Merry Christmas from Rock Stars, Vampires, and Boxers, Oh My!

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Merry Christmas from the Movies! (CREDIT [Clockwise from Top Left]: Aidan Monaghan/Focus Features; Sabrina Lantos/Amazon MGM; A24; Macall Polay/Searchlight Pictures)

A Complete Unknown

Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Edward Norton, Elle Fanning, Monica Barbaro, Boyd Holbrook, Scoot McNairy, Dan Fogler, Norbert Leo Butz, Eriko Hatsune, P.J. Byrne, Will Harrison, Charlie Tahan, Ryan Harris Brown, Eli Brown, Michael Chernus

Director: James Mangold

Running Time: 141 Minutes

Rating: R for Arrogant Artist Behavior

Release Date: December 25, 2024 (Theaters)

Nosferatu

Starring: Bill Skarsgård, Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Emma Corrin, Willem Dafoe, Ralph Ineson, Simon McBurney

Director: Robert Eggers

Running Time: 132 Minutes

Rating: R for Ecstatic Sex and Bloodsucking

Release Date: December 25, 2024 (Theaters)

The Fire Inside

Starring: Ryan Destiny, Brian Tyree Henry, Oluniké Adeliyi, De’Adre Aziza, Sarah Allen

Director: Rachel Morrison

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Language, Jabs, and Hooks

Release Date: December 25, 2024 (Theaters)

The cinematic landscape at Christmas is typically dominated by franchise blockbusters and family-friendly flicks, with awards hopefuls also trying to make their way into the mix. But then there are also always some oddballs of various genres for anyone who prefers a more aggro or otherwise offbeat holiday. What’s interesting about December 25 this year is that all four of the wide releases arriving alongside Santa could be categorized in the alternative section. So which one of them should be your chaser after opening up all your presents? Or should you down some nog in preparation of a double feature? Here’s my take on the polar landscape.

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‘Babylon’ is an Overlong, Overexcited Warping of ‘Singin’ in the Rain’

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Babble on! (CREDIT: Scott Garfield/Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Margot Robbie, Brad Pitt, Diego Calva, Jean Smart, Jovan Adepo, Li Jun Li, Lukas Haas, Max Minghella, Samara Weaving, Olivia Wilde, Katherine Waterston, Flea, Jeff Garlin, Olivia Hamilton, P.J. Byrne, Rory Scovel, Eric Roberts, Tobey Maguire

Director: Damien Chazelle

Running Time: 188 Minutes

Rating: R for Bacchanalian Partying, Sudden Bloody Ends, and a Few Bumps of the Hard Stuff

Release Date: December 23, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: It’s the 1920s, and Hollywood is Big Business. And when they’re not making movies, it’s basically a non-stop party. But danger also lurks around every corner. With the talkie era looming, Nellie LaRoy (Margot Robbie) is ready to be a supernova, Jack Conrad (Brad Pitt) is hoping to stay relevant, trumpeter Sidney Palmer (Jovan Adepo) wants to be treated with respect, and dozens of other folks also have their skin in the game. There will be a rise! There will be a fall! There will be an epilogue! You know how it goes.

What Made an Impression?: If you’re thinking that this premise sounds a lot like Singin’ in the Rain, well, writer-director Damien Chazelle doesn’t make any effort to hide that influence. Babylon is essentially the answer to the question, “What if Singin’ in the Rain had ten more storylines and a hundred more exposed private parts?” If that sounds like overkill to you, I would advise you to trust your instincts. The jazz is great, though. Chazelle absolutely knows how to assemble a musical montage.

Babylon‘s next biggest influence, weirdly enough, appears to be the grossest of gross-out comedies in the vein of the Farrelly brothers, as mass quantities of bodily fluids spurt out unexpectedly in all directions on multiple occasions. Within the first five minutes, an elephant excretes what appears to be an entire week’s worth of its meals. A little later, the fanciest of fancy parties is ruined by a heaping helping of projectile vomit. Chazelle’s timing when it comes to yukking it up aren’t on quite the same level as his musical skills. I’m not sure if these moments are meant to be hilarious, tragic, or just plain matter-of-fact.

There are also a lot of deaths in Babylon, and most of them are given exactly zero seconds to investigate the consequences. I’m not surprised that movie set workplace safety wasn’t exactly a top priority a hundred years ago, but it can only work as a punchline so often in this sort of overstimulated movie. After a certain point, it’s just alarming without examining what happens afterward. Babylon is filled with inexplicable decisions, is what I’m trying to say.

Babylon is Recommended If You Like: Being Overstimulated

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Parties