‘Like a Boss’ Goes Broad When It Could Have Gone Weird

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CREDIT: Paramount Pictures

Starring: Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Coolidge, Billy Porter, Ari Graynor, Natasha Rothwell, Jessica St. Clair, Karan Soni, Jimmy O. Yang, Ryan Hansen

Director: Miguel Arteta

Running Time: 83 Minutes

Rating: R for Totally Open Sexual Discussions Between Close Friends

Release Date: January 10, 2020

In the spirit of being experimental with my movie reviews in 2020, I have decided to review Like a Boss as if someone going to see it thought it were somehow based on the SNL Digital Short of the same name. Now, this might be a little hard to conceive of, because even though there are indeed movies based on SNL sketches, there hasn’t been one in a while, and a two-minute one-off would be an odd candidate for expanding out to feature film length. But after overcoming this initial disappointment (or non-disappointing plain-old realization), this theoretical moviegoer can be comforted by the fact that this movie stars people like Tiffany Haddish and Salma Hayek, who have hosted SNL, and people like Rose Byrne and Billy Porter, who would surely be great SNL hosts if given the chance. On top of that, the movie starts off with a demented sketch comedy-esque sensibility, with bits involving accidentally getting high around an infant and a baby shower cake that features a head crowning out of a vagina and chocolate sprinkles as pubic hair.

Alas, after a rollicking opening ten minutes, Like a Boss settles into a standard issue broad studio comedy groove about Haddish and Byrne as a couple of lifelong friends and business partners struggling with massive debt. There are a few elements that suggest it could have been something a little more offbeat, in particular Hayek’s huge pearly white chompers. There is a bleached-to-perfection, but also slightly degenerate quality to her cosmetics mogul character that someone like John Waters would surely be proud of. It sounds like a solid fit for director Miguel Arteta (who previously directed Hayek to a fantastic performance in the simmeringly toxic Beatriz at Dinner), but the hijinks of the story pull him away from his knack for weirdos puncturing the niceties of the world around them. So in conclusion, if you’re in the mood for the Lonely Island Like a Boss, you’ll probably be even more likely to decry the fact that Business Lady Like a Boss doesn’t allow its comedic imagination to run completely wild.

Like a Boss is Recommended If You Like: Gags about spicy food, Drone-based physical comedy, Makeup tutorials

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Controlling Stakes

Some Quick Thoughts on ‘Pain and Glory’

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CREDIT: Sony Pictures Classics

There are two moments in Pain and Glory that really hit me and made me go, “This! Is! Cinema!” The first comes when an animated sequence accompanies Salvador Mallo (Antonio Banderas) telling us about how he learned about the subjects he should have learned in school by instead experiencing them later in life. Hurray for mixed media! The second is the meta ending, which I don’t want to spoil, in case anyone reading hasn’t seen it, but I do want to talk about it, so I suppose I’ll throw in a SPOILER WARNING. It turns out that the flashback scenes with a young Salvador and Penélope Cruz as his mom are actually a film-within-the-film directed by the adult Salvador, and that is such a lovely framing device. [END SPOILER WARNING] And one more thing! There’s a terrifically funny scene in which Salvador and his leading man Alberto (Asier Etxeandia) skip a post-screening Q&A they were supposed to attend but then phone in and the audience gets to hear the vicious, but also slapstick argument they get into. As is typical of Pedro Almodóvar, Pain and Glory is liable to make you laugh aplenty and go, “What a thing it is to be alive!”

I’ll go ahead and give Pain and Glory 11 Chases out of 15 Dragons.

The 10 Best Movies of the Year and How They Made Me Feel

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PHOTO CREDITS: Courtesy of the Studios

For my ten favorite movies of 2019, I have decided to ascribe each of them an emotion or a way of looking at the world that reflects how they made me feel to my core.

But first! – here are some other movies from the past year that I quite enjoyed that didn’t quite make the top 10:

Apollo 11, Avengers: Endgame, Fighting with My Family, Hail Satan?, Hustlers, Isn’t It Romantic, The Irishman, Little Women, Ma, Making Waves: The Art of Cinematic Sound, The Mustang, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Rocketman, Toy Story 4, The Two Popes

Now for the Top 10 … (Drumroll, if you please)

10. Knives Out: STRAPPED-IN AND ALONG FOR THE RIDE – Here’s a wonderful idea for a murder mystery: give away the answer at the beginning … and then add more surprises along the way!

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Watch And/Or Listen to This: Taylor Janzen’s “What I Do…”

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CREDIT: Taylor Janzen/YouTube Screenshot

The vibe here is early 2000s indie pop rock (think Rilo Kiley) but with a Gen-Z twist.

The 53 Best TV Shows of 2019

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CREDIT (Clockwise from Top Left): Amazon; Disney; Pamela Littky/FOX; Rhys Thomas/IFC

Under the known laws of physics, it is currently impossible to watch every TV show (or even just every good show) airing new episodes in a given year. But for those of us who treat televisual consumption as a transcendent pursuit, we do our best to fit in as many programs as possible, which means that there are more than ten or even twenty shows worth recognizing in an annual best-of list. So this year, I decided to rank as many shows as I thought were worthy of recognition and provide blurbs for the ones where I really needed to say something.

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 1/3/20

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CREDIT: NBC

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
The Grudge (Theatrically Nationwide) – Always doing the horror thing.

TV
-77th Golden Globe Awards (January 5 on NBC) – Awards season is heating up!
Jeopardy: The Greatest of All Time (Premieres January 7 on ABC) – Three great champions (Rutter/Jennings/Holzhauer) face off.
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist Series Premiere (January 7 on NBC) – Jane Levy fandom on full alert!

‘The Grudge’ Just Won’t End, and That’s Fitfully Fascinating

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CREDIT: Allen Fraser/Sony/Screen Gems

Starring: Andrea Riseborough, Demián Bichir, John Cho, Betty Gilpin, Lin Shaye, Jacki Weaver, Frankie Faison, William Sadler

Director: Nicolas Pesce

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: R for Dismemberment, Fire, Drowning, Stabbing, and Gunshot Wounds

Release Date: January 3, 2020

In the spirit of experimentation, I have decided that my first movie review of 2020 will be in the form of an acrostic. The letters I will be using will be those in the title (not including the “the”), that title being The Grudge, the remake of a remake (or perhaps the latest remake of the first version) about the ghostly curse that lingers in a house where an anger-filled murder has occurred. This time, it takes the form of a multi-murder mystery in which those investigating the deaths at 44 Reyburn Drive run the risk of becoming infected by the grudge themselves.

Great cast! I mean, just look at that list. That’s at least half a dozen folks that could carry a horror movie (or any movie) on their own, and here they are together. Do they elevate the material that’s on the page? Yes, and it could use some elevating.

Repeating the formula is the name of the game here, but not the Grudge formula (or not just the Grudge formula). If you’re hankering for a return to J-horror remake glory, chances are you’ve got The Ring on your mind, and so does, it would seem, The Grudge 2020, as Detective Muldoon (Andrea Riseborough) is most concerned about protecting her son from the effects of the curse that she is experiencing.

Upside-down is how you’ll be looking during one particularly grisly moment involving Lin Shaye. It’s also how you’ll be feeling when things turn metaphysical and conversations discuss how supernatural curses go hand-in-hand with time distortion.

Digits (i.e., fingers) get hacked off. In general, writer/director Nicolas Pesce is not shy about bodies becoming pummeled, ripped apart, and decayed. It’s this movie’s most effectively visceral technique.

Generosity, and a fair bit at that, is probably required to give this umpteenth entry in a long-running, occasionally ponderous franchise a chance. An effective atmosphere is met, and frankly, that is a must that must be met in this sort of challenge.

Ending… it looked like it was going to be conclusive, which wouldn’t have been a good fit for the endless hopelessness inherent in this premise. But then there’s a fakeout, and instead of a punch in the gut, you leave with more of a whoosh.

The Grudge is Recommended If You Like: Diving into the infinite reboot loop while allowing some room for hope

Grade: 2.75 out of 5 Hands Popping Out of Hair

2019: A Year at the Movies

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Watching it up on the Big Screen (PHOTO CREDIT: Robert Malone)

I saw a lot of movies in 2019, just like most years. Here are all the movies I saw in the theatre.

(Included with the list of titles are grades, dates, showtimes, theatre locations, and folks I saw the movies with.)

1. Escape Room – B- (1/2, 7:00 PM, Regal Union Square, New York, NY; myself)
2. Girl (2018) – (1/7, 7:00 PM, Light Iron, New York, NY; myself)
3. Perfectos DesconocidosC+ (1/8, 7:30 PM, Cinépolis Chelsea, New York, NY; myself)
4. ArcticB- (1/9, 10:00 AM, Park Avenue Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
5. New Filmmakers Short Film Program (1/9, 6:00 PM, Anthology Archives, New York, NY; myself)
5a. Apophanistal?
5b. Jog
5c. Aperture
5d. A Man, Vanished
6. The Kid Who Would Be King – B- (1/12, 11:00 AM, Regal E-Walk, New York, NY; myself)
7. GlassB+ (1/14, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square, New York, NY; myself)
8. Birds of PassageB (1/16, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
9. The Image BookB- (1/17, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
10. ReplicasB- (1/19, 11:10 AM, E-Walk; myself)
11. A Dog’s Way HomeC+ (1/21, 7:10 PM, Regal Court Street, Brooklyn, NY; myself)
12. The ProdigyC+ (1/24, 10:00 AM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
13. Everybody KnowsB+ (1/29, 6:00 PM, Digital Arts Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
14. Miss BalaB- (1/30, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire, New York, NY; myself)
15. Cold PursuitB (1/31, 3:00 PM, Bryant Park Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
16. Alita: Battle AngelC+ (1/31, 7:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
17. The LEGO Movie 2B+ (2/4, 6:00 PM, WB Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
18. What Men WantC (2/6, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
19. Fighting with My FamilyB+ (2/8, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
20. 2018 Oscar-Nominated Live Action Shorts (2/10, 3:10 PM, Alamo Drafthouse, Brooklyn, NY; myself)
20a. Madre
20b. Fauve
20c. Marguerite
20d. Detainment
20e. Skin
21. Happy Death Day 2UA- (2/11, 6:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
22. Isn’t It RomanticB+ (2/11, 8:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
23. ClimaxC (2/13, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
24. Apollo 11B+ (2/14, 6:00 PM, Tribeca Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
25. 2018 Oscar-Nominated Animated Shorts (2/15, 6:45 PM, BAM Rose Cinemas, Brooklyn, NY; myself)
25a. Bao
25b. Weekends
25c. Late Afternoon
25d. Animal Behaviour
25e. One Small Step
25f. Wishing Box
25g. Tweet-Tweet
26. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden WorldB- (2/19, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
27. GretaB (2/20, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
28. They Shall Not Grow OldB+ (2/23, 6:30 PM, Cinépolis Chelsea; myself)
29. The MustangB+ (2/26, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
30. Captain MarvelB (3/4, 6:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
31. The BrinkC (3/5, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
32. The Hummingbird ProjectC+ (3/7, 10:00 AM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
33. Five Feet Apart – C- (3/12, 7:30 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
34. Hail Satan?B+ (3/14, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
35. Captive StateC+ (3/14, 7:30 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
36. Hotel MumbaiC+ (3/18, 8:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
37. UsA- (3/19, 6:30 PM, AMC Empire; Rob Malone)
38. Non-FictionC+ (3/20, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
39. PeterlooB- (3/21, 5:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
40. DumboB (3/25, 6:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
41. Teen SpiritB (3/26, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
42. Gloria BellB (3/27, 6:45 PM, Alamo Drafthouse Brooklyn; myself)
43. The Beach BumB- (4/1, 7:40 PM, Union Square; myself)
44. Her SmellB (4/2, 10:00 AM, IFC Center, New York, NY; myself)
45. Shazam!B (4/2, 7:00 PM, AMC Loews 34th Street, New York, NY; myself)
46. Pet Sematary (2019) – B- (4/3, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
47. Missing LinkB (4/4, 10:00 AM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
48. LittleC (4/8, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
49. The Man Who Killed QuixoteB (4/10, 7:00 PM, Regal Battery Park, New York, NY; myself)
50. 2019 Tribeca Film Festival: The Place of No WordsB- (4/15, 6:00 PM, Tribeca Screening Room; myself)
51. The Curse of La Llorona – B- (4/17, 7:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
52. Rifftrax Live: Octaman (4/18, 8:00 PM, Court Street; myself)
53. Booksmart – B (4/23, 6:00 PM, Bryant Park Screening Room; myself)
54. Under the Silver Lake – A- (4/28, 7:20 PM, Angelika Film Center, New York, NY; myself)
55. 2019 Tribeca Film Festival: Making Waves: The Art of Cinematic Sound– B+ (4/30, 10:00 AM, Village East Cinema, New York, NY; myself)
56. The Biggest Little Farm – B (4/30, 7:30 PM, Quad Cinema, New York, NY; myself)
57. Tolkien – C (5/1, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
58. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile – C (5/2, 9:15 AM, Village East Cinema; myself)
59. Avengers: EndgameB+ (5/4, 11:00 AM, Regal Oxford Valley, Langhorne, PA; Bob Malone)
60. The Last Black Man in San Francisco – B (5/6, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
61. Detective Pikachu – B (5/7, 7:00 PM, AMC 34th Street; myself)
62. PomsB- (5/8, 6:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
63. The HustleC- (5/8, 8:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
64. John Wick: Chapter 3 – ParabellumC+ (5/9, 7:00 PM, AMC Kips Bay, New York, NY; myself)
65. A Dog’s Journey – C+ (5/14, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
66. Wild RoseB (5/15, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
67. Aladdin (2019) – B (5/20, 6:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
68. BrightburnC+ (5/21, 3:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
69. Rocketman (2019) – B+ (5/22, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; Yasmeen Gholmieh)
70. High Life – B- (5/23, 7:20 PM, Village East Cinema; myself)
71. Ma – B+ (5/28, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
72. Godzilla: King of the Monsters – C- (5/29, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
73. Late Night – C+ (5/30, 6:30 PM, SVA Theater, New York, NY; myself)
74. Dark Phoenix – C (6/3, 6:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
75. Long Shot – B- (6/4, 7:20 PM, Regal Essex Crossing, New York, NY; myself)
76. The Dead Don’t Die – B (6/5, 10:00 AM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
77. Rifftrax Live: Star Raiders (6/6, 7:30 PM, E-Walk; myself)
78. Men in Black: International – C- (6/11, 5:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
79. Shaft (2019) – D+ (6/12, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
80. The Farewell – B (6/19, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
81. Child’s Play (2019) – B- (6/19, 8:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
82. Anna – B- (6/23, 2:15 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
83. Annabelle Comes Home – B- (6/24, 7:00 PM, AMC 34th Street; myself)
84. Midsommar – B (6/25, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
85. Spider-Man: Far From HomeB (6/26, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
86. Toy Story 4 – B+ (6/30, 8:30 PM, Alamo Drafthouse Brooklyn; myself)
87. Brittany Runs a MarathonB- (7/1, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
88. StuberC- (7/2, 6:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
89. The Lion King (2019) – B- (7/10, 1:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
90. Luce – B (7/11, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
91. Aquarela – C+ (7/15, 6:00 PM, Sony Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
92. Crawl – B (7/17, 8:35 PM, Court Street; Rob Malone, Marie Bardi, and Chadd Harbold)
93. Yesterday – C+ (7/20, 8:15 PM, Cinépolis Chelsea; myself)
94. Hobbs & Shaw – B- (7/30, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
95. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood – B+ (7/31, 8:30 PM, BAM Rose Cinemas; Rob Malone)
96. Where’d You Go, BernadetteB- (8/1, 10:00 AM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
97. The Art of Racing in the RainC+ (8/1, 6:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
98. Scary Stories to Tell in the DarkB- (8/10, 8:00 PM, Oxford Valley; Walt Wojcik)
99. Good BoysB- (8/12, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
100. Ready or NotA- (8/13, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
101. Tigers Are Not AfraidB- (8/14, 6:00 PM, Digital Arts; myself)
102. Rifftrax Live: The Giant Spider Invasion (8/15, 8:00 PM, E-Walk; myself)
103. The Nightingale – B (8/21, 7:00 PM, Nitehawk Cinema Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY; myself)
104. Loro – B+ (8/22, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
105. Blinded by the Light – A- (8/25, 4:00 PM, Oxford Valley; Bob Malone)
106. First Love – B (8/28, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
107. The Death of Dick Long – B+ (9/3, 6:00 PM, Technicolor Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
108. IT: Chapter Two – C+ (9/4, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
109. Don’t Let Go – B- (9/5, 6:30 PM, Essex Crossing; myself)
110. Dora and the Lost City of Gold – B- (9/7, 12:40 PM, Essex Crossing; myself)
111. Hustlers – B+ (9/10, 7:00 PM, AMC Linclon Square; myself)
112. Downton Abbey – B (9/12, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
113. The Report – B- (9/18, 6:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
114. Judy – C+ (9/19, 10:00 AM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
115. Ad Astra – B+ (9/22, 2:10 PM, Essex Crossing; myself)
116. Abominable – B- (9/24, 6:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
117. The King – C- (9/25, 7:00 PM, Digital Arts; myself)
118. The Lighthouse – B- (9/27, 1:00 PM, Tribeca Screening Room; myself)
119. Joker – B (10/1, 6:00 PM, Warner Bros. Pictures Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
120. Parasite – A- (10/3, 6:00 PM, Digital Arts; myself)
121. Gemini Man in 120 FPS 2K 3D – C+ (10/7, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
122. Jojo Rabbit – B- (10/14, 7:00 PM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
123. Zombieland: Double TapB- (10/15, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
124. Honey BoyB- (10/17, 6:00 PM, Tribeca Screening Room; myself)
125. Greener Grass – A- (10/20, 3:00 PM, IFC Center; myself)
126. The Current WarC+ (10/21, 10:00 AM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
127. Terminator: Dark FateC+ (10/21, 7:00 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
128. HarrietB- (10/28, 6:00 PM, Bryant Park Screening Room; myself)
129. Motherless Brooklyn – B (10/29, 6:00 PM, Warner Bros. Screening Room; myself)
130. Countdown – C+ (10/31, 7:45 PM, Essex Crossing; myself)
131. Last Christmas – B (11/5, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
132. Doctor Sleep – B (11/6, 7:00 PM, AMC 34th Street; myself)
133. Charlie’s Angels (2019) – C (11/11, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
134. The Good Liar – B (11/12, 7:00 PM, AMC 34th Street; Kaity Malone)
135. Dark Waters – B (11/18, 10:00 AM, Tribeca Screening Room; myself)
136. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood – A- (11/18, 2:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
137. Knives Out – A- (11/20, 7:30 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
138. Queen & Slim – B- (11/21, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square; myself)
139. The Irishman – B+ (11/26, 7:50 PM, IFC Center; myself)
140. Ford v. Ferrari – B- (11/30, 6:15 PM, AMC Neshaminy, Bensalem, PA; Walt Wojcik)
141. Portrait of a Lady on Fire – B+ (12/4, 10:00 AM, Park Avenue Screening Room; myself)
142. Bombshell – B (12/6, 10:00 AM, Bryant Park Screening Room; myself)
143. Richard Jewell – B (12/9, 2:00 PM, Warner Bros. Screening Room; myself)
144. Jumanji: The Next Level – B- (12/9, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; Yasmeen Gholmieh)
145. Uncut Gems – A- (12/11, 6:00 PM, Dolby Screening Room; myself)
146. Spies in Disguise – C (12/12, 6:00 PM, AMC 34th Street; myself)
147. Black Christmas (2019) – C+ (12/15, 2:50 PM, Essex Crossing; myself)
148. Little Women (2019) – B+ (12/16, 7:00 PM, AMC Empire; myself)
149. Cats – C- (12/17, 7:00 PM, The Landmark at 57 West, New York, NY; Rob Malone)
150. 1917 – B- (12/19, 6:30 PM, Village East Cinema; Rob Malone)
151. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker – B (12/20, 5:00 PM, Alamo Drafthouse Brooklyn; Kaity Malone, Rob Malone, and Erin McGill; also 12/31, 4:30 PM, Oxford Valley; Bob and Sue Malone)
152. Frozen IIB- (12/29, 2:00 PM, Neshaminy; Walt Wojcik)

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