Super Bowl commercials are generally available to be watched online ahead of time, but I waited to watch them during the game, like God intended.

1. Paul and Seth for Lay’s: A genuinely surprising and satisfying twist ending.

2. Coinbase QR Code: Is this some sort of subliminal messaging to activate a sleeper cell?

3. Uber Eats Don’t Eats: You gotta hand it to them for commitment.

4. Larry for FTX: I gotta side with Larry here.

5. Mary J. Blige for Hologic: You’ve got a big captive audience, so you might as well deliver a useful message.