This is probably the funniest thing to come out of late night television since Trebek went insane.
Jeff "Jmunney" Malone's Self-Styled "Expert" Thoughts on Movies, TV, Music, and the Rest of Pop Culture
October 27, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Anthony Hopkins, Cate Blanchett, Chris Hemsworth, Idris Elba, Jeff Goldblum, Karl Urban, Mark Ruffalo, Marvel Cinematic Universe, MCU, Taika Waititi, Tessa Thompson, Thor, Thor: Ragnarok, Tom Hiddleston Leave a comment

CREDIT: Disney/Marvel
This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Idris Elba, Jeff Goldblum, Tessa Thompson, Karl Urban, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Hopkins
Director: Taika Waititi
Running Time: 130 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Colorfully Stylized Action Violence and a Glimpse of Hulk Butt
Release Date: November 3, 2017
Even in its stronger outings, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has consistently exemplified the distressing 21st century trend of “franchise film as trailer for its upcoming sequels.” But putting at the helm Taika Waititi, the New Zealand director behind vampire mockumentary What We Do in the Shadows and coming-of-age charmer Hunt for the Wilderpeople, would perhaps signal a willingness to kick back with an idiosyncratic one-off effort. And indeed, Thor: Ragnarok is not particularly burdened by setting up the next “phase” for all the other Marvel heroes, save for the mandatory post-credits scene as well as an early rendezvous with Doctor Strange that at least has the courtesy to be completely ridiculous. But as Waititi is not creating something out of whole cloth, it is still a bear of a job to wrap his sensibility around Thor’s personal history and Asgard’s extensive mythology.
One of the biggest disappointments of most MCU films, and what made Doctor Strange so satisfying when it bucked this trend, is their lack of imagination in design and music. Their craft is far from ugly, but it is no more than workmanlike. Ragnarok has plenty of personality, but it kind of gets in the way of itself. Mark Mothersbaugh’s prog-rock synth score is entirely fitting, but it never really fully rocks out until the end credits. All the new supporting characters make a convincing case to be the breakout star, but there is only room for so much of that in a busy 2 hours. I would never willingly sacrifice Cate Blanchett’s evil diva goddess Hela, or Jeff Goldblum’s eccentric sensualist Grand Master, or Tessa Thompson’s hard-drinking and unapologetic Valkyrie, or the most hedonistic version of the Hulk we have yet seen on screen. But this is a series of solo acts, not a supergroup. They play nice together, but they only intermittently gel as a unit greater than the sum of its parts.
The plot of Ragnarok is fairly straightforward, but a little overwhelming in its climax, due to the surfeit of moving parts. The titular end of Asgardian days is threatening to come to pass with the return of Hela, the long-imprisoned goddess of death and sister of Thor. Thor and Loki broker one of their many peaces to team up and save their home realm, but they are first waylaid onto the Grand Master’s home planet, where they get caught up in some gladiatorial combat.
By the end of it all, I found myself confused about who was defeated and who was victorious, and how much so on either count. Frankly, I am perfectly willing to forgo any prosaic interpretation for the sake of embracing a more expressionistic experience. This is not hard to do, as there are plenty of blasts of pure imagination (punneriffic reference perfectly intended). Trouble is, the story does matter to the people who made this movie, and even if it did not, it is too imposing to disregard. By the end of all these affairs, Ragnarok is the type of feast that overloads you with deliciousness but leaves you crashing instead of the kind that fills you up and floods you up with endorphins. It is adequately cromulent, but not very transcendent.
Thor: Ragnarok is Recommended If You Like: Doctor Strange, ’70s Glam Rock Stars, Kiwi accents
Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Nonsense Circles
October 26, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Claes Bang, Dominic West, Elisabeth Moss, Ruben Östlund, Terry Notary, The Square 1 Comment

CREDIT: Magnolia Pictures
This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2017.
Starring: Claes Bang, Elisabeth Moss, Dominic West, Terry Notary
Director: Ruben Östlund
Running Time: 142 Minutes
Rating: R for Tourette’s-Fueled Potty Mouth, Outrageously Offensive Violence, and Dangerous Handling of a Condom
Release Date: October 27, 2017 (Limited)
A chimpanzee roommate walks around the apartment right before some hanky-panky is about to go down. A tug-of-war over a condom very nearly leads to some messy results. A shirtless performance artist acts like a gorilla for sanctioned live theater at a fundraiser dinner. For all the merciless weirdness that occurs in The Square, it is ultimately rather on-the-nose with the point it sets out to make.
The Palme d’Or winner at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, The Square is the latest satire from Swedish writer/director Ruben Östlund. To American eyes, it may at first glance seem like the latest case of the Europeans going full-bore with their European wackiness. But to Scandinavian viewers who are likely more familiar with Östlund’s sensibility, this probably looks like a straightforward comedy of manners, if perhaps a bit overlong. Plus, if you can get past the subtitles (and a good chunk of the dialogue is in English anyway), it becomes a lot more accessible. Besides, there is a hardcore zing directed at Comic Sans, so it cannot be completely incomprehensible.
The major conflict involves the testing of museum curator Christian’s (Claes Bang) ideals after his wallet and cell phone are stolen. This actually serves as the perfect opportunity to test out the message of the installation piece by American artist Julian (Dominic West) that Christian is currently presenting. The piece, which gives the film its name, is designed as an area where trust between patrons is binding. It is a slice of society in which everyone is looking out for each other. When Christian distributes a letter throughout an apartment building requesting the quick return of his possessions, his thief actually complies, thus fulfilling the promise of The Square. Alas, as Christian has given his letter out to all the building’s residents, the parents of a preteen boy wrongfully punish him for the same theft. In turn, the boy becomes a steady vengeful thorn in Christian’s side, constantly threatening to “make chaos.” In addition to all that, Christian must deal with a viral video campaign to promote The Square that gets out of hand, as well as the fling he gets into with Anne (Elisabeth Moss), a journalist covering the opening, that develops beyond his emotional comprehension.
The Square is much stronger in its outsize moments of satire than in its more intimate moments. From the viral video that exploits the plight of the homeless by exploding a baby, to the man shouting misogynistic obscenities during an interview at the museum who claims to have Tourette’s, to the aforementioned ape-man performance artist who takes his routine way too far, these set pieces are all steady and effective in their outrageousness. But Christian’s more personal moments of crisis are harder to unpack for a clear meaning. His fight with the non-thief boy putters out unsatisfyingly and a little sickeningly, while his situation with Anne is just plain impossible to define, with Moss giving a performance that is solid but hard to pin down. Overall, The Square is an adventure of morality that will have you asking “How would I act in that situation?” and also, “Is it even worth it to entertain the possibility that I could ever end up in that situation?”
The Square is Recommended If You Like: The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, The Art World but also making fun of the Art World
Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dirt Piles as Art
October 26, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Ethan Coen, Gary Basaraba, George Clooney, Glenn Fleshler, Grant Heslov, Jack Conley, Joel Coen, Julianne Moore, Matt Damon, Noah Jupe, Oscar Isaac, Suburbicon, The Coen Brothers Leave a comment
CREDIT: Paramount Pictures/Black Bear Pictures
This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2017.
Starring: Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, Noah Jupe, Oscar Isaac, Glenn Fleshler, Jack Conley, Gary Basaraba
Director: George Clooney
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Rating: R for Wiseguy-Style Punching, Stabbing, Explosions, and Poisoning and Some Slap-Happy Hanky-Panky
Release Date: October 27, 2017
In the perfect mid-20th Century American town of Suburbicon (basically Leave It to Beaver sprung to life), the dream of raising a family with no worries and getting along with all your neighbors has been fully, uniformly realized. Or at least, that’s how it’s being sold. Whenever a movie begins with a montage praising picture-perfect suburbia, it is clear that we are actually in for satire. In this case, it is a violently screwball riff on Double Indemnity.
The idea that a utopian town can really exist is punctured fairly immediately when the home of Gardner Lodge (Matt Damon) and his wife Rose (Julianne Moore) is invaded by a couple of goons intent on thievery and terrorizing. Rose ends up dying at the hands of the thieves, leaving Gardner to raise their son Nicky (Noah Jupe) with the help of Rose’s twin sister Margaret (also Moore). But it soon becomes clear that Gardner and Margaret were behind Rose’s death, for the sake of paying off Gardner’s mob debts and so that they can cash in on the life insurance policy on Rose and escape to a Caribbean paradise. So this really is 100% Double Indemnity in the Cleavers’ neighborhood.
Ultimately, though, Suburbicon does not offer much new to say with its recontextualization, save for Matt Damon riding a comically undersized bicycle. Considering the talent assembled, that is notably disappointing. But it is not entirely surprising, as the array of violence involves the Coen brothers (who wrote the script along with Clooney and Grant Heslov) indulging in their most outrageous tendencies. At least Oscar Isaac livens things up quite a bit as the claims adjuster of claims adjusters, though his appearance is all too brief (somewhat necessarily so).
But wait! If that narrative disappoints you, why not check out the other fully fleshed out story existing within the very same movie? Suburbicon has just welcomed its first black family, although “welcomed” is far from the right word for many residents. It seems that this town’s ideals are false not just because it cannot keep the mob at bay but also because its lily-white identity includes a big hunk of racism.
If this sounds like two completely different movies, that it is in fact how much of it plays out. But that is also kind of the point. The racism portion gets relatively short shrift, but the idea does seem to be that Suburbicon, and in turn America, would like to pretend that this problem does not exist. That is a tricky point to make, though, and Suburbicon’s touch is not exactly delicate. Ultimately, then, the film is well-intentioned, but its tone is too all over the place for those intentions to be as clear as they need to be.
Suburbicon is Recommended If You Like: Anything and everything influenced by Double Indemnity, The Coen Brothers at their most cartoonishly violent, Two movies with starkly different focuses smooshed together
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Explosions
October 25, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Amy Schumer, Beulah Koale, Haley Bennett, Jason Hall, Joe Cole, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Miles Teller, Thank You for Your Service Leave a comment

CREDIT: Francois Duhamel/DreamWorks Pictures/Universal
This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2017.
Starring: Miles Teller, Haley Bennett, Beulah Koale, Amy Schumer, Joe Cole, Keisha Castle-Hughes
Director: Jason Hall
Running Time: 108 Minutes
Rating: R for PTSD Hallucinations and the Resultant Anger
Release Date: October 27, 2017
When American Sniper racked up over $300 million at the domestic box office, it wasn’t shocking just because it featured zero comic book superheroes or animated talking animals, but also because of how focused it was on the homefront. Its Iraq-set sequences were generally not very memorable; instead, its main purpose for existing was to bring to the fore the scourge of post-traumatic stress disorder on U.S. soil. I doubt that Thank You for Your Service, written and directed by Sniper screenwriter Jason Hall, will rake in similarly huge bucks, but it has learned the right lessons from its predecessor of where to place its focus.
Thank You is primarily concerned with the perpetually overburdened Department of Veterans Affairs, which is trying to offer psychiatric help for its returning soldiers, but the soonest it can offer appointments is 12 weeks, but sometimes no earlier than nine months. For vets like Adam (Teller), Aieti (Koale), and Will (Cole), that is just as life-threatening as combat in Iraq. This might not sound like the most rousing of cinematic premises, but the way it plays out is quite thrilling. PTSD episodes exist as disorienting hallucinations that are the more surreal for just how minimally they depart from reality. A fallen comrade suddenly appears and seems to be perfectly corporeal but then lets out a blood-curdling scream, inciting a burst of uncontrollable violence. It plays out as horror that will hit too close to home for many.
Anchoring the whole endeavor and preventing it from becoming too overwhelming is Teller, who has developed a knack for playing characters with plenty of hustle who take on much more weight than anyone has asked them to. Adam’s burden is less PTSD and more survivor’s guilt. He struggles to atone for a squadmate he attempted to save but who ended up partially paralyzed, and he can barely face the widow of a fellow sergeant who died after taking his place on one coincidental day. That he ultimately does face his fears provides some hope that maybe this system is not entirely broken. As a narrative machine, Thank You for Your Service is a little creaky, but it pulls through with astutely observed interactions between soldier and soldier or soldier and spouse, and brings it all home with a gentle catharsis.
Thank You for Your Service is Recommended If You Like: American Sniper, Jacob’s Ladder
Grade: 3 out of 5 PTSD Hallucinations
October 25, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Ahna O’Reilly, All I See is You, Blake Lively, Danny Huston, Jason Clarke, Marc Forster, Miquel Fernández, Wes Chatham Leave a comment

CREDIT: Roland Neveu/Open Road Films
This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2017.
Starring: Blake Lively, Jason Clarke, Danny Huston, Ahna O’Reilly, Wes Chatham, Miquel Fernández
Director: Marc Forster
Running Time: 110 Minutes
Rating: R for Sex Ranging From Passionate to Frustrated to Illicit to Voyeuristic
Release Date: October 27, 2017 (Moderate)
A couple is in the throes of passion, nearing climax. The woman is blind, but that does not mean she lacks vision entirely. For her, this moment is like a kaleidoscope of rapture, the embrace between her and her husband replicated throughout her entire field of perception. It is a euphoric start for All I See is You, whose aesthetic ambitions far outstrip its narrative ones.
Gina (Blake Lively, rarely better) is the victim of an accident that stripped her of her eyesight. Her husband James (Jason Clarke) has remained a steady presence during her time of darkness. The part of her brain meant to interpret the work of her eyes is still working, so instead of pitch black, she is treated to a constant laser light show. For about the first half hour, director Marc Forster and his design team revel in the opportunities to render the subjective experience of blindness in cinematic terms. But then, her doctor (Huston) promises a procedure to restore her sight, which proves to be a liability for both the film’s creativity and Gina and James’ relationship. Despite how trustworthy as his character is meant to be, it goes to show you that anyone played by Danny Huston cannot help but be ominous.
With Gina on the road to a full recovery, the film takes a swerve into a dour drama about love on the rocks, and not a very interesting one. James proves to be too prudish and unadventurous for Gina, but the real problem is his controlling nature. It was easier when he could be the steady hand when she was blind, but now he is practically useless. It does not help that they are struggling to have a baby, with James likely lashing out due to his own impotence. There is perhaps a story worth exploring here about how this relationship was kept afloat by a disability, but any conclusions drawn therein are rather vague. Besides, it feels pointless to even bother what themes the film is trying to touch on here (something about voyeurism?) when it abandons its best feature way too quickly.
All I See is You is Recommended If You Like: Terrence Malick-ian visuals, Leaving 30 minutes after the movie starts
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Lasers
October 24, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, I Won't Back Down, Tom Petty Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.
Original Version
1. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
2. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
4. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
5. Theory of a Deadman – “Rx (Medicate)”
6. Tom Petty – “Free Fallin'”
7. Tom Petty – “I Won’t Back Down”
8. 30 Seconds to Mars – “Walk on Water”
9. The Killers – “The Man”
10. Zach Williams – “Old Church Choir”
11. Beck – “Up All Night”
12. Linkin Park – “One More Light”
13. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”
14. Foo Fighters – “The Sky is a Neighborhood”
15. The Lumineers – “Angela”
16. Fall Out Boy – “The Last of the Real Ones”
17. Vance Joy – “Lay It on Me”
18. U2 – “You’re the Best Thing About Me”
19. Judah & the Lion – “Suit and Jacket”
20. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – “Learning to Fly”
21. Tom Petty – “You Don’t Know How It Feels”
22. Walk the Moon – “One Foot”
23. The Dirty Heads – “Vacation”
24. Alice Merton – “No Roots”
25. All Time Low – “Good Times”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. I Won’t Back Down
2. No Roots
3. Up All Night
4. Free Fallin’
5. Learning to Fly
6. Feel It Still
7. The Sky is a Neighborhood
8. Mary Jane’s Last Dance
9. You Don’t Know How It Feels
10. The Man
11. You’re the Best Thing About Me
12. Lay It on Me
October 24, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Feel It Still, Portugal. The Man Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.
Original Version
1. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
2. Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)”
3. Logic ft. Alessia Cara and Khalid – “1-800-273-8255”
4. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
5. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
6. J. Balvin and Willy William ft. Beyoncé – “Mi Gente”
7. Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”
8. Sam Smith – “Too Good at Goodbyes”
9. French Montana ft. Swae Lee – “Unforgettable”
10. Taylor Swift – “Look What You Made Me Do”
11. Gucci Mane ft. Migos – “I Get the Bag”
12. Charlie Puth – “Attention”
13. P!nk – “What About Us”
14. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
15. Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber – “Despacito”
16. 21 Savage – “Bank Account”
17. Yo Gotti ft. Nicki Minaj – “Rake It Up”
18. Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”
19. Maroon 5 ft. SZA – “What Lovers Do”
20. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Feel It Still
2. Havana
3. Mi Gente
4. Unforgettable
October 24, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Denis O’Hare, Dianna Agron, Julianne Nicholson, Margaret Betts, Margaret Qualley, Melissa Leo, Novitiate Leave a comment

CREDIT: Sony Pictures Classics
This review was originally posted on News Cult in October 2017.
Starring: Margaret Qualley, Melissa Leo, Julianne Nicholson, Dianna Agron, Denis O’Hare
Director: Margaret Betts
Running Time: 123 Minutes
Rating: R for Sexuality and Profanity-Laced Anger That Can Be Suppressed for Only So Long
Release Date: October 27, 2017 (Limited)
An institution as massive and long-lasting as the Catholic Church is bound to be filled with corners that many of its members are completely unfamiliar with. Sometimes those areas are not even the ones that are shamefully hidden. They may actually be intrinsic features, but if allowed to function independently, they can involve into a weird hybrid of both doctrinaire and renegade. I was raised (and remain) Catholic, but I was born decades after the reforms of Vatican II, which rendered the most extreme practices of convents as seen in Novitiate verobten. But even if I had been a churchgoer in the ’60s, I doubt I would have been familiar with the ins and outs of the nuns’ rigorous training. And yet, this story does not feel fully alien, nor should it feel so to anyone of any background who has ever desired feelings of deep love and devotion.
This examination of religious life is mainly told through the story of Sister Cathleen (Margaret Qualley), who in 1964 is one of the convent’s new class of postulants (candidates to become nuns) who eventually become novitiates (nuns-in-training). Margaret’s ready acceptance of the convent’s extreme practices, e.g. self-abnegation, has nothing to do with lifelong indoctrination, as she comes from a family of bitterly divorced, agnostic parents (at least Mom is agnostic, Dad is never much around). Her attraction to marrying God is perhaps a desire for stability, but it is also more than that. Stirring in her is an aching for transcendence that cannot easily be explained by nurture (or lack thereof). Setting her up as the novice character to follow in this secretive world is crucial, because otherwise the convent’s frightening elements would feel almost abstract and theoretical.
As the convent is resisting the reforms of Vatican II that were then being enacted, the message is clear that this is not the right way to practice religious devotion. But that historical background of rebuke is unnecessary to make that point, except perhaps for viewers with the most hardened of souls. The training and practices – oppressive silence, avoidance of eye contact, asceticism, confession in a group setting – are reminiscent of the auditing of Scientology, so memorably approximated in The Master. Ostensibly designed to make its adherents better people and closer to God, its true effects are vulnerability and surrender to authority. Overseeing all this is the Mother Superior (Melissa Leo), who while sitting on her throne of a central chair, is reminiscent of Pan’s Laybrinth’s Pale Man.
Novitiate is powerful grist for the mill for those who decry the problems inherent to all religions and for those who remain religious but point to this as an example of the wrong way of doing things. And quite frankly, it may very well also make such a connection to the ultra-traditionalists and reactionaries, who might see this as a lament for the old, better way. It is a fascinatingly human look at all those urges, appealing both to a desire to connect to a higher power and a desire to not be wrong.
Novitiate is Recommended If You Like: Spotlight, The Master, Silence
Grade: 4 out of 5 Grand Silences
October 20, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Jaden Michael, James Urbaniak, Julianne Moore, Michelle Williams, Millicent Simmonds, Oakes Fegley, Todd Haynes, Tom Noonan, Wonderstruck Leave a comment

CREDIT: Roadside Attractions
Todd Haynes tries his hand at crosscutting concurrent (but not contemporaneous) narratives with the lovely Wonderstruck. The 1927-set and 1977-set portions ultimately converge around the Museum of Natural History in ways that are more than just thematic and geographic. Are the mechanics that get us there smooth or perfunctory? I for one find it satisfying. The earnest performances and fastidious pastiche-y touches go a long way in that regard. I am also impressed by the communication with, between, and around the deaf characters. Here’s the big question: was I wonderstruck? Yah.
I give Wonderstruck 7 Wolf Visions out of 9 Miniatures.