‘Fast X’ Asks If This Can Really Last Forever

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Family (CREDIT: Peter Mountain/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Momoa, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Sung Kang, Nathalie Emmanuel, John Cena, Jordana Brewster, Brie Larson, Alan Ritchson, Jason Statham, Daniela Melchior, Leo Abelo Perry, Scott Eastwood, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren, Rita Moreno

Director: Louis Leterrier

Running Time: 141 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Flying Cars and Bullets

Release Date: May 19, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: We’re ten* films deep now in the Fast & Furious franchise (eleven if you count the spinoff), and things are getting pretty X-treme! Of course, you might well reasonably note that extremity was this series’ m.o. from the very beginning. But this is the first time that an “X” actually managed to sneak its way into the title. And that’s not the only unique bit of business. Usually these movies are pretty self-contained, and the plot is generally besides the point, but Fast X calls back directly to a previous adventure. Luckily for anyone who needs a refresher, there are plenty of flashbacks to Fast Five, when Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his crew pulled off a heist in Brazil against drug lord Hernan Reyes. Now Hernan’s eccentric and sadistic son Dante (Jason Momoa) is out for revenge. He prefers to make his victims suffer, and for someone who values family as much as Dom, there are innumerable ways to poke at that nerve.

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‘Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre’ is Impressively Confusing

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Which one’s Ruse? (CREDIT: Dan Smith/Lionsgate)

Starring: Jason Statham, Aubrey Plaza, Cary Elwes, Josh Hartnett, Hugh Grant, Eddie Marsan, Bugzy Malone, Peter Ferdinando

Director: Guy Ritchie

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for Spies Being Spies

Release Date: March 3, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Would you watch a movie in which the motley crew of Jason Statham, Aubrey Plaza, and Cary Elwes team up together for some espionage? What if we also threw Josh Hartnett into the mix as one of the biggest movie stars in the world? And what if Hugh Grant played the billionaire arms dealer they have in their crosshairs? Well, that might all sound ridiculous, but it’s exactly what Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre has to offer. Will the plot make any sense, or will everyone be too stylish and quippy to even care about something like logic?

What Made an Impression?: I often find espionage movies difficult to parse, and I know I’m not the only one. In a way, that’s the nature of the genre.With all the subterfuge and double-crossings, these stories tend to be opaque by design. And Operation Fortune really takes the cake in that regard, because pretty much immediately I had no idea what was happening. Who are these spies? What country, if any, do they work for? What disaster are they trying to prevent? Does anything even matter?

That confusion isn’t necessarily a problem, especially if you have style and wit to spare, but it’s also nice to have a sense of something resembling a base reality. Instead, the Operation Fortune engine plows forward without letting us know its origin or destination. It’s so ill-defined that I was positively shocked when Guy Ritchie was revealed as the director during the credits. It certainly features some of his trademarks and regular players, but it also feels so out to sea that I could hardly believe that it was actually made by someone so familiar.

Anyway, even though I abandoned all hope of ever understanding what was happening, I at least held out hope that I might be entertained. That happened sporadically, with Plaza providing her trademark bitterly playful edge, which is a new flavor for Ritchie World. And at one point Cary Elwes says something that I’m pretty sure was meant as a subtle reference to The Princess Bride‘s poison cup scene. Other than that, everyone in the cast seemed to be enjoying themselves, while I was left out in the cold crying, “I wish I knew what was going on!”

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre is Recommended If You Like: Hugh Grant being a total dirtbag

Grade: 2 out of 5 Hard Drives

I Saw ‘Spiral’ and ‘Wrath of Man’ on the Same Weekend, and I’m Happy with That Decision

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(CREDIT: Brooke Palmer; Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures)

Spiral:

Starring: Chris Rock, Max Minghella, Samuel L. Jackson, Marisol Nichols

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: May 14, 2021 (Theaters)

Wrath of Man:

Starring: Jason Statham, Holt McCallany, Jeffrey Donovan, Josh Hartnett, Chris Reilly, Laz Alonso, Raúl Castillo, DeObia Oparei, Eddie Marsan, Scott Eastwood, Niamh Algar, Babs Olusanmokun, Josh Cowdery, Andy García, Rob Delaney, Lyne Renée

Director: Guy Ritchie

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: May 7, 2021 (Theaters)

I’m tempted to say that Spiral is my favorite Saw movie, but that wouldn’t mean all that much, as it’s only the second one I’ve ever seen. And it might not even be true anyway, since I enjoyed the philosophical conundrums that Saw 2 made me ponder. But Spiral has a whole “surprisingly favorite” vibe to it in opposition to the rest of the series. It may not be entirely different from its predecessors, but it diverges enough for me to go, “I’m pleased with the new direction.” I may not have seen Saw, Saw‘s IIIIV, Saw 3D, or Jigsaw, but I’m familiar enough with them to feel like I’m emerging upon a new horizon. The torture is still too mentally and visually taxing, but the game’s rules and players have been updated.

As for Wrath of Man, I can confidently say that it is indeed my favorite Guy Ritchie movie. Although I should note that I haven’t seen his early stuff, so this might sound like faint praise. (My previous favorite by default was probably Aladdin. Or the parts of The Gentleman with Hugh Grant.) But Wrath of Man nevertheless stands tall on its own, and in opposition to the rest of its director’s filmography. Instead of being about a bunch of gangsters having a bloody good time, this is about a bunch of criminals and working stiffs being deathly, DEATHLY serious about everything. This movie is so bleak. It’s as bleak as a butt. It’s an elemental examination of Violence, Retribution, and Pure Evil. I don’t want to spend all my moviegoing hours in Wrath of Man Land, but visiting there every once in a while provides a healthy catharsis.

GRADES:
Spiral: 3 out of 5 Minghella Rocks
Wrath of Man: 4 out of 5 Statham Hartnetts

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 5/7/21

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Ziew (CREDIT: Showtime/YouTube Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Mainstream (Theaters and On Demand)
Wrath of Man (Theaters) – It’s the latest from Jason Statham, can you handle it?!

TV
Mythic Quest Season 2 Premiere (May 7 on Apple TV+) – I’m still on Season 1, though!
Ziwe Series Premiere (May 9 on Showtime) – I’m hearing big things are in store for this Ziwe Fumudoh lady.

Music
-Weezer, Van Weezer
-Nancy Wilson, You and Me – One of the Heart sisters goes solo!

Movie Review: ‘Hobbs & Shaw’ is Surprisingly Goofy, Unsurprisingly Family-Oriented, and Annoyingly Convoluted

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CREDIT: Frank Masi/Universal Pictures

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Idris Elba, Vanessa Kirby, Eddie Marsan, Eiza González, Helen Mirren

Director: David Leitch

Running Time: 136 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Big Vehicles and Big Egos Slamming Into Each Other

Release Date: August 2, 2019

Spin-offs should offer something that the original couldn’t. Hobbs & Shaw immediately feels off in that regard, considering that Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) have already been a couple of the biggest characters in the last few Fast & Furious movies. Although, they aren’t quite members of the core family, so that leaves them enough wiggle room to break out on their own. But it can’t be too different! This franchise has a sterling stunt reputation it needs to maintain, and while director David Leitch and company do not try to be as relentlessly mind-blowing as Fast Five or Furious 7, there is at least one memorable moment when a motorcycle slinks between some truck tires.

The separation, then, mostly comes in Hobbs & Shaw being at its core an odd couple buddy comedy, and in this case, that means a few celebrity cameos who inject their own particular brands of impishness. These moments feel out of place in this world, but they might also be the best parts? Their charms cannot be denied. Honestly, though, I think we would have been better off spending more time with Hobbs’ daughter (Eliana Sua), as her scenes are both delightful AND internally consistent.

As wonderfully corny as Hobbs & Shaw is willing to be, it can’t change the fact that most of the plot is convoluted high-tech, globetrotting nonsense. Idris Elba is the cybernetically enhanced big bad, and we get a few genuinely disturbing shots of how he is becoming a superhuman or something beyond human. There is a hint of a larger conspiracy at play here, but only a hint. Meanwhile Vanessa Kirby plays Deckard’s sister Hattie, an MI6 agent who has been infected with a virus that’s going to kill her and apparently everyone around her also. The explanation for how the virus is supposed to spread is either glossed over or not emphasized enough, which is a problem because the race to cure Hattie is what drives most of the action.

Thankfully, the reward for dithering through all that is a surefire demonstration that we must, in true F&F fashion, celebrate the importance of family. It’s not as flat-out heartwarming as the series proper, but Hobbs takes us all along to Samoa to meet his mom and brothers, and Helen Mirren totally rocks her prison jumpsuit in her return as Mama Shaw. I could do without all the derivative action flick gobbledygook, but I’m grateful for the good vibes.

Hobbs & Shaw is Recommended If You Like: James Bond, but with a goofy postmodern (though not quite parody) sensibility

Grade: 3 out of 5 Friendy Insults

This Is a Movie Review: The Meg

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CREDIT: Warner Bros.

The Meg‘s reported production budget is at least $130 million, but it sure does not look like it. Oh, it’s certainly professionally made, but you can see it cutting corners in a manner typical of cheapie SyFy creature features. Characters sit around in a submersibles and wait for something to happen, the settings are often confined locations, and the big set piece with a bunch of extras is a little light on mayhem. But while all those dollars may not be visible, The Meg does have enough of a sheen that justifies projecting it on the big screen. Ultimately, it’s disposable, but eminently watchable. Jason Statham spears a giant shark in the eye, Rainn Wilson provides the comic relief (and gets his comeuppance, even though I don’t think he really deserves any comeuppance), everyone on the boats seem like to each other, and they shout crazy exclamations when they’re in imminent danger. Also, there’s a Thai cover of Toni Basil’s “Mickey.”

I give The Meg 15 Chomps out of 25 Overboard.