My Second Voyage with The Meg, My First Voyage with the Demeter

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Meg 2: Dracula Boogaloo (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot; Rainer Bajo/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment)

Meg 2: The Trench:

Starring: Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Shuya Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis, Melissanthi Mahut, Page Kennedy, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Skyler Samuels, Sienna Guillory, Whoopie Van Raam, Kiran Sonia Sawar, Felix Mayr

Director: Ben Wheatley

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: August 4, 2023 (Theaters)

The Last Voyage of the Demeter:

Starring: Corey Hawkins, Aisling Franciosi, Liam Cunningham, David Dastmalchian, Javier Botet, Woody Norman

Director: André Øvredal

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 11, 2023 (Theaters)

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‘Cobweb’ Warns You To Keep Your Eyes and Ears Peeled for What Lurks Within the Walls

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Listening for cobwebs (CREDIT: Vlad Cioplea/Lionsgate)

Starring: Woody Norman, Lizzy Caplan, Cleopatra Coleman, Antony Starr

Director: Samuel Bodin

Running Time: 88 Minutes

Rating: R for Bodies Torn Apart in Nasty Ways

Release Date: July 21, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: There’s something very creepy hiding within the walls of young Peter’s (Woody Norman) house. His parents Carol (Lizzy Caplan) and Mark (Antony Starr) seem to know about it, but they’d much rather gaslight their son into believing that there’s nothing to worry about. So his home life is filled with suffocating angst, and school isn’t much better, as he’s an easy target for bullying. The only person he can confide in is his new substitute teacher Ms. Devine (Cleopatra Coleman), but Mom and Dad keep getting in the way of her efforts to reach out as well. Peter eventually decides that he’d much rather ally himself with the shadowy figure, but it quickly becomes clear that he may have seriously miscalculated the threat he’s facing.

What Made an Impression?: Time Warp: Cobweb never explicitly announces its temporal setting, which would usually mean that it’s set in the present day, but there are reasons to think otherwise. We never see anyone using any computers, or watching TV, though the clothing styles are close to modern. Peter’s house has a midcentury vibe, but in a sense that much of the domestic architecture of the late 20th and early 21st centuries is inherited from the 1950s. But we do see Ms. Devine using an iPhone at one point, which suggests that Carol and Mark are doing their damnedest to artificially keep their home stuck in the past. They clearly buried something seriously wrong long ago, and looking backward must have seemed more attractive than barreling ahead.
Mystery Monster: For most of Cobweb, the visuals and motivations remain shrouded and obscured. They’re teased out in tantalizing morsels, as Peter believes he may have discovered a long-lost sibling. When the creature fully emerges for a bloody climax, the exact nature of this being becomes clearer, though not entirely so. There are enough concrete details for viewers who demand a straightforward explanation, but also enough ambiguity to satisfy those who are more unnerved by that which can never be fully explained. It might feel a little half-baked, but it’s a unique enough vision of domestic terror to stick in your craw.

Cobweb is Recommended If You Like: Mama, Bully comeuppance, The 1950 short film A Date with Your Family

Grade: 3 out of 5 Whispers

‘C’Mon C’Mon’ R’view R’view

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C’Mon C’Mon (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Woody Norman, Gaby Hoffman, Scoot McNairy, Molly Webster, Jaboukie Young-White

Director: Mike Mills

Running Time: 108 Minutes

Rating: R for Language (But I Say “Come On!” to the MPA! There’s Only One Scene of Really Bad Profanity!)

Release Date: November 19, 2021 (Theaters)

When you go see a movie with a title like “C’Mon C’Mon,” you can’t help but wonder if it’ll have you yourself yelling “C’Mon C’Mon!” back at the screen. Well, at least I can’t help but wonder that. Your mileage may vary. There are various reasons why one might have this reaction: cheering along, frustration, or maybe you just have to go to the bathroom and it’s a mantra to help you hold it in until the credits start rolling. If I counted correctly, there was precisely one time when I in fact yelled that “C’Mon C’Mon.” And it was merely an internal yell. (It would’ve been a little rude to my fellow moviegoers to scream in the middle of the theater, after all.) But that paucity is actually appropriate, because despite the title, this is a movie designed to be nodded along to as it gently washes over you.

Joaquin Phoenix plays radio journalist Johnny, who pops in for a rare visit to his sister Viv (Gaby Hoffman) and then suddenly finds himself babysitting his energetic nephew Jesse (Woody Norman) while Viv goes off to help Jesse’s father Paul (Scoot McNairy), who’s living with bipolar disorder. Johnny’s currently working on a project in which he and his colleagues are going around to various locales to interview teenagers about what it’s like to be a kid in their home cities in today’s world. That’s not exactly an ideal situation for a nine-year-old to be tagging along, but Johnny’s happy to actually get the opportunity to be an uncle, and he and Jesse develop a quick rapport.

Ultimately, C’Mon C’Mon is a gentle how-to guide about raising a kid. Much of the running time consists of Johnny and Viv texting or chatting on the phone to hash out all the child-rearing stresses that arise on a daily basis. Jesse’s a bit of a handful, though he’s hardly a demon child. The worst things he does are on the level of forgetting to pack his toothbrush or scaring his uncle half to death by wandering off. None of these moments lead to a full-blown emergency; instead, Johnny freaks out and Jesse gets upset, but things settle down soon enough. Then Johnny and Viv discuss the best way to talk to a child after these sorts of things happen. If you’re a new parent, or a new aunt or uncle who’s babysitting for the first time, this is a helpful movie to watch. I’m not quite there yet myself, but I might be relatively soon, so I feel like I must say thank you to everyone involved with making this movie.

C’Mon C’Mon is Recommended If You Like: Mike Mills’ gentle filmography, Texting conversations popping up on screen, Reading parenting blogs and magazines

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Boom Mics