Billboard Hot 20 – Week of April 29, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
3. Kendrick Lamar – “Humble.”
4. Harry Styles – “Sign of the Times”
5. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
6. KYLE ft. Lil Yacthy – “iSpy”
7. Future – “Mask Off”
8. Lil Uzi Vert – “XO TOUR Llif3”
9. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
10. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
11. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”
12. Julia Michaels – “Issues”
13. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
14. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”
15. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
16. James Arthur – “Say You Won’t Let Go”
17. The Weeknd – “I Feel It Coming”
18. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
19. Post Malone ft. Quavo – “Congratulations”
20. Khalid – “Location”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Stay
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Sign of the Times
5. Humble.
6. Location
7. Rockabye
8. Bad and Boujee

SNL Review April 15, 2017: Jimmy Fallon/Harry Styles

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in April 2017.

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Turtle Shirt – Like Bad Idea Jeans, Three-Legged Jeans, and Mom Jeans before it, SNL has debuted a new piece of attire we never knew we needed. This time, it isn’t just a fashion statement, it’s also supremely functional! The Turtle Shirt is perfect for those moments when you need to warp reality.

Jimmy Fallon says “Take Me Back” to Cecily Strong, and the reason why she won’t is a perfectly timely and disturbing twist…While Michael and Colin’s political chops have matured, I think they’re at their best when they’re at their goofiest, so it’s a bonus when their focus on the government is as fierce as it is here…Bruce Chandling does not remember “what it feels like it to be kissed,” but thanks to him, now we know not to kiss the wrong type of chocolate…The Basketball Film Shoot is simply a fantastic example of background physical comedy.

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What Won TV? – April 9-April 15, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday – Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Monday – Better Call Saul
Tuesday – The Mick
Wednesday – Archer
Thursday – Riverdale
Friday – Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Yes, I contributed.)
Saturday – SNL turns down for Turtle Shirts

This Is a Movie Review: The Fate of the Furious

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The last three entries in the Fast & Furious series brought me fully on board the “quarter mile at a time” lifestyle, thanks to their brazenly unrealistic stunts leaving me totally breathless. (The cornball repartee and preternaturally earnest family ethos were nice bonuses.) The Fate of the Furious certainly does not hold back on the go-for-broke extremes, but nothing really reaches any gobsmacking heights. There are too many explosions – fire gets in the way of the awe of flying through the air. At least Ludacris and Tyrese are still on point with whatever they’re nattering on about. They’re practically speaking a new dialect at this point.

I give The Fate of the Furious 6.5 Approvals From the Baby out of 10 Redirected Explosions.

This Is a Movie Review Review: Beauty and the Beast (2017)

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What up with Disney ransacking its vault to remake its own animated hits into (mostly[-ish]) live-action versions? This is not an inherently bad idea. These are stories that have been told over and over (often in fairy tale form) and will continue to be told over and over, so why not spruce them up with some 21st Century Pizzazz?

What does new-flavor Beauty and the Beast offer over the 1991 toon? Belle’s an inventor, but that does not factor in too much. There is an “exclusively gay moment” for Le Fou, but it is so inconsequential that you might need a study guide to locate it (I certainly did). So ultimately, this is about some legends of acting and singing giving it a whirl. Nothing earth-shattering, but we’re in good hands.

I give Beauty and the Beast 3 Rose Petals out of 5 Snowy Days in June.

This Is a Movie Review: The Lost City of Z

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Sienna Miller, Robert Pattinson, Tom Holland

Director: James Gray

Running Time: 140 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Bow and Arrow Violence, and Occasional Gunfire

Release Date: April 14, 2017 (Limited)

The Lost City of Z tells the story of a liberal-minded man’s dilemma. During Percival Fawcett’s (Charlie Hunnam) early 20th century explorations to South America, he becomes convinced of the existence of a mythical city deep within the jungles of the Amazon. His patrons back in England scoff at the idea, both because it is unrealistic but also because they are European white men who believe that their way of doing civilization is the only right way. Fawcett positions himself as an open-minded paragon who recognizes that the native peoples are not savages but in fact have plenty of value to offer the rest of the world. This is not posture. He genuinely believes all that he says – and Hunnam imbues every declaration with the urgency of the end of days – but idealizing a foreign culture introduces its own problems.

Fawcett does not fetishize the Amazonian peoples, but his single-mindedness can be blinding. The film’s structure is partly like that of a Möbius strip, with the end of each South American expedition only serving as a prologue to the next one. Supplies are depleted and conflicts break out within his crew, and then re-stocking and reconciling takes years. And you feel that passage of time, but Fawcett simply must get back. The strain is borne most acutely by his family, especially his wife Nina (Sienna Miller), who pleads to join one of the expeditions. The Fawcetts pride themselves on their equality, but here Percival marks a limit: they are intellectual, but not physical, equals.

Ultimately, this film is a detailed and heavy examination of the dangers of obsession. It turns out (spoiler alert) that Fawcett’s instincts are right, but that vindication is saved for an epilogue. The climax involves Fawcett and his eldest son (Tom Holland) entering the most nightmarish of the expeditions. For the most part, The Lost City of Z avoids mysticism in favor of realism. The cinematography generally focuses on weary faces instead of natural wonders. Thus, this journey is not transcendent until it starts becoming hellish.

The Lost City of Z is Recommended If You Like: Lawrence of Arabia, Apocalypse Now, Impassioned Speeches to Fusty Government Types

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Men Overboard

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of April 22, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
6. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
8. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
9. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
10. Gorillaz ft. Popcaan – “Saturnz Barz”
11. Lord Huron – “The Night We Met”
12. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
13. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
14. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
15. Gorillaz ft. D.R.A.M. – “Andromeda”
16. Bleachers – “Don’t Take the Money”
17. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
18. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
19. alt-J – “In Cold Blood”
20. Papa Roach – “Help”
21. Gorillaz ft. Vince Staples – “Ascension”
22. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
23. blink-182 – “Misery”
24. The Lumineers – “Angela”
25. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. Way Down We Go
3. Heavydirtysoul
4. Feel It Still
5. In Cold Blood
6. Love is Mystical
7. Andromeda
8. Love
9. Saturnz Barz

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of April 22, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Kendrick Lamar – “Humble.”
3. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
4. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
5. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
6. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
7. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
8. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
9. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
10. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
11. Future – “Mask Off”
12. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
13. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Aint’ Me”
14. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”
15. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
16. Lil Uzi Vert – “XO TOUR Llif3”
17. James Arthur – “Say You Won’t Let Go”
18. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
19. Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
20. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Love on the Brain
5. Stay
6. Humble.
7. Rockabye
8. Bad and Boujee

SNL Review April 8, 2017: Louis CK/The Chainsmokers

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in April 2017.

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Sectional Couches – This is what classic sketches are made of. What at first appears to be a simple infomercial parody morphs into so much more as an intricate, multilayered story emerges: elephants gathered for an important reason, Barb from Racine, the fact that the couches are all made on Earth, and then that twist – brava!

At the Soda Shoppe, Louis C.K. plays a fascinatingly creepy soda jerk, and Cecily Strong plays a satisfyingly sneaky budding dominatrix…Cecilia Giminez is back to praise the Cristiano Ronaldo bust, most notably because he looks like he has a fish in his mouth…The ending is a bit on the nose, but Ernie’s Birthday demonstrates that Louis C.K. and Bobby Moynihan are adept at making the best out of an uncomfortable situation…The moral of the Tenement Museum sketch: when in doubt, go full Borat.

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What Won TV? – April 2-April 8, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday –  Feud: Bette and Joan
Monday – Slam dunking the NCAA Championship on home
Tuesday – New Girl (Please give them the green light for Season 7.)
Wednesday – Archer
Thursday – Riverdale
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – So long as Sectional Couches can breathe or eyes can see: Saturday Night Live

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