This Is a Movie: Lucas Hedges Wades Through the Lies of Gay Conversion to Find Truth and Love in the Unsettling and Fulfilling ‘Boy Erased’

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CREDIT: Focus Features

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2018.

Starring: Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Joel Edgerton, Troye Sivan, Xavier Dolan, Joe Alwyn, Flea

Director: Joel Edgerton

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for Intense, Sexuality-Focused Material

Release Date: November 2, 2018 (Limited)

Boy Erased demonstrates the dangers of putting the unqualified in charge, or pretending that it is possible to be qualified for something that nobody can possibly have experience with. With the suspensefully assured hand of director Joel Edgerton, it plays like a horror film in which the villain is the storm of forces that try to convince you of something that you know in your core not to be true. The setting is a gay conversion therapy program, which is basically the epitome of trauma born out of the most distorted of good intentions. Every story I have ever heard about gay conversion suggests that those involved with running them are either gay themselves or relatives of gay people. Boy Erased very much underscores how terrifying a curriculum designed upon internalized homophobia is.

The film is based on Garrard Conley’s memoir of the same name, with Lucas Hedges playing Jared Eamons, an adapted version of Conley. This isn’t the first gay conversion gay conversion-focused film this year, with The Miseducation of Cameron Post having arrived a few months earlier. Boy Erased manages to make a stronger impression thanks to heavier dramatic stakes. Whereas Cameron Post‘s protagonists were so strong-willed that they just ignored the program, Jared actually cares about satisfying the people who want him to go through with it. That especially includes his Baptist preacher father Marshall (Russell Crowe) and his fiercely protective mother Nancy (Nicole Kidman). But at a certain point, he realizes that the so-called adult experts do not know what they are talking about if what they are asking him to do is ripping apart his soul. That means he must push back against head therapist Victor (Edgerton), a man who is frighteningly skilled at hiding internal conflict, and instead listen to the people who only offer him unconditional, recognizable love. It all leads to reconciliation scenes that you hope never have to be necessary for anybody but are all the more fulfilling for how genuine they are.

Boy Erased is Recommended If You Like: Heart-wrenching true stories, Familial reconciliation, Dramas that are secretly horror movies

Grade: 4 out of 5 White Dress Shirts

This Is a Movie Review: I Have No Idea How to Make Sense of ‘The Nutcracker and the Four Realms,’ But At Least It’s Vaguely Enjoyable

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CREDIT: Laurie Sparham/Disney Enterprises

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2018.

Starring: Mackenzie Foy, Keira Knightley, Matthew Macfadyen, Eugenio Derbez, Richard E. Grant, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Misty Copeland

Directors: Lasse Hallström and Joe Johnston

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Rating: PG for Mildly Scary Rodents

Release Date: November 2, 2018

In The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, Mr. Stahlbaum’s (Matthew Macfayden) wife has recently passed away, so now he wants to make sure that he and his children are able to keep it together. What does he believe is the best way to do so? Why, dancing, of course! They head off to a Christmas ball, where he insists to his headstrong daughter Clara (Mackenzie Foy) that she must save one dance for him. When they arrive, she has no interest in dancing, but by the end, the entire Stahlbaum family is dancing together. How does she end up changing her mind? I guess it must have something to do with her impromptu journey through a magical, Narnia-like realm, but I’m not sure show. This movie resembles a hero’s journey in which lessons are learned, but it is not particularly clear what those lessons are, beyond the simple “be brave” and “appearances can be deceiving.” But regardless, Mr. Stahlbaum’s wish for dancing is fulfilled, so … mission accomplished?

Beyond Clara’s internal fortitude, the main potential attraction in the Four Realms is Keira Knightley’s weirdly affected performance as the Sugar Plum Fairy. As one of the leaders of the realms, she sounds like a body snatcher doing an impression of a ditzy supermodel. She speaks in baby-talk neologisms that make her sound like a character from Rugrats. The way she says “Oh, poo” is transcendent.

Basically, what it boils down to is this: I have no idea how closely this film resembles the original 1816 short story, and I do not care to look it up. (I’m guessing the plot doesn’t matter all that much in the ballet.) The Nutcracker and the Four Realms lacks a sense of of clear purpose and meaning and comes with a psychedelic edge that often goes along with misbegotten fantasy family movies. I would not expect such a surreal flavor from either of its co-directors (Lasse Hallström and Joe Johnston), but accidental surrealism is often the best surrealism.

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms is Recommended If You Like: I have absolutely no clue.

Grade: 3 out of 5 Mice

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is a Thoroughly Generic Music Biopic

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CREDIT: Alex Bailey/Twentieth Century Fox

This review was originally published on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton, Gwilym Lee, Ben Hardy, Joseph Mazzello, Aidan Gillen, Tom Hollander, Allen Leech, Mike Myers, Aaron McCusker

Director: Bryan Singer*

Running Time: 134 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for The Typical, Though Far From the Most Decadent, Rock Star Lifestyle

Release Date: November 2, 2018

About halfway through Bohemian Rhapsody, Mike Myers shows up as a record executive, and I am not sure if this casting was a good or bad idea. He’s got messy curls and patchwork facial hair that makes him look Will Ferrell as Gene Frenkel in the “More cowbell” sketch. He is adamant against Queen releasing the film’s namesake song as a single, certain that its nonsense lyrics and operatic structure will prevent it from ever being something that teenagers will bang their heads along to in the car (thus cheekily referencing the song’s most famous cinematic appearance). This scene is much more directly comedic than the rest of the film, offering an oddball flavor that could easily result in a tonal clash. The trouble is, the tone for just about every other scene can be summed up as “flavorless.” Myers’ committed character work might not truly belong, but it’s too hard to tell, because Bohemian Rhapsody is one of the most generic music biopics ever made.

On the one hand, there are plenty of cookie-cutter entries in this genre, but if anything could break the mold, one would think the story of Queen as directed by Bryan Singer and starring Rami Malek as one of the most electric rock stars of all time would have been a prime candidate. The problem might be with Singer himself, or his lack thereof. The X-Men and Usual Suspects director was failing to show up to set during production (some reports say it was due to a family health matter, while others noted that he was clashing with Malek), and he was replaced by Dexter Fletcher towards the end of principal photography (although per Directors Guild ruling, Singer retains sole directorial credit). The resulting product has an appropriately nameless visual aesthetic, with inexplicable shots of concert footage that rob the band of its dynamism. A few moments show off Singer’s signature kinetic flair (like the marathon recording of “Bohemian Rhapsody”), but overall this one has a real Alan Smithee feel to it.

If you love Queen, you can at least derive some enjoyment out of how thoroughly Malek conjures Freddie Mercury. And with a discography as eclectic and bombastic as Queen’s, it is impossible to not find at least a little positivity out of two hours jam-packed with their songs. But that deep musical lineup only underscores how much of a wasted opportunity Bohemian Rhapsody is.

Bohemian Rhapsody is Recommended If You Like: The Queen songbook

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Galileo’s

*-Bryan Singer was replaced by Dexter Fletcher towards the end of principal photography, but Singer has retained sole directorial credit, in accordance with Directors Guild of America rules.

This Is a Movie Review: Venom

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CREDIT: Sony Pictures

How do you make a gelatinous black alien goo-villain like Venom the hero of your movie? As the makers of Venom have decided, you have it (him?) fall in love with Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy). Although, it’s not so much love as it is deep platonic friendship. But maybe developing a deep platonic friendship is a kind of falling in love? Whatever you call it, it works.

Overall, this movie is filled with delights because of its unerringly playful approach. That applies to the action scenes, with Venom’s fluid presence shooting out in unpredictable directions. It of course applies to the back-and-forth repartee between Eddie and Venom inside his head. (Wisely, a few other key characters are aware of what is going on during these conversations, but that doesn’t make them look any less insane.) And it absolutely applies to Eddie/Venom’s constant attempts to figure out how to feed their ravenous hunger. And then there’s that tongue. Oh yeah, that tongue. We could’ve used more of the tongue, honestly. But Venom, and Venom, is more than just that tongue, and it’s better for it.

I give Venom 400 Tater Tots out of 500 Host Bodies.

This Is a Movie Review: Luca Guadagnino’s ‘Suspiria’ is So Baroque, Don’t Fix It

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CREDIT: Alessio Bolzoni; Courtesy of Amazon Studios

This review was originally published on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton, Mia Goth, Chloë Grace Moretz

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Running Time: 152 Minutes

Rating: R for Imaginatively Bloody Violence and Witchcraft-Based Nudity

Release Date: October 26, 2018 (Limited)

I’ve seen the 1977 original Dario Argento-directed Suspiria, but I don’t remember much about it, other than the colors and the music. I also recall that the premise is that a young American ballet student arrives at a prestigious dance academy in Germany, where she discovers that the place is run by a coven of witches. That is the same setup for Luca Guadagnino’s remake, but in just about every other way, this is not a film that should feel compelled to call itself a remake. Let me jump in with my theory on proper remake strategy: a good remake can be based on a good or bad movie, but it must necessarily be significantly different enough from the original. Because if the original was bad, why would you want to do it over again? But if the original was good, it would be pointless to do it all over again, since the original still exists. The new Suspiria is certainly different enough, more inspired by than redoing the original. Although it is possible that it is recreating scenes that I forgot about, but if that is the case, that’s clearly not a problem.

Guadagnino is a master of baroque delights. From Dakota Johnson’s slithery dancing to an onslaught of bodily contortions and explosions, this is a mass feast of sensory awesomeness. I’m pretty sure that Thom Yorke’s score is also excellent, but I’ll have to listen again to make sure. As for any deeper themes – whether regarding feminism, power dynamics, or the like – there may be plenty to jump into there. Perhaps I will dig into it a month or a year from now. But it’s also possible there may not be any subtext at all. And that is just dandy in this case. Also, pay special attention to “Lutz Ebersdorf.” He’s going places.

Suspiria is Recommended If You Like: Suspiria (1977), Hausu, Hereditary

Grade: 4 out of 5 Leotards

 

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Johnny English Strikes Again’ Because Rowan Atkinson is Still Capable of Wonderful Silliness

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CREDIT: Giles Keyte/Focus Features

This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Ben Miller, Olga Kurylenko, Emma Thompson, Jake Lacy

Director: David Kerr

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Rating: PG for Chaotically Silly Action and a Quick Shot of Someone’s Bum

Release Date: October 26, 2018

There is a scene about halfway through Johnny English Strikes Again that sums up the appeal of this spy spoof. As the title MI7 secret agent, Rowan Atkinson is tasked with preparing for an infiltration mission by navigating a VR simulation of the mansion that he will be breaking into. There is a moving platform that he is supposed to remain on throughout, but he hits the wrong button and ends up wandering through the streets of London with his VR goggles on, oblivious to the everyday city life continuing to go on around him. He completes the simulation with miraculously little disorientation, but he is wholly unaware (and effectively unaccountable) for all the havoc he has left in his wake. Johnny English is absolutely a Supreme Bumble in the Atkinson mold, but his confidence is unparalleled and (because of some mix of forces beyond our understanding) he is the perfect man for the job.

This James Bond parody quite reminds me of The Stupids, the Tom Arnold-starring, John Landis-directed underrated gem about a family of supposed fools who somehow manage to foil a black market arms deal. English is a lot more respected by his peers and colleagues than the Stupids are, but he is still prone to pratfalls and inadvertent pants-droppings. But his record is clear: where everyone else is foiled, he is the one who brings the evil mastermind to his comeuppance. In terms that we can understand, the traits that serve him best as both a spy and a movie are his unbridled enthusiasm and his admirably unapologetic nature. In this chapter, that means we also get to see Atkinson dance to such club hits as Darude’s “Sandstorm” and Sigma’s “Changing,” and how can you say no to that? Altogether, this is delightful English silliness we can all benefit from having in our cinematic diet.

Johnny English Strikes Again is Recommended If You Like: Rowan Atkinson, Proper British silliness, The Stupids

Grade: 3 out of 5 London Lemmings

Movie Review: South Korean Thriller ‘Burning’ is a Little Too Ambiguous for the Audience’s Good

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CREDIT: Well Go USA Entertainment

This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Yoo Ah-in, Steven Yeun, Jeon Jong-seo

Director: Lee Chang-dong

Running Time: 148 Minutes

Rating: Unrated, But It Could Be R for a Sexual Encounter

Release Date: October 26, 2018 (Limited)

Burning could be South Korea’s answer to The Vanishing, the 1988 Dutch thriller with one of the most unsettling endings in film history. But it doesn’t start out that way. Instead, it looks like it could be a riff on Jules et Jim, or whatever ménage à trois narrative you prefer. Jong-su (Yoo Ah-in) is a twentysomething wandering soul who one day stumbles across Hae-mi (Jeon Jong-seo), an old classmate. They catch up, and soon enough he is catsitting for her while she travels to Africa. He clearly fancies her more than a bit, and they do have sex, but that becomes a tad complicated when she returns with Ben (Steven Yeun), a fellow Korean traveler she met in Kenya. The three of them hang out a few times, with Jong-su starting to act possessive while Ben seems like a much chiller dude, though it is not hard to suspect that there is something else going on under his carefree exterior.

Around this point of confusion, Burning suddenly takes on a much more sinister tone when (SPOILER ALERT) Hae-mi disappears and won’t answer any of her messages. Jong-su’s singular focus quickly becomes tracking her down, whereas Ben is somewhat concerned but ultimately not that worried. This could be because he never really knew Hae-mi all that long or all that well, but Jong-su suspects he may have had something to do with her disappearance. This being a mystery movie, we are conditioned to believe that this is an avenue worth examining. Jong-su goes all in on following through with what he wants to do about it, but we are left with a significant (intentional) lack of satisfaction, as the full truth of what actually happened is never revealed. Committing to such ambiguity is fine, but Burning is not terribly interested in really examining the nature of that ambiguity. The end product is thus unnerving, but lightweight.

Burning is Recommended If You Like: The Vanishing, Ambiguous mysteries, A sprinkle of a Great Gatsby influence

Grade: 3 out of 5 Hiding Cats

This Is a Movie Review: Melissa McCarthy, Richard E. Grant, and Jane Curtin Bring the Literary Forgery Biopic ‘Can You Ever Forgive Me?’ to Deliciously Caustic Life

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CREDIT: Mary Cybulski/Twentieth Century Fox

This review was originally published on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Richard E. Grant, Dolly Wells, Jane Curtin, Ben Falcone

Director: Marielle Heller

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: R for Naughty, Foul-Mouthed Witticisms

Release Date: October 19, 2018 (Limited)

I would like to begin my review of Can You Ever Forgive Me? by first saying how happy I am to see Jane Curtin on screen in a role worthy of her talents. Melissa McCarthy and Richard E. Grant are going to get the most praise out of this cast, and rightly so, as they play the two main characters with wonderfully caustic aplomb, but I want to make sure that Ms. Curtin does not get lost in the mix. Whenever I see her in old SNL clips, I wonder how she is not still one of the biggest comedy superstars around (at least she still is in my heart). Sure, few folks have ever maintained such a status into their seventies, but Curtin remains spry and clearly capable of throwing out some deadly zingers. And as Marjorie, the (understandably) impatient literary agent of an unruly client, she is doing exactly what any Jane Curtin fan wants to see.

That client is Lee Israel, who achieved a bit of success in the ’70s and ’80s with biographies of the likes of actress Tallulah Bankhead and game show panelist Dorothy Kilgallen. She is now struggling to pay her bills, partly because she insists on only writing about people who were popular decades ago and partly because she is too antisocial to hold down any regular job or maintain any human relationship. So she turns to penning letters that she passes off as the work of famous writers like Dorothy Parker and Noel Coward, selling the forgeries to collectors who are willing to play top dollar. Melissa McCarthy may not seem like the obvious choice to play Lee, though her aggressive comedy chops certainly lend themselves well to cynical wit-slinging. McCarthy actually benefits immensely from being able to underplay a bit. Lee is just as unapologetic as McCarthy’s normal stable of characters, so in a way Lee is actually right in her wheelhouse, but with fewer temptations to go more over-the-top than is bearable.

Can You Ever Forgive Me? is a bit of a two-hander, with a significant chunk of the runtime consisting of the shenanigans between Lee and her drinking buddy/partner-in-crime Jack Hock (Grant), a bon vivant in similarly dire financial straits. I know Grant primarily as the villainous puppetmaster Dr. Zander Rice in last year’s Logan, but fans of his breakthrough performance in Withnail and I will likely find plenty to recognize and love here. And those unfamiliar with Withnail should be happy to discover his infectious comedy chops. Lee and Jack are a salty-and-tart odd couple; they’re both gay, but also somehow kindred spirits. Their friendship fuels each of them to find a purpose in life, although their relationship is a bit volatile, as much of it is built around a criminal enterprise. Can You Ever Forgive Me? Resembles redemption narrative, but not quite. Instead, it is a story of self-actualization that manages to have as much of a naughty good time as it can.

Can You Ever Forgive Me? is Recommended If You Like: Withnail and I, All About Eve, Sideways

Grade: 4 out of 5 Forgeries

 

This Is a Movie Review: The Latest ‘Halloween’ Examines the Brutal Roles of Killer and Survivor

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CREDIT: Ryan Green/Universal Studios

This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Nick Castle, Toby Huss

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Relentless Knife Piercings All Over the Body

Release Date: October 19, 2018

What if your purpose in life is to kill people? What if your purpose in life is to be in a decades-long struggle with that killer? Horror sequels that come many years after the original and feature the same main character unavoidably grapple with matters relating to the circular nature of fate. Halloween, the same-named sequel to John Carpenter’s 1978 original, is especially committed to those questions in a way that deepens the meanings of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode without straying too ridiculously far from their initial incarnations.

As a direct sequel to the 40-years-earlier initially entry, this Halloween ignores everything that happened in all previous sequels and reboots. It is thus somewhat confusing that it opts for the identical title, but it is also thematically appropriate. Director David Gordon Green and his co-writers Danny McBride and Jeff Fradley are working under the presupposition that where evil struck once, it will strike again, in much the same manner that it did before. That is certainly what Laurie Strode believes, with Jamie Lee Curtis returning to her iconic role once again by jumping headlong into the disaster preparedness lifestyle. Michael has been locked away since the night of his rampage, but Laurie is convinced he will escape and kill again. Her relentless focus on readying herself for that probability has helped her survive, but it has also ruined her relationship with her daughter (Judy Greer) and anyone else she has ever been close with.

Green understands what made Carpenter’s approach so effective, as he similarly relies on tension-building instead of jump scares when showing Michael at work. We see more of the bloody brutality than we used to, which in one way is an indication that it is so hard to shock anymore but in another way is so frightening in its implication that rehabilitation may be impossible in some cases. For Michael, killing is practically a vocation. There are attempts by a few characters to explain his motivations, but he remains so terrifying mysterious, because the explanation ultimately never goes beyond the tautology of “he kills because he has to kill.” While Laurie is one of his favorite targets, there is a mythically eternal element to their struggle that suggests that he cannot ever actually kill her and also that she cannot ever kill him. Thus, at the moment that she gains the upper hand and we see his confused reaction, it is devastating. Not because we sympathize with the killer, but because the saga may very well have finally reached the point when it must end.

Halloween is Recommended If You Like: Halloween (1978), Disaster preparedness

Grade: 4 out of 5 Stabbings

SNL Review October 13, 2018: Seth Meyers/Paul Simon

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CREDIT: Ava Williams/NBC

This post was originally published on News Cult in October 2018.

Love It

New Cellmate – It’s not impossible to make satisfying, even lighthearted, comedy about the most monstrous subject matter. Portraying an imprisoned Bill Cosby as someone who’s lost touch with reality (or is pretending to) and is clinging to his Cliff Huxtable persona is goofy but also weirdly credible. Plus, Seth Meyers’ new cellmate character is so carefully considered in his reaction to this surreal situation that the sketch manages to also be respectful when it could have easily been sordid. That’s a not-insignificant accomplishment.

The South of Mason Screening starts out as weird as you hope these Q&A sketches would be, but then it gets a little prosaic. But man, what a weird beginning…A Frightening Tale combines horror movie tropes and the worst “aspiring filmmaker” excesses in unforgettable fashion.

Keep It

Kanye-Trump Summit – I watched hardly any of the actual Kanye-Trump summit because I just didn’t have the appetite for it. But as far as I can tell, this is the latest example of SNL‘s cold opening being more or less a recreation of the crazy thing that happened this week. There are a few Kanye cuckoo-isms that I imagine the SNL team came up with (like Chicago’s “negative murder rate”) to render this amusing enough. But when this material is going to be covered more in depth later in the show anyway (on Update and in the case of this episode, even in the monologue), why not break the mold in the opener? I mean, you could do even just ask what happened right before or right after the summit.

Seth Meyers’ Monologue is pretty short, but it’s also pretty valuable for reminding of us this sketch from a time when Kanye was somehow both hilarious and self-aware…beta force is a necessary corrective to those suspect testosterone supplements (and right on for calling out the giant black canisters)…If Leslie Jones and Ego Nwodim want to be thirsty, let ’em be Thirsty Cops, I say…Michael and Colin earn my chuckles for that sick RadioShack burn and Che revealing that every container in his apartment “used to be something else”…The Baskin Johns bit is little more than someone nervously saying “Number 1” over and over, but I’ll give it some enthusiasm because it’s Heidi Gardner and she says “Goop my pants”…Really!?! with Colin, Seth, and Michael is a little unwieldy compared to the classic Seth and Amy flavor but still filled with plenty of valid points…Bayou Benny’s Liberal Lagniappe is a little (or a lot) incoherent (though that’s very much the point), so it makes sense to have Seth in there as himself to be confused…The couple coming back from the Cuban Vacation (“Cooba”) are pretty insufferable, but I do enjoy their interpretation of a “rooster competition”…More than half of the Trees music video got cut off during my broadcast. (Was this true for everyone else?) Luckily, it’s 2018, and all the sketches are online the next day. Anyway, Pete Davidson and Chris Redd have some decent back-and-forth in their spit games.

Leave It

Treece Henderson Trio – The “weird band at a low-rent venue” closing sketch is a proud SNL tradition. Even the ones without a strong central thrust usually still have a few disarmingly out-there details, and that is the case with this trio of Kenan, Seth, and Kyle performing at a Marriott, thanks to the electric piccolo and the phrase “panty crickets.” But by keeping the main idea of piccolo player Seth’s medical diagnosis so vague, we are never quite able to jump full-on into the wackiness.

Seth Meyers

On a scale of “Seth Meyers behind a desk” to “Seth Meyers the sketch player,” it is clear that this former longtime Update anchor and current Late Night host is most comfortable talking directly to us, as evident in his monologue and the rendition of “Really!?!” But that doesn’t mean he’s a bad sketch actor! He does some committed character work as a middle-aged testosterone nutjob and a pretentious vacationer, and his performance in A Frightening Tale is so on point. Maybe there’s a bit of a mental block on his part going on, but he’s nonetheless now the kind of guy I’m always happy to see back.

Paul Simon

More musical guests should perform new arrangements of their old hits on SNL. But alas, most of them probably wouldn’t be as masterful as Paul Simon makes them.

Letter Grades:

Kanye-Trump Summit – C+

Seth Meyers’ Monologue – B

South of Mason Screening – B+

beta force – B-

Thirsty Cops – B-

A Frightening Tale (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – A-

New Cellmate – B+

Paul Simon and yMusic perform “Can’t Run But” – A-

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B-
Baskin Johns – C+
Really!?! – B

Bayou Benny’s Liberal Lagniappe – B-

Paul Simon performs “Bridge Over Troubled Water” – B+

Cuban Vacation – C+

Trees – B-

Treece Henderson Trio – C

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