What Won TV? – April 23-April 29, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Monday – Better Call Saul
Tuesday – Great news! Great News is great!
Wednesday – The Handmaid’s Tale
Thursday – Riverdale
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race snatching us all up as usual
Saturday – Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

This Is a Movie Review: The Circle

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Emma Watson, Tom Hanks, Karen Gillan, Patton Oswalt, John Boyega

Director: James Ponsoldt

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: PG-13, Because When You Have Cameras Everywhere, You’re Gonna See Something

Release Date: April 28, 2017

As the tagline to The Circle informs us, “Knowing everything is good. Knowing everything is better.” As the plot of The Circle demonstrates to us, nailing a tone is good; nailing several different tones is really hard.

This film’s titular company should feel intimately familiar to anyone alive and plugged-in in 2017. The Circle is basically Google and Facebook combined, and considering the extensive connectivity in today’s major tech and social companies, that combination is not exactly far from reality. Throw the NSA and its massive data collection into this stew, bandy about disturbing maxims like “secrets are lies,” and you’ve got yourself a formula for a relevant paranoid (or not so paranoid) thriller.

Success in such an endeavor requires a protagonist that makes sense or at least one whose motivations can be tracked. Alas, Mae Holland (Emma Watson), the Circle’s latest recruit, swings wildly between suspicion and full-bore acceptance of the surveillance state. She is wildly uncomfortable in a standout early scene when she is indoctrinated into the corporate culture, but soon enough she is working alongside the company heads (Tom Hanks and Patton Oswalt) and pushing forward their most privacy-invading initiatives. A mysterious Circle employee (John Boyega) warns Mae about the dangers of what lies ahead, and it is never clear if she trusts him or completely ignores him. Ultimately, she seeks to expose those at the top, but an oddly pitched final shot prompts the question, “To what end?”

The one unqualified success of The Circle is the series of online comments that populate the screen at various points. Mae volunteers to record her whole life to demonstrate her belief in putting cameras everywhere, and her online followers chime in with their various observations. Most of them are along the lines of “You go, Mae!” or “Should we be watching this?” But every tenth one is some hilariously banal declaration like “making a sandwich” or “time to go poo.” This type of humor hits you sideways and buoys The Circle – if only this sort of controlled unpredictability could have been maintained throughout.

The Circle is Recommended If You Like: Nerve, Evil Tom Hanks, YouTube Comments, One More Chance to See Bill Paxton on the Big Screen

Grade: 3 out of 5 Cheeses From Last Year

This Is a Movie Review: Sleight

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Jacob Latimore, Seychelle Gabriel, Storm Reid, Sasheer Zamata, Dulé Hill

Director: J.D. Dillard

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Rating: R for the Bloody Realities of Drug Dealing

Release Date: April 28, 2017

A young man hustles his way around Los Angeles street corners using his prowess in simple, but stunningly original magic tricks. Cards hover in the air and transport through glass windows. These are not the nonsensical shenanigans of Now You See Me. They are more akin to the weirdly practical effects of The Prestige that require a magical degree of dedication. An early peek at a metal disk implanted on the magician’s arm provides a hint of what is going on. Is he the result of secret government experimentation? Has he procured some rogue alien technology? Is this a stealth X-Men movie?

Sleight does not show his full hand right away, mainly because it is so crowded by the genre mish-mash. The light sci-fi added to the action illusions is already enough of a hybrid, but this is also a pretty full-blown coming-of-age romance and an even fuller-blown inner-city crime drama.  Bo (Jacob Latimore), the magician, is looking after his little sister Tina (Storm Reid) in the wake of their mother’s death. He is trying to move them on to a better life, and trying to help his girlfriend Holly (Seychelle Gabriel) out of an abusive parental relationship. Since magic only brings in relatively chump change, he is deep in some heavy drug dealing. He is fine with the hustle, but the dirty work makes him (literally) sick.

The satisfying unpredictability extends to the performances. It is always a joy to witness the sort of naturalistic interplay that Latimore and Gabriel display in their budding romance. This is the sort of tone that appears easy, but its rarity proves otherwise. There are also a couple of comedic actors playing rousingly against type. SNL’s Sasheer Zamata is nearly unrecognizable as a trusty neighbor, and veteran supporting player Brandon Johnson (Rick and Morty, NTSF:SD:SUV::) revels as the muscle in a criminal enterprise. But most stunning of all is Dulé Hill as one of L.A.’s top drug barons. The crowd at the screening I went to was rightly impressed but also eager to see him return to the friendlier TV roles (The West Wing, Psych) that made him famous.

Sleight slips up a bit in its last act by falling into the trap of cliché conflicts. Bo lets Tina go off on our own at a point when he knows their lives are the most in danger they have ever been. For a film that has been so sure-footed up to this point, such a lapse in judgment is frankly mindboggling. Furthermore, the genre mix is not handled perfectly, with certain story threads dropped for large chunks of the running time. (It is a good thing the image of the arm implant is so striking, because otherwise you are liable to forget about it entirely.) The ambition on display here makes a mere hour and a half a little unwieldy. But while Sleight wobbles a bit, it ultimately sticks the landing with a thrilling, uncompromising ending. The story mechanics are rusty, but the tricks are unprecedented.

Sleight is Recommended If You Like: Chronicle, The Prestige, Attack the Block

Grade: 3 out of 5 Electromagnets

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of May 6, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Lord Huron – “The Night We Met”
6. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
7. Lana Del Rey ft. The Weeknd – “Lust for Life”
8. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
9. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
10. Paramore – “Hard Times”
11. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
12. Bob Pressner – “American Dream”
13. John Mayer – “In the Blood”
14. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
15. Linkin Park ft. Pusha T and Stormzy – “Good Goodbye”
16. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
17. Gorillaz – “Saturnz Barz”
18. John Mayer – “Rosie”
19. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
20. John Mayer – “Still Feel Like Your Man”
21. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
22. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
23. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
24. Papa Roach – “Help”
25. John Mayer – “Never on the Day You Leave”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. Way Down We Go
3. Feel It Still
4. Saturnz Barz
5. Love is Mystical
6. Love
7. Hard Times
8. Lust for Life

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of May 6, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Kendrick Lamar – “Humble.”
2. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
3. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
4. Kendrick Lamar – “DNA.”
5. Future – “Mask Off”
6. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
7. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”
8. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
9. Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber – “Despacito”
10. Lil Uzi Vert – “XO TOUR Llif3”
11. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
12. Julia Michaels – “Issues”
13. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”
14. Kendrick Lamar ft. Rihanna – “Loyalty.”
15. Post Malone ft. Quavo – “Congratulations”
16. Kendrick Lamar – “Element.”
17. James Arthur – “Say You Won’t Let Go”
18. Kendrick Lamar ft. Zacari – “Love.”
19. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
20. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Stay
2. Humble.
3. Rockabye
4. DNA.
5. Loyalty.

Bob’s Burgers 7.18 Review: “The Laser-inth”

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“They’re complimentary.” “Well they should be free!” https://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-bobs-burgers-the-laser-inth/

Bob’s Burgers 7.17 Review: “Zero Larp Thirty”

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“How’s your syphilis?” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-bobs-burgers-zero-larp-thirty/

What Won TV? – April 16-April 22, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Last Week Tonight with Larry Skywalker and That Weird Bear
Monday – Better Call Saul
Tuesday – American Housewife
Wednesday – Another Fargo, another messy death
Thursday – Superstore
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – Doctor Who

This Is a Movie Review: Unforgettable

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Rosario Dawson, Katherine Heigl, Geoff Stults

Director: Denise Di Novi

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: R for Impromptu Bathroom Sex and Bloody Carpets

Release Date: April 21, 2017

When Sia’s “Bird Set Free” played at the end of The Shallows, it was one of the most cathartic cinematic moments of 2016. Domestic-revenge thriller Unforgettable bungles the proper order of things by playing this inspirational ballad over the opening credits. This ode to finding yourself in your own melodies is perfect for that moment when the lead character has gotten through all her hardships and is starting anew. This is actually how we are introduced to Julia Banks (Rosario Dawson), who is moving to a new city and getting engaged in the wake of escaping an abusive relationship, but the impact of that exuberance can only be felt mildly without experiencing those troubles alongside Julia.

Strangely enough, though, what Unforgettable most gets right is its pacing. That execution is essential, because otherwise this would just be the latest disposable Fatal Attraction copycat. And at first glance, Unforgettable appears to be totally forgettable. But that may be by design. Julia’s fiancée is conventionally handsome David (Geoff Stults), and David’s ex Tessa (Katherine Heigl) is still in the picture because they share custody of their daughter (Isabella Rice). Tessa clearly wants David back, because of what we assume to be run-of-the-mill jealousy but eventually reveals itself as stone cold, high camp psychopathy.

This might be the most self-aware performance Heigl has ever given. Certainly the script (by Christina Hodson and David Leslie Johnson) stealthily reveals itself to be playing off of her toxic reputation. Heigl’s string of ’00s rom-coms were alternately insipid and hateful; Unforgettable presupposes that maybe she was just being engineered to be a merciless killer the whole time.

In the question of nature vs. nurture, the latter seems to be the answer in this case, as Tessa’s obsessions are in large part the result of Mommie Dearest/Stepford-style engineering from Mom Cheryl Ladd. Tessa tries to present herself as simply high-strung, but the cracks gradually reveal themselves. Relatively mildly cutting dialogue like “Do you miss when Mommy and Daddy lived together?” eventually gives way to referring to her daughter as “living, breathing, perfect cement” and finally a climax in which she greets someone in bloody pain with, “You’ve handled this very poorly.” Sometimes, you just have to pull that ponytail tight and embrace the demon within.

Unforgettable is Recommended If You Like: Lifetime movies, Carrie, Allison Williams’ performance in Get Out

Grade: 3 out of 5 Knives to the Heart

This Is a Movie Review: The Promise

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Oscar Isaac, Charlotte Le Bon, Christian Bale

Director: Terry George

Running Time: 134 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Acknowledging Crimes of Humanity Against Humanity

Release Date: April 21, 2017

This February’s Bitter Harvest strove for epic love against the real-life backdrop of the Soviet Ukrainian famine of the 1930’s. The effort to shine a light on an oft-ignored chapter in history was admirable, but the tame dramatization resulted in a less-than-memorable story. The Promise operates by much the same principles of historical examination but ends up with something more compelling, thanks to a more complicated romantic scenario. The setting in this case is especially relevant: the World War I-era systematic extermination of Armenians within the Ottoman Empire, which the Turkey (Ottoman’s successor) to this day refuses to refer to as “genocide.” If shots of fleeing Armenians can stir up empathy for today’s refugees, then The Promise will prove its worth in at least one way.

Furthering the Bitter Harvest comparison, The Promise is the latest in a long line of American-produced historical epics with questionable casting. There are some Armenians and Turks among the supporting cast, but the main players consist of a mix of Guatemalan (Oscar Isaac), Iranian (Shohreh Aghdashloo), and French Canadian (Charlotte Le Bon, although at least in her case she is playing an Armenian raised in Paris). Even the main American is played by a Welsh-Englishman!

I am not systematically opposed to an actor’s ethnicity not matching up with the character, but when a movie is about the attempted destruction of an entire people, and only one of the principal roles is played by a member of that people (Westworld’s Angela Sarafyan), the optics do not look great. Isaac’s accent work is solid, and he brings so much decency to his performance such that his lack of Middle Eastern heritage does not detract from the film’s overall quality. Still, it is worth considering this issue from a business and humanistic standpoint.

The Promise illuminates how emotional and familial well-being are insignificant but also essential in the face of widespread disaster. The synopses I have encountered have billed this as a love triangle, but it is really more of a quadrangle. Armenian villager Mikael (Isaac) moves to Constantinople for medical school, which he can afford thanks to the dowry he receives after agreeing to marry fellow villager Maral (Sarafyan). While in school, he meets and falls in love with Ana (Le Bon). She quite passionately reciprocates his feelings, though she is married to American journalist Chris (Bale).

As war breaks out, the story takes a turn toward labor camps, escapes under cover of night, and attempts to flee the country. The romantic rivals are allies in the greater struggle of exposing the truth and rescuing their loved ones. Isaac conveys the burden and resolve of a man bound by duty that is at odds with his once-in-a-lifetime romance. When he and Bale share the screen, the tension is riveting – you are never sure if they will punch or hug each other. This is the struggle of an existence driven by both emotions and morals. When humanity – both the principle and the population – is threatened with extinction, living right and living passionately still must find a way.

The Promise is Recommended If You Like: Atonement, Titanic, Saving Private Ryan

Grade: 3 out of 5 Sacrifices

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