Starring: Katie Douglas, Aaron Abrams, Carson MacCormac, Kevin Durand, Will Sasso, Vincent Muller, Cassandra Potenza, Verity Marks, Ayo Solanke, Alexandre Martin Deakin, Daina Leitold, Jean-Jacques Javier, Bradley Sawatzky, Dylan McEwan, Kaitlyn Bacon, Samantha Hutchings
Director: Eli Craig
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: May 9, 2025 (Theaters)
Now that I’ve watched Clown in a Cornfield, it’s time to answer the question: would I like to live in a town filled with Frendos? And the answer is: absolutely!
Perhaps that response surprises you, because you never thought that I had a death wish. And you’d be right in that regard. Although perhaps you’ve reasoned that I’ve surmised I would be safe from the massacre since I’m no longer a doofus high schooler. This is all mighty fine deduction, but here’s the thing: I never said I wanted to live among murderous Frendos.
So yeah, as long as we can remove the impalings and the decapitations, then Kettle Springs, Missouri looks like a perfectly idyllic location to inhale some burgers and milkshakes at the local diner and go for a parade. (I also liked it when Mandy’s dad from Georgie & Mandy showed up.)
Grade: 3 Viral Videos out of ⅕ of a Tragic Mom Backstory
The Impossible Man (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Skydance)
Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Esai Morales, Pom Klementieff, Henry Czerny, Holt McCallany, Janet McTeer, Nick Offerman, Hannah Waddingham, Tramell Tillman, Angela Bassett, Shea Whigham, Greg Tarzan Davis, Charles Parnell, Mark Gatiss, Rolf Saxon, Lucy Tulugarjuk
Director: Christopher McQuarrie
Running Time: 169 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Near-Death Experiences
Release Date: May 23, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: It’s all come down to this. All those previous impossible missions that Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) pulled off over the decades? We thought they were more or less self-contained. But instead, it turns out that they were all part of a vast global conspiracy to sow widespread confusion and establish a new world order. This is set to be established by an artificial intelligence entity known as, in fact, “The Entity.” It is apparently going to accomplish this by infecting every connected device on the planet and then – as far as I can tell – launching every nuclear weapon and also just generally making everyone distrustful of everyone else. Some guy named Gabriel (Esai Morales) is trying to usher The Entity along to its destiny, while Ethan and his IMF crew attempt to do the opposite with their precision timing and the latest batch of stakes-raising, death-defying stunts.
What Made an Impression?: They’ve Got So Much to Say:The Final Reckoning definitely gives off end-of-the-series vibes, although I’m sure Cruise and the rest of the creative team are open to future installments for as long as he remains ageless. In the meantime, though, this chapter definitely closes the book on something. And it’s a big ol’ slam, clocking in at nearly three hours. Those minutes are filled with a trio of major set pieces, and plenty of talking in between about how those set pieces will be accomplished. And when I say “plenty,” I mean, “oh so very many plenty.” I really don’t think there needed to be this much dialogue for such an action-oriented flick. That’s not to say that the Mission: Impossible flicks ought to be silent (although that might be kind of cool if they were), but I personally would have advised a sleeker design. Hey, Remember Those Times Way Back When?: When it comes to long-running action series, M:I is kind of the antithesis of Fast & Furious, insofar as the former sheds several of its supporting characters in between installments without any fanfare, whereas the latter seems to just collecting them for perpetuity until it’s bursting at the seams. To be fair, there are still a few IMF mainstays hanging around, although Ethan’s female counterparts have a tendency to disappear no matter how beloved they are by fans. The Final Reckoning takes a somewhat different approach by explicitly drawing upon some of the earlier entries in ways that would have felt impossible just a few years earlier. And that’s kind of thrilling for those of us whose favorite M:I chapters seemed like they’d been completely forgotten. Timely Gobbledygook: Cautionary tales about artificial intelligence are so hot right now. But frankly The Entity doesn’t have anything to do with any real-life A.I. On the contrary, it’s just a profoundly vague MacGuffin. Or should I call it the villain? Can the MacGuffin be the villain? I think it is in this case. Anyway, it’s all just an excuse for the most baroque modern blockbuster action around, so whatever.
Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning is Recommended If You Like: Parking your butt while the obsessive man does his thing
Starring: Tim Robinson, Paul Rudd, Kate Mara, Jack Dylan Grazer, Josh Segarra, Billy Bryk, Jason Veasey, Jon Glaser, Eric Rahill, Connor O’Malley, Carmen Christopher, Craig Frank, Omar Torres, Jacob Ming-Trent, Daniel London, Whitmer Thomas, Raphael Sbarge, Ivy Wolk, Meredith Garretson
Director: Andrew DeYoung
Running Time: 97 Minutes
Rating: R for Questionable Language and Some Strange Trips
Release Date: May 9, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Craig Waterman (Tim Robinson) doesn’t have many close friends. Or any friends at all really. He does at least have his wife Tami (Kate Mara) and teenage son Steven (Jack Dylan Grazer) to keep him company, although they’re usually busy doing their own thing each night while he just sits around and stares at his phone. But then one day, Tami encourages him to go hang out with their new neighbor, local weatherman Austin Carmichael (Paul Rudd), and it’s like a new portal of transcendent male bonding has been opened. Everything is going just sublimely, that is, until Craig meets Austin’s other friends and makes an absurdly terrible impression on them. Austin quickly insists that the friendship is now terminated, but once you’ve connected with Craig, that impression doesn’t go away so easily. As Craig does his bizarre best to hold on, his entire life threatens to spiral apart completely.
What Made an Impression?: What To Do If You Think You Should Leave: If you’re most familiar with Tim Robinson via his demented Netflix sketch show I Think You Should Leave, then you should definitely know that Friendship is essentially a feature-length ITYSL routine. Which leads us to quite the existential conundrum: what is the base level of unhinged in this reality? Craig is unsurprisingly more divergent than anyone else, but it’s not as if Austin is as put-together as he always presents himself. And what are we to make of Craig’s family’s casual acceptance of his eccentricities? Is he the same man that Tami married all those years ago? Does Steven see this as normal (or at least semi-normal) behavior because he’s simply never had any other dad? They occasionally express frustration when he goes too far, but in general they’re on his side. Or at least, they’re much more on his side than you might expect. And honestly, that’s kind of sweet. But also concerning. But also weirdly heartwarming considering the context. A Fair Warning, Though: Counterpoint to that last paragraph: Craig does act illegally on multiple occasions, mostly in the form of trespassing. He also has a major meltdown in front of a big client at his marketing gig. Quite frankly, it’s a wonder he’s managed to hold on to a job or maintain any place in society for as long as he has. But also, this is a world where people keep saying “this new Marvel” or “that new Marvel” instead of specifying the actual title of the movie they’re talking about, so who knows what’s what? Where Are We?: One of the key plot drivers of Friendship is a series of packages addressed to Austin mistakenly ending up in the Waterman driveway. The camera lets us see the labels, revealing that this town is “Clovis, USA” – no state provided. So where is Clovis, you might ask? (I certainly did.) Well, it appears that there are Clovises in California and New Mexico, but the zip code on the label is 06437, which puts us in Connecticut. But I wasn’t getting Constitution State vibes from this movie. Although, I wasn’t getting Opposite of Connecticut vibes either. Instead, I was mostly getting Nowheresville Purgatory vibes. What? A Trip?: At one point, Craig licks a venomous toad to go on a hallucinogenic journey. And he does in fact take off to another plane of existence, but it’s pretty mundane and bogus, although also strangely amusing. That bluntly quirky Interruptus sums up the whole package.
Friendship is Recommended If You Like: Questioning everything
getting her first real six string (CREDIT: Hulu/Screenshot)
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Clown in a Cornfield (Theaters)
–Fight or Flight (Theaters)
–Friendship (Theaters)
–Summer of 69 (May 9 on Hulu) – Chloe Fineman offers sex tips; Jillian Bell’s directorial debut.
TV
–RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 10 Premiere (May 9 on Paramount+) – They’re doing a bracket-style tournament this year.
Music
-Arcade Fire, Pink Elephant
-The Head and the Heart, Aperture
-Kali Uchis, Sincerely
-Thom Yorke and Mark Pritchard, Tall Tales
Sports
-PGA Championship (May 15-18 on ESPN and CBS)
Starring: Emeraude Toubia, José Zúñiga, David Dastmalchian, Paul Ben-Victor, Diana Lein, Emilia Faucher, Constanza Gutierrez
Director: Felipe Vargas
Running Time: 88 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: May 2, 2025 (Theaters)
Rosario is a fairly typical curse-based horror movie, as a greedy spirit comes to collect what it’s been promised upon the passing of the title character’s (Emeraude Toubia) grandmother in her Brooklyn apartment in the middle of a massive snowstorm. This one’s a bit unique insofar as it’s based on the Palo religion, which arose from African traditions mixed with Catholicism. There are some boos here and there, some family trauma over there. You get the picture.
But the moment I knew that Rosario was really cursed was when she tried to skedaddle out of abuela’s and back on to the subway, only to have some off-screen authority figure bellow at her, “Subway’s closed!” What in the NYC mirror universe?! This is the famous City That Never Sleeps that we’re talking about. Sure, a blizzard might cause a delay or two, but you’re not a true Big Apple if you haven’t waited two hours for a train. I can deal with creepy grandmas, but a fully suspended subway system? I’m still catching my breath.
Starring: Thomas B. Kin Chong, Richard “Cheech” Marin
Director: David L. Bushell
Running Time: 123 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: April 25, 2025 (Theaters)
Will Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie live up to the promise of its title? Well, not for me, because this is in fact the first Cheech & Chong movie I’ve ever seen. Although, I suppose it is possible that I could go the rest of my days without checking out any of their previous co-starring features. But that’s definitely less likely at this point! Promoting the totality of your career certainly isn’t a terrible idea for a documentary, I must say. Especially if it’s tinged with bittersweetness (emphasis on “bitter”) that’ll leave viewers feeling “Hmm.”
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Rosario (Theaters)
–The Surfer (Theaters)
–Thunderbolts* (Theaters)
TV
-Conan O’Brien: The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor (May 4 on Netflix) – Honoring Conan.
–Conan O’Brien Must Go Season 2 (May 8 on Max) – More of Conan.
–Poker Face Season 2 Premiere (May 8 on Peacock)
Music
-Eric Church, Evangeline vs. the Machine
-Suzanne Vega, Flying with Angels
A Warfarer and an Amateur (CREDIT: A24; 20th Century Studios/Screenshot)
Warfare
Starring: Joseph Quinn, Charles Melton, D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai, Will Poulter, Cosmo Jarvis, Kit Connor, Finn Bennett, Taylor John Smith, Michael Gandolfini, Adain Bradley, Noah Centineo, Evan Holtzman, Henry Zaga, Alex Brockdorff, Nathan Altai, Donya Hussen, Aaron Deakins
Directors: Ray Mendoza and Alex Garland
Running Time: 95 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: April 11, 2025 (Theaters)
The Amateur
Starring: Rami Malek, Laurence Fishburne, Rachel Brosnahan, Caitríona Balfe, Michael Stuhlbarg, Holt McCallany, Julianne Nicholson, Danny Sapani, Jon Bernthal, Adrian Martinez, Marc Rissmann, Joseph Millson, Barbara Probst, Alice Hewkin, Henry Garrett, Takehiro Hira
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julian McMahon, Nic Cassim, Miranda Tapsell, Alexander Bertrand, Justin Rosniak, Rahel Romahn, Finn Little
Director: Lorcan Finnegan
Running Time: 103 Minutes
Rating: R for Toxic Masculinity and References to Suicide
Release Date: May 2, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: A native of Western Australia (Nicolas Cage) is absolutely dead-set on buying a house for his family in the neighborhood where he grew up, and he’s just as dead-set on taking his son (Finn Little) out surfing on the nearby beach. Trouble is, the locals don’t approve. It’s a public beach, but that’s not exactly the message being delivered by Scally (Julian McMahon) and his crew, who are sure to punch you and steal your board if you try to press your luck. But the Surfer is undeterred, as he stays put in the parking lot for as long as it takes to obtain what he’s owed. But the police and anyone else who could possibly lend a sympathetic ear sure aren’t helpful. So he has only himself to rely on, which isn’t exactly good news, as he gradually loses his sanity and all of his possessions as the blazing sun rips his skin apart. But maybe, just maybe, his stubborn willpower will be enough to eventually turn the tide in his favor.
What Made an Impression?: This Test Has All the Wrong Answers: The explanation for why everyone is so firmly against the Surfer is narratively satisfying, but it is not morally satisfying. It’s an endurance game that makes for a bona fide psychological thriller, but it’ll tear your soul apart if you try to reconcile it with a belief in a reasonable universe. Plan accordingly. Lost in the Cage: On a scale of Pig to Vampire’s Kiss, this is about a National Treasure on the Cage-o-meter, minus any semblance of mental health. The feature-length breakdown on display is like muscle memory for Nicky C. at this point. The Boys from Oz: I spent most of The Surfer thinking that Scally was being played by Murray Bartlett, so the revelation that it was actually Julian McMahon was a bit of a relief, since Murray usually portrays much more pleasant fellows, whereas McMahon has a reputation for bringing scallywags to life. Still, I guess there’s something sinisterly delicious about fiftysomething Sydney residents with sharp cheekbones, isn’t there? It’s Not Worth It: If The Surfer teaches us anything, I hope it’s this: spend time with your family, and be flexible! If buying that fancy mansion means keeping yourself away from the people that are supposed to live in it with you, then you can live somewhere else. And if hanging ten on your favorite waves means getting pummeled to a crisp along the way, I promise there are better spots to do it!
The Surfer is Recommended If You Like: The idea of The Game crossed with (Insert Your Favorite Surfing Movie Here)
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