Every Award Everywhere All at Once (CREDIT: Allyson Riggs/A24)

If I were in charge of unilaterally selecting the Oscars, here is who would be selected. Nominees are listed alphabetically, winners in bold.

Best Picture
Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Pearl
Petite Maman
Turning Red

Best Director
Céline Sciamma, Petite Maman
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once
John Rice and Albert Calleros, Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
Domee Shi, Turning Red
Ti West, Pearl

Lead Actress
Cate Blanchett, TÁR
TIE: Mia Goth, Pearl
Florence Pugh, Don’t Worry Darling
Julia Stiles, Orphan: First Kill
TIE: Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Lead Actor
Idris Elba, Three Thousand Years of Longing
Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin
Ralph Fiennes, The Menu
Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin
Daniel Radcliffe, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

Supporting Actress
Jamie Lee Curtis, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Janelle Monáe, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Keke Palmer, Nope
Brittany Snow, X

Supporting Actor
Andre Braugher, She Said
James Hong, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Ashton Kutcher, Vengeance
Justin Long, Barbarian
Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Original Screenplay
Zach Cregger, Barbarian
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Céline Sciamma, Petite Maman
Ti West, Pearl*
Julie Cho and Domee Shi, Turning Red
(*-Pearl would be considered an Adapted Screenplay by Oscar rules, since it’s a prequel to X, but that feels wrong, since they were produced simultaneously, so I’ve placed it in Original.)

Adapted Screenplay
Mike Judge, Lew Morton, Guy Maxtone-Graham, and Ian Maxtone-Graham, Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
Dean Fleischer Camp, Jenny Slate, and Nick Paley, Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
David Coggeshall, Orphan: First Kill
Rebecca Lenkiewicz, She Said
George Miller and Augusta Gore, Three Thousand Years of Longing

Original Score
TIE: Justin Hurwitz, Babylon
Carter Burwell, The Banshees of Inisherin
Tim Despic, Fall
TIE: John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter, and Daniel Davies, Firestarter
Tyler Bates, Pearl

Original Song
“Dosti,” written by Sirivennela Seetharama Sastry and M. M. Keeravaani, RRR
“Naatu Naatu,” written by Kanukuntla Subhash Chandrabose and M. M. Keeravaani, RRR
“Now You Know,” written by “Weird” Al Yankovic, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

Cinematography
Roberto De Angelis, Ambulance
Ben Davis, The Banshees of Inisherin
Larkin Seiple, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Hoyte van Hoytema, Nope
Eliot Rockett, Pearl

Animated Feature
Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
Minions: The Rise of Gru
Turning Red

Costume Design
Shirley Kurata, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Jenny Eagan, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Jenny Beavan, Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
Alex Bovaird, Nope
Malgosia Turzanska, Pearl

Film Editing
Joe Murphy, Barbarian
Phil Davis and Robert James Ashe, Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
Paul Rogers, Everything Everywhere All at Once
Matthew Kosinski, Matthe Probst, and Sascha Stanton-Craven, Jackass Forever
Brett Morgen, Moonage Daydream

Production Design
Barbarian
Don’t Worry Darling
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Nope
Three Thousand Years of Longing

Sound
Ambulance
Babylon
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Nope
Top Gun: Maverick

Visual Effects
Avatar: The Way of Water
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Top Gun: Maverick

Makeup and Hairstyling
The Batman
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Hatching

Documentary Feature
Moonage Daydream

International Feature Film
Decision to Leave
Hatching
Petite Maman*
RRR
(*-Petite Maman came out in France in 2021, but I didn’t see it until its American release in 2022.)

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