‘Beau Is Afraid,’ But Maybe He’ll Be Less Afraid If You Go See His Movie

3 Comments

Beau Afraid, Beau Very Afraid (CREDIT: Takashi Seida/A24)

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Zoe Lister-Jones, Nathan Lane, Amy Ryan, Patti LuPone, Richard Kind, Parker Posey, Kylie Rogers, Denis Ménochet, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Hayley Squires, Armen Nahapetian

Director: Ari Aster

Running Time: 179 Minutes

Rating: R for Sex, Naked Stabbings, Giant Testicles, Peer Pressure, and Just an All-Around Disturbing Odyssey

Release Date: April 14, 2023(New York and L.A. Theaters)/Expands April 21

What’s It About?: Beau Wasserman (Joaquin Phoenix) is just trying to get home to visit his mom Mona (Zoe Lister-Jones in flashbacks, Patti LuPone in the present day). He’s really, really trying to! But you wouldn’t believe the obstacles in his way! She’s skeptical that he’s making the most honest effort, but we get to see what he has to deal with. He lives in the most outrageously dangerous part of town, which leads to his apartment being broken into and then epically destroyed. Then a series of comically violent misunderstandings concludes with him being plowed down in traffic. Luckily, the people who hit him are a seemingly lovely couple (Amy Ryan, Nathan Lane) who take him into their home while he’s healing. Not so luckily, their teenage daughter (Kylie Rogers) is an absolute nightmare, and their late son’s Army buddy (Denis Ménochet) is seriously disturbed. Beau eventually breaks free enough to go on a spiritual journey of sorts and eventually arrive at his childhood home. But will it be too late for him to get his mother to confess what really happened between them when he was growing up?

What Made an Impression?: When dealing with a 3-hour movie like Beau Is Afraid, we all of course want to know: is it possible to make it through the whole thing without nodding off or losing patience? I can confidently say that writer-director Ari Aster and his totally game cast held my attention the whole time, though your results may vary. There are gonzo left turns around every corner, which some might find profoundly exhausting. But if you can get on the right wavelength, it’ll be quite fulfilling and invigorating.

The whole film dances on the precipice between real and surreal. Just when I think I can come up with a logical explanation for how this could all possibly happen, suddenly a giant phallic monster shows up. It’s biblical, I must say. This might as well have been called Ari Aster’s Old Testament.

I think the skeleton key might lie in the opening scene, as Beau meets with his therapist (Stephen McKinley Henderson) and gets a new, somewhat dangerous prescription. Everything that follows might be a trip through Beau’s subconscious, and not exactly of the most ethical variety. The doc may very well be in cahoots with Mona, and they may have cooked up a fantastical scheme to test Beau’s love. I hope that this isn’t a metaphor for Aster’s relationship with his own mother, but if it is, I pray that it can serve as an opening for them to heal their own wounds. (And that same sentiment holds true for anyone who’s had a rough relationship with a parent!)

Beau Is Afraid is Recommended If You Like: The Game, The Book of Job

Grade: 4 out of 5 Guilt Trips

Ay Yai Yai, ‘Mafia Mamma’

Leave a comment

Mamma Mia! (CREDIT: Bleecker Street)

Starring: Toni Collette, Monica Bellucci, Sophia Nomvete, Giulio Corso, Francesco Mastroianni, Alfonso Perugini, Eduardo Scarpetta, Tim Daish, Tommy Rodger

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for Screwy Violence and Awkwardly Self-Aware Sex

Release Date: April 14, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Kristin (Toni Collette) is just your typical American suburban mom with a steady job at an ad agency who longs to live out her own version of Eat Pray Love. She hardly knows her birth country of Italy, but she gets a chance to finally visit when the grandfather she never knew passes away. And wouldn’t you know it, Grandpa was a godfather, and control of the family’s operations has now been inherited by none other than Kristin. Could it be that all she needs to experience a midlife renaissance is brokering a peace between warring mafia factions? She’s going to find out soon enough, because passions run hot in Calabria, and nobody has much patience for a silly American who just wants to eat pasta and hook up with random hotties.

What Made an Impression?: Mafia Mamma is an absolutely outrageous movie. Nobody seems to have any idea how to behave appropriately in the pressure-filled situations they find themselves in. Kristin reacts pretty much exactly the same when she walks in on her husband having sex with someone else as she does when being shot at during a funeral. Which is to say: general annoyance that just gets added to the list of grievances that make her midlife crisis. And then there’s the scene when her video work call gets interrupted by an assassin, and the ensuing tussle climaxes with a nice bloody close-up of a detached eyeball plopping along the floor. This could be amusing, but it’s all so blunt. The timing is just way off.

I would love to be able to say that I enjoyed this movie. How could anybody resist Toni Collette! And it’s always nice to see Catherine Hardwicke continuing to work, even if she’ll probably never direct anything as massive as Twilight ever again. But sometimes you just have to accept that the people you’re rooting for don’t quite accomplish what they’re trying to pull off. It can be tough to get a violent screwball formula just right, so there’s no reason to dwell on it when it doesn’t work out.

Mafia Mamma is Recommended If You Like: Shaming people for never having seen The Godfather

Grade: 2 out of 5 Gelatos

‘Shazam! Fury of the Gods’ Did Not Make Me Furious, At the Very Least

Leave a comment

Look at how furious Shazam is! (CREDIT:
Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Zachary Levi, Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Adam Brody, Helen Mirren, Lucy Liu, Rachel Zegler, Ross Butler, Ian Chen, D.J. Cotrona, Jovan Armand, Grace Caroline Currey, Meagan Good, Faithe Herman, Djimon Hounsou, Marta Milans, Cooper Andrews

Director: David F. Sandberg

Running Time: 130 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: March 17, 2023 (Theaters)

Shazam! Fury of the Gods reminded me of Wonder Woman 1984, both in terms of how it makes risky storytelling decisions, and also in terms of how Wonder Woman is in it. In the case of the WW follow-up, it was kind of inexplicable compared to the first outing. But in the case of the lightning bolt boy, the darkly kooky vibe was absolutely called for and precedented, it just didn’t work as well as it did the first time. But I’m still glad I watched it!

Grade: A Sort-Of Unicorn

2-for-1 Movie Review: How to Paint a Pipeline

1 Comment

CREDIT: IFC Films; NEON

How to Blow Up a Pipeline

Starring: Ariela Barer, Kristine Froseth, Lukas Gage, Forrest Goodluck, Sasha Lane, Jayme Lawson, Marcus Scribner, Jake Weary, Irene Bedard, Olive Jane Lorraine

Director: Daniel Goldhaber

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: R for Nights of Debauchery Amidst the Activism

Release Date: April 7, 2023 (Theaters)

Paint

Starring: Owen Wilson, Michaela Watkins, Stephen Root, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ciara Renée, Luisa Strus

Director: Brit McAdams

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Weird Sexiness and Pipe Smoking

Release Date: April 7, 2023 (Theaters)

More

‘The Super Mario Bros. Movie’ Keeps It Faithful, But Why Not Be Weirder?

2 Comments

Plumbing the depths (CREDIT: Nintendo and Universal Studios)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya-Taylor Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan Michael-Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Charles Martinet, Kevin Michael Richardson

Directors: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: PG for Scrapes and Scuffles That Don’t Leave a Mark

Release Date: April 5, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The Mario brothers are ready to take their plumbing business to the next level! Better watch out for those pipes, though. Based on the long-running series of Nintendo video games, the gang’s all here in the faithfully colorful Super Mario Bros. Movie. Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) find themselves suddenly sucked into a fantastical kingdom where wooden blocks hold the promise of physical transformation. They team up with Princess Peach (Anya-Taylor Joy) to defeat the over-the-top villainous Bowser (Jack Black), while a mushroom creature (Keegan Michael-Key) and a goofy gorilla (Seth Rogen) round out the core crew.

What Made an Impression?: Mario and Luigi have of course made it onto the big screen before, though 1993’s live-action Super Mario Bros. was widely considered an unmitigated disaster. Bizarrely enough, this latest cinematic adventure keeps the same basic skeleton, as the Mario brothers drive around Brooklyn in their plumbing van, only to then find themselves in the middle of an interdimensional conflict. But beyond that shared setup, it’s a vastly different journey this time. The 1993 version isn’t exactly a misunderstood classic, but it is unlike pretty much anything else that came before or after. Meanwhile, this computer-animated update is basically a series of right-down-the-middle cutscenes.

It’s harmless and amusing in spots, but stripped of way too much personality. It all starts with the voice of the stocky fellow at the center. Chris Pratt has some useful tools in his skill set, but bringing to life an iconically cartoonish ball of energy is not one of them. There’s even a joke about how he sounds nothing like the Mario of the video games! Now look, Bob Hoskins didn’t exactly sound like classic Mario either, but he brought something undeniably unique. Pratt’s mandate, meanwhile, appears to be to turn him into Bland Everyman Hero.

At least everyone else is able to stretch and have some fun. Black in particular has a blast, as he transforms Bowser into the dragon-turtle version of Tenacious D, while Fred Armisen’s Cranky Kong sounds just like his impression of Anna Nicole Smith trial judge Larry Seidlin. There are also plenty of reliable needle drops, though I’m not sure some of them have anything to do with Mario. (“Take on Me,” anyone?) Ultimately, my favorite part of The Super Mario Bros. Movie is the Illumination logo at the beginning that features a Minion attempting to drive a go-kart, which led me to realize that it’s high time to incorporate those little yellow fellas into the Nintendo universe.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is Recommended If You Like: Bright colors and simple plots

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Power Ups

‘Air’ Soars Across the Court

2 Comments

They’re sailing through the air! (CREDIT: Ana Carballosa/© Amazon Conten Services LLC)

Starring: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Viola Davis, Jason Bateman, Chris Tucker, Chris Messina, Matthew Maher, Julius Tennon, Marlon Wayans, Jay Mohr

Director: Ben Affleck

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: R for Big League Potty Mouths

Release Date: April 5, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Nowadays, Nike stands victorious in pretty much every sector of the athletic shoe market. But there was a time when that wasn’t the case! So Air takes us back to 1984 to reveal the story of When Nike Met Mikey. As Michael Jordan was headed to the Chicago Bulls out of North Carolina, it wasn’t immediately obvious what sort of transcendent figure he would become. But there were a few folks who recognized something unprecedented, including Sonny Vaccaro (Matt Damon), the Nike executive who bet the company’s entire basketball division on a whole new paradigm with the introduction of the Air Jordan sneaker. What emerges is a story about not just peeking into the future, but also taking what’s yours and shaking off exploitation.

What Made an Impression?: Air is one of those movies that is just perfectly cast. I’m enthralled by everyone’s introductory scene, and I’m excited for them to return when they’re not on the screen. Damon slips right into Sonny’s everyman hustle, while the rest of the Nike office is rounded out by Chris Tucker’s indefatigable motormouth and Jason Bateman’s charming frustration. Matthew Maher is an absolute treat as Pete Moore, the excitable designer tasked with realizing the Air Jordan vision. Chris Messina is a hoot as Jordan’s egomaniacal agent, while Viola Davis brings it all home in an unsurprisingly commanding performance as Jordan’s mother Deloris. And of course, we can’t forget Ben Affleck directing himself as Nike founder Phil Knight with a mix of desperate world-weariness and lingering idealism.

With a movie about fairly recent history, you can have a lot of fun with 20/20 hindsight wisdom, and Air makes the most of it. Did Nike execs really doubt the cultural viability of Charles Barkley, who went on to become one of the most telegenic players and broadcasters in NBA history? Maybe, maybe not, but the folly of that massive misread is still worth plenty of snickers regardless of accuracy. Much more believable, at least from my vantage point, is the lack of awareness about Gonzaga University in the years before they became a college basketball powerhouse.

After all the fun and the bluster, Air ultimately reveals itself as a tribute to the importance of workers’ rights. It may seem counterintuitive to pin that message on a billionaire like Jordan, but those massive riches he accrued were never a guarantee. And the film makes a compelling argument that the highly individualized Air Jordan deal set a precedent that the workers of the sports world – i.e., the players – deserved autonomy and security, no matter how vast or pitiful their base compensation. If a sneaker can look cool AND make the world just a little bit better, then the human race is doing something just a little bit right.

Air is Recommended If You Like: Tracksuits, Car phones, Poring over game tape

Grade: 4 out of 5 Sneakers

‘A Thousand and One’ Review: Who is This Mother?

1 Comment

One, Two, A Thousand and One (CREDIT: Courtesy of Focus Features)

Starring: Teyana Taylor, Will Catlett, Josiah Cross, Aven Courtney, Aaron Kingsley Adetola

Director: A.V. Rockwell

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: R for People Yelling at Each Other

Release Date: March 31, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: In 1994, a young woman named Inez (Teyana Taylor) is released from Rikers Island and determined to get her life back on track. She quickly locates her six-year-old son Terry (Aaron Kingsley Adetola, and then Aven Courtney at age 13 and Josiah Cross at age 17) and pulls him out of the foster care system. Over the course of the ensuing decade, Mother and Son, as well as Inez’s longtime partner Lucky (Will Catlett), weather the challenges of a crappy New York City apartment, the violence of the streets, and terminal health diagnoses. All the while, Inez is constantly looking over her shoulder in the chance that the authorities will expose whatever she’s up to. Terry can sense something fishy, but he has no idea about the full extent of the truth about who he really is.

What Made an Impression?: A Thousand and One puts a ton of dramatic weight on the shoulders of Taylor, whom I know primarily from Kanye West’s “Fade” music video and as the Firefly from Season 7 of The Masked Singer. She does have several other credits to her name, but this is by far the most demanding on-screen role of her career thus far. And she rises to the occasion! Some people just have star quality, plain and simple, and Taylor is one of those stellar folks.

But while my feelings towards Taylor are pretty clear-cut, I’m more ambivalent about this genre of film overall. While watching stories of people struggling to get by, I often find myself wondering, “Is this overly exploitative?” and “Is this even meant to be entertaining, or just challenging?” A Thousand and One certainly doesn’t answer these questions; instead, it merely brings them back to the fore. Writer-director A.V. Rockwell paints a vivid portrait, but not a particularly unique one.

What is unique, however, is a heartbreaking, clarifying final act. Terry eventually does find the answers he’s always deserved, and it’s quite the treat to see this movie pull off such a surprise in a genre that’s not especially known for its twisty reveals. But if done properly, it works no matter what type of story you’re trying to tell. It’s a matter of editing and rhythm, and A Thousand and One nails its final decrescendo.

A Thousand and One is Recommended If You Like: Recently bygone eras of NYC

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Leaky Pipes

‘John Wick: Chapter 4’ Somehow Pulls Off the Trick of Going Both Epic and Scaled-Down

1 Comment

I’m thinking he’s back. (CREDIT: Murray Close)

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Donnie Yen, Bill Skarsgård, Ian McShane, Laurence Fishburne, Hiroyuki Sanada, Shamier Anderson, Lance Reddick, Rina Sawayama, Scott Adkins

Director: Chad Stahelski

Running Time: 169 Minutes

Rating: R for The Usual Hail of Bullets and Blades

Release Date: March 24, 2023

What’s It About?: John Wick is finally getting out of the game, somehow someway. Keanu Reeves’ superhuman assassin has had everything he loves ripped away, and now he’s excommunicated from his deadly vocation and thereby marked for the grave. Although, if memory serves correctly, I’m pretty sure this latest excommunication is just adding to a pile of excommunications. I guess we’ve reached Double Secret Probation Excommunication at this point. Anyway, for this go-round, John is completely in go-for-broke mode. He’s going to escape the clutches of the High Table, the ruling council that controls everything, or die trying. Meanwhile, Bill Skarsgård is on hand as the Marquis Vincent de Gramont, the dandiest of dastardly villains who likes to keep all his pretty pawns in place. Will John’s friends help him out, or will they too be forced to kill him? Either way, the bullets (and all the other cleverly improvised killing devices) will be flying.

What Made an Impression?: The John Wick series has a legion of fans thanks to its boundless swagger and pizazz. But it’s never quite won me over, due in no small part to its overwhelming acoustics. Furthermore, as the mythology expanded with each successive entry, I found myself caring less and less about the codes and rituals of this assassin culture. In the wake of Chapter 4, I wouldn’t say I’m a convert, but I can at least appreciate it as an achievement of singular craftsmanship and vision.

The running time is nearly three hours, which represents a gradual ballooning over the course of the franchise, as the first one clocked in at a mere 1 hour and 40 minutes. But it never feels bloated; quite the opposite, in fact. There’s a lot to accomplish and plenty of globe-hopping, but the mission is lean and focused. And the minutiae of the mythology is toned way down, so if you missed the first three, or forgot all the details, you can dive right in and still get the gist. And for those of you hardcore Wick-ians, there’s plenty new to love here, especially Donnie Yen as a blind assassin with unparalleled acrobatic lethality. It’s a colorful world of killers out there, and they’re all digging into the delectable feast.

John Wick: Chapter 4 is Recommended If You Like: This clip from a Japanese game show

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Bounties

Willem Dafoe is Stuck ‘Inside’ – Should You Join Him?

Leave a comment

Knock Knock. Who’s ‘Inside’? Willem Dafoe. Willem Dafoe Who? Willem Dafriend. (CREDIT: Courtesy of Focus Features)

Starring: Willem Dafoe

Director: Vasilis Katsoupis

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R, Because Weird Things Happen When You’re Stuck All Alone in a Penthouse

Release Date: March 17, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Have you ever wanted to be endlessly trapped in a penthouse apartment with Willem Dafoe? Then Inside is the movie for you! Although, that promise of companionship might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Dafoe plays Nemo, an art thief who finds himself in accidental solitary confinement when an attempted heist becomes completely pear-shaped. The penthouse’s security system goes haywire (or maybe this is exactly how it’s supposed to work when an intruder arrives), and Nemo’s associates on the outside immediately abandon him. There’s basically no hope of escape, and any flash of hope that Nemo can signal someone on the outside for help is merely that, just a flash. But at least there’s plenty of expensive art to keep him company!

What Made an Impression?: I know I’m not the only one who thinks of Willem Dafoe as “Willem Da Friend.” What I’m trying to say is, I’m always happy when he’s on my screen. But it turns out that it’s a big ask to watch just about anyone wasting away in such relentless isolation. I’d like to believe that there are interesting ways to keep someone trapped, but Inside struck me as mostly tedious. It has some ideas on its mind, but nothing really tickled my philosophical bone.

At the beginning of the film, Nemo recalls in voiceover a time he was asked as a child what three things he would save if his house were on fire. At the time, he settled upon an AC/DC CD, his cat, and his sketchbook. Looking back on that moment, he now seems less fond of the Australian rockers and the meowing critter, but he firmly believes that “art is for keeps.” Perhaps his current predicament is meant as a test of that theory? If it is, we never really see him grapple with any sort of existential conundrum. Sure, he gradually loses his sanity, but that would probably happen to anybody in his situation, no matter what their feelings about art.

The one element of Inside that I unreservedly enjoyed was the refrigerator that plays the “Macarena” (of 90s dance craze fame) whenever it’s opened. If we had gotten an hour and a half of Dafoe boogieing along with Los Del Rio, instead of just a few minutes, I think I would have bit just a bit harder. If my house were on fire, I would want to ensure that “Macarena” makes it out alive. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to worry, because there’s no way you can burn away the indelible spirit it’s left on all of humanity. Inside doesn’t fully emphasize the power of the Macarena, but it certainly doesn’t dispute it either, and that’s the message I’m choosing to focus on.

Inside is Recommended If You Like: Insisting that everything is art

Grade: 2 out of 5 CCTVs

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Review-a-mania

Leave a comment

Oh my God, Ant-Man admit it! (CREDIT: Marvel Entertainment/Screenshot)

Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Kathryn Newton, Jonathan Majors, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, David Dastmalchian, Katy O’Brian, William Jackson Harper, Bill Murray, Corey Stoll

Director: Peyton Reed

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: February 17, 2023 (Theaters)

I liked the beginning of Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, because it was bright and sunny, both literally and metaphorically. I also liked the end, because it was once again bright and sunny. But I didn’t like the parts in the Quantum Realm as much, because they were quite dark. I saw it two days after my birthday, and it definitely wasn’t the best birthday movie, so it’s good that I didn’t see it on the exact anniversary of my expulsion from a uterus.

While the credits were unspooling, a youngster of about six told his dad, “I hate this movie,” as he walked past me. I try not to hate, but I kept holding my head at a weird angle while watching, and that wasn’t good for my neck. Both literally and metaphorically.

Grade: Infinity Plus 3 out of Infinity Times 2 Kangs

Older Entries Newer Entries