This Is a Movie Review: Never Goin’ Back

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I give Never Goin’ Back 3 out of 5 Beer-Soaked Waitress Uniforms:

This Is a Movie Review: Brigsby Bear

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I give Brigsby Bear 4 out of 5 Giant Costume Heads:

This Is a Movie Review: Zoolander 2

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The first Zoolander worked as satire because it was about an industry desperately holding onto its relevance (with the existence of said relevance questionable in the first place) and the bobos who represented that last grasp. There is nothing inherently wrong with a sequel premiering a decade after the original, but it is always a challenge, especially so in the case of Zoolander 2. Its setting is so far removed from a natural one in that the setup necessary to get everyone where they need to be is convoluted and exhausting. The sweat comes from effort, not embarrassment.

The film comes to life when it focuses on the here and now. Hot designer Don Atari (Kyle Mooney) is where the real story is at. Fashion – or any industry in 2016 driven entirely by trends – keeps dying and rebirthing and eating itself. Mooney plays Atari as 100% ironically hipster and 100% earnestly enthusiastic, expressing his admiration for Derek and Hansel by simultaneously praising and dismissing them. It is infuriating and intoxicating. This paradoxical approach is scary, but it is how films as broad as the Zoolander’s need to distinguish themselves (see also: Fred Armisen’s face digitally transposed onto a pre-teen’s body).

SNL Recap February 13, 2016: Melissa McCarthy/Kanye West

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My full review can be found on Starpulse:

I Can’t Make You Love Me – B

Melissa McCarthy’s Monologue – B-

The Day Beyoncé Turned Black – C+

The Cul-De-Sac Test Screening – B-

Movie Night – B

Kanye West featuring Young Thug, The-Dream, Kelly Price, and El Debarge – “High Lights” – B

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B
Rachel from Friends – B-
Von Miller – C
Leslie Jones – C+

The Art of the Pickup – B

Rap Battle (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – A-

Bus Ride – B-

Kanye West featuring The-Dream, Kelly Price, Chance the Rapper, and Kirk Franklin – “Ultra Light Beams” – B

Whiskers R We – B-

SNL Recap March 28, 2015: Dwayne Johnson/George Ezra

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My full review of this episode can be found on Starpulse:

“If you don’t have a boner right now, you should just kill yourself.”

The Rock Obama – B

Dwayne Johnson’s Monologue – B

Pep Boys – B+

Wrestlemania Promo – B+

Bambi – A-

Anniversary Dinner (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – A-

Escape From Jungle Island – B

Brogaine – B+

George Ezra – “Budapest” – B-

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B-
Olya Povlatsky – B
Willy – B

Cooking with Paul – C

Robert Durst Improv – B-

George Ezra – “Blame it on Me” – B-

Interrogation – C+

The Circus with Kyle – A-

SNL Recap March 7, 2015: Chris Hemsworth/Zac Brown Band

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My full review of this episode can be found on Starpulse:

A Message From Hillary Clinton – B

Chris Hemsworth’s Monologue – C-

American Express – C+

Brother 2 Brother – C+

Empire – C+

S.S. Orion – C+

The Iggy Azalea Show – C+

Zac Brown Band – “Homegrown” – B+

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B
Leslie Jones – C+
The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party – B

Action News 7 Special Report – C-

Love Ain’t Fair – C+

So you think you can Live with Brian? (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – A-

Zac Brown Band ft. Chris Cornell – “Heavy is the Head” – B+

Dolce & Gabbana – B