SNL: Charli XCX, Oscar Isaac, Aidy Bryant (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

And the Oscar goes to… the 14th episode of the 47th season of Saturday Night Live, as it was hosted by Acting Man Oscar Isaac. And as for the musical guest, well you know it’s Charli XCX. She was originally booked to sing on this season’s partially scuttled Paul Rudd episode, which she at least did appear on in pre-recorded form. Save that one for the history books…

Since my birthday is in a few days, I’ve ordered the sketches in this review in order of how much I would enjoy spending my birthday in the sketches’ settings, from least desirable to most desirable.

Ukrainian Invasion Celebration Spectacular: This sketch may be a party, but it’s not the party for me, though it is somewhat amusing from a distance.

In Over Your Head: I certainly wouldn’t want to spend my birthday working on a DIY project, or recovering from one, or eating an ice cold hot dog.

Paw Patrol: Damn, I wasn’t a fan of Paw Patrol before I saw this sketch, and now that certainly hasn’t changed! Let’s be careful about crafting dystopias for kids. I won’t be moving to Paw Patrol City anytime soon.

Weekend Update: Pauline, Weary Mother in Her Darkest Hour: If I knew a weary pregnant woman personally, I would promise to be there for her, but hopefully her darkest hour wouldn’t happen during my birthday. (For my sake AND hers!)

Inventing Chloe: I’m sure I would enjoy spending a birthday with Chloe Fineman behind the scenes at SNL, but it might get a little scary if she’s pretending to be a famous scam artist the whole time. Maybe I could bail after the first hour or so.

Meatball People: I don’t want to body-shame, so I’ll say that an evening with a person covered in singing meatballs isn’t the worst possible birthday. But I’d probably pick something different if I had my druthers. Specifically, it would involve me singing.

Lynx Pharmaceuticals: This one’s a little tricky. I certainly wouldn’t want to spend my birthday at an office with an overboard HR presentation. But if I knew that it was just a goof, I could sit back and enjoy the show. That’s how you end up on something like The Eric Andre Show, after all.

Fiction Workshop: This one’s similar to Lynx Pharmaceuticals: a little uncomfortable, but certainly entertaining. Maybe I could begin my birthday by listening to a janitor tell his story about Dua Lipa, and then I could go home for the main event.

Weekend Update: Kate McKinnon: It would be fun spending my birthday with Kate McKinnon, even if the topic she’s talking about is “the gayest* law ever.” (*-“Gayest” in the satirically worst sense possible.)

Weekend Update: The Jokes: Spending a day at the Weekend Update desk would kind of be a dream come true for me, and a great birthday present if anyone’s looking for any ideas. It would be a bonus if the anchors also told a few funny jokes, which Michael and Colin did here!

Aidy’s Dream: If my birthday involved Aidy Bryant writing me into a lusty sketch that I could appear in during my birthday, I certainly wouldn’t complain.

Oscar Isaac’s Monologue: I would love to be in the audience on my birthday while Oscar Isaac is talking to the crowd! (Although, preferably not during SNL‘s typical hours, as that’s past my bedtime.) I would also enjoy being on the stage right next to him, or co-starring in the movie he made when he was ten.

Charli XCX, “Beg for You” and “Baby”: I’m a fan of Charli XCX’s music, so heck yeah, I’d enjoy spending my birthday at one of her shows! I’d opt for her first performance over her second from this episode, as I like the bright and peppy “Beg for You” a bit more. And since I gravitate to bright colors, I preferred her white outfit, which looks like a wise choice for a hot day in the desert, as it’s loose and light, but also provides plenty of coverage to protect against the sun. (Although the loose straps in her black number during “Baby” provided a fine accent to her dancing.)

Next week, I’ll be a year older, and thus a year wiser to the comedy stylings of upcoming host Zoë Kravitz and the modern musical routines of Rosalía.