This Is a Movie Review: The New ‘Tomb Raider’ is the Old Everything Else

March 15, 2018

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: Ilzek Kitshoff/Warner Bros.

This review was originally posted on News Cult in March 2018.

Starring: Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins, Daniel Wu, Kristin Scott Thomas

Director: Roar Uthaug

Running Time: 118 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Bloody Violence in Which the Camera Cuts Away Before You See the Worst of It, and Indiana Jones-Style Skin Decomposition

Release Date: March 16, 2018

The latest big screen version of Tomb Raider supposedly justifies its existence by positioning itself as Lara Croft’s origin story, but it could hardly be considered untold, as it is fundamentally derivative of every other entry in the globetrotting action-adventure genre. Even if you have not seen the Angelina Jolie TR films or never played any of the video games (like myself), chances are you will still feel like you have already seen this “new” one. This is basically a video game transferred to a different medium, but without actually adapting it into cinematic form. To wit, Alicia Vikander’s Lara spends most of her time solving puzzles (like arranging rocks to open a cave door) or jumping across platforms (like bouncing around all the boats in a crowded dock to escape some baddies). Again, the conclusion to be drawn is: you’ve seen this all before, better and elsewhere.

The mythology that kicks Tomb Raider’s plot into motion is fairly fascinating: Himiko, Queen of Yamatai, is said to have had power over life and death, with the ability to kill people just by touching them. Lara’s father Richard (Dominic West) has spent much of his life tracking her down. After disappearing for years during his search, he is presumed dead, and an absentee dad is only the first classic genre trope TR makes sure to give us. We also get the timeless purity-vs-profitability conflict, as naturally enough the villain is Richard’s rival archaeologist Mathias Vogel (Walton Goggins), who only cares about getting rich off Himiko’s remains. Furthermore, the climax is essentially Indiana Jones-lite, with giant rolling rocks and unwise choices resulting in consequences akin to drinking from the wrong grail.

But despite all these shortcomings, I must accept that a fundamental aspect of my criticism (and all good criticism, I would argue) is identifying whether or not a film is exciting or boring. And on that score, Tomb Raider kept me engaged enough to feel like it was not a complete waste of time. Plus, it has a decently satisfying feminist bent, as any skin displayed by Lara primarily emphasizes Vikander’s athleticism, and at the moment when she thinks her father is being his most patronizing, he instead compliments her bravery. These are welcome elements, but they are mostly surface level. That shallowness prevents true terribleness, but it also leaves some uncomfortable implications less-than-fully addressed. Like, what is Mathias’ deal with wrangling up slave labor? There could have been an opportunity here for indelible villainy, but instead Tomb Raider plays it thoroughly safe.

Tomb Raider is Recommended If You Like: Every Indiana Jones knockoff, Watching someone else play a platform-jumping video game

Grade: 2.25 out of 5 Tank Tops

This Is a Movie Review: Zoey Deutch Shines in the Sweet and Sour ‘Flower’

March 14, 2018

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: The Orchard

This review was originally posted on News Cult in March 2018.

Starring: Zoey Deutch, Adam Scott, Joey Morgan, Kathryn Hahn, Tim Heidecker, Dylan Gelula, Maya Eshet, Eric Edelstein

Director: Max Winkler

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R for Matter-of-Fact Crude Teen Dialogue, Implications and Discussions of Statutory Relationships, and an Artistically Impressive Penis Drawing

Release Date: March 16, 2018 (Limited)

When Tim Heidecker is playing the relatively normal person, you know that everyone else is stepping a bit outside their comfort zones and/or we have now realized that everybody is at least a little bit crazy. Along with his frequent partner Eric Wareheim, Heidecker has set the demented tone for much of 21st century comedy. But when he acts for other writers and directors, he works effectively as the most grounded presence. In the case of Flower, in which teenagers attempt to expose pedophiles through unsavory means, he comes across as the voice of reason, or at least the one most conscientiously attempting to do the right thing. Meanwhile, folks like Zoey Deutch and Adam Scott, who normally play sweet and wholesome, are afforded plenty of opportunities to tap into their darker impulses.

Heidecker plays Bob, the stepfather-to-be of Deutch’s Erica, who runs a small-time extortion scam with her friends Kala (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s Dylan Gelula) and Claudine (Maya Eshet), in which they lure adults into sex acts and then demand money once they reveal that they are underage. They sniff out a major opportunity when her future stepbrother Luke (Joey Morgan), stricken by panic attacks and suicidal tendencies, reveals that he was molested by Will (Scott), a former teacher of his who Erica recognizes as the hot older dude from the local bowling alley. She pronounces that shaking down a child molester is their “moral obligation,” but their sense of right and wrong is not exactly ideal, as they partly justify their actions by noting that they don’t want anyone to get fat after suffering abuse. Erica does seem to be motivated more by justice than cash, but her morals are too distorted to stop her from making things spiral out of control.

Flower is far from a Time’s Up rallying cry against abusers. It is much too complicated to be that. There are holes in Luke’s story, and Will seems too decent to be guilty of what he’s been accused of (and not in the way that abusers are often manipulatively charming), though it is certainly concerning that he allows the teenage Erica to insinuate herself into his life. And Erica and her friends are hardly appropriate symbols for victims reclaiming their dignity, as they are too quick to justify their own criminality as a means to the right end. Director/co-writer Max Winkler does not shy away from this messiness, getting a brazen but enticing performance out of Deutch in the process. But the ending ties everything up a little too neatly, opting for a romantic outlaw angle that ignores much of the film’s moral debris. The whole affair is a tonal ping-pong, for better and worse.

Flower is Recommended If You Like: The Edge of Seventeen, Donnie Darko, The Crush

Grade: 3 out of 5 Shakedowns

This Is a Movie Review: ‘7 Days in Entebbe’ Takes the Tension Out of Hijacking, But It Has Really Great Dance Scenes

March 13, 2018

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: Liam Daniel/Focus Features

This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2018.

Starring: Daniel Brühl, Rosamund Pike, Lior Ashkenazi, Eddie Marsan, Mark Ivanir, Denis Ménochet

Director: José Padilha

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Threats of Violence Moreso Than Actual Violence and Outbursts Under Pressure

Release Date: March 16, 2018 (Moderate)

What does it mean when the best parts of a docudrama about a hijacking and a hostage rescue are its dance scenes? I don’t think this happens often enough to make any generalized conclusion, but in the case of 7 Days in Entebbe, it means that the dance parts are enthralling, while the actual meat of the story is not particularly attention-grabbing. And that is a problem, because while the dancing does take up a relatively significant portion of the running time, it still only amounts to about 10%. If Entebbe had suddenly turned into a full-fledged presentation of hoofing it up, it would certainly be strange and it would go against the promise its premise makes, but it would be a whole hell of a lot more interesting than what we have.

The nominal focus of the film is the 1976 hijacking of a plane en route from Tel Aviv to Paris by a group of two Germans and two Palestinians. They take the passengers hostage, rerouting them to Uganda, where they stow them away with the unlikely help of Ugandan president Idi Amin. They demand a ransom and the release of Palestinian and pro-Palestinian militants, making some provocative statements along the way, such as a claim that Israel is “the heir of Nazism.” The hostage operation offers little in the way of knuckle-biting thrills, and the film’s political bent is too ill-defined to say anything much beyond, “Israel and Palestine are stuck in an eternal impasse.”

But back to the dancing, because that’s the only aspect of this film that I really want to talk about. Choreographed by Ohad Naharin and performed by the Batsheva Dance Company, the dance scenes are justified by a subplot in which one of the dancers is the girlfriend of an Israeli commando. That justification is remarkably thin, but not unwelcome, considering the electric charge of the performances. About a dozen dancers are arranged sitting in chairs in a semicircle, popping up in stiff poses when the music hits an explosive note. The commando’s girlfriend has been struggling, and she keeps falling when everyone else stands up. But this routine is so powerful that that mistake could legitimately be part of the routine, and it would make perfect sense. Bottom line: if you’re an action aficionado, Entebbe will be sorely disappointing, but if you’re an appreciator of dance, summon the patience to deal with some boring action for the opportunity to witness some brilliant movement.

7 Days in Entebbe is Recommended If You Like: The existential prison of the Israel-Palestine conflict, Pina

Grade: 2 out of 5 Humanitarian Hijackers

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of March 17, 2018

March 13, 2018

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
2. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Whatever It Takes”
4. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
5. Alice Merton – “No Roots”
6. Walk the Moon – “One Foot”
7. Foster the People – “Sit Next to Me”
8. Bad Wolves – “Zombie”
9. Godsmack – “Bulletproof”
10. 30 Seconds to Mars – “Walk on Water”
11. Imagine Dragons – “Next to Me”
12. Five Finger Death Punch – “Gone Away”
13. Sufjan Stevens – “Mystery of Love”
14. Portugal. The Man – “Live in the Moment”
15. lovelytheband – “Broken”
16. James Bay – “Wild Love”
17. Muse – “Thought Contagion”
18. Fall Out Boy – “Hold Me Tight or Don’t”
19. The Killers – “Run for Cover”
20. Beck – “Up All Night”
21. Breaking Benjamin – “Red Cold River”
22. Vance Joy – “Saturday Sun”
23. Two Feet – “I Feel Like I’m Drowning”
24. Three Days Grace – “The Mountain”
25. Papa Roach – “Born for Greatness”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Mystery of Love
2. Up All Night
3. No Roots
4. Feel It Still
5. I Feel Like I’m Drowning
6. Wild Love
7. Live in the Moment
8. Run for Cover
9. Thought Contagion

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of March 17, 2018

March 13, 2018

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Drake – “God’s Plan”
2. Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”
3. Bruno Mars and Cardi B – “Finesse”
4. Post Malone ft. Ty Dolla $ign – “Pyscho”
5. Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line – “Meant to Be”
6. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
7. BlocBoy JB ft. Drake – “Look Alive”
8. Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey – “The Middle”
9. The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar – “Pray for Me”
10. Migos – “Stir Fry”
11. Kendrick Lamar and SZA – “All the Stars”
12. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
13. NF – “Let You Down”
14. Dua Lipa – “New Rules”
15. G-Eazy and Halsey – “Him & I”
16. Offset and Metro Boomin – “Ric Flair Drip”
17. XXXTentacion – “Sad!”
18. Bazzi – “Mine”
19. Camila Cabello – “Never Be the Same”
20. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. New Rules
2. Pray for Me
3. All the Stars
4. Havana
5. Never Be the Same

SNL Review March 10, 2018: Sterling K. Brown/James Bay

March 11, 2018

jmunney Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: Will Heath/NBC

This review was originally posted on News Cult in March 2018.

NewsCult Entertainment Editor Jeffrey Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then organizes the sketches into the following categories: “Love It” (potentially Best of the Season-worthy), “Keep It” (perfectly adequate), or “Leave It” (in need of a rewrite, to say the least). Then he concludes with assessments of the host and musical guest.

Love It

Dying Mrs. Gomez – So Nickelback was and remains a punchline for many people as the height of 2000s rock music mediocrity. But while they were the most disproportionately successful of their ilk, they weren’t the worst. They actually have a few decent sing-along stompers, and “How You Remind Me” is the best of the bunch. And thanks to this episode, we now know that is the perfect tune to build a sketch about a dying unlikely superfan around.

More

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Gringo’ Finds Humor and Redemption in a World Gone Mad

March 8, 2018

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: Amazon Studios

This review was originally posted on News Cult in March 2018.

Starring: David Oyelowo, Charlize Theron, Joel Edgerton, Amanda Seyfried, Thandie Newton, Sharlto Copley, Yul Vazquez, Harry Treadaway, Alan Ruck

Director: Nash Edgerton

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Corporate Profanity, Office Sex and Euphemistic Propositioning, and a Few Gunshots and Amputations

Release Date: March 9, 2018

Gringo exists mainly to stoke the ire of anyone who believes that the insurance industry is the greatest scam in the history of humanity. I am sure that there are some agents putting in decent work, and there certainly have been times when a smart policy have bailed folks out of emergencies. But why do have to put money aside (or pay folks off, in cynical parlance) to ensure all that? Why can’t we as a species just agree to have each other’s backs as part of the human contract? I suppose that the insurance industry is meant to be that agreement, but as Gringo proves, there are plenty of opportunities for abuse in its current form.

A less humanistic film than Gringo would have Harold Soyinka (David Oyelowo) seeking his revenge on the world for being constantly taken advantage of or falling into a pit of despair over how nice guys finish last. But instead, it is about how he realizes how he is rich in what truly counts in life through a chaotically dangerous, screwball journey. He is a mid-level businessman at the drug company Cannabix who is just a little too trusting of everyone around him. He catches wind that a lot of jobs are going to get cut very soon in unscrupulous fashion, and he is shocked that his boss Richard (Joel Edgerton) would ever do such a thing. But that bit of news should not be surprising to anyone who has spent more than a few minutes with this most weaselly of alpha males. Furthermore, Harold and his wife Bonnie (Thandie Newton) are tens of thousands of dollars in debt, mostly due to her highly irresponsible financial habits. Plus, she’s cheating on him (take a wild guess with who), and she’s kind of taking pity on how much he’s been letting this all happen right under his nose.

As Harold begins to learn the truth, Richard and his other boss, the more openly terrible Elaine (the scary when she’s funny Charlize Theron), bring him down to Mexico for a little business trip, making it the perfect time for Harold to win back a little of his dignity. So he fakes his own kidnapping in a scheme to make off with a ransom of $5 million. Such a kidnapping is believable, as the company has recently developed a very valuable product (medical marijuana in pill form), and they do business with a cartel. At first Richard and Elaine are willing to play ball (sort of) to get Harold home safe. But when it turns out that Cannabix’s insurance policies make it more valuable when an employee dies, things really go topsy-turvy.

Not that they ever weren’t pear-shaped in the first place. Harold may be faking his kidnapping, but he actually has been targeted for capture by the cartel, who mistake him for the boss. Adding to the fun are his run-ins with Sunny (Amanda Seyfried), a sweet and naive guitar shop employee who does not realize the extent of her boyfriend’s (Harry Treadaway) drug dealings, as well as Richard’s brother Mitch (Sharlto Copley), a sort of private special ops extractor who weirdly but effectively has some of the most integrity of any of the characters.

There is a lot of explosive coincidence in Gringo, but it is justified in that it is what ensures the hilarity. The humor is morally satisfying, as the worst actors are forced to reckon with what they deserve, while the lessons imparted are not overly didactic. Kindness is rewarded, as epiphanies emerge to show that life’s cruelty can be laughed upon. This is quite the loony bin of a cast, but ultimately this is The Manic High-Wire David Oyelowo Show, and he sells it with a supremely cool final shot.

Gringo is Recommended If You Like: Coen Brothers Crime Comedies, The Kind of Movie Wherein Gunfire Leads to Hilarious Screaming, Satisfying Morality

Grade: 3 out of 5 Gorilla

This Is a Movie Review: Tamara’s Still Not Home, and ‘The Strangers: Prey at Night’ is Frustratingly Minimalist Horror

March 8, 2018

jmunney Cinema, Movie Reviews , , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: Brian Douglas/Aviron Pictures

This review was originally posted on News Cult in March 2018.

Starring: Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson, Bailee Madison, Lewis Pullman

Director: Johannes Roberts

Running Time: 87 Minutes

Rating: R for Knives, Blood, Axes – The Usual

Release Date: March 9, 2018

A lot of franchises straddle the line between sequel and reboot with their follow-up entries. In the case of The Strangers: Prey at Night, that confusion is baked right into the very premise. The first Strangers featured a group of masked, essentially motiveless killers terrorizing a couple. Prey at Night features a group of masked, essentially motiveless killers terrorizing a family. Are these the same killers? The masks are the same, as are the methods, and therefore any continuity or lack thereof is beside the point. So let’s ignore what Prey at Night does or does not mean as a sequel and just deal with it as its own thing.

The victims this time around are a family of four taking a weekend trip at a trailer park owned by some relatives. I’ll mention the actors because they deserve credit. I was going to skip mentioning the character names because they hardly register as fully fleshed-out human beings, but then I decided I might as well name them for the sake of making it more convenient to explain what happens. So there’s mom Cindy (Christina Hendricks), dad Mike (Martin Henderson), and their teenage kids Kinsey (Bailee Madison) and Luke (Lewis Pullman). The whole family is on edge, mostly due to Kinsey’s recent behavior, which is never specified. She is wearing a Ramones T-shirt and a plaid jacket tied around her waist, which I guess is supposed to symbolize rebelliousness? Or it could mean nothing at all. Either way, it’s not worth getting hung up on.

But the thing is, we spend so much time with these people that I cannot help but get hung up on something about them. This film asks its audience to consider, “What if you were relentlessly attacked by a group of killers just because they had nothing better to do?” Thus it is understandable why the main characters lack any discernible identity. These people are just supposed to be Any American Family. In theory, that is an intriguing approach, but in practice it is frustrating to spend so much time with these people and know essentially nothing about them.

Before the screening, there was an intro video from director Johannes Roberts (47 Meters Down) who explained that he meant for Prey at Night to be his own spin on John Carpenter. Specifically, he’s referring to the small town portion of Carpenter’s oeuvre, particularly The Fog and of course Halloween. But that influence feels misplaced in a film marked heavily by its gory extremity. There are some striking, Carpenter-esque shots (like a mailbox surrounded by fog), but they do not really feel incorporated into the killers’ reign of terror. Elsewhere, there are some vicarious thrills when the family fights back. But overall, this is a situation that would be plenty scary if it actually happened to you but on screen in this case it doesn’t offer the catharsis necessary for a successful horror film.

The Strangers: Prey at Night is Recommended If You Like: Horror Movies with Characters Devoid of Any Personality

Grade: 2 out of 5 Cracked Cell Phones

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of March 10, 2018

March 8, 2018

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
2. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
4. Imagine Dragons – “Whatever It Takes”
5. Walk the Moon – “One Foot”
6. Alice Merton – “No Roots”
7. Imagine Dragons – “Next to Me”
8. Foster the People – “Sit Next to Me”
9. Bad Wolves – “Zombie”
10. 30 Seconds to Mars – “Walk on Water”
11. Five Finger Death Punch – “Gone Away”
12. Portugal. The Man – “Live in the Moment”
13. Breaking Benjamin – “Blood”
14. lonelytheband – “Broken”
15. Fall Out Boy – “Hold Me Tight or Don’t”
16. Vance Joy – “Saturday Sun”
17. James Bay – “Wild Love”
18. Muse – “Thought Contagion”
19. Beck – “Up All Night”
20. Breaking Benjamin – “Red Cold River”
21. Two Feet – “I Feel Like I’m Drowning”
22. The Killers – “Run for Cover”
23. Papa Roach – “Born for Greatness”
24. Three Days Grace – “The Mountain”
25. Bishop Briggs – “White Flag”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. No Roots
2. Up All Night
3. Feel It Still
4. I Feel Like I’m Drowning
5. Wild Love
6. White Flag
7. Live in the Moment
8. Run for Cover
9. Thought Contagion

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of March 10, 2018

March 8, 2018

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Drake – “God’s Plan”
2. Post Malone ft. Ty Dolla $ign – “Psycho”
3. Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”
4. Bruno Mars and Cardi B – “Finesse”
5. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
6. BlocBoy JB ft. Drake – “Look Alive”
7. Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line – “Meant to Be”
8. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
9. The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar – “Pray for Me”
10. Kendrick Lamar and SZA – “All the Stars”
11. Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey – “The Middle”
12. Migos – “Stir Fry”
13. NF – “Let You Down”
14. Dua Lipa – “New Rules”
15. G-Eazy and Halsey – “Him & I”
16. 6ix9ine – “Gummo”
17. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
18. Post Malone – “I Fall Apart”
19. Kendrick Lamar ft. Zacari – “Love”
20. Bazzi – “Mine”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. New Rules
2. Pray for Me
3. All the Stars
4. Havana
5. Love.

Older Entries Newer Entries