‘Bones and All’ is the Cannibal Love Story We Could Never Have Prepared For

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“Send us your bones!” (CREDIT: Yannis Drakoulidis/Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures
© 2022 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Taylor Russell, Timothée Chalamet, Mark Rylance, André Holland, Michael Stuhlbarg, Chloë Sevigny, David Gordon Green

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Running Time: 130 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Chomping and Some Horny Cannibals

Release Date: November 18, 2022 (Limited)/November 23, 2022 (Expands Nationwide)

What’s It About?: If you only knew the poster and the title of Bones and All, you’d probably think it’s some overflowingly passionate romance. You know, the sort of thing where the main characters scream, “I love you! With every fiber of my being! BONES AND ALL!” Director Luca Guadagnino and one of his stars, Timothée Chalamet, certainly have memorable experience in the genre, what with 2017’s Call Me by Your Name. And in fact, it basically is that movie, except that the main characters have an unquenchable hunger to literally consume their fellow human beings.

What Made an Impression?: When Mark Rylance shows up, hoo boy, there’s no turning back. He’s a veteran “Eater” who arrives to provide some guidance to Maren (Taylor Russell), who upon turning 18 has been abandoned by her father (André Holland), who has decided that everyone will be safer if she’s on her own. With an inscrutable accent and an outfit that screams “arts and crafts cannibal hobbyist,” Rylance’s Sully is an unforgettable presence who is sure to make you confused about what type of movie you’re watching. Is it campy comedy, quirky indie whatchamacallit, or disturbing-to-the-nth-degree psychological horror? At first, Sully seems kind of charming, but then he’s totally a villain. This is the kind of movie that you have to sit with for a while to fully digest it, as it’s kind of inventing its whole deal as it goes along.

Now, you may be wondering: will I, or should I, root for the central love story? Maren and Lee (Chalamet) both seem like decent people, who just have the rare (mis)fortune of being bound by an unusually violent biological impulse. They do their best to not be too destructive about it and to live as normally human as possible when they can. But it’s more or less impossible to be 100% perfect in their efforts. I found myself on their sides, as much as I could be. A big reason for that was because I just wanted to see where this was going. Bones and All has a similar vibe of social alienation as most vampire tales, but with a taste that I’ve never quite experienced before. Simply put, I’ve never before gone bones and all the way myself, and now that I have, I’m not sure how much I enjoyed it, but I do kind of want to try it again.

Bones and All is Recommended If You Like: The Vampire Diaries, Road Trips, Allowing yourself to be disarmed

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Bites

‘Halloween Ends’ After Taking a Detour Through a Cracked Mirror

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Impressive Halloween Costumes (CREDIT: Ryan Green/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, Rohan Campbell, James Jude Courtney, Will Patton, Kyle Richards

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Brutal Stabbings, Punctures, and Dismemberments

Release Date: October 14, 2022 (Theaters and Peacock)

What’s It About?: It’s been four years since the bloodiest Halloween of all time in Haddonfield, Illinois! So what’s Michael Myers up to now? Well, he’s somehow survived strikes at point blank range with every conceivable weapon, but he hasn’t been taking advantage of his seeming invincibility to go on a non-stop killing spree. Instead, he’s basically disappeared. But Haddonfield’s not doing so good in his absence, as the town is understandably reeling from a hangover of trauma and paranoia. However, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) are doing their best to actually move on from those nightmares. Alas, there might be a new monster in the making in the form of troubled young man Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell). He and Allyson are sweet on each other, but an inescapable evil threatens to consume him.

What Made an Impression?: Every time we’ve seen Curtis return as Laurie since the first Halloween, she’s been too traumatized to register as a full person. But that’s no longer the case at the beginning of Halloween Ends. She’s writing a memoir about her encounters with a killer, and it genuinely appears that she’s fully processed the worst of it all. She’s even allowing herself to flirt with Deputy Frank (Will Patton)! Allyson is going about her days in much the same way, getting along as a nurse at Haddonfield Hospital and instantly recognizing a kindred spirit when she meets Corey, despite a recent incident of manslaughter (the unforgettable opening sequence explains it all).

These early scenes feel like a metaphor for our scary present, with the looming unkillable threat of Michael serving as a stand-in for a status quo of violent political unrest, constant climate disasters, and a renewed threat of nuclear annihilation. The fact that anybody could find joy in this context is basically a miracle, so it’s a wonder to behold it here. Of course it can’t last forever, as this is a Halloween movie, after all. But it’s nevertheless a treat while it lasts before the carnage arrives.

And things get pretty inexplicable once that carnage does arrive. Michael Myers has never needed an accomplice, but somehow that’s what he ends up with when he crosses paths with Corey. It’s a stunning turn, and one that never struck me as justifying itself as something adequately interesting. But I have to at least respect it when a long-running series tries something so wildly unpredictable, especially in an entry that’s supposed to be the ultimate conclusion (at least for now, anyway). So, yeah, what stood out the most about Halloween Ends was how it made me constantly wonder, “Why did they ever decide to do it that way?”

Halloween Ends is Recommended If You Like: Deceptively happy beginnings, Weird middles, Cathartic endings

Grade: 3 out of 5 Blades

‘Halloween Kills,’ and That Makes for a Bloody Mess

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Halloween Kills (CREDIT: Ryan Green/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Anthony Michael Hall, James Jude Courtney, Nick Castle, Will Patton, Thomas Mann, Kyle Richards, Nancy Stephens, Robert Longstreet, Charles Cyphers, Dylan Arnold, Scott MacArthur, Michael McDonald

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Blood, Guts, Viscera, Screaming

Release Date: October 15, 2021 (Theaters and Streaming on Peacock)

According to Halloween Kills, there are two main reasons why you should avoid mob justice:

1. You might go after the wrong person and end up killing an innocent man.
2. The guy you’re targeting seemingly can’t be killed.

That second lesson applies specifically to the Halloween film franchise (although it can certainly be extended to other horror classics). These seem like pretty obvious lessons, but I guess I should cut the characters in this film some slack, considering that they don’t have the same context that we viewers do. In case you need a refresher: the David Gordon Green-directed Halloween Kills is a direct sequel to the 2018 Halloween (also directed by Green), which was itself a direct sequel to the original 1978 Halloween that ignored all the other sequels. So while in the current continuity it might be a slight surprise to the residents of Haddonfield that Michael Myers is indestructible, it’s not at all surprising to the audience.

As the Halloween franchise is 43 years old and a dozen films deep, it’s forgivable if it doesn’t pull off too many genuine shocks anymore, so long as it has something to say. And Halloween Kills certainly wants to have something to say vis-a-vis that mob justice angle. But it seems to me like the townspeople seeking justice are actually fairly effective. Sure, the misidentification is pretty bad, but they eventually do manage to corner Michael. Their plan would have worked against someone a little more mortal!

But of course, the dictates of pre-planned sequel-dom make it clear that an ultimate victory is fully out of reach. A third entry directed by Green, entitled Halloween Ends, is already on the schedule for next October. So right now, we can feel pretty confident that Michael will return and that Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode will as well. Everyone else, even some returning favorites (including child star-turned-Beverly Hills housewife Kyle Richards herself), are a little more vulnerable.

So then, we’re left to hope that the set pieces are at least effective. Pretty much all of them are throwbacks to the style of the original. Some are pretty funny, others are melodramatic, all of them end in relentless violence. Probably the most amusing is the series of scenes with Michael McDonald (the steamroller-crushed security guard from Austin Powers) and Scott MacArthur (best-known for the short-lived Fox sitcom gem The Mick) as a couple just trying to have a relaxing Halloween night in. Unfortunately, they decided to live in Michael Myers’ former home, and that just doesn’t bode well for their future together. If Halloween decides to go in a sillier and campier direction, they’ve got the blueprint right here.

Halloween Kills is Recommended If You Like: Saw-style gore, Inevitable death, Anthony Michael Hall springing into action

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Masks

This Is a Movie Review: The Latest ‘Halloween’ Examines the Brutal Roles of Killer and Survivor

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CREDIT: Ryan Green/Universal Studios

This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Nick Castle, Toby Huss

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Relentless Knife Piercings All Over the Body

Release Date: October 19, 2018

What if your purpose in life is to kill people? What if your purpose in life is to be in a decades-long struggle with that killer? Horror sequels that come many years after the original and feature the same main character unavoidably grapple with matters relating to the circular nature of fate. Halloween, the same-named sequel to John Carpenter’s 1978 original, is especially committed to those questions in a way that deepens the meanings of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode without straying too ridiculously far from their initial incarnations.

As a direct sequel to the 40-years-earlier initially entry, this Halloween ignores everything that happened in all previous sequels and reboots. It is thus somewhat confusing that it opts for the identical title, but it is also thematically appropriate. Director David Gordon Green and his co-writers Danny McBride and Jeff Fradley are working under the presupposition that where evil struck once, it will strike again, in much the same manner that it did before. That is certainly what Laurie Strode believes, with Jamie Lee Curtis returning to her iconic role once again by jumping headlong into the disaster preparedness lifestyle. Michael has been locked away since the night of his rampage, but Laurie is convinced he will escape and kill again. Her relentless focus on readying herself for that probability has helped her survive, but it has also ruined her relationship with her daughter (Judy Greer) and anyone else she has ever been close with.

Green understands what made Carpenter’s approach so effective, as he similarly relies on tension-building instead of jump scares when showing Michael at work. We see more of the bloody brutality than we used to, which in one way is an indication that it is so hard to shock anymore but in another way is so frightening in its implication that rehabilitation may be impossible in some cases. For Michael, killing is practically a vocation. There are attempts by a few characters to explain his motivations, but he remains so terrifying mysterious, because the explanation ultimately never goes beyond the tautology of “he kills because he has to kill.” While Laurie is one of his favorite targets, there is a mythically eternal element to their struggle that suggests that he cannot ever actually kill her and also that she cannot ever kill him. Thus, at the moment that she gains the upper hand and we see his confused reaction, it is devastating. Not because we sympathize with the killer, but because the saga may very well have finally reached the point when it must end.

Halloween is Recommended If You Like: Halloween (1978), Disaster preparedness

Grade: 4 out of 5 Stabbings

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Stronger’ Pulls No Punches in Dramatizing the Recovery of a Boston Marathon Bombing Victim

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CREDIT: Lionsgate/Roadside Attractions

This review was originally posted on News Cult in September 2017.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Tatiana Maslany, Miranda Richardson, Clancy Brown

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: R for Bombing Gore and Boston Profanity

Release Date: September 22, 2017 (Limited)

Inspirational stories of recovery typically focus on people who are working towards some major goal that is waylaid by an accident or a tragedy. But what about the people who are just getting by in life? Many runners were injured at the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, but so were many spectators. Jeff Bauman, who lost his legs to the blast, is one of the latter. He was there to support his on-again/off-again girlfriend Erin Hurley, as she made her way to the finish line when fate destructively intervened. Without any sort of motivation to get back out on the pavement driving him, what would the road to recovery for Jeff be like? Stronger opens up the curtain on that frustrating process.

Bauman achieved fame in the wake of the bombing when a (graphic) photo of him being pulled away from the blast site became iconic and also when he gave a description of Tamerlan Tsarnaev to the FBI upon waking from a coma. This led to media appearances like throwing out the first pitch at a Red Sox game that served the purpose of solidifying the Boston Strong mythologizing of his hometown.

But the public image of everyday heroes obscures the painful struggle behind the scenes. As Jake Gyllenhaal’s portrayal makes clear, Bauman was not at all eager to play this role. His scraggly hair and deep pupils complement his physical and emotional breakdowns in the face of any pressure. It certainly does not help that his family – loud, crude, overbearing, fiercely protective – fits the Bostonian stereotype to a T. Director David Gordon Green makes sure to have an ever-present feeling of claustrophobia.

The cruel joke at the heart of this all is that Jeff has a reputation for never showing up to the important moments in his life. Cheering his girlfriend on at the race is totally out of character for him. It is the major divisive factor causing the strife in their relationship. It drives the engine of his feelings of inferiority that prevent him from fully committing to his recovery. As Erin, Tatiana Maslany bears the brunt of the agony of these shortcomings, registering the pain all over her face. Even when Jeff ultimately turns a positive corner, the damage is done, and the scars are lasting.

As a title, Stronger is more wish than fact. The movie concludes with Jeff trying to do his best, but the major lesson to be gleaned from his story is that not everyone can summon the willpower to stand defiantly against the evils of the world as easily as catchy slogans and media mythmaking may want us to.

Stronger is Recommended If You Like: Jake Gyllenhaal in all his versatility, Million Dollar Baby, Sticking with people through their lowest points

Grade: 3 out of 5 Gallows Jokes