‘Horizon,’ Where Art Thou?

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot

Starring: Kevin Costner, Sienna Miller, Sam Worthington, Michael Rooker, Danny Huston, Jena Malone, Michael Angarano, Abbey Lee, Jamie Campbell Bower, Jon Beavers, Owen Crow Shoe, Tatanka Means, Luke Wilson, Ella Hunt, Tom Payne, Georgia MacPhail, Will Patton, Isabelle Fuhrman, Jeff Fahey, Gregory Cruz, Scott Haze, Angus Macfadyen, Etienne Kellici, Charles Halford, Dale Dickey, Wasé Chief, Elizabeth Dennehy, Hayes Costner, Alejandro Edda, Tim Guinee, Colin Cunningham, James Russo, Douglas Smith, Larry Bagby, Dalton Baker, Chase Ramsey, Naomi Winders, Austin Archer, Giovanni Ribisi

Director: Kevin Costner

Running Time: 181 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 28, 2024 (Theaters)

Many of my movie reviews operate by a simple question. And it goes a little something like this: do I want to have the sort of life portrayed in the movie that I’m reviewing? And so, now that I’ve seen Chapter 1, it must be asked: would I like to live in Horizon? Eh, I can pretty confidently say, “No, thanks.” I’ll see if I can summon back up some interest for Chapters 2-4. Maybe if it turns out the whole story was based in-universe on the drawings of the dopey English couple, then I’ll be satisfied.

Grade: Too Many Horizonites in the Horizon Spoil the Western Broth

‘The Exorcism’ ‘Used to Be Funny’?

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Having a devil of a time (CREDIT: Vertical Entertainment; LevelFILM/Screenshot)

I Used to Be Funny

Starring: Rachel Sennott, Olga Petsa, Jason Jones, Sabrina Jalees, Caleb Hearon, Ennis Esmer, Dani Kind

Director: Ally Pankiw

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

The Exorcism

Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Simpkins, Adam Goldberg, Sam Worthington, Chloe Bailey, David Hyde Pierce, Marcenae Lynette, Tracey Bonner, Samantha Mathis, Adrian Pasdar

Director: Joshua John Miller

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 21, 2024 (Theaters)

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I Chose ‘The Way of Water,’ and That Made All the Difference (In Terms of No Longer Being Parched)

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Water?! No, ‘Way’!
Way!
Excellent.
(CREDIT: Screenshot)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver, Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis, Joel David Moore, CCH Pounder, Edie Falco, Brendan Cowell, Jemaine Clement, Jamie Flatters, Britain Dalton, Trinity Jo-Li Bliss, Jack Champion

Director: James Cameron

Running Time: 192 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: December 16, 2022 (Theaters)

It’s another December in Pandora. Just as in 2009, I spent this day in 2022 at the very same theater, in the very same auditorium, along with one of my very same moviegoing companions, with the very same restaurant (albeit with a new name) for the pre-movie meal, and both times buffeted in between by some suspiciously similar extreme weather. Which is to say, it all felt like home.

I wasn’t as thrilled that Col. Quaritch was back, though. Didn’t we already take care of this guy? Villains gonna villain, I guess. The whaling expeditions were new and fascinating, at least, so thank you for that, Jimmy C. and company. Ultimately, it just felt right to be flying, running, and swimming in Pandora once again.

Grade: A Whale of a Time