Be Careful, or ‘How to Rob a Bank’ Might Just Recruit Yinz

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Making Bank (CREDIT: Megan Schoenbachler
© 2026 Amazon Content Services LLC. All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, John C. Reilly, Zoë Kravitz, Anna Sawai, Rhenzy Feliz, Pete Davidson, Christian Slater, Tati Gabrielle, Paul Sparks

Director: David Leitch

Running Time: 122 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Spicy Language and Violence That Threatens to Tip Into Anarchy

Release Date: November 13, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A crew of righteous thieves with animal mask disguises have been documenting their bank heists on social media. Led by Ryan aka The Wolf (Nicholas Hoult), they’re not being boastful but instead spreading a message of revolution and recruitment. Because according to their understanding of today’s economy, the odds of a successful bank robbery are much higher than that of homeownership. Ryan’s girlfriend Emi (Anna Sawai) and their associates Hugo (Rhenzy Feliz) and Vince (Pete Davidson) have all fully bought into the mission after being chewed up and spit out by modern capitalism. They’ve attracted millions of viewers, including FBI Agent John West (John C. Reilly), who is stumped about how to catch them, as they’ve given away very little about their whereabouts despite their massive digital footprint. So he recruits Reagan Gardner (Zoë Kravitz), a hacker behind a tracking system that might be able to crack the case (that is, if Reagan’s sympathies for the crew don’t get in the way too much).

What Made an Impression?: Demanding a Better Deal: How to Rob a Bank works as well as it does because it is a little dangerous. I don’t actually anticipate a spate of copycat robbers in the wake of its release, but its message ought to resonate, as it’s not exactly hard to make the case that so many of our current regulations are designed to protect billionaire executives more than the average worker. Are the statistics that Ryan cites to justify his criminality fully accurate? I don’t know, but Hoult delivers them with so much conviction that I’m absolutely going to listen to all of his lectures. That does leave me a little queasy about the chaos it advocates for, but that might also be a marker of its effectiveness.
Johnny C. Goode: How has it taken this long for John C. Reilly to play a disgruntled FBI agent? Maybe we were just waiting for him to age up to the point where he could convincingly grumble about how he’s five years away from retirement. He absolutely leans hard into all the most appetizing stereotypes of this sort of authority figure. Accordingly, I wouldn’t call this the most realistic portrayal, but nor would I want it to be. Nevertheless, it’s authentic in all the ways that matter.
Black and Yellow: To fit its working class message, HtRaB has chosen an appropriately working class setting in the form of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Anyone who has ever spent any time in the Steel City will appreciate all the care put into lovingly showcasing the bridges, the yinzers, and a certain iconic sandwich shop. If this movie is playing in 4DX anywhere, they better be pumping in the scent of fresh French fries mingling with coleslaw.

How to Rob a Bank is Recommended If You Like: Bonnie and Clyde, How to Blow Up a Pipeline, Mr. Beast-level stunts, Primanti Bros., Modeling your entire personality around Point Break

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Wolf Masks

If I Had Eyes (Which I Do), I’d Watch ‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

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Honestly? There’s more screaming than kicking in this movie (CREDIT: Logan White/A24)

Starring: Rose Byrne, Delaney Quinn, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Christian Slater, Danielle Macdonald, Mary Bronstein, Ivy Wolk

Director: Mary Bronstein

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 10, 2025 (Theaters)

A few months ago, New York Magazine published a cover story about kids with ARFID, an eating disorder caused not by body image issues but rather by the sensory characteristics of food, or fears of choking and/or vomiting, or a combination of these and other similar factors. In If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, Rose Byrne plays Linda, a therapist in therapy with a daughter (Delaney Quinn) who sure seems to have ARFID. On top of that, they’re living in a motel because of a spectacularly massive hole in Linda’s bedroom ceiling. With her husband away on work, daily life for Linda becomes more and more stressfully surreal and surreally stressful, with no end or relief to her struggles in sight. The hole feels like a portal to another dimension, while the daughter feels like an alien in a way that strong-willed kids often do. Eventually, though, some tactile and Earth-based solutions present themselves, offering at least a little bit of hope for the future. But I’ll never forget how If I Had Legs I’d Kick You succeeds best insofar as it captures how hallucinatory nightmares are lurking in just the tiniest slip of our typical realities.

Grade: Two Legs Up!

August Movie Review Catch-Up: The Heat Dissipates

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures (CREDIT: Screenshot)

I saw a bunch of movies in August 2024 that I haven’t released my full thoughts about yet, as it’s been too hot to say too much about any one movie. So I waited until September in the hopes that it would cool down at least a little bit and that I wouldn’t overheat from all this film analysis.

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A ‘Freelance’ Trip to the Theater

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Free your Lance, and the rest will follow! (CREDIT: Relativity Media/Screenshot)

Starring: John Cena, Alison Brie, Juan Pablo Raba, Alice Eve, Marton Csokas, Christian Slater, Molly McCann

Director: Pierre Morel

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 27, 2023 (Theaters)

As I write this review, Freelance is currently luxuriating with a 0% Tomatometer on Rotten Tomatoes. So I went into this frivolous little action comedy with that benchmark (or lack thereof) in mind. And now that I’ve emerged, my ultimate verdict is: it’s not that historically bad. Rather, it’s just a mere trifle. And since I’m in a speculative mood, it probably wouldn’t have remained at zero if more than 25 critics had bothered to review it.

Anyway, the main reason I went to see it was of course because Alison Brie is second-billed. She plays a journalist angling for a Pulitzer who’s recently been brought low by scandal. There are a few scenes of her having to get by on some random celebrity schmoozefest, and I kinda think there should have been more of that. Alison’s really good at elevating characters in low-culture situations who shouldn’t be underestimated, after all.

Grade: 2 out of 5 Fictional Countries