Movie Review: What ‘Fresh’ Hell is This?!

1 Comment

Fresh (CREDIT: Searchlight Pictures. © 2022 20th Century Studios All Rights Reserved)

Starring: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Sebastian Stan, Jonica T. Gibbs, Charlotte Le Bon, Dayo Okeniyi, Andrea Bang, Brett Dier

Director: Mimi Cave

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for Plenty of Blood and a Decent Amount of Flesh

Release Date: March 4, 2022 (Hulu)

Where do monsters exist in today’s society? If you look to Fresh for the answer to that question, you’ll be met with some terrifying, exhilarating results. To wit: modern dating sucks, but also: what’s in our food? It’s a lot to keep track of for someone who wants to live both deliciously and ethically!

For Noa (Daisy Edgar-Jones), she’s endured enough epically bad dates that you could easily imagine a Netflix exec hitting her up out of the blue and giving her carte blanche to produce whatever she wants out of all that raw material. Somehow, though, she’s actually in a headspace to accept a proposition in the grocery produce aisle. That’s where she meets a charming fellow by the name of Steve (Sebastian Stan), and next thing you know, they’re heading off for a weekend away together. This is the exact sort of meet-cute that tends to only happen in the movies, and everyone involved in making Fresh is trying to convince us that it should stay that way.

This is the point in my review in which I tell my readers that I am going to do my best to avoid specifics from here on out, as this is the sort of movie that works hard to keep its premise under wraps. The opening credits don’t even arrive until about a half hour in. (Perhaps starting a bit of a trendlet in that regard alongside Drive My Car.) I knew that the scares were coming, but if you go in completely cold, you might think that this is just a cynical comedy about the Tinder era. But everything is just edgy enough, and the colors are rendered in such vivid, bloody detail, that you can probably sense the horror lurking. But is it Noa or Steve pulling the strings as the puppetmaster behind it all?

Like so much great horror, Fresh zeroes in on an  examination of people who live beyond the morals of civilized society. It’s despicable, but also intoxicating to those who lap up these visions of monstrousness. I almost found myself rooting for Noa and Steve to end up together despite the massive degree of exploitation at the core of their connection, even as I was also rooting for the captive to escape in a cathartic turning of the tables. Rest assured, that comeuppance will come, and it will be glorious. In the meantime, we can revel in the bloody beauty from the safety of our viewing devices and maybe learn a thing or two about keeping that darkness cooped up where it belongs.

Fresh is Recommended If You Like: Raw, Promising Young Woman, American Psycho, Get Out, NBC’s Hannibal

Grade: 4 out of 5 Slices

If You Were Promised Robots and Got ‘After Yang,’ What Would You Think?

1 Comment

After Yang (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Colin Farrell, Jodie Turner-Smith, Justin H. Min, Malea Emma Tjandrawidjaja, Haley Lu Richardson, Sarita Choudhury, Clifton Collins Jr., Ava DeMary, Brett Dier

Director: Kogonada

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: PG for A Mortality-Tinged Milieu

Release Date: March 4, 2022 (Theaters and Showtime)

After Yang opens with a really rousing dance number that establishes an initial joyous note, although the rest of the film quickly settles into a much more reflective and melancholy mood. This is a near-future vision in which “techno-sapiens”serve as live-in babysitters, although the particular techno-sapien we get to know is really more of a big brother. For those of you who are so excited by the potential of robotics that you just can’t keep still, After Yang‘s opening choreography is for you. This dance session is an opportunity for the whole family – dad Jake (Colin Farrell), mom Kyra (Jodie Turner-Smith), young daughter Mika (Malea Emma Tjandrawidjaja), and android Yang (Justin H. Min) – to get up and really get moving. It also appears to be some sort of worldwide tradition that other families of four are participating in. It’s a delightfully colorful good time, and quite frankly, I wanted it to last forever.

I like to think that Yang’s family is also chasing that dancing high for the rest of the film, if only metaphorically. (Or perhaps literally as well.) The trouble is, Yang starts to break down, and he’s an older model, so it’s difficult to find a place that will get him back to his old self. That sends Mika into a funk, as she can’t find the strength to go to school without Yang to rely on. I know how she’s feeling. It’s like trying to shake your sillies out the way you’ve always done, but then you discover that your shins have suddenly become massively inflamed. Indeed, the entire family starts behaving like they’ve lost a limb.

But maybe they can grow a new one back? In Jake’s efforts to figure out what to do with Yang, he ends up on a sort of spiritual quest, as he examines Yang’s memories and seems to be traversing new planes of existence. He discovers that Yang may have somehow developed a fully human romantic relationship, but the real kicker is the alternate perspective it provides to his family history. After Yang is pondering the big questions that science fiction has been pondering for decades, centuries even. That examination can be sublime, but it can also be frustrating, because definitive answers never really come. Sometimes it’s best to just devote your energy to dancing it all off, but the journey you take when you can’t do that is likely to stick in your craw.

After Yang is Recommended If You Like: Just Dance, Home movies, Contemplation

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Memories

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 2/25/22

Leave a comment

Dicktown (CREDIT: FX Networks/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
-2022 Oscar Nominated Shorts (Theaters)

TV
-Screen Actors Guild Awards (February 27 on TNT and TBS)
Killing Eve Season 4 Premiere (February 27 on BBC America) – Final Season Alert!
Better Things Season 5 Premiere (February 28 on FX) – Final Season Alert!
Dicktown Season 2 Premiere (March 3 on FXX) – This was originally part of Cake.
The Dropout Series Premiere (March 3 on Hulu) – Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes.
Our Flag Means Death Series Premiere (March 3 on HBO Max) – Silly pirates.

Music
-Dashboard Confessional, All the Truth That I Can Tell
-Judy Collins, Spellbound
-Tears for Fears, The Tipping Point – I recently saw these guys on CBS Sunday Morning.

A 3-Hour Car?

1 Comment

Drive My Car (CREDIT: Criterion Collection/Screenshot)

Starring: Hidetoshi Nishijima, Tōko Miura

Director: Ryusuke Hamaguchi

Running Time: 179 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: November 24, 2021

When faced with the prospect of watching Drive My Car, I summoned the memory of conquering the summit of Toni Erdmann. Back in 2016, I thought, “A 3-hour German comedy? A 3-HOUR GERMAN COMEDY?!” But then I of course bought a ticket and absolutely loved it. So would a 3-hour Japanese movie about chauffeuring enjoy the same fate from me? Alas, not quite.

I at least appreciated the uniqueness of the effort, and the Waiting for Godot scenes were certainly fun. But I never appreciated the sheer heft of the whole thing. Oh well, at least it put me in a reflective mood.

Grade: 108 Beep Beeps out of 180 Yeahs

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 2/18/22

Leave a comment

Severance (CREDIT: Apple TV+)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Dog (Theaters) – Starring Dog.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (February 18 on Netflix) – Here we go again…

TV
Severance Series Premiere (February 18 on Apple TV+) – Directed (mostly) by Ben Stiller, starring Adam Scott.
Last Week Tonight Season 9 Premiere (February 20 on HBO)

Music
-Beach House, Once Twice Melody

‘Dog’ Review: Channing Tatum and His Four-Legged Friend Find Their Way Back

1 Comment

Dog (CREDIT: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/SMPSP/© 2022 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved)

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jane Adams, Kevin Nash, Q’orianka Kilcher, Ethan Suplee, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Bill Burr, Nicole LaLiberte, Luke Forbes, Ronnie Gene Blevins

Directors: Channing Tatum and Reid Carolin

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Veterans Struggling with Civilian Life

Release Date: February 18, 2022 (Theaters)

Dog is basically The Odyssey, but as if Odysseus’ crew were replaced by a military-trained Belgian Malinois named Lulu. She absolutely has to get to the funeral of the soldier who handled her, and Army Ranger Jackson Briggs (Channing Tatum) takes on the assignment to convince his superiors that he’s fit enough to head out on another tour of duty. So they trek down the Pacific Coast, and along the way they endure several tests of character and meet a fascinating array of folks. It’s a typical road trip buddy comedy of opposites who of course eventually realize that they’ve got more in common than they thought. They’re both experiencing PTSD after all, and they can be each other’s emotional support if they can just manage to open up.

At only an hour and a half long, you might expect Dog to have a fairly straightforward plot, but it’s actually a series of non-stop detours. As Jackson makes his first stop at a hipster bar in Portland and then finds himself in the throes of a tantric threesome, I found myself wondering what the heck was going on. That thought remained top of mind throughout, as the randomness of Jackson and Lulu’s excursions just kept pulling up. One day, they’re being held captive by a pot farmer who suspects espionage, and then soon after, Jackson’s impersonating a blind man to score a luxury hotel suite. When they end up at an encampment for unhoused people, I’m still wondering how they suddenly got to this point, but at least in this case the thematic resonance is immediately clear, considering the fate of too many veterans who are unable to find the support they need. Ultimately, much like the epics of yore, these vignettes do their best to paint a mythic panorama of the society we’re living in today.

Considering its subject matter and its pedigree, Dog has an appropriately shaggy disposition. It’s the directorial debut for both Tatum and Reid, who previously worked together on White House Down, 22 Jump Street, Logan Lucky, and both Magic Mike chapters. With this collaboration, they display plenty of empathy and patience, and in that spirit, Dog is worth warming up to. It’s not the most enthralling or life-changing experience at the multiplex today, but it’s got some tricks up its collar that can make you reconsider what it’s up to. Its happy ending is as formulaic as any platonic (pet-tonic?) rom-com in which it’s no surprise that Man and Mutt are going to fall for each other, but it’s endearing enough that you’re pleased when they do.

Dog is Recommended If You Like: Early 2010s Hipster-based comedy, A Carousel of Character Actor Cameos, Chew Toys

Grade: 3 out of 5 Dog

‘Uncharted’ Review: I Would Have Preferred a Ferdinand Magellan Documentary

Leave a comment

Uncharted (CREDIT: Sony Pictures)

Starring: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle, Antonio Banderas, Rudy Pankow

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Mostly Bloodless Action

Release Date: February 18, 2022 (Theaters)

The most complimentary thing I can say about Uncharted is that it made me want to fact-check its claims about Ferdinand Magellan. But actually now that I think about it, I probably would have preferred if it had just fabulated some wild, obviously false claims about that real-life explorer. For what it’s worth, some quick googling and Wikipedia referencing confirms the broad outlines of Uncharted‘s history lessons. Which is to say: despite what you may have heard, Magellan did NOT circumnavigate the globe, as he died before the expedition was complete, though the surviving members of his crew did manage to make it all the way around. Anyway, I suppose that’s meant to be thematically relevant, insofar as it has something to do with the power of second chances? But really, it’s of course just an excuse for some Indiana Jones-style globetrotting.

Tom Holland is excited to be there as up-and-coming treasure hunter Nathan Drake, while Mark Wahlberg delivers the cynicism as Victor “Sully” Sullivan, who’s happy to let everyone else do all the hard work. PlayStation devotees already know who these guys are, but it doesn’t take any special expertise to recognize that this a video game movie. I’m not just talking about how Nathan is constantly jumping from platform to platform (there are plenty of non-video game movies that feature characters escaping from tight situations!) as much as I’m calling out how this adaptation feels so beholden to its source material. I’ve never played the games, so I don’t know how close the resemblance is or isn’t, but I can tell that something’s holding this movie back from the stratosphere. Contrast that with the National Treasure flicks, which are fairly straight-down-the-middle efforts that try to please every type of audience, but they at least have the good sense to feature ludicrous premises. Meanwhile, you’ll want to join Nathan and Sully’s trip only if you’ve already booked a ticket.

Uncharted is Recommended If You Like: Watered-down versions of the classics

Grade: 2 out of 5 Treasure Maps

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 2/11/22

Leave a comment

Inventing Anna (CREDIT: Aaron Epstein/Netflix)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Blacklight (Theaters) – Liam Neeson Action.
Death on the Nile (Theaters) – Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh Version) back on the case.
I Want You Back (Amazon Prime Video)
Marry Me (Theaters and Streaming on Peacock) – A rom-com for us.

TV
Inventing Anna Series Premiere (February 11 on Netflix) – Fun with fraud.
-Puppy Bowl XVIII (February 13 on Animal Planet)

Music
-alt-J, The Dream
-Spoon, Lucifer on the Sofa
-Tegan and Sara, Still Jealous – A reimagining of their 2004 album So Jealous.
-Eddie Vedder, Earthling

Sports
-Super Bowl LVI (February 13 on NBC)

Will ‘Marry Me’ Make Us Merry?

1 Comment

Marry Me (CREDIT: Barry Wetcher/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Maluma, John Bradley, Sarah Silverman, Chloe Coleman, Michell Buteau, Stephen Wallem, Jimmy Fallon, Jameela Jamil, Utkarsh Ambudkar

Director: Kat Coiro

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Fairly Mild Profanity

Release Date: February 11, 2022 (Theaters and Peacock)

Where does Marry Me the movie place in my rankings of pop cultural uses of that particular matrimonial phrase? Its opponents of course includes Maeby Fünke’s usage of it as a catchphrase on Arrested Development to deflect anyone and everyone’s suspicions about her actual age. And it’s also the title of indie rocker St. Vincent’s 2007 debut album (which was itself named after AD). So clearly the competition is pretty stiff! It’s even stiffer when you consider that there’s a song called “Marry Me” that’s performed multiple times in the movie. So in that sense, the film is competing against itself for Marry Me-dominance!

Okay, folks, I’m not going to jerk you around any longer: Arrested Development wins my vote for best use of “Marry Me.” But this new romantic comedy still has its own particular charms that are worth considering.

The premise is a modern day fairytale: Jennifer Lopez plays Kat Valdez, a pop superstar not too dissimilar from J. Lo herself. She’s all set to marry her musical/romantic partner Bastian (Colombian singer Maluma) in an extravagant onstage ceremony, but when she discovers that he’s been cheating on her, she suddenly chooses a random concertgoer in the form of single dad Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson) as a replacement groom. Their union is legally legit, but everything else is just for show for the tabloids and the Instagram-viewing masses, at least initially. Charlie hardly knows Kat anyway, as he was only at the show since his tween daughter Lou (Chloe Coleman) is a fan. He might also be the epitome of modern fiction’s social media-agnostic stock character, and if that character is going to be played by someone as effortlessly charming as Wilson, then I’m here for it!

Marry Me really comes alive in the quiet two-hander moments when it’s just Lopez and Wilson on screen. His advice about the publicity machine being B.S. might be simple and far from revolutionary, but it’s also tender and wonderfully supportive. “Support” is really the key word here, as both Charlie and Kat are surrounded by endlessly loyal friends who know just how to nudge things in the right direction. And in addition to all that, there’s a subplot about a middle school math contest, with Charlie as a coach and Lou as one of the mathletes. So therefore I must say, if back in 2001 when I was in seventh grade, Jennifer Lopez had randomly shown up at one of my math contests, that would have been pretty cool. And while a movie version of that scenario might not be quite as magical as the real-life hypothetical, it’s still something I’m happy to have experienced.

Marry Me is Recommended If You Like: Dreaming the Improbable Dream, Turning the cameras off to have a conversation, Math puns

Grade: 3 out of 5 Pi-thons

How Well Does ‘I Want You Back’ Handle Its Manipulative Premise? Let’s Find Out!

1 Comment

I Want You Back (CREDIT: © 2021 Amazon Content Services LLC)

Starring: Charlie Day, Jenny Slate, Gina Rodriguez, Scott Eastwood, Manny Jacinto, Clark Backo, Omar Gooding, Dylan Gelula, Isabel May, Pete Davidson, Jami Gertz

Director: Jason Orley

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Adults Behaving Hot and Bothered

Release Date: February 11, 2022 (Amazon Prime Video)

Plenty of romantic comedies feature highly manipulative, perhaps even psychopathic behavior, and I Want You Back is just the latest example. That feature of the genre isn’t in and of itself a bad thing. It all just depends on how you present it. If you’re going for something cynical or a heightened/surreal vibe, then this behavior fits perfectly. If however you want to conclude with the sweet-as-treacle traditional happily-ever-after, then the message might end up a whole heck of a lot darker than intended. In the case of I Want You Back … it’s complicated. It features likable actors who can go vicious or weird if that’s what’s asked of them, but this time they’re aiming for something more grounded and thoughtful. But they’re not perfect either. They make some bad decisions, eventually they have to deal with the consequences, and the narrative grapples with how to move forward from those consequences.

Here’s the setup: Peter (Charlie Day) and Emma (Jenny Slate) are both blindsided when they’re dumped from their respective long-term relationships. Breakups are always hard, but these ones are especially tough, because these two mortal fools have convinced themselves that their now-exes (Scott Eastwood, Gina Rodriguez) were The Ones for them. So when they have a chance encounter in the office building where they both work, they hatch a scheme wherein they will rip apart the new relationship of the other’s ex so that they can be reunited. Along the way, they get up to a few shenanigans, deliver some chuckle-worthy dialogue, forge some unlikely friendships, and learn a little bit about themselves. But the clock is ticking, and The Truth Bomb is just waiting to go off…

Let’s jump ahead to discuss the point when Peter and Emma’s scheme fully unravels. Predictably, everyone who’s been an unwitting pawn is so aghast at the lack of forthrightness and integrity when they thought everything had been genuine. It would be realistic if everyone remained angry with each other for weeks, months, or even years afterward. But instead, they talk it out. Is it enough to justify a happy ending? Maybe, maybe not. I’m not personally sure myself. But I am certain that it’s ultimately healthiest to address these emotionally distressing situations head-on. It may be supremely difficult, but settling on anger most likely means allowing these situations to fester into something even more toxic. Since I Want You Back recognizes that, it mostly wins my approval.

I Want You Back is Recommended If You Like: Sitcom Stars in Movies, Quarter-Life Crises, Abortive threesomes

Grade: 3 out of 5 Airplane Safety Masks

Older Entries Newer Entries