‘Jackass Forever’ Just Might Be the Most Beautiful Film of the Year

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jackass forever (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and MTV Entertainment Studios)

Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Wee Man, Chris Pontius, Dave England, Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy, Sean “Poopies” McInerney, Jasper Dolphin, Zach Holmes, Rachel Wolfson, Eric Manaka, Compston “Darkshark” Wilson

Director: Jeff Tremaine

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: R for Ill-Advised Stunts That Frequently Involve Bodily Fluids and Result in All Sorts of Injuries

Release Date: February 4, 2022 (Theaters)

I’m tempted to say that the Jackass movies are like a descent into hell, but that actually couldn’t be further from the truth, paradoxically enough. Despite being filled with sadistic and masochistic mayhem, they’re joyous documents about best buds who are so grateful that they’re still able to spend this much time together doing what they love. A better description is to call these flicks endurance tests. Not so much for the performers, who presumably have rest and recovery periods built into their schedules, but for the audience, who must experience this gauntlet in a compressed hour-and-a-half go-round. I never watched the original MTV series, but that’s okay, because I believe that feature-length is actually the ideal format. There may be minimal narrative connective tissue, but it’s truly transportative to spend that much uninterrupted time in a space where all the rules of good taste and common sense have been annihilated.

The other great appeal of a new Jackass outing in 2022 is the opportunity to check in on everybody. It’s been more than two decades since the show premiered, and more than ten years since the last movie (unless you count the more story-driven Bad Grandpa). Most of the dialogue in Jackass Forever consists of Johnny Knoxville and his cohorts expressing wonderment and disbelief that they’re still alive and still doing “the same stupid shit.” (That is, when they’re not screaming in wit-and-expletive-filled agony.) At this point, this is perhaps the longest-running experiment to see how much physical and psychological torture human beings can endure. And the conclusion should be: a whole hell of a lot, but it helps a great deal if there’s an understanding that everybody is on the same team and same page as each other. It’s not for nothing that one intense moment includes a sudden shouting of consent-granting.

Jackass Forever is also an opportunity for the fanbase to take stock of how they themselves have grown and matured (or not) over the years. For me personally, I remain generally pretty good about convincing my brain and body that they can handle the most extreme action, though I can become easily overwhelmed by the most scatological discursion. However, I did discover one striking difference in my fortitude. 2006’s Jackass Number Two was my first exposure to the franchise, back when I was an 18-year-old college freshman. A notorious scene in that entry involving horse semen had me gagging, but a very similar episode in Forever was perfectly bearable. I guess that says something about what I’ve been exposed to during my adult years. I hope and imagine that most viewers of Jackass Forever will also learn something new about themselves.

jackass forever is Recommended If You Like: The X Games, Un Chien Andalou, The bonhomie of the Fast and Furious franchise

Grade: 4 out of 5 Bruises

It’s ‘The Worst Person in the World’ – Bang! You Hear Me? In the World!

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The Worst Person in the World (CREDIT: Oslo Pictures/NEON)

Starring: Renate Reinsve, Anders Danielsen Lie, Herbert Nordrum, Hans Olav Brenner, Helene Bjøreby, Vidar Sandem

Director: Joachim Trier

Running Time: 121 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Sex and a Wild Drug Trip

Release Date: February 4, 2022 (New York & LA)/February 11, 2022 (Additional Cities)

While watching a movie called The Worst Person in the World, I can’t help but wonder: would I  like to be The Worst Person in the World? Or maybe I could just settle for The Worst Person in the Neighborhood. But also, let’s backtrack, because who exactly is this titular Worst Person? Presumably it’s the main character, medical student-turned-psychology student-turned-photographer Julie (Renate Reinsve). But she seems perfectly fine to me! Maybe this is “worst” in the sense of Eric Andre declaring “Bird Up!” “the worst show on television” or a certain psychedelic rock band naming their best-of album The Worst of Jefferson Airplane. Whatever the explanation, this isn’t a mystery that actually needs to be solved. Whether worst, best, or somewhere in between, Julie’s story is plenty compelling.

If we must think of Julie as The Worst, then perhaps we can call out her insistent refusal to conform to everyone’s expectations of her. In particular, her boyfriend Aksel’s (Anders Danielsen Lie) demands can be quite constricting. He’s a comic book writer-artist whose popular anthropomorphic character Bobcat likes to get unbound and frisky. I guess he’s the Scandinavian Fritz the Cat. (In case the cast names hadn’t clued you in, this is a Norwegian film.) Aksel insists that Bobcat is fun and transgressive, while his critics hold him up as the epitome of misogyny. Julie’s not much of a fan either, but the bigger conflict in their relationship is that Aksel just doesn’t really listen to her or see her for who she really is. Eventually, she leaves him for another guy named Eivind, and there is definitely a spark there. Everything just feels more natural with him. But eventually, that fizzles out as well, and this time it’s a little more inexplicable.

So in conclusion, I don’t think I would ever want to be The Worst Person in the World, at least not the version that Julie exemplifies. It looks way too existentially fraught. But I’d be happy to be her friend!. Although maybe we all have our own Worst Person within each of us, and it’s up to us to tease out the Best Version of our Worst Selves.

Also of note: I’ve only seen one of director Joachim Trier’s other films, but I’ve heard that he has a reputation for crafting endings that make you realize that you were watching a completely different movie this whole time. That trend holds up here to a degree, though I would add that The Worst Person in the World both is and isn’t what it appears to be. It’s all about perspective.

The Worst Person in the World is Recommended If You Like: Discussions about misogyny and mansplaining, Random flights of fancy within an otherwise not-fanciful film, Harry Nilsson and Christopher Cross on the soundtrack

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Relationships

Mothers, Daughters, and Sisters Look Out for Each Other in Chadian Oscar Submission ‘Lingui, The Sacred Bonds’

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Lingui, The Sacred Bonds (CREDIT: MUBI/Screenshot)

Starring: Achouackh Abakar Souleyman, Rihane Khalil Alio, Youssouf Djaoro, Briya Gomdigue, Saleh Sambo

Director: Mahamat-Saleh Haroun

Running Time: 87 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (It Would Probably Be PG-13 If It Were Rated)

Release Date: February 4, 2022 (Limited Theaters)

Lingui, The Sacred Bonds is north-central African country Chad’s official 94th Academy Awards entry for Best International Feature Film. Set in a village near the capital of N’Djamena, it focuses on singler mother Amina (Achouackh Abakar Souleyman), who discovers that her 15-year-old daughter Maria (Rihane Khalil Alio) has been kicked out of school. The reason: she’s pregnant. Maria wants an abortion, but that’s going to be a little difficult in a country where it’s illegal and in a Muslim community where it’s strictly forbidden. Furthermore, they don’t have anywhere near enough money they would need to work around those obstacles. So what we’ve got here is yet the latest example that female bodily autonomy is a frequently salient cinematic topic around the world.

I don’t know very much about Chad, so a movie like Lingui is one of the most accessible opportunities for someone like me to be exposed to that part of the world. As far as I can tell, this is a fairly accurate portrayal of this scenario. I’m sure there are embellishments, and temporal contractions, just as there are in any movie from any country. But writer-director Mahamat-Saleh Haroun is a Chadian native, so I feel safe in assuming that he’s providing a unique perspective to me and anyone else who’s never spent any time in his homeland.

If you’re wondering if you would enjoy Lingui beyond its ability to expose you to life in Chad, here’s how I would pitch it: it’s a heist film, and the target is the patriarchy. Instead of a crew of career criminals ripping off casinos, it’s a sisterhood sneakily achieving independence as they ignore the dictates from the controlling men in their lives who are ultimately none the wiser that they’ve been had. The oppressive system remains in place, but those in power look like doofuses for just a little bit. There’s a great moment towards the end when Maria calls a local imam annoying after he keeps asking Amina why she hasn’t been attending prayers lately, and then he basically just wanders off, kind of stunned by the futility of his demands. That’s Lingui in microcosm: laughing at The Man as much as you can so that he doesn’t break you completely.

Lingui, The Sacred Bonds is Recommended If You Like: International cinema, slice-of-life dramas, Dusty village roads

Grade: 4 out of 5 Secret Operations

The ‘Belle’ of the January 2022 Cinematic Ball

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Belle (©2021 STUDIO CHIZU)

Starring (English Dubbed Version): Kylie McNeill, Paul Castro Jr., Ben Lepley, Jessica DiCicco, Manny Jacinto, Brandon Engman, Hunter Schafer, Chace Crawford, Ellyn Stern, Andrew Kishino, Noelle McGrath, David Chen, Jessica Gee George, Barbara Goodson, Martha Harms, Wendee Lee, Julie Nathanson, Kiff VandenHeuvel

Director: Mamoru Hosoda

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: January 14, 2022 (Theaters)

The Mamoru Hosoda-directed Belle is the Anime Teenage Bullying version of Beauty and the Beast, and it has me wondering: would I like to be a Belle? Let’s explore this particular Belle’s story to find out.

Her real name is Suzu, and she’s a shy Japanese teenager with a dead mom, but then her titular pop star alter ego becomes a sensation in the virtual reality world known as “U.” Everybody loves Belle, just as much as they hate “The Dragon,” a scar-covered loner pariah. But Suzu/Belle sees in him a kindred spirit. Meanwhile, everybody is trying to sniff out his true identity: is he that tortured artist, or that rich reclusive housewife, or that world-famous baseball player? Chances are that this Dragon Beast will be best off if Suzu can track him down before anybody else does.

So, to answer my question: I think it’d be pretty cool to have a Belle persona if it means that everybody would get to hear my singing online. It gets a little overwhelming for Suzu, but I’d make sure to log off regularly as needed. As for the Beast portion of the story, there’s a climactic scene in which Suzu takes a train by herself to see him IRL, and that certainly fulfills the journey, but I would change it just a bit by making sure to bring a crew along with me.

Grade: 100 High Notes

Do You Want to See Peter Dinklage Sing About Vicarious Love? Then Maybe Check Out the Latest Version of ‘Cyrano’

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Cyrano (CREDIT: Peter Mountain/Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures)

Starring: Peter Dinklage, Haley Bennett, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Ben Mendelsohn, Bashir Salahuddin

Director: Joe Wright

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Some War Violence and Mild Suggestiveness

Release Date: January 28, 2022 (Limited Theaters)/February 11, 2022 (Wide Expansion)

If you’re a fan of classic romances, you’re probably familiar with the story of Cyrano de Bergerac. He’s in love with a woman named Roxanne, but because of his insecurity related to his distractingly large and pointy nose, he struggles to admit his true feelings. Meanwhile, Roxanne falls in love with another man named Christian, and that infatuation is profoundly deepened by Christian wooing her with the words provided to him by Cyrano, who knows Roxanne better than anyone. But in this version, it’s what Cyrano lacks on his body that’s causing the problem, as he’s portrayed by Peter Dinklage, and he fundamentally doesn’t believe that Roxanne (here played by Haley Bennett) could ever truly love someone who’s only four and a half feet tall.

Also unique about this version of Cyrano is that it’s – wait for it – a musical. Much of the vocal duties fall to the title lover, and Dinklage is certainly up for the assignment. He has a rich, soulful baritone that’s perfect for the constant (but incomplete) soul-searching that Cyrano is always up to. You can count on him for talking to himself, which can be good, but not so much when it prevents him from fully and honestly talking to other people.

Dinklage’s singing reminds me of Russell Crowe’s in Les Misérables, and I mean that’s a compliment. Crowe was my favorite singer in that movie! It would be distracting if Dinklage’s Cyrano were more inclined to difficult vocal acrobatics; instead, he’s singing because he just can’t help it, just as he can’t help but miss out on the fullness of himself. As for the rest of the main cast’s crooning abilities, Bennett and Kelvin Harris Jr. as Christian also both acquit themselves admirably.

Overall, if you’re looking for a love story that lives on the knife’s edge of tragedy and consummation, then Cyrano ought to do the trick. Everyone is passionate and ready to go, and if you don’t recognize at least some of their emotions in yourself, I’m not sure you have a fully functioning heart.

Cyrano is Recommended If You Like: Flowy dresses, Stubble, Singing by yourself while standing outside a wall

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Letters

Locating ‘Parallel Mothers’ on My Review Axis

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Parallel Mothers (CREDIT: Sony Pictures Classics/Screenshot)

Starring: Penélope Cruz, Milena Smit, Israel Elejalde, Aitana Sánchez-Gijón, Rossy de Palma, Julieta Serrano

Director: Pedro Almodóvar

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 24, 2021 (Theaters)

Those mothers aren’t parallel! On the contrary, they intersect quite a bit!

But I’m okay with that! It probably would have been a worse movie if they had remained fully parallel. And I’m also okay with the title not being 100% mathematically correct. Pedro Almodóvar is more of a poet than a professor, after all. But now I’d kinda like to see him make a movie about a calculus professor…

Grade: Top-Notch Soap Operatics

 Is This the Sixty-First Review of ‘The Scary of Sixty-First’?

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CREDIT: Utopia/Screenshot

Starring: Madeline Quinn, Betsey Brown, Dasha Nekrasova, Mark Rapaport

Director: Dasha Nekrasova

Running Time: 81 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: December 2, 2021 (Select Theaters)/December 24, 2021 (Digital)

I think Dasha Nekrasova is one of those people who’s living on another planet. Like metaphorically. Or maybe even also literally, if the multiverse theory is to be believed…

Anyway, you might know Nekrasova as Comfrey on Succession, or as co-host of the dirtbag left podcast Red Scare, or for her breakthrough performance as “Sailor Socialism.” Now she’s co-written, directed, and starred in a movie about a couple of girls who move into an apartment that supposedly formerly played host to the pedophiliac exploits of Jeffrey Epstein. There are some solid low-budget creeper scares and a few demented laughs, but mostly it’ll have you going “What chu talkin’ ’bout?” and “Why did you say it that way?” It’s worth it for a trip to the cinematic underground.

Grade: 3 out of 5 Pentagrams

‘Scream’ is Still Nailing the Horror Zeitgeist

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Scream 2022 (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Jack Quaid, Mikey Madison, Mason Gooding, Dylan Minnette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Marley Shelton, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Kyle Gallner, Sonia Ben Ammar, Roger L. Jackson

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for A Lot of Blood, and a Few Chats About Getting It On

Release Date: January 14, 2022 (Theaters)

The latest Scream movie is the fifth in the slasher series, but it’s not called “Scream 5.” Instead, it’s just called “Scream,” exactly like the very first entry. This is the latest example of an annoying trend in which sequels that also work as reboots to long-running franchises have the exact same title as the original, with 2018’s Halloween perhaps the most notorious example. I had convinced myself not to talk about the title in my review, figuring that it would be more interesting to focus on the content of the actual movie. But then I watched the movie, and it turned out that there’s a very good reason for that recycled title. Because this time around, the Woodsboro stabbing crew is aiming its knife at those franchise “requels” and all the other cinema that inspires a certain breed of toxic fandom.

More than 25 years after the first killing spree, you could be forgiven for wondering how there still could possibly be anyone connected to Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) with enough bloodlust to justify another sequel. The answer is that this time around, the motivation is less logical, and therefore more brutal and disturbing. You know the sorts of people who complain about how the likes of latter-day Star Wars and female-led Ghostbusters have destroyed their childhoods? What if they were so upset that they resorted to murder to set things right? That’s a premise that could conceivably stand on its own as an original horror flick, but it feels all too appropriate that instead it has commandeered one of the most beloved scary movie franchises of all time.

In some ways, this latest Scream is like an original effort, insofar as it focuses on the new faces ahead of the legacy characters much more so than any of the other adventures of Woodsboro. But of course, it’s still very much a part of the franchise insomuch as it follows the formula of a killer (or killers) lurking within a friend group of horny young people while terrorizing them with creepy phone calls. (Roger L. Jackson returns once again as the voice of Ghostface, and his deep cadence sounds a lot like the deep, steady tones of original Scream director Wes Craven, to the point that I wondered if Craven had before his 2015 passing recorded some dialogue to be used later.) Don’t worry too much about staleness, though, as there are some zigs when you expect zags, as characters either don’t know – or don’t care – about the rules that supposedly determine who dies and how in a horror movie. Co-directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett have a knack for keeping audiences on their toes like this, which they demonstrated amply in their 2019 bloodbath Ready or Not.

At times, the acting may skew a little more melodramatic than is advisable, but overall, Scream remains as remarkably fun and fresh as it’s ever been. Where originally there were conversations about how blade-wielders patiently stalk their victims, now we have discussions about how the newest generation of horror tastemakers are enthralled by “elevated horror” like The Babadook and Hereditary, and how long-in-the-tooth franchises need to find that sweet spot of “not too different, not too repetitive” to succeed. Scream 2022 finds that sweet spot, and goes in for the kill.

Scream (2022) is Recommended If You Like: Defending all the Scream sequels, Ready or Not, You’re Next, Talking with your fellow movie -obsessed friends, Film Twitter, Listening to and/or hosting movie podcasts

Grade: 4 out of 5 Requels

‘The Power of the Dog’ is Not for the Dogs

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The Power of the Dog (CREDIT: Kirsty Griffin/Netflix)

Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Kirsten Dunst, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Jesse Plemons, Thomasin McKenzie

Director: Jane Campion

Running Time: 126 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: November 17, 2021 (Theaters)/December 1, 2021 (Netflix)

I’m pretty sure there weren’t any dogs in The Power of the Dog. Actually, now that I think about it, there may have been a few mutts running around the ranch. But none of them had any speaking parts! (Or barking parts, for that matter.) Yes, I know the title is a metaphor from the Bible, so I wasn’t genuinely expecting any unforgettable canine thespian turns. But still! At least Kirsten Dunst is also around, though she spends most of her time drunk and in bed. What up with that?! Anyway, I didn’t think Benedict Cumberbatch’s character was too bad. Certainly not the friendliest, but I could deal with him.

Grade: I Do Not Want to Live in 1925 Montana

‘The 355’ Features Lady Spies Fighting Off a Cyber-MacGuffin

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The 355 (CREDIT: Robert Viglasky/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Diane Kruger, Penélope Cruz, Fan Bingbing, Sebastian Stan, Edgar Ramirez

Director: Simon Kinberg

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Very Loud Guns and Some Torture

Release Date: January 7, 2022 (Theaters)

Like pretty much every other spycraft movie ever, The 355 left me reeling with bewilderment over my lack of understanding about what exactly was going on. About 20 minutes in, I wondered, “Did I miss something while looking down at my phone or taking a swig of water?” That’s pretty par for the course. What’s less par is the fact that this particular spy movie stars a quintet of ladies who have all garnered plenty of awards recognition over the course of their careers. The title, after all, is a reference to a code name used by a female agent during the American Revolution. But ultimately that feminine energy makes hardly any difference whatsoever.

The 355 (CREDIT: Universal Pictures)

Basically there’s some to-do about some MacGuffin that could apparently destroy the world if it winds up in the wrong hands. So a team of allies and former rivals from all around the world forms on the fly to ensure that this doesn’t happen. There’s also some business about Jessica Chastain’s CIA agent character being betrayed by her partner (Sebastian Stan). I couldn’t figure out what his motivation was. Ultimately I began to entertain the idea that perhaps these actors were just as oblivious as I was about the details of their characters’ mission. They never betrayed any doubt in their performances, but it’s kind of interesting to consider the amount of blindness that could potentially go into pulling off a plot this knotty. Also, Penélope Cruz’s character is a therapist, and it’s clear that she is not used to field work that’s this high-stakes. So I kind of wish the focus had been more on her.

There might be some readers of this review who are shouting at me, “What are you talking about?! This made perfect sense! I know exactly what happened!” But a comprehensible plot is only half the battle here. There also needs to be style and momentum. Alas, though, The 355 for the most part alternates between deafening gun shootouts and frequently whispered conversations. Oh well, that’s January cinema for ya. The nonsense has to go somewhere.

The 355 is Recommended If You Like: The promise of a “Dewey Decimal System for Cyberattacks”

Grade: 2 out of 5 Common Enemies

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