‘Evil Dead Rise’: The Dead Reign and Rain

April 20, 2023

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They’re so dead. (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Lily Sullivan, Alyssa Sutherland, Morgan Davies, Gabrielle Echols, Nell Fisher

Director: Lee Cronin

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: R for Creative Body Horror and Overflowing Blood

Release Date: April 21, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: You can’t keep a good Book of the Dead down. It’s been over 40 years since those Deadites first popped out and wreaked havoc in the first Evil Dead, and they’re not showing signs of retiring anytime soon. This time, they’re breaking out of their usual cabin in the woods stomping ground and going a little more domestic. After newly single mom Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) welcomes her unexpectedly visiting sister Beth (Lily Sullivan), she sends her kids Danny (Morgan Davies), Bridget (Gabrielle Echols), and Kassie (Nell Fisher) out for some pizza. On their way back, an earthquake rips open a hole in their apartment building’s parking garage, revealing a certain tome with a set of very sharp teeth. The kids are a little too curious, and soon enough, Mommy isn’t feeling very much like Mommy anymore. And that feeling might be contagious.

What Made an Impression?: One of the main reasons the Evil Dead franchise has endured as long as it has is the preternaturally charismatic screen presence of its original leading man, Bruce Campbell. He steps away from the main cast for Evil Dead Rise (much as he did with the 2013 reboot), though he still manages to be involved with the best part of the movie, as he voices a priest who can be heard on a vinyl record documenting a previous group’s encounter with the Book of the Dead. That’s not meant as a knock on the new actors, who are all mostly solid. Instead, it’s meant as praise for writer-director Lee Cronin continuing the tradition of capturing an atmosphere of eternally persistent inescapable dread.

Other than that, though, Evil Dead Rise doesn’t manage to be quite as singular as the original Sam Raimi-directed entries. That would be quite a tall order, to be fair. The slapstick brand of horror that reached its apotheosis in 1987’s Evil Dead II was unlike anything else of the era, and really unlike anything else in horror history. Evil Dead Rise aims for a more straightforwardly frightening experience, with some laugh lines here and there, but not in any way that’s terribly unusual for the genre. It certainly impresses with its buckets of blood and general relentlessness, though it doesn’t shift any paradigms. You’ll be slapped around by fear, instead of fully possessed by it.

Evil Dead Rise is Recommended If You Like: Old-timey radio plays, Voice modulation, Karo syrup

Grade: 3 out of 5 Deadites

‘Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant’ Spotlights the Plight of an Afghani Ally Targeted by the Taliban

April 19, 2023

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A key member of The Covenant (CREDIT: Christopher Raphael/Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures
© 2023 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Dar Salim, Alexander Ludwig, Anthony Starr, Emily Beecham, Jonny Lee Miller

Director: Guy Ritchie

Running Time: 123 Minutes

Rating: R for Modern Warfare and Drunken Vitriol

Release Date: April 21, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant at first looks like a pretty typical 21st century war film, with lots of sweating and tumbling through mountainous desert terrain. It’s April 2018, and Sergeant John Kinley (Jake Gyllenhaal) finds himself squarely in the crosshairs of a resurgent Taliban, with nobody to protect him except his Afghani interpreter Ahmed (Dar Salim). Then about halfway through, the film pivots to the tangled odyssey of John repaying the favor by attempting to secure American visas for Ahmed and his family. It’s a high-stakes rescue mission with no promises of safety or success, as the only way to track down an Afghan citizen on the run from the Taliban is by jumping right back into the cauldron.

What Made an Impression?: The Covenant kicked off by having the gall to give me terrible flashbacks to Guy Ritchie’s last release, Operation Fortune: Rose de Guerre, as I struggled to keep track of everybody’s names and motivations. I thought I was paying attention well enough, but combat is obviously high-pressure, and soldiers can frequently find themselves in situations where it’s too dangerous to say their names to each other, let alone anything at all. But then that midpoint reinvention came along, and it was absolutely critical, and profoundly welcome. Suddenly it became clear that this wouldn’t be just a straightforward depiction of modern warfare, but an opportunity to call attention to an urgently timely issue. Furthermore, Sgt. Kinley would now have plenty of chances to say his own name and Ahmed’s over and over again.

Where The Covenant delivers its central point most saliently is a montage of John driving himself into a Kafkaesque rage over the futility of America’s visa process. It maybe fast-tracks a bit too much the development of him being driven to ruin by booze, but it works to convey just how destructively frustrating this bureaucracy is. The extraction scenes are pulse-pounding and cleanly edited, but the effect is stronger when the focus is on the conversations and negotiations. Thousands of real-life Afghans who worked alongside Americans are desperately waiting for their fortunes to turn as Ahmed’s did. If The Covenant can manage to throw a light on their plight, even just a little bit, then it will have been worth it.

Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant is Recommended If You Like: Going beyond the headlines of the nightly news

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Visas

‘Somewhere in Queens,’ You’ll Find Ray Romano’s Directorial Debut

April 18, 2023

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The Kings, and Queens, and Princes of Queens (CREDIT: Roadside Attractions)

Starring: Ray Romano, Laurie Metcalf, Jacob Ward, Sadie Stanley, Tony Lo Bianco, Sebastian Maniscalco, Jennifer Esposito, Dierdre Friel, Jon Manfrellotti

Director: Ray Romano

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: R for Family Members Yelling at Each Other and Horny Teenagers

Release Date: April 21, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Leo Russo (Ray Romano) is just a regular guy living in Queens, New York. Almost every single one of his waking hours is spent with his boisterous Italian-American family, whether it’s their regular Sunday dinner, the latest wedding or christening, or the construction jobs alongside his dad (Tony Lo Bianco), brother (Sebastian Maniscalco), and nephews. The only time he really perks up nowadays is when he watches his son Matthew, nicknamed “Sticks” (Jacob Ward), leading the charge for his high school basketball team. Things are looking pretty promising for Sticks, what with a new girlfriend (Sadie Stanley) and college recruiters sniffing around. But when that road becomes a little rocky, Leo goes a bit too far to ensure that everything works out for his boy. What will his wife Angela (Laurie Metcalf) think? And will he overstep so far that he ends up alienating his entire family?

What Made an Impression?: Somewhere in Queens is basically what it would be like if there were an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where all the adults were suffering from midlife crises and all the kids were having quarter-life crises. It’s Romano’s feature directorial debut, so maybe it’s something he’s wanted to do for a while and just felt like he couldn’t within network sitcom confines. It’s not a massive departure, as he certainly brought plenty of sadsack energy to his portrayal of Ray Barone and plenty of other performances, but the dark clouds are more persistent here. Even the sillier moments are filled with inescapable melancholy. So, you know, if you’re a Ray Romano superfan, just know what you’re getting yourself into.

Bitterer-than-average turns is the name of the game for just about everybody, especially Laurie Metcalf as frustrated mom Angela, who is not at all excited about her pending empty nest era. Plenty of us know her and love her for the zingers she’s delivered with aplomb as Aunt Jackie on Roseanne and The Conners. As Angela, she’s much nastier and more resentful, but the variety that’s fueled by a mother’s love. (Regular viewers of ABC’s current Wednesday night lineup will also recognize Sadie Stanley from her time on The Goldbergs.)

At the center of it all is Jacob Ward as Sticks, who’s giving a performance that can fairly be described as “the opposite of charismatic.” That’s not a criticism; rather, it’s what the script calls for. Crafting a story around the most diffident teenager in the universe doesn’t make for the most enjoyable viewing experience from my vantage point. But there are probably plenty of viewers who will find something to relate to. And that pretty much sums up Somewhere in Queens altogether: far from a hoot and a half, but recognizably human.

Somewhere in Queens is Recommended If You Like: Weekends filled with weddings, christenings, and anniversaries

Grade: 3 out of 5 Construction Gigs

‘The Pope’s Exorcist’ is a Vespa Ride Full of Breezy Adventures

April 17, 2023

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Exorcists Gonna Exorcise (CREDIT: Jonathan Hession/Screen Gems/Sony Pictures Entertainment)

Starring: Russell Crowe, Daniel Zovatto, Alex Essoe, Laurel Marsden, Peter DeSouza-Feighoney, Ralph Ineson, Franco Nero, Cornell S. John

Director: Julius Avery

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 14, 2023 (Theaters)

Well now, how about an entire series of Pope’s Exorcist movies?! My favorite part of this movie was discovering that Russell Crowe was playing the very real Father Gabriele Amorth. I’m guessing that this telling embellished the details, but I’m also sure that the actual padre lived quite a life. And even if he didn’t, his decades of encounters with the devil makes for a durable enough premise to pretend that he did for plenty of cinematic hours. So let’s get to it!

Grade: Good Enough Start, Now Let’s Give This Exorcist Some More Exorcisms

‘Beau Is Afraid,’ But Maybe He’ll Be Less Afraid If You Go See His Movie

April 14, 2023

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Beau Afraid, Beau Very Afraid (CREDIT: Takashi Seida/A24)

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Zoe Lister-Jones, Nathan Lane, Amy Ryan, Patti LuPone, Richard Kind, Parker Posey, Kylie Rogers, Denis Ménochet, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Hayley Squires, Armen Nahapetian

Director: Ari Aster

Running Time: 179 Minutes

Rating: R for Sex, Naked Stabbings, Giant Testicles, Peer Pressure, and Just an All-Around Disturbing Odyssey

Release Date: April 14, 2023(New York and L.A. Theaters)/Expands April 21

What’s It About?: Beau Wasserman (Joaquin Phoenix) is just trying to get home to visit his mom Mona (Zoe Lister-Jones in flashbacks, Patti LuPone in the present day). He’s really, really trying to! But you wouldn’t believe the obstacles in his way! She’s skeptical that he’s making the most honest effort, but we get to see what he has to deal with. He lives in the most outrageously dangerous part of town, which leads to his apartment being broken into and then epically destroyed. Then a series of comically violent misunderstandings concludes with him being plowed down in traffic. Luckily, the people who hit him are a seemingly lovely couple (Amy Ryan, Nathan Lane) who take him into their home while he’s healing. Not so luckily, their teenage daughter (Kylie Rogers) is an absolute nightmare, and their late son’s Army buddy (Denis Ménochet) is seriously disturbed. Beau eventually breaks free enough to go on a spiritual journey of sorts and eventually arrive at his childhood home. But will it be too late for him to get his mother to confess what really happened between them when he was growing up?

What Made an Impression?: When dealing with a 3-hour movie like Beau Is Afraid, we all of course want to know: is it possible to make it through the whole thing without nodding off or losing patience? I can confidently say that writer-director Ari Aster and his totally game cast held my attention the whole time, though your results may vary. There are gonzo left turns around every corner, which some might find profoundly exhausting. But if you can get on the right wavelength, it’ll be quite fulfilling and invigorating.

The whole film dances on the precipice between real and surreal. Just when I think I can come up with a logical explanation for how this could all possibly happen, suddenly a giant phallic monster shows up. It’s biblical, I must say. This might as well have been called Ari Aster’s Old Testament.

I think the skeleton key might lie in the opening scene, as Beau meets with his therapist (Stephen McKinley Henderson) and gets a new, somewhat dangerous prescription. Everything that follows might be a trip through Beau’s subconscious, and not exactly of the most ethical variety. The doc may very well be in cahoots with Mona, and they may have cooked up a fantastical scheme to test Beau’s love. I hope that this isn’t a metaphor for Aster’s relationship with his own mother, but if it is, I pray that it can serve as an opening for them to heal their own wounds. (And that same sentiment holds true for anyone who’s had a rough relationship with a parent!)

Beau Is Afraid is Recommended If You Like: The Game, The Book of Job

Grade: 4 out of 5 Guilt Trips

Ay Yai Yai, ‘Mafia Mamma’

April 12, 2023

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Mamma Mia! (CREDIT: Bleecker Street)

Starring: Toni Collette, Monica Bellucci, Sophia Nomvete, Giulio Corso, Francesco Mastroianni, Alfonso Perugini, Eduardo Scarpetta, Tim Daish, Tommy Rodger

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for Screwy Violence and Awkwardly Self-Aware Sex

Release Date: April 14, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Kristin (Toni Collette) is just your typical American suburban mom with a steady job at an ad agency who longs to live out her own version of Eat Pray Love. She hardly knows her birth country of Italy, but she gets a chance to finally visit when the grandfather she never knew passes away. And wouldn’t you know it, Grandpa was a godfather, and control of the family’s operations has now been inherited by none other than Kristin. Could it be that all she needs to experience a midlife renaissance is brokering a peace between warring mafia factions? She’s going to find out soon enough, because passions run hot in Calabria, and nobody has much patience for a silly American who just wants to eat pasta and hook up with random hotties.

What Made an Impression?: Mafia Mamma is an absolutely outrageous movie. Nobody seems to have any idea how to behave appropriately in the pressure-filled situations they find themselves in. Kristin reacts pretty much exactly the same when she walks in on her husband having sex with someone else as she does when being shot at during a funeral. Which is to say: general annoyance that just gets added to the list of grievances that make her midlife crisis. And then there’s the scene when her video work call gets interrupted by an assassin, and the ensuing tussle climaxes with a nice bloody close-up of a detached eyeball plopping along the floor. This could be amusing, but it’s all so blunt. The timing is just way off.

I would love to be able to say that I enjoyed this movie. How could anybody resist Toni Collette! And it’s always nice to see Catherine Hardwicke continuing to work, even if she’ll probably never direct anything as massive as Twilight ever again. But sometimes you just have to accept that the people you’re rooting for don’t quite accomplish what they’re trying to pull off. It can be tough to get a violent screwball formula just right, so there’s no reason to dwell on it when it doesn’t work out.

Mafia Mamma is Recommended If You Like: Shaming people for never having seen The Godfather

Grade: 2 out of 5 Gelatos

‘Shazam! Fury of the Gods’ Did Not Make Me Furious, At the Very Least

April 11, 2023

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Look at how furious Shazam is! (CREDIT:
Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Zachary Levi, Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Adam Brody, Helen Mirren, Lucy Liu, Rachel Zegler, Ross Butler, Ian Chen, D.J. Cotrona, Jovan Armand, Grace Caroline Currey, Meagan Good, Faithe Herman, Djimon Hounsou, Marta Milans, Cooper Andrews

Director: David F. Sandberg

Running Time: 130 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: March 17, 2023 (Theaters)

Shazam! Fury of the Gods reminded me of Wonder Woman 1984, both in terms of how it makes risky storytelling decisions, and also in terms of how Wonder Woman is in it. In the case of the WW follow-up, it was kind of inexplicable compared to the first outing. But in the case of the lightning bolt boy, the darkly kooky vibe was absolutely called for and precedented, it just didn’t work as well as it did the first time. But I’m still glad I watched it!

Grade: A Sort-Of Unicorn

2-for-1 Movie Review: How to Paint a Pipeline

April 6, 2023

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CREDIT: IFC Films; NEON

How to Blow Up a Pipeline

Starring: Ariela Barer, Kristine Froseth, Lukas Gage, Forrest Goodluck, Sasha Lane, Jayme Lawson, Marcus Scribner, Jake Weary, Irene Bedard, Olive Jane Lorraine

Director: Daniel Goldhaber

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: R for Nights of Debauchery Amidst the Activism

Release Date: April 7, 2023 (Theaters)

Paint

Starring: Owen Wilson, Michaela Watkins, Stephen Root, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ciara Renée, Luisa Strus

Director: Brit McAdams

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Weird Sexiness and Pipe Smoking

Release Date: April 7, 2023 (Theaters)

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‘The Super Mario Bros. Movie’ Keeps It Faithful, But Why Not Be Weirder?

April 4, 2023

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Plumbing the depths (CREDIT: Nintendo and Universal Studios)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya-Taylor Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan Michael-Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Charles Martinet, Kevin Michael Richardson

Directors: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: PG for Scrapes and Scuffles That Don’t Leave a Mark

Release Date: April 5, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The Mario brothers are ready to take their plumbing business to the next level! Better watch out for those pipes, though. Based on the long-running series of Nintendo video games, the gang’s all here in the faithfully colorful Super Mario Bros. Movie. Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) find themselves suddenly sucked into a fantastical kingdom where wooden blocks hold the promise of physical transformation. They team up with Princess Peach (Anya-Taylor Joy) to defeat the over-the-top villainous Bowser (Jack Black), while a mushroom creature (Keegan Michael-Key) and a goofy gorilla (Seth Rogen) round out the core crew.

What Made an Impression?: Mario and Luigi have of course made it onto the big screen before, though 1993’s live-action Super Mario Bros. was widely considered an unmitigated disaster. Bizarrely enough, this latest cinematic adventure keeps the same basic skeleton, as the Mario brothers drive around Brooklyn in their plumbing van, only to then find themselves in the middle of an interdimensional conflict. But beyond that shared setup, it’s a vastly different journey this time. The 1993 version isn’t exactly a misunderstood classic, but it is unlike pretty much anything else that came before or after. Meanwhile, this computer-animated update is basically a series of right-down-the-middle cutscenes.

It’s harmless and amusing in spots, but stripped of way too much personality. It all starts with the voice of the stocky fellow at the center. Chris Pratt has some useful tools in his skill set, but bringing to life an iconically cartoonish ball of energy is not one of them. There’s even a joke about how he sounds nothing like the Mario of the video games! Now look, Bob Hoskins didn’t exactly sound like classic Mario either, but he brought something undeniably unique. Pratt’s mandate, meanwhile, appears to be to turn him into Bland Everyman Hero.

At least everyone else is able to stretch and have some fun. Black in particular has a blast, as he transforms Bowser into the dragon-turtle version of Tenacious D, while Fred Armisen’s Cranky Kong sounds just like his impression of Anna Nicole Smith trial judge Larry Seidlin. There are also plenty of reliable needle drops, though I’m not sure some of them have anything to do with Mario. (“Take on Me,” anyone?) Ultimately, my favorite part of The Super Mario Bros. Movie is the Illumination logo at the beginning that features a Minion attempting to drive a go-kart, which led me to realize that it’s high time to incorporate those little yellow fellas into the Nintendo universe.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is Recommended If You Like: Bright colors and simple plots

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Power Ups

‘Air’ Soars Across the Court

March 29, 2023

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They’re sailing through the air! (CREDIT: Ana Carballosa/© Amazon Conten Services LLC)

Starring: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Viola Davis, Jason Bateman, Chris Tucker, Chris Messina, Matthew Maher, Julius Tennon, Marlon Wayans, Jay Mohr

Director: Ben Affleck

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: R for Big League Potty Mouths

Release Date: April 5, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Nowadays, Nike stands victorious in pretty much every sector of the athletic shoe market. But there was a time when that wasn’t the case! So Air takes us back to 1984 to reveal the story of When Nike Met Mikey. As Michael Jordan was headed to the Chicago Bulls out of North Carolina, it wasn’t immediately obvious what sort of transcendent figure he would become. But there were a few folks who recognized something unprecedented, including Sonny Vaccaro (Matt Damon), the Nike executive who bet the company’s entire basketball division on a whole new paradigm with the introduction of the Air Jordan sneaker. What emerges is a story about not just peeking into the future, but also taking what’s yours and shaking off exploitation.

What Made an Impression?: Air is one of those movies that is just perfectly cast. I’m enthralled by everyone’s introductory scene, and I’m excited for them to return when they’re not on the screen. Damon slips right into Sonny’s everyman hustle, while the rest of the Nike office is rounded out by Chris Tucker’s indefatigable motormouth and Jason Bateman’s charming frustration. Matthew Maher is an absolute treat as Pete Moore, the excitable designer tasked with realizing the Air Jordan vision. Chris Messina is a hoot as Jordan’s egomaniacal agent, while Viola Davis brings it all home in an unsurprisingly commanding performance as Jordan’s mother Deloris. And of course, we can’t forget Ben Affleck directing himself as Nike founder Phil Knight with a mix of desperate world-weariness and lingering idealism.

With a movie about fairly recent history, you can have a lot of fun with 20/20 hindsight wisdom, and Air makes the most of it. Did Nike execs really doubt the cultural viability of Charles Barkley, who went on to become one of the most telegenic players and broadcasters in NBA history? Maybe, maybe not, but the folly of that massive misread is still worth plenty of snickers regardless of accuracy. Much more believable, at least from my vantage point, is the lack of awareness about Gonzaga University in the years before they became a college basketball powerhouse.

After all the fun and the bluster, Air ultimately reveals itself as a tribute to the importance of workers’ rights. It may seem counterintuitive to pin that message on a billionaire like Jordan, but those massive riches he accrued were never a guarantee. And the film makes a compelling argument that the highly individualized Air Jordan deal set a precedent that the workers of the sports world – i.e., the players – deserved autonomy and security, no matter how vast or pitiful their base compensation. If a sneaker can look cool AND make the world just a little bit better, then the human race is doing something just a little bit right.

Air is Recommended If You Like: Tracksuits, Car phones, Poring over game tape

Grade: 4 out of 5 Sneakers

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