‘The Wild Robot’ Asks if a Machine Can Access Its Parental Instinct for a Goose

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Does she have the programming to be a mother? Let’s find out! (CREDIT: DreamWorks)

Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Pedro Pascal, Kit Connor, Catherine O’Hara, Bill Nighy, Stephanie Hsu, Mark Hamill, Matt Berry, Ving Rhames

Director: Chris Sanders

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: PG for Fiery Action and Mild Animal Mortality

Release Date: September 27, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A service robot washes ashore on an island dense with all sorts of animal residents. But this metal creature is supposed to serve humans! But not to worry, as ROZZUM Unit 7134, aka Roz (Lupita Nyong’o) can learn new languages with no trouble at all, so soon enough she’s able to communicate with all the local wildlife in their native tongues. That certainly comes in handy, because in her tireless efforts to offer assistance, she accidentally destroys a goose nest, save for one egg. And when it hatches, the little gosling (voiced by Boone Storme as a baby and Kit Connor when he grows up) imprints on Roz as if she’s his mother. She calls him Brightbill, and she must then prepare him for the upcoming winter migration, which may just require some emotional bonding that isn’t exactly in her programming, though a sojourn in the wilderness might just change that.

What Made an Impression?: What is Love?: Early in The Wild Robot, Roz matter-of-factly admits, “I do not have the programming to be a mother.” Plenty of human mothers have said some variation on this statement, but their kids turned out okay. And maybe non-human animal mothers have also said this in their own animal languages. An opossum voiced by Catherine O’Hara with a bunch of babies hanging onto her fur certainly admits as much to Roz. But are emotions and genuine affection only the domain of the living? Certainly not on the big screen, as Roz is just the latest in a long line of fictional synthetic creatures to transcend their programming in the name of love. But really, she is just following her prime directive of dedicated service to its most logical and satisfying conclusion.
Keeping It Foxy: I kind of want to leave this review rather succinct and just end on that note of love. But I also feel compelled to at least mention the #2 critter on the call sheet, as Roz strikes up an unlikely friendship with an otherwise defiantly independent fox named Fink. His mischievous vibe is similar to that of a certain blue hedgehog, which is why I spent the whole movie thinking that he was voiced by Ben Schwartz, when in actuality he was voiced by Mr. Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal. So good job embodying the impish spirit of Mr. Schwartz, Pedro! Whether on purpose or by total coincidence, it was absolutely the right choice.

The Wild Robot is Recommended If You Like: A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Babe, Homeward Bound

Grade: 4 out of 5 Universal Dynamics

It Used to Be That I’d Never Seen ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’ Before in My Life. Or Afterlife. But Now That’s Changed!

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Beetlejuice being Beetlejuicy (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jenna Ortega, Justin Theroux, Monica Bellucci, Willem Dafoe, Arthur Conti, Burn Gorman

Director: Tim Burton

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: September 6, 2024 (Theaters)

After seeing Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, it made me want to:

  1. Figure out who Tess Parks is.
  2. Go Full Falsetto and perform “Tragedy” at karaoke.
  3. Wonder anew how and why so much of a song can be focused on a soggy cake.

Now, just because you’ve got an inspiring soundtrack, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got a satisfyingly well-rounded movie. But I enjoyed most of the non-musical elements of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice as well! Thank you, 2024.

Grade: I Like-a the ‘juice

‘Argylle’ is Total Nonsense, But Is It Also a Good Time?

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Wait a minute — the cat! (CREDIT: Universal Pictures/Apple Original Films/Marv)

Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Sofia Boutella, Rob Delaney, Richard E. Grant, Chip the Cat

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Running Time: 139 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Violence That Makes the Main Character Constantly Wince

Release Date: February 2, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a super-duper successful espionage novelist, so much so that some actual spies have started to take notice of her. It turns out that the plot of her books have somehow mirrored the actual activities of an underground spy ring known as The Division. At least that’s the story that a bearded man named Aidan (Sam Rockwell) tells her when he randomly pops up like he’s in a Terminator movie to say that she better come with him if she wants to live. And well, he might be onto something, as there do seem to suddenly be a lot of people with guns and knives in Elly’s vicinity. Meanwhile, she keeps having visions of Argylle (Henry Cavill), the titular hero of her novels who seems to know her better than she knows herself.

What Made an Impression?: We’re in a Spy Movie!: I found it difficult to embrace Argylle, because it just never felt like any of these characters were particularly spy-like. Instead, they felt more like people who were excited to be in a spy movie. Now look, I’ve never met a secret agent (that I know of!), so I can’t say with authority what genuine espionage dialogue truly is. But I’m still a little skeptical that the cloak and dagger set would refer to their adversaries as generically as “the bad guys.” And that seeming lack of authenticity is doubly felt by how antithetical it is to Argylle‘s premise.
Dance For Your Life: In general, I’ve found Matthew Vaughn’s films to be at best only fitfully compelling. But I can’t deny that he knows how to choreograph some marvelously kinetic action sequences, particularly when they marry combat with dance. In 2015’s Kingsman, the standout set piece was a massacre in a church set to “Free Bird,” while Argylle ups the ante with a battle royale on a train soundtracked by Sylvester and Patrick Cowley’s disco hit “Do You Wanna Funk.” Vaughn’s characters might be fighting over nonsense, but these melees are something special.
Stupid Fun or Just Stupid?: In the interest of avoiding spoilers, I won’t reveal why Elly’s novels are so prescient, but I will say that once we do get an explanation, Argylle really kicks into a higher gear. Suffice it to say, the explanation is a classic trope based on presumably bogus science. But as far as hokum goes, it’s enjoyable-enough hokum that can push the plot along in zippy directions. It justifies at least a little of all this silly business.

Argylle is Recommended If You Like: The Kingsman series, Unknown, Hypnotic

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Gray Cats

I’m Feeling ‘Elemental’

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Like Water for Fire (CREDIT: Pixar/Screenshot)

Starring: Leah Lewis, Mamoudou Athie, Ronnie del Carmen, Shila Ommi, Wendi McClendon-Covey, Catherine O’Hara

Director: Peter Sohn

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: June 16, 2023 (Theaters)

For someone who often reviews movies by asking, “Do I want to be/do what’s in the movie?,” Elemental is a dream come true! A love story between a Fire Person and a Water Creature? Yes, please! Personally, I always feel like I’ve got flames and waterfalls swirling around inside myself. So maybe what I really want is a love story between two fire-water hybrids? In the meantime, though, this works perfectly well enough.

P.S.: Fern Joe Pera talks with us about bureaucracy.

Grade: 4 Conflagrations out of 5 Cascades/4 Monsoons out of 5 Blazes