Give Your Green Light to ‘Will & Harper’

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W&H (CREDIT: Netflix)

Starring: Will Ferrell, Harper Steele

Director: Josh Greenbaum

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 13, 2024 (Theaters)/September 27, 2024 (Netflix)

Will & Harper is basically the perfect film for my silly little habit of asking some variation of the question, “Would I like to be a part of what this movie is all about?” Because the answer is an unequivocal “Yes!”

The titular “Will” is Will Ferrell, one of my favorite Funny People on Planet Earth, while the titular “Harper” is Harper Steele, a former Saturday Night Live writer who often teamed up with Will during their time together at Studio 8H. And Will & Harper is about the cross-country* road trip they go on together in the wake of the latter’s gender transition as a trans woman (*-that country being the United States).

It would’ve just been grand if I could’ve been there right alongside them, even if just for a minute. What if they had serendipitously dropped into a Dunkin’ Donuts in my neighborhood? It could’ve happened! Maybe it still could! But at least I was able to watch this doc and experience their adventure vicariously, which is the next best thing.

Grade: 55 Pringles out of 69 Natty Lights

‘Never Let Go’ Could Have Had a Firmer Grip

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Pictured: The Characters in This Movie Not Letting Go (CREDIT: Lionsgate)

Starring: Halle Berry, Percy Daggs IV, Anthony B. Jenkins

Director: Alexandre Aja

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for The Forest at Its Gnarliest and Bloodiest

Release Date: September 20, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: In a cabin deep in the woods live the last three people on Earth, and their trusty dog. Or at least that’s the story that the mother (Halle Berry) tells her twin sons Nolan (Percy Daggs IV) and Sammul (Anthony B. Jenkins). According to Momma, it’s not that the entire human population has died, but rather that everyone has been possessed by a vague, unrelenting Evil. Momma and the boys are only able to survive because their cabin has been specially blessed. So whenever they venture outside, they tie themselves to a rope tethered to the house, as breaking free would leave them vulnerable to the grasp of the Evil. But when their living supplies run low, they’re forced to resort to desperate measures to survive. And that is NOT a formula for maintaining trust in each other.

What Made an Impression?: Extreme Experiences, Extreme Measures: The most logical explanation about the Evil of Never Let Go is that it’s all in Momma’s head, perhaps due to mental illness or apocalyptic religious beliefs, or some combination thereof. Kevin Coughlin and Ryan Grassby’s script and Alexandre Aja’s direction certainly nudges us in that direction. There are some generally creepy humanoid creatures with slithery forked tongues, but only Momma is able to see them, for the most part. She may have also just constructed a fable to protect her family from the more quotidian evils of the world, as she frequently hints about the bad life she escaped from before The Evil. That sounds like a reference to something like addiction and/or abusive relationships, although the way she tells it, it could just be that she moved to a big city and found it to be too godless for her sensibilities.
Ambiguity Overload: That vagueness within Momma’s backstory is infused throughout the entire movie. While the most logical explanation is never not that the Evil is all just in Momma’s head, this is a horror movie, so there’s no good reason why there couldn’t be a supernatural alternative. But whenever there’s evidence refuting Momma’s version of events, she doesn’t offer any compelling reason to believe beyond “That’s just the Evil playing tricks on you.” The final act muddies things quite a bit, though. Nolan, the more doubtful of the two brothers, is a defiant survivor, whereas Sammul appears to be quite vulnerable to possession, although perhaps that’s because he’s inherited some of his mother’s most catastrophic personality traits. The final moments appear to confirm that the Evil is in fact just a story, only to then linger in a way that says, “Actually maybe it is real.”
Ultimately, Never Let Go is compelling as a portrait of what it’s like to have a parent who insists that you need to escape from society without sufficient empirical evidence for why. And there’s something to be said for horror that keeps things unnervingly vague. But this one might have been a bit too vague. If you’re like me, you’ll hold on to the rope while you’re watching, but you’ll be happy to let go soon thereafter.

Never Let Go is Recommended If You Like: Dusty boots and jackets, Eating tree bark, Holding on to one prized vinyl record

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Ropes

It Used to Be That I’d Never Seen ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’ Before in My Life. Or Afterlife. But Now That’s Changed!

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Beetlejuice being Beetlejuicy (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jenna Ortega, Justin Theroux, Monica Bellucci, Willem Dafoe, Arthur Conti, Burn Gorman

Director: Tim Burton

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: September 6, 2024 (Theaters)

After seeing Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, it made me want to:

  1. Figure out who Tess Parks is.
  2. Go Full Falsetto and perform “Tragedy” at karaoke.
  3. Wonder anew how and why so much of a song can be focused on a soggy cake.

Now, just because you’ve got an inspiring soundtrack, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got a satisfyingly well-rounded movie. But I enjoyed most of the non-musical elements of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice as well! Thank you, 2024.

Grade: I Like-a the ‘juice

Origin Story ‘Transformers One’ Takes It Back to Cybertron

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One is the loneliest Transformer that you’ll ever do! (CREDIT: Paramount Animation/Hasbro)

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Brian Tyree Henry, Scarlett Johansson, Keegan-Michael Key,  Steve Buscemi, Laurence Fishburne, Jon Hamm

Director: Josh Cooley

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG for Robot Dismemberment

Release Date: September 20, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: If you’re concerned that most Transformers movies have too many pesky dang humans, then have I got the movie for you! Well, actually, it’s Paramount and Hasbro who have the movie for you, I’m just here to let you know about it. It’s an animated flick called Transformers One, and it takes place entirely on the robots’ home planet of Cybertron, and it doesn’t follow any of the Autobots and Decepticons that we’ve come to know and love over the years… or does it? A couple of bots named Orion Pax (Chris Hemsworth) and D-16 (Bryan Tyree Henry) are stuck underground working the mines day after day, but they have a hankering to discover what’s really happening on the planet’s surface. They eventually make their way up there along with a scamp named B-127 (Keegan-Michael Key) and a steady hand named Elita (Scarlett Johansson), as they uncover a conspiracy and fight to realize a new path forward for Cybertron.

What Made an Impression?: Vroom Vroom: Before Orion and D-16 emerge onto the surface, they first try to make a name for themselves by sneaking their way into the IACON 5000, which appears to be the most popular racing event in all of Cybertron. Perhaps devoted Transformers fans already know all about the IACON, but for the uninitiated, it’s basically the Indianapolis 500 crossed with the colorful loop-de-loop energy of Mario Kart. I wasn’t expecting this moment out of a Transformers movie, but quite frankly, it was a breath of fresh air compared to the typical metal-on-metal action. After this particular set piece, the plot becomes a fairly typical hero’s journey that’s easy enough to follow despite all the Cybertronic jargon. I would have personally preferred the fish-out-of-water sizzle typical of the live action Transformers flicks, but if we must stick with only the metal creatures the whole way through, then at least the IACON 5000 offers a nice change of pace.
Before They Were Stars: Transformers One plays things a little coy, but if you’ve encountered any major Transformers property in the past few decades, then you should be able to figure out without too much trouble the actual identities of the most iconic main characters. It’s a little disorienting that longtime Optimus Prime voice Peter Cullen is nowhere to be heard, but I appreciate the efforts at differentiation. There’s something to be said about these guys sounding a little different before they became universally renowned heroes and villains, after all. With this throwback approach, T One gave me similar reboot-ish vibes as another recent animated flick about non-human warriors released by Paramount. That earlier release also set up a new TV show, and I wouldn’t be surprised if similar plans are in place for a new Cybertron-set series. I wasn’t quite thrilled enough by T One to be excited about that possibility, though. But I imagine there are enough fans (or potential fans) of this property that there could be something viable there. So in conclusion, Transformers One is most successful as an inoffensive brand extension.

Transformers One is Recommended If You Like: A glitzy voice cast, Macguffin-filled dialogue, The neologism “Badassitron”

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Matrices

‘Speak No Evil’ Lures You Into Its Trap and Doesn’t Let Go

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Three Characters Trying Not to Speak Any Evil (CREDIT: Susie Allnutt/Universal Pictures and Blumhouse)

Starring: James McAvoy, Mackenzie Davis, Aisling Franciosi, Scoot McNairy, Alix West Lefler, Dan Hough

Director: James Watkins

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Violence, Disturbing Behavior, and a Little Bit of Innuendo

Release Date: September 13, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Americans Louise and Ben Dalton (Mackenzie Davis and Scoot McNairy) are feeling a little adrift ever since moving to London with their 11-year-old daughter Agnes (Alix West Lefler). While on vacation in Italy, they forge a bit of a connection with British couple Paddy and Ciara (James McAvoy and Aisling Franciosi), whose son Ant (Dan Hough) has trouble speaking because he’s missing part of his tongue. Paddy and Ciara are friendly, if perhaps a smidge too forward. But Louise and Ben are vulnerable enough to be won over by their sway, and it also helps that the chronically anxious Agnes opens up when she’s around Ant. So the Daltons soon find themselves guests at Paddy and Ciara’s remote countryside estate, but this idyllic retreat gradually becomes more and more suspicious. Forgivable faux pas like Paddy feeding the vegetarian Louise the first bite of the prized cooked goose quickly give way to more frightening secrets, like Ant revealing his bruises to Agnes. Louise wants to vamoose at pretty much the first warning sign, and it’s not long before Ben and Agnes are feeling the same.

What Made an Impression?: We Don’t Know the Half of It: You might think you know exactly what is going to happen in Speak No Evil. It has the sort of trailer that appears to give away the entire plot, plus it’s a remake of a Danish film that came out just a couple years ago. I haven’t seen the original, but I have watched the trailer, and there are some key moments that are remixed this time around. I guessed the major third act reveal based on the previews, and I’m sure I won’t be the only one. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Every inch and crevice of McAvoy, Franciosi, and Hough’s performances scream “Something’s not right here!” As the thorough depravity of Paddy and Ciara’s designs are brought into the open, it’s riveting, profoundly alarming, and breathtaking.
Bonding Through Trauma: A shared stressful experience, if handled sufficiently, can deepen the bond of a relationship. And well, Louise and Ben could sure use some relationship strengthening. They’re reeling from a minor case of infidelity, as well as resentment from Louise putting her career on hold for Ben’s sake, plus just general feelings of existential instability. So perhaps it was fated that they would run into Paddy and Ciara, who kind of fancy themselves as amateur therapists. In a more good-natured movie, the Daltons would probably be eternally grateful for their intervention, but in truth, they’re profound manipulators. Nevertheless, the ultimate effect is the same, as Louise and Ben manage to find their way back to each other through this terrifying gauntlet.
Resourcefulness is Key: Isn’t it so satisfying to watch movie characters be resourceful? (I have to tip my hat to Kyle Buchanan for elucidating this observation during a recent guest appearance on the Blank Check podcast.) The Daltons don’t appear to have ever been trapped in a situation as disorienting as this one, but it’s immediately clear that they’ll just have to figure it out if they’re going to survive. I for one couldn’t peel my eyes away from their efforts, as evidenced by the fact that I didn’t write a single thing down in my notebook for the entire 110 minutes. Often when thriller protagonists are captivatingly resourceful, it’s clear what experience they’re drawing from, even if their backstories are merely hinted at. In the case of Speak No Evil, that’s a little less true. In fact, it’s a running theme how ineffective Louise and especially Ben feel in their daily lives. But the experience of raising a child can go a long way. If you’re going to be a decent parent, then you necessarily figure out a lot along the way as the years roll by. So when Louise and Ben start surreptitiously grabbing makeshift weapons and cleverly scoping out their surroundings, we buy that they’re able to pull this off by virtue of their dedication to protecting Agnes. If you want to believe that you’ll similarly always be there for your kids, it’s worth checking out Speak No Evil to see how it tests your mettle.

Speak No Evil is Recommended If You Like: Psycho, You’re Next, Orphan

Grade: 4 out of 5 Scissors

An Important Note About the Occupants of ‘The Front Room’

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A scene from The Front Room that doesn’t take place in the front room (CREDIT: Jon Pack/A24)

Starring: Brandy, Kathryn Hunter, Andrew Burnap, Neal Huff

Director: Max and Sam Eggers

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 6, 2024 (Theaters)

I thought I was ready for The Front Room. A pregnant Brandy vs. Kathryn Hunter as her ignorant, zealously religious stepmother-in-law: how could you go wrong with that premise?!

Alas, now that I’ve seen it, I feel compelled to issue a warning to anyone who is excited as I was. This could very well be construed as a spoiler, so stop reading if you must, but that won’t prevent me from fulfilling my civic duty.

Okay, here goes: a good chunk of this movie about incontinence. Like, a BIG chunk. And it’s not shy about it! It’s also a tonal mish-mash, which it actually handles pretty well. But I really don’t think it needed all those stinky bodily fluids.

Grade: 8 Hallucinations out of 17 Unholy Spirits

I’m Not Afraid to Say That I Have Some Thoughts About ‘AfrAId’

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To Be AfrAID, or to be very AfrAId? (CREDIT: Glen Wilson/Columbia Pictures)

Starring: John Cho, Katherine Waterston, Keith Carradine, Havana Rose Liu, Lukita Maxwell, David Dastmalchian, Ashley Romans, Wyatt Lindner, Isaac Bae, Bennett Curran, Greg Hill, Riki Lindhome, Todd Waring

Director: Chris Weitz

Running Time: 84 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: August 30, 2024 (Theaters)

I ain’t afraid of no A.I. And AfrAId didn’t convince me that I should be! First of all, it’s just a movie, so we should really just relax. Second of all, it takes a much-less apocalyptic approach than it could have. Whereas horror movie monsters are typically defeated or merely just escaped from by their story’s end, in AfrAID, AIA the A.I. ultimately brokers a compromise with its human keepers. In that way, it offers a similarly uneasy (but possibly hopeful) solution as that of The Babadook. So yeah, that’s something different than what we usually get from this genre. If that sounds kind of enticing to you, then I would go ahead and encourage you to check out AfrAId!

Grade: A.I. Don’t Love You, But A.I. Do Tolerate You

Shall We Join ‘The Crow’ Team?

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Something to Crow about? (CREDIT: Lionsgate)

Starring: Bill Skarsgård, FKA Twigs, Danny Huston, Josette Simon, Laura Birn, Sami Bouajila, Isabella Wei, Jordan Bolger

Director: Rupert Sanders

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 23, 2024 (Theaters)

Well, I just saw a movie, so I guess it’s time to ask myself once again: would I like this to happen to me? “This” being “become The Crow (2024).” I can definitely see the appeal! The Bill Skarsgård version of Eric’s trail of vengeance may be soul-destroying, but it’s relatively clean and about as straightforward as advertised. Plus, I’ve never seen the 1994 Crow (nor read any of the comics, for that matter), so I don’t have a sterling standard in my head to compare it against. Ultimately, if I could somehow finagle a fantastical Crow-like journey that wouldn’t seep into my mortal existence, I’d be down for it, especially if it meant having a mentor played by Sami Bouajila, who kind of reminded me of Luis Guzman in the “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux” episode of Community.

Grade: 3 Crows out of More Crows

Time to ‘Slingshot,’ But What’s the Destination?

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TFW u Slingshot (CREDIT: Bleecker Street/Screenshot)

Starring: Casey Affleck, Laurence Fishburne, Emily Beecham, Tomer Capone, David Morrissey

Director: Mikael Håfström

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 30, 2024 (Theaters)

Well okay, since Slingshot didn’t get a super-duper big release, nor was it heavily advertised, I suppose I ought to provide a quick synopsis so that you don’t have to open an extra tab. Casey Affleck plays an astronaut named John who’s on a mission to Titan, the largest moon of Saturn. He’s joined by two other astronauts, played by these dudes Laurence Fishburne and Tomer Capone. Meanwhile, there are flashbacks to John’s time on Earth when he was recruited into the mission and fell in love with his girlfriend Zoe (Emily Beecham). Those flashbacks will prove to be important later! Anyway, while the crew gets to the point in outer space where they must perform a slingshot maneuver around Jupiter, John starts to lose his mind a little bit.

To get extratextual for a moment, I saw this movie with my dad on Sunday afternoon of Labor Day weekend, which was a good scheduling idea, as the ending made me go, “Hmm, I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.” Luckily, ambiguity that’s as big as the vast expanse of space was easier to handle on a relaxing weekend. So if you’re thinking about seeing Slingshot yourself, just make sure to avoid any simultaneous existential crises. (Unless you’re into that sort of thing!)

Grade: 800 Slings out of 1555 Shots

August Movie Review Catch-Up: The Heat Dissipates

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures (CREDIT: Screenshot)

I saw a bunch of movies in August 2024 that I haven’t released my full thoughts about yet, as it’s been too hot to say too much about any one movie. So I waited until September in the hopes that it would cool down at least a little bit and that I wouldn’t overheat from all this film analysis.

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