‘Heretic’ Review: Hugh Grant Wants to Play a Game

November 5, 2024

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Pie! Pie! Pie! (CREDIT: Kimberly French/A24)

Starring: Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, Chloe East, Topher Grace, Elle Young

Directors: Scott Beck and Bryan Woods

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Climatically Bloody Moments

Release Date: November 8, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Not since Elders Price and Cunningham have there been Mormon missionaries more excited to spread the message of the Church of  Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints than Sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East). While knocking on doors one fateful evening, they end up at the residence of Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), who invites them in with promises of blueberry pie and enthusiastic conversation. But soon enough, the young ladies notice warning signs that he might have more sadistic intentions in mind. When they attempt to leave, he assures them that they’re perfectly allowed to do so, but it must be through the back door. Alas, actually getting there involves completing a maze/thought experiment of his devising.

What Made an Impression?: A Flurry of Metaphors: If you’ve always wanted a horror movie that could teach you the history of one of the most popular board games of all time, well then, Heretic has you covered. You see, Mr. Reed is a student of all the world’s religions, and he’s noticed that the history of the major monotheistic faiths is strikingly similar to that of a certain real estate competition. If classic Christianity is Monopoly, then Judaism is its lesser-known forerunner The Landlord’s Game, while Islam is the game for a new era, and Mormonism and all the other more recent offshoots are the wacky spinoffs. It makes a lot of intoxicating sense when Mr. Reed explains. He has a way of summing up this entirely Earthly existence with tidily convincing metaphors. While he has an advisable mix of healthy skepticism and genuine interest when it comes to matters of faith, his intellectual self-assurance is bedeviling.
Not So Naive: Mr. Reed has designed his test so meticulously that Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton are really no match for him. Or so it might seem. As it turns out, they’re nowhere near as clueless as you might expect twentysomethings who grew up in a deeply religious community to be. Thatcher plays Sister Barnes as battle-hardened and a stiff judge of character. Meanwhile, East is an outgoing bundle of friendliness as Sister Paxton, but she knows how the world works. The movie even starts with her talking about a deep philosophical revelation that came to her from watching porn. If anyone could muck up Mr. Reed’s plans and challenge him in ways that are just the least bit unexpected, it’s these two.
How Do You Play the Game?: I can’t endorse Mr. Reed’s methods, but his lesson plans and instinct for metaphor are quite useful. As he points out at one point, either we’re living in a universe run by a god who allows cruel, awful things to happen, and that’s terrifying; or, we live in a godless, totally random universe, and that’s also terrifying. He’s far from the first person to say something like that, but not many others have redesigned their whole house to make this point viscerally clear. Entering Mr. Reed’s domain is a microcosmic confrontation of the existential dilemma that perhaps all human beings grapple with at some point in their lives. Maybe Heretic will help you come up with a satisfying answer for why it’s worth it to keep on keeping on, or maybe it will leave you more racked with doubt than ever. But either way, you’re unlikely to ever forget it.

Heretic is Recommended If You Like: Theology lectures, Saw, Fresh baked goods

Grade: 4 out of 5 Doors

Is ‘Your Monster’ Also My Monster?

October 29, 2024

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You and Your Monster (CREDIT: Vertical Entertainment/Screenshot)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Tommy Dewey, Edmund Donovan, Kayla Foster, Meghann Fahy, Ikechukwu Ufomadu

Director: Caroline Lindy

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 25, 2024 (Theaters)

Would I like to have a monster in my closet, just like Laura Franco (Melissa Barerra) discovers that she does in the new feature film Your Monster? Well, I’m kinda leaning towards the interpretation that the Monster (Tommy Dewey) is a metaphor and that he was really inside Laura all along, so maybe I already do! Honestly, I think that’s the most palatable interpretation, because the Monster is initially pretty rude to Laura in ways that really cross the line, although they eventually certainly soften and warm up to each other. Anyway, they still have some work to do by the end. Speaking of the end, the conclusion is bloody and over-the-top in a way that reminded me of The Substance, although I suppose those aren’t the only two movies that have ever gone for broke.

Grade: 3 Critics Picks out of 5 Jesse Greens

‘Venom: The Last Dance’ Might Have Been Better Off If It Were Just an Hour and a Half of Eddie and Mrs. Chen Dancing

October 23, 2024

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Eddie and Venom horsin’ around. (CREDIT: Sony Pictures)

Starring: Tom Hardy, Juno Temple, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Rhys Ifans, Peggy Lu, Alanna Ubach, Stephen Graham, Andy Serkis, Clark Backo, Cristo Fernandez

Director: Kelly Marcel

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Aliens Eating Humans and a Couple of F-Bombs

Release Date: October 25, 2024 (Theater)

What’s It About?: Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) and his alien symbiote soulmate have been laying low after their last Venom-ous adventure. But then it turns out that Eddie’s one of the most wanted men in America (or at least the Bay Area), and also some guy named Knull (Andy Serkis) who’s the master of all symbiotes is on an intergalactic trek to regain control of Venom and his ilk. So they head out for safer pastures, eventually making their way to Nevada, where they converge with a group of science and military types looking to exploit symbiote technology for their own purposes, as well as Knull’s beastly minions and an extraterrestrial-obsessed family excited about the recent declassification of Area 51.

What Made an Impression?: Science vs. Soldiers vs. Power vs. True Love: At the core of the Venom film trilogy is the unlikely, occasionally destructive, but ultimately mutually beneficial relationship between a broken man and a needy extraterrestrial creature. The Last Dance theoretically could just be about Eddie Brock walking across the desert while talking to the chaotic being living inside him, but their interpersonal tension has mostly been resolved over the course of the two films. So instead there are a few external conflicts that criss-cross with each other, though they all struggle to get their narrative fill. Juno Temple plays Dr. Teddy Payne, the Avatar of Science who wants to keep dangerous aliens alive for the sake of science; while Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Rex Strickland, the Symbol of Law & Order who wants to arrest Eddie and keeps yelling at Dr. Payne about all the men he keeps losing in the line of duty. Meanwhile, Rhys Ifans is the UFO-loving, Hippie Wild Card who throws a kumbaya wrench into the whole proceedings. Ultimately, all of these opposing factions eventually realize that they need to team up to defeat the power-mad Knull, which results in a kinetically conclusive set piece, though the characterization that gets us to that point is a little thin and petty.
Aliens Are Always Bugging Out: How long has it been since insects have become the go-to design inspiration for big screen extraterrestrials? The xenomorphs of Alien are perhaps the proto-example, While the bugs of Starship Troopers were obviously a big deal in 1997. But it’s probably only been in the past decade or so that it’s become frustratingly de rigueur. The Last Dance continues this trend in the form of the creatures that are hunting down Venom and the other symbiotes, although there are some hints of creativity trying to break out. They’re basically giant, apparently indestructible, pointy-legged arachnids that can shoot out supersonic bursts (a weakness of the symbiotes). It sounds like it could be kind of cool in theory, but in practice, it’s just a chaotic swarm of fiery bursts and barely coherent screaming. And that’s The Last Dance in microcosm: there’s genuine personality scattered about, but it’s stuck in an inelegant mess. The desire to have fun is there, but it can’t quite hit it into overdrive.

Venom: The Last Dance is Recommended If You: Keep Your Own Personal Index of Every Single Marvel Comics Symbiote

Grade: 2 out of 5 Codices

‘Conclave’ Conjures Up a Thrilling Search for a New Pope

October 22, 2024

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Looking for a Pope (CREDIT: Focus Features. © 2024 All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow, Sergio Castellitto, Isabella Rossellini, Lucian Msamati, Carlos Diehz, Brian F. O’Bryne, Merab Ninidze, Thomas Loibl, Jacek Koman, Loris Loddi

Director: Edward Berger

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Smoking

Release Date: October 25, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: When it’s time for the Catholic Church to pick a new pope, the process is performed in secret by the highest-ranking members of the church hierarchy. Conclave doesn’t have any real footage to lift that veil, but it is bold enough to wonder: what if that deliberation went a little something… like this? Leading the titular conclave is Cardinal Thomas Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes), who quickly finds himself wrangling diametrically opposed ideological factions and navigating a series of scandalous secrets that the deceased pontiff was apparently trying to uncover. Meanwhile, as the votes to elect the new pope fail to meet the majority thresholds, various contenders emerge and fall, potentially leading the church onto a path it has never trod before.

What Made an Impression?: Where Does the Church Go From Here?: As a born-and-bred, still-practicing Catholic, I appreciated immediately that Conclave understands how the Church membership is far from a monolith. That’s represented in microcosm by the cardinals, with the liberal wing represented by Lawrence, Stanley Tucci’s Cardinale Bellini, and John Lithgow’s Cardinal Tremblay; and the conservative flank led by Sergio Castellito’s Cardinal Tedesco. It definitely seems that Peter Straughan’s script (based on the novel of the same name by Robert Harris) is more sympathetic to the progressive side, but it’s clear that whomever is elected will be leading a worldwide congregation filled with various, difficult-to-reconcile ideas about how the church should exist in the 21st century. Efforts to bridge the gap within the conclave are not exactly satisfying; for one thing, the progressives consider compromising by supporting the most popular African cardinal (Lucian Msamati), but he’s even more socially conservative than Tedesco. Furthermore, it’s made consistently clear that none of these men are infallible, despite the immaculate position they’re in the running for. A passion for justice and unity does not shield one from the temptations of power, after all.
A Sin to Fear Above All Others: If you’re a fan of deeply experienced thespians talking about big ideas that could possibly change the course of history, then Conclave has you covered as much as its cast list would suggest. Even if the final vote had been dramatically inert, this movie still would have had its pleasures. But the conclusion is not dramatically inert. Far from it, in fact, thanks to some admirable philosophical convictions (as well as a revelatory performance from Carlos Diehz, an actor I’ve never heard of before with a very thin IMDb). If there’s one thing that this movie comes out unmistakably against, it is Certainty. Indeed, in a tradition that places supremely high value on mystery and faith, certainty is not only foolish, but dangerous. And I would argue that you don’t have to be religious to understand that healthy skepticism is preferable to being absolutely sure about absolutely everything. In that vein, if you can keep an open mind, there’s plenty to appreciate, and maybe even love, about the mysterious wonders of Conclave.

Conclave is Recommended If You Like: The Second Vatican Council

Grade: 4 out of 5 Cardinals

Getting Everything I Have to Say About ‘Terrifier 3’ Off My Chest

October 19, 2024

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Art-ful Horror (CREDIT: Cineverse/Screenshot)

Starring: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Elliott Fullam, Samantha Scaffidi, Margaret Anne Florence, Bryce Johnson, Antonella Rose, Mason Mecartea, Alexa Blair Robertson

Director: Damien Leone

Running Time: 125 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: October 11, 2024 (Theaters)

David Howard Thornton is a really great mime…

 

And that’s the entirety of my Terrifier 3 review!!!

Grade: 33 Clown Gags out of 55 Interdimensional Terrors

Michael Keaton is Both Good and Morally Rich as the Title Character of ‘Goodrich’

October 17, 2024

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Good ‘n’ Rich (CREDIT: Ketchup Entertainment)

Starring: Michael Keaton, Mila Kunis, Carmen Ejogo, Michael Urie, Kevin Pollak, Vivien Lyra Blair, Jacob Kopera, Nico Hiraga, Danny Deferrari, Laura Benanti, Andie MacDowell, Poorna Jagannathan

Director: Hallie Meyers-Shyer

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Gently Explicit Profanity

Release Date: October 18, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Andy Goodrich (Michael Keaton) wakes up one day to discover that his wife (Laura Benanti) is in rehab and that she’s leaving him. And he simply cannot believe it! He had absolutely no idea that she was struggling with prescription pills, and he didn’t pick up on any signs that he was drifting apart. So he uses this moment as a wake-up call to be a more mindful father to his nine-year-old twins Billie (Vivien Lyra Blair) and Mose (Jacob Kopera), as well as his pregnant adult daughter Grace (Mila Kunis). Meanwhile, he’s also trying to keep his struggling art gallery afloat by convincing the jazz musician daughter (Carmen Ejogo) of a recently deceased artist to let him exhibit her mom’s works.

What Made an Impression?: Is He a Bad Dad?: Writer-director Hallie Meyers-Shyer needs us to take a lot on faith in the setup of her second feature (after 2017’s Home Again). Because here’s the deal: based on what we actually see of him, Goodrich is a pretty dutiful dad. It’s reasonable to infer that he wasn’t always this attentive, as Blair, Kopera, and Kunis’s performances are weighed down by years and years of frustration. But even the picture that they paint doesn’t sound all that bad. Sure, he often works late and is kind of clueless, but he’s clearly making an effort to be available to the people who are important to him. You can’t tell me that he figured all that out in one day! But putting that straining of credulity aside, Meyers-Shyer has not bungled into a formula for disaster. Far from it, in fact. It’s a pleasure to watch Keaton play a guy who takes the extra step to do the right thing, especially when that entails obliviously but enthusiastically attending a feminist-themed performance space.
The Kids Are All Right: One of the reasons that Andy doesn’t struggle to be a better dad is undoubtedly because his kids are just a delight to hang out with. Billie sets the tone early on when she announces, “If you don’t want me to talk like I’m from L.A., don’t raise me in L.A.” If that line sounds too precociously showbiz-y for you, then why are you even watching this movie? Honestly, a good chunk of the script is catnip for anyone who’s ever worked as an entertainment journalism professional. At one point, someone even declares, “You’re the Senior Entertainment Writer!” Maybe I’m making this sound a bit too niche for a general audience, but let me amend by saying that I suspect that its charms are fairly accessible. It’s grounded by the story of a family of intuitive folks who like to hash things out with each other through vulnerable conversations, and that’s pretty relatable and engaging.

Goodrich is Recommended If You Like: One-Season SNL Cast Members, Wacky open-mindedness regarding sexual orientation, Classic Michael Urie Neuroticism

Grade: 3 out of 5 Galleries

‘Smile 2’ Repeats the Hits While Also Going on Hallucinatory Overdrive

October 16, 2024

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TFW you’re not smiling… (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Naomi Scott, Rosemarie DeWitt, Lukas Gage, Miles Gutierrez-Riley, Peter Jacobson, Ray Nicholson, Dylan Gelula, Raúl Castillo, Kyle Gallner, and Drew Barrymore as Herself

Director: Parker Finn

Running Time: 127 Minutes

Rating: R for Disturbingly Creative Self-Mutilation, Some White Powder, and a Lot of F-Bombs

Release Date: October 18, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The cursed entity from the first Smile is back at it again! Its latest victim is pop star Skye Riley (Naomi Scott), who’s about to embark on a world tour one year after being seriously injured in a car accident that killed a dear friend. She’s mostly recovered, but she still has some gnarly scars and terrible back pain. Alas, nobody will prescribe her anything stronger than over-the-counter painkillers, thanks to her history of substance abuse. So she turns to an old classmate (Lukas Gage) for some Vicodin, but as luck would have it, he’s under the sway of the Smile Demon, and his sudden graphic demise passes it onto her. Soon enough, she’s seeing the creepy upturned lips among her fans, handlers, and most traumatic memories. Her demise feels as inevitable as that of everyone else who’s been infected, although a mysterious stranger might have some ideas about how to break the curse.

What Made an Impression?: Curses Are Gross: When I looked up my take on the original Smile, I recalled how frustrating I found that initial go-round due to the profound inability of the main characters to fight against the evil. With Parker Finn returning as writer and director, the sequel doesn’t do much to deviate from the already well-established formula. Like Sosie Bacon’s overworked therapist in the original, Skye is too psychologically vulnerable to fight back in any meaningful way (although the dynamism of a showbiz career does allow for a little more chaos). But a shot in the arm to mix things up does arrive in the form of Dylan Gelula as Skye’s estranged best friend Gemma. Ever since her breakout performance on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, she’s been a reliable avatar of disaffected youth, which allows her to convincingly react to the horrors that Skye is going through with lines like, “Ew, oh my god, what?” Sometimes evil just needs to be called out for being lame and disgusting.
Symphony of Blood: Horror movies can be satisfying whether or not the monster is defeated at the end. But it’s hard to remain engaged if evil’s triumph feels inevitable. Smile 2 proposes a solution that could potentially end the Smile Demon, though it also resorts to a series of fakeouts that dash any sense of hope. That’s not exactly a problem, as the hallucinations are consistently tantalizing. On the other hand, at a certain point you can’t help but wonder: is anything that Skye experiences after being possessed real in any way? While it might be nice to have a little more clarity on that point, Finn papers over that concern with a more playful and daring approach than he utilized before, with disorienting upside-down cityscape shots and a bravura final set piece that may not conclude every plot point but does wrap things up emotionally with quite a bit of finesse. He’s an orchestra conductor directing his mayhem with devilishly perfected timing. The final note will leave you screaming, in pain and/or excitement, about the possibility of this story never ending.

Smile 2 is Recommended If You Liked: The First Smile But Thought It Should’ve Been More Like Beyond the Lights

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Donut Weights

‘Joker: Folie à Deux’ … or Deuxn’t?

October 15, 2024

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What a joke! (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson, Catherine Keener, Harry Lawtey, Bill Smitrovich, Zazie Beetz, Steve Coogan, Leigh Gill, Ken Leung, Jacob Lofland, Sharon Washington

Director: Todd Phillips

Running Time: 138 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 4, 2024 (Theaters)

Whenever they weren’t singing in Joker: Folie à Deux, I thought, “Why aren’t they singing?” And even when they were singing in Joker: Folie à Deux, I often thought, “Why aren’t they singing… more?” Occasionally, they were putting the right amount of emphasis on the Crooning & Hoofing.

The cartoon at the beginning was pretty good. Maybe they should’ve just done that the whole way through. Or if the animation just had to be a one-off lark, perhaps they could’ve at least behaved cartoonishly.

It was all so dour.

Grade: 77 Jokes out of 0 Punchlines

‘Anora’ Review: When an American Stripper and a Russian Heir Hook Up, It’s a Full-Blown International Crisis!

October 15, 2024

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Ani, are you okay? (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Mikey Madison, Mark Eydelshteyn, Yura Borisov, Karren Karaguilan, Vache Tovmasyan, Aleksei Serebryakov, Darya Ekamasova

Director: Sean Baker

Running Time: 139 Minutes

Rating: R for Stripping, Partying, Shtupping, and Maybe a Concussion or Two

Release Date: October 18, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Multilingualism is a skill that can help you get ahead in the workplace, but can also be taken advantage of for somewhat questionable purposes. Mikey Madison learns that the hard way as the title character of Anora, a loopy and tragic farce about a not-exactly-promising romance. Ani is a Brooklyn-born stripper who can speak Russian and does some high-end escorting on the side, which is how she hooks up with Vanya (Mark Eydelshteyn), a bratty Russian heir who’s looking to have some fun with a nice lady in between all the video games he plays at his mansion. Their dalliance leads to an impromptu wedding in Vegas, and just as it looks like Ani and Vanya can beat the odds, word gets back to his parents, who don’t exactly approve of what their boy has been up to. So then a group of handlers suddenly show up to rectify the situation, leading to an all-night odyssey through seemingly every Russian-speaking corner of the borough to settle this matter once and for all.

What Made an Impression?: Always an Adventure!: Perhaps you’ve heard the slogan “sex work is work,” which is generally meant to restore humanity and remove the stigma from a group of people who are often shamed and ostracized. The idea is to emphasize that everyone, no matter what they do for money, is just trying to get by like everyone else. But in the films of Sean Baker, the emphasis is more about how a sex worker’s life can be just as ridiculous as anybody else’s. Anora slots right into his typical m.o. with what is essentially Pretty Woman by way of the Coen brothers. It’s basically an increasingly absurd comedy of errors in which nobody really has any idea what they’re doing. At times, the chaos threatens to become so over-the-top that you might start to wonder if the Russian goons will have to fight Ron Burgundy and the rest of the Channel 4 News Team with fire and pitchforks.
The Promise of the Real: But as loopy as Anora is, it remains fastened to the rails of realism thanks to a series of performances that give off vibes like “Won’t you just let me do my job?” or “Can’t you just let me love who I love?” or “Won’t you just let me be me?” Madison anchors it all in what the entire world simply must accept is a star-making turn. If you’ve been anxiously awaiting for something like this after seeing her shine for five seasons as the oldest daughter on the FX sitcom Better Things, then your prayers have been answered. All of the supporting performers around her slot in with the appropriate amounts of cuckoo, unhinged, and/or harried. And WATCH OUT when Aleksei Serebryakov and Darya Ekamasova show up as Vanya’s mom and dad; if you only encounter one cinematic pair of disapproving Russian parents this year, you could do much worse than Nikolai and Galina. And keep a close eye on Yura Borisov, whose henchman character will keep you guessing. That brings me to another classic mark of a Sean Baker movie: it features plenty of interesting people.

Anora is Recommended If You Like: The vicarious thrill of watching other people getting up to misadventures while staying up all night

Grade: 4 out of 5 Annulments

‘Frankie Freako,’ ‘A Different Man,’ and ‘Megalopolis’ Walk Into a Bar (Except That the Bar is Three Different Movie Theaters)

October 10, 2024

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A Trio of Movie Stars (CREDIT: Shout! Studios/Screenshot; Matt Infante/A24; Lionsgate)

Frankie Freako

Starring: Conor Sweeney, Kristy Wordsworth, Matthew Kennedy, Meredith Sweeney, Adam Brooks, Rich Evans

Director: Steven Kostanski

Running Time: 85 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: October 7, 2024 (Theaters)

A Different Man

Starring: Sebastian Stan, Renate Reinsve, Adam Pearson

Director: Aaron Schimberg

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 20, 2024 (Theaters)

Megalopolis

Starring: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Nathalie Emmanuel, Aubrey Plaza, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Laurence Fishburne, Jason Schwartzman, Kathryn Hunter, Dustin Hoffman, Talia Shire, Grace VanDerWaal, Chloe Fineman, James Remar, D.B. Sweeney

Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Running Time: 138 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 27, 2024 (Theaters)

Hey dudes! I saw a few movies this week that I’m catching up on my thoughts about. Did they have any themes or intellectual concerns in common? Let’s take a closer look and find out.

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