Those ‘Mean Girls’ Are Still At It Again 20 Years Later, and This Time, They’ve Brought Songs

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Was this photo taken on a Wednesday? (CREDIT: Jojo Whilden/Paramount © 2023 Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Angourie Rice, Reneé Rapp, Auli’i Cravalho, Christopher Briney, Jaquel Spivey, Bebe Wood, Avantika, Tina Fey, Tim Meadows, Jenna Fischer, Busy Phillips

Directors: Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez Jr.

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Zingers That Go for the Jugular

Release Date: January 12, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: If you’ve been plugged into American pop culture at all in the past 20 years, then surely you know Mean Girls‘ whole deal. This new cinematic edition keeps the same basic narrative structure, so if you already wear pink on Wednesdays, you know what’s coming. In case you need to be initiated, though, here are the essential details: Cady Heron (Angourie Rice) has spent most of her childhood in Kenya, but now that she’s a teenager, her mom (Jenna Fischer) thinks it’s time to move back to America so that Cady can actually have a typical in-person high school experience. She soon attracts the attention of the notorious clique the Plastics: queen bee Regina (Reneé Rapp), desperate-to-please Gretchen (Bebe Wood), and airheaded Karen (Avantika). Cady also develops a more ostensibly genuine friendship with resident outcasts Janis (Auli’i Cravalho) and Damian (Jaquel Spivey), who concoct a revenge scheme to kick Regina off her perch at the top of the social hierarchy. And this time around, there’s singing! That’s right, this Mean Girls is based on the Broadway musical that was based on the original 2004 movie (which was in turn inspired by the parental advice book Queen Bees and Wannabes).

What Made an Impression?: High School is Still a Jungle: A few times while watching nu-Mean Girls, I was plagued by the thought of whether or not we still need a story like this in 2024. After all, aren’t we as a society much more open-minded when it comes to gender and sexual orientation and most other forms of identity? While that may be generally true, it depends on your particular community. Even if you’re lucky enough to grow up in a fully enlightened area, that doesn’t make you emotionally bulletproof. What hasn’t changed in the past couple of decades is our fundamental desire to be accepted by the people who are important to us. So while calling someone gay, for example, might not carry the same sting that it used to (rightly so), we still all have our vulnerabilities, and the folks behind Mean Girls totally understand that the fight against ostracism is a never-ending struggle.
New & Updated (Loopy Edition): I’ve seen the original Mean Girls in its entirety probably only twice or thrice, but I’ve encountered its enduring memes and quotes thousands of times. Which is to say, when this new version diverges onto its own path, it feels like it’s making a point. And that point usually is: don’t you wish we could have phrased that a little bit differently? Tina Fey is the credited screenwriter for both films (as well as the scribe of the book for the stage musical), and that continuity works in the alterations’ favor. And thankfully, while these changes are driven by a moral backbone, they’re not moralizing. The characters are allowed to be messy in a way that teenagers typically are. During moments when it seems like someone is about to declare, “Here are simple instructions for how to be a good person,” they instead say something along the lines of, “I’m on a whole bunch of painkillers right now, so I don’t even know what the heck’s coming out of my mouth.”
Was It a Good Decision to Sing?: If all you know about this version of Mean Girls is what the commercials have shown you, you might not have any idea that this is actually a musical. Regardless of whether or not you’re surprised by this factoid, I’m sure you’d like to know if the songs deliver the goods or not. That of course depends a great deal on your own particular subjective aural tastes. But what’s more objective is how clearly each number and arrangement fits the character of the people performing them. For my money, technical proficiency is less important than personality in musicals, although Mean Girls has plenty of both. Everyone involved knows what they want to say, and they sing their heart’s messages out with abandon.

Mean Girls is Recommended If You Like: TikTok, Memes, Quips, Math, Self-Awareness

Grade: 4 out of 5 Kalteen Bars

How Dreamworthy is ‘Dream Scenario’?

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What a dreamboat! (CREDIT: Jan Thijs/A24)

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julianne Nicholson, Michael Cera, Tim Meadows, Dylan Gelula, Dylan Baker, Kate Berlant, Lily Bird, Jessica Clement, David Klein, Cara Volchoff, Noah Centineo, Nicholas Braun, Amber Midthunder, Lily Gao

Director: Kristoffer Borgli

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: R for Dream Slaughter and Awkward Encounters

Release Date: November 10, 2023 (Limited Theaters)

What’s It About?: Biology professor Paul Matthews (Nicolas Cage) would just like to publish a book about ants one day. But the universe has different plans. A bizarre phenomenon takes hold as hundreds of people start having dreams about him: his daughter, old friends, students of his, and even people he’s never met before. And they all report pretty much the same thing: he doesn’t do much except linger in the background. His story becomes a bit of a media sensation, so he tries to parlay his newfound virality into a publishing opportunity, but his new handlers just aren’t on the same page. Meanwhile, those reveries start turning into nightmares, as Dream Paul becomes sadistically violent and the fallout spills over into his waking life.

What Made an Impression?: For my review of Dream Scenario, I’m going to do things a little differently than I normally do, as the subconscious is a favorite subject of mine. I’ve been keeping a dream journal since I was in high school, and I also keep a running tally of the number of times that people appear in my dreams each year. So my question for Dream Scenario is: is it dream-worthy? Which is to say, do I suspect that it will return to me in my sleep in the years to come? And do I want it to?

To answer all this, I first looked up how often I’ve dreamed of Nicolas Cage. He is one of my favorite actors, after all, and he’s also eminently memeable, so surely he’s an apt fit for the more surreal corners of the brain. But according to my records, he’s only shown up in three of my dreams in the past ten years. Of course, I don’t see Nic Cage while I’m awake as often as I do my immediate family, who show up in my dreams a lot more often.

In general, my dreams are typically related to lingering concerns in my waking life. And a movie certainly could become a lingering concern, if it’s especially unsettling or ambiguous, or if it otherwise just makes some sort of indelible impression. And while Dream Scenario has some fascinating ideas swirling around, it doesn’t strike me as hard-hitting enough that I won’t be able to shake it. (Unless this review becomes an accidental self-fulfilling prophecy. Or anti-prophecy, considering my doubts.)

This is all to say, my concerns about Paul’s story felt mostly wrapped up as the credits rolled. His insecurity made him ill-prepared to handle his sudden fame, but by the end, he seems to have realized who he is. Or at least learned enough about himself that it doesn’t feel like we need to worry. I won’t mind if little nuggets of Dream Scenario ever do return to me in my subconscious, but I also won’t be waiting breathlessly in the meantime.

Dream Scenario is Recommended If You Like: Watching people be misunderstood and then make a fool of themselves

Grade: 3 out of 5 PR Firms

We Need Some Candy on October 31. Do We Also Need ‘Hubie Halloween’?

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Hubie Halloween (CREDIT: Netflix)

Starring: Adam Sandler, Julie Bowen, June Squibb, Kevin James, Ray Liotta, Steve Buscemi, Maya Rudolph, Tim Meadows, Kenan Thompson, Rob Schneider, Michael Chiklis, Karan Brar, Noah Schnapp, Paris Berelc, Sadie Sandler, Sunny Sandler, George Wallace, Colin Quinn, Kym Whitley, Mikey Day

Director: Steven Brill

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Release Date: October 7, 2020 (Netflix)

I decided that I simply must have something to say about Hubie Halloween, since I hold so dearly Adam Sandler’s last-minute Halloween costume ideas on Weekend Update from back in the day. So the big question is: did this tale of Salem’s official Halloween monitor give me those same warm, sugary feelings?

The Sandman has busted that old Shabadoo-voice, so that certainly helps. But what’s up with all the kids in town (and some adults) pelting him with candy whatever chance they get? Hubie wants you to have a happy Halloween! It’s hard to do that when you’re sacrificing your own candy! Furthermore, in addition to all the mischief, there’s several attempted felonies, a fair degree of mental instability, and pretty much no attempt to reconcile that darkness with the purely comical tone.

Ultimately, in a weird way this is all in keeping with the spirit of last-minute costume ideas. Hubie Halloween feels like a last-minute movie that was quickly cobbled together from a bunch of silly Halloween-related ideas bouncing around in Sandler’s head. In conclusion, I found myself in a good mood after watching, and I’m happy to declare, once again, “Now give me some candy!”

Grade: 3 out of 5 Crazy Protractor Beards

Son of Zorn 1.4 Review: “The Weekend Warrior”

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SON OF ZORN:  L-R:  Zorn (voiced by Jason Sudeikis) and Johnny Pemberton in the "The Weekend Warrior" episode of SON OF ZORN airing Sunday, Oct. 16 (8:31-9:00 PM ET/PT on FOX).  ©2016 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  FOX

“I’ve been pantsed. I’ve been pantsed many times. And it is not hilarious.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-son-of-zorn-the-weekend-warrior/

Son of Zorn 1.1 Review: “Return to Orange County”

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