Best Movies of 2016

December 31, 2016

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CREDIT: YouTube Screenshots

This ranking was originally posted on News Cult in December 2016.

Yes, it’s another best movies of the year list, which you are reading perhaps because you know me personally. Or maybe you don’t know me in the flesh, but you follow my writing and want to keep up with my opinions regardless of how much you agree or disagree with them. Or it could be that you have stumbled upon this article by sheer happenstance. In that case, I shall do best to steer you straight.

Is this list more “right” than any other critic’s? It is certainly correct in the sense that it has come from a place of honesty. I feel enthusiastic about these films, and so I have decided to say to the world, “This is my interpretation. Perhaps you will feel the same.”

Enjoy!

10. 10 Cloverfield Lane
An anthology-style cinematic universe grows into itself in its second chapter. Mary Elizabeth Winstead finds herself in a bunker under the iron fist of John Goodman, giving the performance of his career. A drum of acid is even scarier than the monsters supposedly outside. Our pulses adapt to the rhythm of the thrills.

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Best TV Shows of 2016

December 30, 2016

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CREDIT: YouTube Screenshots

This ranking was originally posted on News Cult in December 2016.

We are at the point in history when we must accept that even those whose job it is to watch TV cannot possibly keep up with all that the medium has to offer. The same thing happened long ago with literature, and we have made our peace with it in such a way that we are still able to make year-end best-of lists of books. Thus the value in continuing to do the same for the boob tube remains.

When other lists feature shows I haven’t been watching, I do not despair over the impossibility of watching everything. Instead, I express gratitude that I will never be bored. And when I include my own obscure and underappreciated selections, I treat those decisions with the utmost responsibility.

10. Rectify (Sundance)
Perhaps the most patient series of the 21st century, Rectify came to an end in 2016. Its conclusion is satisfying, which is unsurprising because it has always been consistently satisfying. The central question of former death row inmate Daniel Holden’s innocence or guilt is basically answered, even though the matter is not directly addressed, because this series is more about examining humanity than anything so simple as “answers.”

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Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of January 7, 2017

December 29, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
8. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
9. OK Go – “The One Moment”
10. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
11. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
12. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
13. The 1975 – “Somebody Else”
14. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
15. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
16. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
17. Green Day – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
18. The xx – “On Hold”
19. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
20. twenty one pilots – “Cancer”
21. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”
22. The Lumineers – “Sleep on the Floor”
23. Metallica – “Atlas, Rise!”
24. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
25. Empire of the Sun – “High and Low”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. My Name is Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Unsteady
5. High and Low
6. Somebody Else
7. On Hold
8. Ride
9. The One Moment
10. Ophelia
11. Heathens
12. Atlas, Rise!
13. Waste a Moment
14. Cleopatra
15. Take It All Back
16. Cancer
17. Hymn for the Weekend
18. I Apologize
19. Still Breathing
20. HandClap
21. Sleep on the Floor
22. She’s Out of Her Mind
23. Love on the Weekend
24. Sucker for Pain
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of January 7, 2017

December 29, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
2. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
3. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
4. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
5. Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall – “Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)”
6. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
7. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
8. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
9. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
10. Drake – “Fake Love”
11. Aminé – “Caroline”
12. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
13. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
14. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
15. D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – “Broccoli”
16. Mariah Carey – “All I Want for Christmas is You”
17. Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd – “Starving”
18. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
19. Young M.A. – “OOOUUU”
20. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Scars to Your Beautiful
2. OOOUUU
3. Starboy
4. Black Beatles
5. Side to Side
6. Broccoli
7. Love on the Brain
8. Closer
9. 24K Magic
10. Heathens
11. Starving
12. All I Want for Christmas is You
13. Bad and Boujee
14. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)
15. Bad Things
16. Let Me Love You
17. Caroline
18. Fake Love
19. Don’t Wanna Know
20. Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)

This Is a Movie Review: 20th Century Women

December 27, 2016

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20th-century-women-cast

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Annette Bening, Lucas Jade Zumann, Elle Fanning, Greta Gerwig, Billy Crudup

Director: Mike Mills

Running Time: 118 Minutes

Rating: R for Frankness When It Comes to Sexuality and Drug Use

Release Date: December 28, 2016 (Limited)

In this semi-autobiographical effort from writer/director Mike Mills (Beginners, Thumbsucker), Dorothea (Annette Bening) is a single mom struggling to raise her son Jamie (Lucas Jade Zumann) by herself in 1970s Southern California. The idea that she is struggling mostly comes from her own neurotic self. But regardless of how accurate her worries are, she decides to enlist the help of some of the women in her life in the making of Jamie into a man. Her cadre includes Abbie (Greta Gerwig), a wayward boarder at Dorothea’s house, and Julie (Elle Fanning), a plainly independent teenager prone to sneaking into Jamie’s bedroom (but not doing much else once she gets there). Also on hand is the rugged and sensitive William (Billy Crudup), another boarder.

Your appreciation of 20th Century Women will likely depend on how much you can relate to this living situation, whether via experience or imagination. For me personally, I could not connect with it too deeply because I found the relationships between the main characters ever-so-slightly off-putting. They do not lack for affection, and they are thoroughly observed, but they are uncomfortable in a way that makes this film easier to merely appreciate rather than embrace.

There are a couple elements that I do want to praise without qualification. The film often evokes a dreamy, hazy quality that evokes the liberal atmosphere of the time. Splashes of vibrant color are strewn across the screen, and montages of major incidents ramp up the intensity via manipulation-of-time editing techniques. Then there is the dinner scene, in which everyone in attendance suddenly finds themselves tasked with teaching Jamie the proper way to sexually please a woman. Crudup delivers a soon-to-be-classic line of sage wisdom on that topic (don’t watch the trailer if you don’t want to be spoiled), and those who see 20th Century Women will never be the same again.

20th Century Women is Recommended If You Like: Beginners, The Kids Are All Right

Grade: 3 out of 5 Billowy Shirts

This Is a Movie Review: Paterson

December 26, 2016

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paterson-adam-driver

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Adam Driver, Golshifteh Farahani, Nellie the English Bulldog

Director: Jim Jarmusch

Running Time: 118 Minutes

Rating: R for Language Apparently, But I Don’t Remember Anything Particularly Harsh

Release Date: December 28, 2016 (Limited)

In Paterson, the latest from director Jim Jarmusch (Dead Man, Ghost Dog, Broken Flowers), Adam Driver plays a bus driver named Paterson in Paterson, NJ who writes poetry in between his routes. Maybe that sounds way boring to you, or maybe it sounds very lovely. Either way, this film will most likely not change your mind. But I urge those who are skeptical to give it a chance. The multiplex culture of cinema dictates that high-intensity action must be going on at all times, which relegates films like Paterson to a ghetto in which they can only be appreciated by “arthouse” nerds. But any living human being can find value in taking the time to appreciate the rhythms of daily life as realized by Jarmusch and Driver.

In addition to driving his routes and writing his verses, Paterson spends his days at home with his supportive wife Laura (Golshifteh Farahani), who encourages him to publish his poems. (It helps a great deal that we can actually agree with Laura in regards to the high quality of her husband’s literary skills.) He also walks his bulldog Marvin to a local bar and gets a drink alongside some crazy characters. They are not sitcom-grade stereotypes, but real people, you know? But some sitcom-worthy shenanigans do go down, y’all.

Driver’s intense sensitivity (or is that sensitive intensity?) anchors the whole proceedings. As much as I believe in the power of reflective, low-stakes cinema in and of itself, it requires an especially magnetic actor to be particularly worthwhile. Driver is proving himself to be the type of performer who can make anything compelling. What he can accomplish just by listening is evident when he has a chance encounter with a Japanese tourist who also loves poetry. That scene is the apotheosis of Paterson’s entire purpose.

A final note: special recognition must be given to Nellie, the later canine actor who portrays Marvin in a gender-bending performance that was good enough to win the Palm Dog Award at the last Cannes Film Festival.

Paterson is Recommended If You Like: Free Verse

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Sensitive Man Poems

What Won TV? – December 18-December 24, 2016

December 25, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

jeopardy_cindy_stowell_alex_trebek

Sunday – The Affair
Monday – Dear people of earth: People of Earth just completed an exemplary first season.
Tuesday – Billy on the Street
Wednesday – Jeopardy! (RIP Cindy Stowell)
Thursday – Football (Giants-Eagles) was pretty exciting.
Friday – Jeopardy!
Saturday – The family watched Elf after Christmas Eve after dinner.

This Is a Movie Review: Hidden Figures

December 23, 2016

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hidden-figures-janelle-monae-taraji-p-henson-octavia-spencer

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Janelle Monáe, Kevin Costner, Jim Parsons, Kirsten Dunst

Director: Theodore Melfi

Running Time: 126 Minutes

Rating: PG for the Everyday Realities of Racism

Release Date: December 25, 2016 (Limited), Expands Nationwide January 6, 2017

Hidden Figures tells the true stories of African-American mathematicians Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson, who were essential employees to NASA during the Space Race. Let me reiterate: this is a TRUE story, but somehow these ladies are not an iconic part of the fabric of American history. Surely, there is institutional sexism and racism at play here, but less insidiously, there is also the fact that most workers at NASA who remained on the ground are not household names. But also, come on! – Katherine Johnson was John Glenn’s trusty confidant, relying on her for accurate calculations during his time in the stars.

As Hidden Figures kicks off, we know we are in good hands. Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monáe (Johnson, Vaughan, and Jackson, respectively) are stuck on the side of the road due to a broken-down car while on their way to work. I think I speak for most of humanity when I say I would happily watch these ladies just hang out and do anything. The white Virginia traffic cop who pulls up to inspect their situation apparently feels the same way. This scene looks like it is about to play out like a typical example of civil rights-era Southern racism, but instead the officer is impressed that these ladies know their science and offers them an escort service.

This is how much of the film plays out. The racism and sexism these “hidden figures” experience are institutional and not personal except insofar as any instance of discrimination is personal. Everyone in this story wants to see America succeed above the clouds, and these women meet resistance only when their efforts get in the way of standard practice. For Henson, that means a hilarious/heartbreaking routine of racing 20 minutes each way across the NASA campus to the nearest colored restroom. Indignities like these are eventually beaten into submission, and the crowd-pleasing meter is constantly at its highest level.

I would be remiss not to mention the wholesome and sweet love story between Katherine, a single mother widower, and her second husband Jim. I don’t know if the real-life Johnsons are as gorgeous as Taraji P. Henson and Mahershala Ali, but I am convinced that they must have been. Otherwise, Henson and Ali are miracle workers.

Hidden Figures is the sort of movie that you take your mother to see because you know she is going to love it. It is also the type of movie whose relatively unambitious filmmaking techniques you might criticize, or at least excuse. But in the case of a story as inspiring as this one, that feels unnecessarily petty. Hidden Figures does not gussy itself up, because it will be inspiring even without all the frills. Besides, putting on such airs would be anathema to its humble origins.

Hidden Figures is Recommended If You Like: Apollo 13, A League of Their Own, The Help

Grade: 3.75 out 5 Hammers to Racism

 

This Is a Movie Review: A Monster Calls

December 22, 2016

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A MONSTER CALLS (2016) Conor (Lewis MacDougall) and The Monster (performed and voiced by Liam Neeson)

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Lewis MacDougall, Felicity Jones, Sigourney Weaver, Liam Neeson, Toby Kebbell

Director: J.A. Bayona

Running Time: 108 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Not Watering Down the Rough Patches in Life

Release Date: December 23, 2016 (Limited), Expands Nationwide January 6, 2017

In the fantasy/domestic drama A Monster Calls, adolescent Conor O’Malley (Lewis McDougal) must deal with his mother’s (Felicity Jones) terminal illness, his grandmother’s (Sigourney Weaver) overbearing presence, a classmate’s (James Melville) frequent torments, and the geographical distance from his father (Toby Kebbell). In the midst of all this arises a humanoid tree visitor (voiced by Liam Neeson) from the cemetery by his house. Is this monster a friend offering relief, or a foe busting in with more troubles? Hard to say. What he does have are stories, but their meanings are either difficult to parse or not as comforting as Conor would like.

A Monster Calls is admirably challenging for a film ostensibly aimed at family audiences. The laws of nature are likely to make the life of any teenage boy turbulent, and that difficulty is piled on via his parents’ separation, mother’s closeness to death, and the oppressive dreariness of England. A more typical “fantasy creature meets boy” story would position the monster as protector or companion, but for Conor the Liam Neeson Tree is mostly a source of frustration, which he internalizes and takes out on those around him – destroying a room at his grandmother’s in a fit of rage, getting back at the bully – and the consequences are confoundingly minimal. Conor expects to be punished, but life does not always make sense.

Making A Monster Calls difficult to embrace fully are the unpleasant sound effects that accompany every movement of the tree monster. They are, in a word, oppressive. Perhaps they are meant to illustrate the lack of comfort inherent in Conor’s story, but that strikes me as a step too far.

A Monster Calls is Recommended If You Like: The BFG, The Mother-Son Relationship from The Babadook, Kid Actors with Fiery Emotions

Grade: 3 out of 5 Snapping Tree Branches

This Is a Movie Review: Why Him?

December 21, 2016

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why-him-bryan-cranston-james-franco

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Bryan Cranston, James Franco, Zoey Deutch, Megan Mullally

Director: John Hamburg

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Getting a Little Loose with the Language

Release Date: December 23, 2016

When I first saw the trailer for Why Him?, I thought, “Well, if there’s anyone who can wring something worthwhile out of this stale premise, it might just be Bryan Cranston and James Franco.” It’s Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner for the 21st century: instead of a black man marrying a white woman, it’s James Franco. This particular version of Franco is Laird Mayhew, a vulgar and oversharing but very sweet billionaire video game mogul. He butts heads with father of his girlfriend Ned Fleming (Cranston), the high-strung head of a struggling Detroit printing company. A big deal is made about how alike Ned and Laird are, which is a bit of an exaggeration, though they are both honest to a fault. It is also striking how similar these characters are to their stars’ past roles. Ned is a harried dad that is a variation of the same vein as Walter White or Malcolm in the Middle’s Hal. And Franco is as irrepressible as always.

So, the leads are all set to bite into the gags, and they are not timid about exploring the explicit shenanigans the script leads them into. But the marks of assembly-line modern film comedy (i.e., unimaginative editing and cinematography that favors simple coverage of all angles) cramp their style. That lack of directorial personality is a shame, because the film has some fascinating and relatively unique ideas at its core. For example, Laird was raised by a single mother who never let him outside the house much, which renders Why Him? an interesting examination of someone who never had the experience to learn social skills.

Why Him? also aims to go thematically deeper, as Ned’s predicament touches upon the disappearance of traditional Midwest manufacturing jobs – a sort of Office meets Brexit, as it were. This does not play as a huge concern, but it is a hard topic to avoid in 2016. More pressing, and more timeless, are the women-friendly bona fides at play. This may be no fiery treatise, but the underlying message is undeniably feminist. The film is positively aware that the girlfriend/daughter (Zoey Deutch) is no mere MacGuffin, but a legitimate person in her own right.

Why Him? is Recommended If You Like: Daddy’s Home But Wish It Had Been a Good Movie, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner But Wish That James Franco Had Played Sidney Poitier, Breaking Bad But Wish That James Franco Had Played the Methamphetamine

Grade: 3.5 out 5 Bidet-Style Toilets

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