading water or going a little too insane.  Season 5 has basically avoided those missteps, but I think this year could have benefited from at least a few more episodes.  This is all a prelude to saying all the elements of “G.I. Jeff” were very good to excellent, but because there wasn’t room to set those elements up earlier in the season, the episode itself may have been no more than merely good.

The earlier Community episode that “G.I. Jeff” calls to mind – and specifically invokes – is “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas.”  Jeff’s shock at seeing himself stuck as a community college professor as he turns 40 apparently provokes a psychotic break in the style of Abed discovering that his mother won’t be a part of future Christmas celebrations.  While the crises are similar, the fantasies manifest in significantly different ways.  Abed actually saw the world as stop-motion animation.  In “Geothermal Escapism,” the floor actually was lava for him.  We have seen inside Jeff’s head before, and this time is consistent with those past occasions.  While his friends are present in his imagination, he does not project those visions out upon the world.  In the season 3 opening song and dance number of “Biology 101,” he created a (too-)perfect (Pierce-less) future.  In “Advanced Introduction to Finality,” he considered the crossroads of graduation as a fight between his good and evil selves.

The key difference between Jeff and Abed is that, even though Jeff’s interior life is quite strong, the separation between that interior and his exterior remains clear.  Jeff may not have wanted to face where his life was at, but it required mind-altering substances and a break from a fully conscious state for him to get stuck in a part of his head where he isn’t facing reality at all.  Like Abed, Jeff’s psychotic break takes the form of a cherished piece of entertainment from his childhood.  (Jeff and Abed are a lot alike, don’t you know.  They were both raised by television, weren’t they.)

I have never watched the G.I. Joe cartoon, but I have watched plenty of cartoons from the 90’s, which is close enough to the 80’s, which is when Joe is from, so I think I know something close enough to the style that this episode was going for.  The attention to detail was typical of Community, which is to say, AS EXACTING AS POSSIBLE.  I especially appreciated the tiny film strip scratches constantly popping up throughout the frame.  There were a few gags at the expense of G.I. Joe that were a little on the nose (the lip sync mistake comes to mind), but most of the takedowns were astute and even the cheap jokes were funny.  The Joe’s and Cobra totally having their mind blown by the instance of someone actually being killed was particularly cutting.

While I have never seen G.I. Joe, the commercials for the toys lasted into the 90’s, so I can say that the ad breaks that were part of Jeff’s fantasy were completely accurate.  I never realized until now just how strange it was to have this group of boys narrating their toy playing in the backyard while interacting with the commands of the narrator.  Weaving Jeff’s storyline into the commercials made them even more surreal.

The one episode of television that “G.I. Jeff” most reminded me of was actually “The Sting,” my favorite half hour ever of Futurama.  Annie’s plea of “Jeff, please, I don’t want you to die. Can you hear me?” in the former sounded a lot like Fry imploring Leela that she needs to wake up in the latter.  The predicaments that Jeff Winger and Turanga Leela faced were both prompted by life-threatening circumstances.  While Leela’s journey was a real mind-bender in which she couldn’t figure out what realm of reality she was in, Jeff – or “Wingman” – understood rather quickly what was going on.  And thanks to Abed as “Fourth Wall,” a clear route of escape back to reality (the animated realm up to the live action commercial interstitial realm and then up to the live action real world) was presented to him.  But Jeff took some convincing that it was worth it to wake up.  He was scared that because his life is still stuck at Greendale, he won’t ever be where he really wants to be, so he would rather retreat into the pleasures of his boyhood.  Tellingly, and appropriately, he changed his mind when he was reminded of the pleasures that are a part of adulthood, like boobs and Scotch.  In his heart-to-heart with Duke and Cobra Commander, I think he began to realize that he needs to enjoy those pleasures with as much enthusiasm as he enjoyed G.I. Joe.

One last note about the portrayal of Greendale in the G.I. Joe world: Jeff cast the Dean, Chang, Duncan, and Hickey as members of Cobra and noted that “it’s as if there’s something about [Greendale] that feeds on ambition.”  While he is friendly with all four of these guys to various degrees, it is clear that he does not want to remain at this place for as long as any of them have been there.

I want to fully embrace “G.I. Jeff,” because it does have that patented Community blend of biting humor and heartrending pathos, but Jeff’s troubles seem to have come out of nowhere, and this is why I began this review by contending that this season could have benefited from the breathing room of a few more episodes.  I suppose the crisis of this episode is the sort that strikes with little or no warning, but it would have made sense if Jeff’s inner demons had been seen more earlier in the season.  Also, the ending of the episode felt a little rushed.  Nobody looked all that visibly distraught once Jeff woke up.  This may have been meant to capture the spirit of hugs and lessons learned at the end of an 80’s cartoon, but I think that still could have been pulled off with everyone looking more worried.  There was a chance he could have died!  Or, at least, that was what was implied while he was still in G.I. Joe world.  It feels so harsh to criticize these details, but they were important.  With a little tightening up, this could have been a damn near perfect episode.

And now, the bullet-point portion of the review:
-“Your idea was doing the exact same thing we did to those other guards back at headquarters?”
-“We’ve been shooting at each other and missing for 20 years.”
-I loved Britta imitating a whirring saw.
-“I swear to God, I feel Korean.”  You see, it’s funny, because Ken Jeong actually is Korean.  On the subject of Chang, the moment when he, as Overkill, split up into multiple copies and asked, “Which me is the real me?” sounded like a subtle reference to the various personae that Chang has taken on throughout the years.
-“You’re still 18-49 for almost a decade.”
-“Milk sold separately.”
-“Innocence not included. Comes with reversible ethics.”

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 4/1/14

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out FUSE’s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Pharrell – “Happy”
2. John Legend – “All of Me”
3. Katy Perry ft. Juicy J – “Dark Horse”
4. Bastille – “Pompeii”
5. Aloe Blacc – “The Man”
6. Avicii – “Hey Brother”
7. DJ Snake and Lil’ Jon – “Turn Down for What”
8. Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz – “Talk Dirty”
9. Lorde – “Team”
10. American Authors – “Best Day of My Life”
11. Pitbull ft. Ke$ha – “Timber”
12. Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z – “Drunk in Love”
13. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
14. A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera – “Say Something”
15. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
16. One Direction – “Story of My Life”
17. Kid Ink ft. Chris Brown – “Show Me”
18. Paramore – “Ain’t It Fun”
19. Austin Mahone ft. Pitbull – “Mmm Yeah”
20. Shakira ft. Rihanna – “Can’t Remember to Forget You”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Dark Horse
2. Happy
3. Team
4. The Man
5. Pompeii
6. Hey Brother
7. Drunk in Love
8. Turn Down for What
9. Mmm Yeah
10. Can’t Remember to Forget You
11. Ain’t It Fun
12. Timber
13. Counting Stars
14. Let Her Go
15. Talk Dirty
16. Best Day of My Life
17. Say Something
18. All of Me
19. Show Me
20. Story of My Life

What Won TV? – March 24-March 30, 2014

Leave a comment

In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – RuPaul’s Drag Race managed to snatch the Monday title away from Rick and Morty.
Tuesday – Brooklyn Nine-Nine wrapping up a solid first season
Wednesday – Everything I watched was solid, so I’ll spotlight Modern Family, which had its best episode in at least two years.
Thursday – Review
Friday – Hannibal (But The Neighbors was also good!)
Saturday – Louis C.K. was reliably great on SNL.

SNL Recap March 29, 2014: Louis C.K./Sam Smith

Leave a comment

snl-louis-ck-sam-smith
HealthCare.Gov Meeting
The joke here seemed to be that the president was reluctant to participate in social media campaigns, which is a huge misread on reality, because Obama obviously loved doing Between Two Ferns and revealing his March Madness bracket.  Kyle as the Pope was interesting, though, despite sounding more Italian than Argentinian. C+

Louis C.K.’s Monologue
This is one of the best monologues of the season basically by virtue of being the only stand-up comedy monologue thus far.  Now, Louie is obviously a living legend, but if there is going to be a stand-up monologue, I would prefer if it had a sort of event feel to it, as in Zach Galifianakis’ appearances.  But that’s enough complaining, because this was great material that was tightly put together.  “I don’t know when God started” and “Maybe your life is your weekend with Dad” were the top lines, and how have I not heard words of wisdom like this on the wifebeater until now? A-

More

VH1 Top 20 Countdown – 3/29/14

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out VH1′s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Lorde – “Team”
2. Pharrell – “Happy”
3. Bastille – “Pompeii”
4. One Direction – “Story of My Life”
5. American Authors – “Best Day of My Life”
6. John Legend – “All of Me”
7. Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz – “Talk Dirty”
8. Katy Perry ft. Juicy J – “Dark Horse”
9. Demi Lovato – “Neon Lights”
10. Aloe Blacc – “The Man”
11. Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z – “Drunk in Love”
12. A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera – “Say Something”
13. Fitz and the Tantrums – “The Walker”
14. Paramore – “Ain’t It Fun”
15. “Ellie Goulding” – “Burn”
16. Shakira ft. Rihanna – “Can’t Remember to Forget You”
17. Christina Perri – “Human”
18. Avicii ft. Dan Tyminski – “Hey Brother”
19. Ingrid Michaelson – “Girls Chase Boys”
20. Imagine Dragons – “On Top of the World”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Dark Horse
2. Happy
3. Team
4. The Man
5. Pompeii
6. Hey Brother
7. Drunk in Love
8. Can’t Remember to Forget You
9. Ain’t It Fun
10. Burn
11. The Walker
12. On Top of the World
13. Talk Dirty
14. Girls Chase Boys
15. Best Day of My Life
16. Say Something
17. Neon Lights
18. All of Me
19. Human
20. Story of My Life

Fuse Top 20 Countdown – 3/25/14

Leave a comment

Each week, I check out FUSE’s Top 20 countdown, and then I rearrange the songs based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Pharrell – “Happy”
2. John Legend – “All of Me”
3. Katy Perry ft. Juicy J – “Dark Horse”
4. Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz – “Talk Dirty”
5. Aloe Blacc – “The Man”
6. Bastille – “Pompeii”
7. Lorde – “Team”
8. American Authors – “Best Day of My Life”
9. Avicii – “Hey Brother”
10. Pitbull ft. Ke$ha – “Timber”
11. Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z – “Drunk in Love”
12. A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera – “Say Something”
13. OneRepublic – “Counting Stars”
14. Passenger – “Let Her Go”
15. Kid Ink ft. Chris Brown – “Show Me”
16. One Direction – “Story of My Life”
17. Shakira ft. Rihanna – “Can’t Remember to Forget You”
18. Imagine Dragons – “Demons”
19. MKTO – “Classic”
20. Demi Lovato – “Neon Lights”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Dark Horse
2. Happy
3. Team
4. The Man
5. Demons
6. Pompeii
7. Hey Brother
8. Drunk in Love
9. Can’t Remember to Forget You
10. Timber
11. Counting Stars
12. Let Her Go
13. Talk Dirty
14. Best Day of My Life
15. Say Something
16. All of Me
17. Show Me
18. Neon Lights
19. Classic
20. Story of My Life

This Is A Movie Review: Non-Stop

Leave a comment

Non-Stop-Liam-Neeson
When Liam Neeson entered the action star portion of his acting career, my reaction was, “Yes, of course.”  Actually, I may not really have had any reaction at all because the one-man army role suited him so well that I hardly noticed any difference.  This is partly a way of getting at the fact that Neeson’s action stardom has been more successful than the actual movies have been.  He made Taken work as well as it did by sheer force of will, but I found that movie to be too distressing and overly tidy to be able to embrace it completely.  His subsequent lone hero actioners have for the most part been variations on Taken.  No doubt about it, Non-Stop is Taken on a Plane, but I preferred it to the kidnapping thriller because it was just so insane that I might have had to lose my mind, and I was happy to.

(GENERALLY SPOILER-ISH INFORMATION FROM HERE ON OUT, BECAUSE I FEEL THE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE IN SPECIFIC TERMS.)  Non-Stop is filled with improbabilities right from the get-go.  Neeson plays Bill Marks, a federal air marshal who has turned to the bottle to deal with his daughter’s death.  The fact that Marks still gets assigned jobs despite obviously being affected by his drinking and the cause of his alcoholism being overly pat strain credulity, but it is actually purposeful to the narrative that his competence is suspect and that information about his troubles could be public knowledge.  Anyway, though, Non-Stop gets away with most or all its implausibility by being upfront about it.  A movie that crosses a classic mad-villain extortion scheme with a cat-and-mouse game at 30,000 feet is not aiming for everyday verisimilitude.

In addition to reveling in its absurdity, Non-Stop excels in its suspense by establishing just about every character as a legitimate suspect.  Julianne Moore, as Marks’ seat neighbor, is overly talkative.  Scoot McNairy, who excels at playing slimy (check him out getting into deep shit in Killing Them Softly) plays a punk who is rather inquisitive about what plane Marks will be getting on.  Certain traps and killing maneuvers suggest action in areas of the plane that only the pilots and flight attendants would have access to.  A second marshal is the only other one who should be on the cellular network that Marks is receiving the threatening texts from.  Corey Stoll is an overly aggressive New York City cop who questions why Marks doesn’t give the Muslim passenger as thorough a shakedown as he gives everyone else.  This seems like a typical moment playing on post-9/11 paranoia, but it may actually be a matter of class or profession bias, as Marks may have overlooked him because he is a doctor.

(THINGS GET EVEN MORE SPOILERY IN THIS PARAGRAPH.)  The nature of the manhunt suddenly changes in the final act when it is revealed that the killings are not just going to be those happening one by one every 20 minutes due to the revelation of a bomb, which had earlier been disguised by cocaine.  This new crisis prompts Marks, who has been backed into a corner by passengers suspicious of him, to reveal everything about his previously secretive investigation.  This sequence sets quite a benchmark for excitement that the rest of the 2014 film slate will have a tough time matching.

If you are worried that too many twists and turns have been spoiled by the promotion of this movie, don’t be.  While the trailer does include a fair amount of footage from the final act – and, admittedly, does feature as its centerpiece the most memorable shot of a pivotal struggle – there is actually a fair amount of misdirection.  The first death in particular does not go down exactly as the previews would lead you to believe.

Non-Stop falters a little bit with its ending, as the motivation for the extortion is revealed – it tries to be straightforward, which is difficult amidst all the insanity.  I did not have a problem with the spirit of the motivation itself, or how it went about being explained, so much as the fact that it was a bit too simplistic.  Still, that does not take away from all the highly pressurized excitement that precedes it. A-

What Won TV? – March 16-March 23, 2014

Leave a comment

In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Bob’s Burgers
Monday – Rick and Morty, with the best episode of television of 2014 so far
Tuesday – Justified
Wednesday – Billy on the Street, featuring the incredible return of Elena
Thursday – Review, with the 2nd best episode (or THE best?) of television of 2014 so far
Friday – Hannibal, of course, but I’d like to point out that Whose Line is it Anyway? is back and its CW version is really coming into its own.
Saturday – I was busy, so I didn’t have that much time to watch March Madness.

Older Entries Newer Entries