This moment will be stapled in my mind forever (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky”1 theme.

Former SNL cast member Kristen Wiig joined the Five-Timers Club last week, and now the next new episode features some returning favorites in the guest lineup, with host Ryan Gosling and musical guest Chris Stapleton. When the April shows were announced, I wondered if this would be a once-in-a-lifetime case of two five-timer inductions two episodes in a row. But in fact, this is only Gosling’s third host outing. (I guess his previous appearances just loom inordinately large in my memory.)

This is also Stapleton’s third time as the musical guest.

Since one of Gosling’s most notable accomplishments in the past year is his performance of the song “I’m Just Ken” in the motion picture Barbie and on the Oscars stage, I will be reviewing each sketch with the format “I’m just…”, in which I proclaim how each segment made me react in stark, forthright terms.

Close Encounter: I’m just… glad that there was some clear character progression.

Ryan Gosling’s Monologue: I’m just… really kinda excited for The Fall Guy.

Engagement Regret: I’m just… appreciative of Andrew’s character for telling the truth.

Get That Boy Back: I’m just… worried that we’re all a little vulnerable to potential gaslighting.

Cabo Grill & Cantina: I’m just… wondering why Beethoven was wearing a brandy barrel.

A.I. Livestream: I’m just… grateful when anyone besides me references Beavis and Butt-Head in this day and age.

Chris Stapleton, “White Horse”: I’m just… pretty sure I’ll have to sing this song at karaoke at some point.

Weekend Update: The Jokes: I’m just… oddly attracted to that rat businesswoman.
Weekend Update: Resident Boyfriend Michael Longfellow: I’m just… aiming for a satisfying amount of competence.
Weekend Update: Caitlin Clark: I’m just… a big fan of comedic comeuppance.

Hospital Waiting Room: I’m just… wondering if Bowen Yang missed his calling in the medical industry.

Chris Stapleton, “Mountains of My Mind”: I’m just… pretty sure I’m going to have re-listen to Chris’ latest album.

Erin Brockovich Deleted Scene: I’m just… pretty sure I need to watch Erin Brockovich ASAP to see if it’s anything like this sketch.

One More Thing: Right before the goodnights, there was a message informing viewers that they could go to SNL‘s YouTube or social channels to watch the Papyrus 2 sketch. Posting cut-for-time segments online is of course nothing new, but this is the first time that I’m aware of that there was a message about on the live episode. And well, I’m just… happy if this ends up becoming a trend.

Looking ahead to the next new episode on May 4, 2024, I have only one thing to say about the host/musical guest: “Dua Lipa dance, make-a Lipa love. Get down tonipe!”