This Is a Movie Review: Kenneth Branagh’s Take on ‘Murder on the Orient Express’ Has a Killer Instinct But Not a Killer Execution

November 8, 2017

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CREDIT: Nicola Dove/Twentieth Century Fox

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Kenneth Branagh, Penélope Cruz, Willem Dafoe, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp, Josh Gad, Derek Jacobi, Leslie Odom Jr., Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley, Marwan Kenzari, Olivia Colman, Lucy Boynton, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Stab Wounds and Attempted Gun Wounds

Release Date: November 10, 2017

Kenneth Branagh’s take on Hercule Poirot, one of the most famous and prolifically portrayed detectives in English literary history, is the sort of man who cannot enjoy his breakfast unless his two eggs are perfectly symmetrically arranged. As he puts, “I can only see the world as it should be.” His skill at identifying culprits so precisely derives from his distaste for his surroundings being askew in any capacity. And when a crime has been committed, things are certainly askew. For a Poirot newbie like myself, this thesis statement is clear and compelling enough. It points to a tradition that has led to a recently predominant style in which brilliant detectives do not fit on a normative intellectual scale.

As for how this version of this most classic of Poirot cases plays out, Branagh is eager to put his many new spins on locked room mystery tropes. But first, certain typical patterns are unavoidable. Each passenger must be introduced with just enough color to make everyone a legitimate suspect, and the camerawork must be painstakingly particular to note every cabin, door, and hidden compartment. But once the setup is through, there is fun to be had (or at least attempted) in mixing up expectations. Oftentimes, characters in these stories try to get away with little lies or hide pieces of their identities that ultimately prove to be quite telling. In this case, the experiment – and alas, mistake – is that everyone gives themselves away with such dishonesty.

A good mystery should be a few steps ahead of most of its viewers. Branagh does indeed pull that off, but he is also a few steps ahead of his own movie, which is not similarly advisable. The result is an end product in which the love for the genre is clear, but the volume at which it is being poked and prodded is too much weight to bear. Most of the performances are overly stiff, stuck in roles within roles in which the unnatural seams start to show. Only Michelle Pfeiffer manages to truly cut loose. Branagh’s formal openness is a good start, but ultimately a star-studded affair like this one requires much more lasting personalities to really hit.

Murder on the Orient Express is Recommended If You Like: Agatha Christie completism, Marvelous mustaches, the Michelle Pfeiffer Renaissance

Grade: 2.75 out of 5 Symmetrical Arrangements

SNL Review November 4, 2017: Larry David/Miley Cyrus

November 5, 2017

jmunney Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television , , , , , , Leave a comment

CREDIT: Kailey Fellows/NBC

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Love It

Ad Council Awards – Anybody can be offensive, but it takes talent to be truly creative with your offensiveness. At first, Larry David’s legendary adman seems like just your run-of-the-mill “things were different back then!” dude with his deployment of “No way. That’s gay” as his version of “Just say no.” But then he flips the script with his take on the disabled and also pulls a most disturbing rabbit out of his hat of tricks when dramatizing alcohol-fueled bad decisions.Tres magnfique.

Beers – Kyle and Beck are profoundly astute when they ramp up the surrealism in their takedowns of ’80s/’90s sitcoms. I worry, though, that they might hit diminishing returns at some point, but that concern may be absolutely unnecessary, as Larry David adds a very different supporting voice than Andrew Garfield, Chris Pratt, and Ryan Gosling. Plus, the dog licking ice cream and dinosaur on the White House lawn interstitials make it clear that this material is endless. But then the coup de grâce of that stabbing – hoo boy, let’s not sleep on these talents.

Heidi Gardner has her first big breakthrough as Angel, Every Boxer’s Girlfriend From Every Boxing Movie Ever. This at first seems like it is going to be a classic case of an Update guest ignoring her prompt, but then she ingeniously incorporates the news into the typical cinematic pugilist framework (“Snoopy, you’re 60 years old!”)…Maybe you need to be a frequenter of New York’s LGBTQ scene (or at least watch RuPaul’s Drag Race) to understand Larry David’s New Wife, but I firmly believe that Cecily Strong’s nonsense-spouting 18-or-55-year-old socialite (?) has wormed her way into all our hearts.

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Handicapping the 2017 Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions

November 3, 2017

jmunney Jeopardy!, Television , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

CREDIT: Jeopardy!

The latest round of Jeopardy!‘s Tournament of Champions is airing November 6-17, and I’m here to rank the contestants in order of how likely I think they are to take the $250,000 grand prize.

(Special mention must be made of Cindy Stowell, who passed away from cancer after winning 6 games. She probably would have been in my top 3 had she survived long enough to make it to the ToC.)

1. Austin Rogers – His personality may rub some viewers the wrong way, but he understands how to play the game better than anyone else in this group, and his resilient attitude goes a long way.
2. Andrew Pau – He survived a gauntlet in his first game (one of the best non-tournament episodes ever) and went on to average nearly $30,000 per win.
3. Tim Aten – A steady competitor with his eyes on the prize.
4. Pranjal Vachaspati – Honestly, after the first two, there’s a huge drop in expectations, but I do remember Pranjal’s friendliness taking him far.
5. Seth Wilson – He won 12 games, which seems crazy in retrospect. But you gotta respect anyone who has a double digit streak.
6. Buzzy Cohen – Outside of Austin, this Simpsons lawyer lookalike is the most divisive player, but (even though he won 9 games) he’s nowhere near as impressive.
7. Sam Deutsch – Sam’s a strong College Tournament champ, but his presence mostly makes me sad that we won’t see College runner-up Niki Peters here.
8. Lilly Chin – Lilly’s also a strong College champ who I do not think will be intimidated by her adult competition.
9. Hunter Appler – At this point, we’re getting into the territory of, “Oh, I kind of remember him winning a lot.”
10. Lisa Schlitt – Lisa always looked shocked when she won. It will serve her best to come in expecting to win this time around.
11. Jason Sterlacci – Outside of Colby Burnett, I’ve never been much impressed by a Teachers Tournament champ, though I wouldn’t be shocked if this Dr. Rich from Community doppelgänger pulls off a run to the final.
12. Justin Vossler – Justin kind of looks like 2015 ToC champ Alex Jacob, but he’s nowhere near as idiosyncratic.
13. Alan Lin – I might be underestimating Alan. Or overestimating. I’m really not sure.
14. Jon Eisenman – I know I watched this guy’s episodes, but I don’t much remember what happened in them.
15. David Clemmons – The level of play in David’s Teachers Tournament was kind of meh.

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Lady Bird’ Will Speak Volumes to Anyone Who Went to Catholic High School in the Early 2000s, or Anyone Who Was Ever a Teenager at Any Time

November 2, 2017

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CREDIT: Merie Wallace/A24

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Tracy Letts, Lucas Hedges, Beanie Feldstein, Timothée Chalamet, Odeya Rush, Jordan Rodrigues, Laura Marano, Lois Smith

Director: Greta Gerwig

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R for Brief Pornographic Images, But Otherwise It Should Be PG-13 for Teens Being Teens

Release Date: November 3, 2017 (Limited)

It makes sense that much of Lady Bird takes place in a Catholic school, as both the Church and Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut strongly advocate for the inherent dignity of the individual human being. Christine McPherson (Saoirse Ronan), who prefers to go by “Lady Bird” (which still counts as a given name because she gave it to herself), is a high school senior in Sacramento (“the Midwest of California,” as she puts it) in 2002 (according to her, the most exciting thing about that year is that it is a palindrome) who dreams of escaping to a liberal arts college on the East Coast, despite her thoroughly average academic résumé. There is a hint that she is an underachiever (an offhand comment notes that her SAT scores are surprisingly high), but no matter the why of her being in the middle, her life struggle is still compelling. It is not so much that she has a particularly unusual personality or worldview by teenage millennial standards; she doesn’t really. Rather, she is worth paying attention to because someone bothered to tell her story.

The most filling narrative meat involves Lady Bird’s interactions with her mom Marion (Laurie Metcalf). Anyone who has had constant drag-out cutting fights with their own mother despite both sides wanting to get along will recognize this impasse. Metcalf is an expert at navigating the fluid dynamics of parent/child relationships, while Ronan is heartbreaking as she attempts to reconcile forging her own identity with pleasing the people she cares about. And let’s not sleep on Tracy Letts as Lady Bird’s dad Larry, her quiet ally making his own way through job insecurity and depression. His is a notably un-showy performance surrounded by a couple of demonstrative women, but his quiet embodiment of personal dignity still comes through loud and clear.

For a 90-minute film, Lady Bird has a remarkably deep bench, but that is just natural for a film that values dignity so highly. As Lady Bird’s best friend Julie, Beanie Feldstein could have easily been the wacky sidekick, but instead she’s a supportive, goofy pal who also has her own stuff going on. Lucas Hedges slots in nicely as the first boyfriend who turns out to be closeted – his story is familiar, but deeply felt. We do not see as much of Timothée Chalamet and Odeya Rush as an alternate love interest and the popular girl, respectively, but we get enough that their characterizations go beyond “Strokes-esque rocker boy” and “airhead in advanced placement classes.” All the kids speak in the faux-profundity typical of adolescence (“very baller” is spouted in the same breath as “very anarchist), a touch that is both mocking and respectful, taking these kids to task but also treating them honestly. And special mention must also be made of Lois Smith as a nun who loves a good prank, surprisingly enough.

Gerwig fills in this world with a lot of well-observed details that give a natural sheen to post-9/11 American reality. Lady Bird rebukes a classmate for being “Republican” when bringing up concerns about terrorism in New York. The soundtrack draws from five years earlier more so than it does the hits of 2002, recognizing the eclectic nature of Gen Y (that has only grown more eclectic). Lady Bird is simply a sharply observed film about one voice and many voices, and all anyone has ever asked for is that they be given a chance for their voices to be heard.

Lady Bird is Recommended If You Like: Saved!, Adventureland, An Education

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Communion Wafers

This Is a Movie Review: Takashi Miike Has a Bloody Good Time with ‘Blade of the Immortal’

November 1, 2017

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CREDIT: Magnet Releasing

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Takuya Kimura, Hana Sugisaki, Sōto Fukushi, Hayato Ichihara

Director: Takashi Miike

Running Time: 140 Minutes

Rating: R for Swordplay Between Hard-to-Kill Individuals, Which Means Extra-Extra Blood

Release Date: November 3, 2017 (Limited)

Blade of the Immortal is the latest feature from Takashi Miike, the legendary Japanese auteur behind cult classics like Audition and Ichi the Killer who has somehow managed to amass over 100 directing credits in a little under 30 years. Blade is my first exposure to a work by Miike, or perhaps it is more accurate to say, it is my first exposure to his work in full. The posters and DVD cover art for Audition and Ichi are equal parts entrancing and disturbing, enough to make you almost feel like you’ve experienced an entire movie just by sneaking a glance. Blade keeps things just as sensuously luscious, thoroughly maintaining Miike’s extreme reputation (he did direct a segment of the anthology film Three… Extremes, after all).

Miike takes quite naturally to the samurai genre, unsurprisingly reveling in a blood-soaked tale of vengeance. After the murder of her parents, Rin (Sugisaki) is out to track down the syndicate behind the killing. To help mete out her revenge, she partners up with Manji (Kimura), a local immortal samurai, who definitively considers his inability to die a curse. For all you comic book aficionados out there, he’s basically a Japanese Wolverine (which isn’t too hard to fathom considering Logan’s own occasional trips to Japan). Blade does not too get detailed in its thematic take on revenge, though it is worth noting that Rin believes there is a proper way to carry out the deed (one-on-one combat is preferable to an army massacring an individual).

The main purpose of watching Blade of the Immortal is to see how Miike indulges his gory appetite. And indeed, there is plenty of twisting of swords, splatter of blood, and hacking of limbs. Without getting too spoiler-iffic, a death at the end is absolutely perfectly explosively sanguinary. The mechanics of Manji’s self-healing are also memorable, driven as they are by so-called “bloodworms” residing in his circulatory system. It is worth noting that I was able to admire the many closeups of the bloodworms at work despite a personal history of physiologically involuntary squeamishness. But the strongest technical triumph is actually auditory. Every thud and thump on the jungle ground is mixed just so. At the end of the day, this is a movie that is just lovingly devoted to its craft.

Blade of the Immortal is Recommended If You Like: Samurai movies with maximum gore, Kill Bill, The Handmaiden

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Bloodworms

‘I Love You, Daddy’ Was Already Creepy Before the Louis C.K. Allegations Broke. Now It’s Totally Inexplicable

November 1, 2017

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CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot

This essay was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

After multiple women came forward with stories of sexual misconduct perpetrated against them by Louis C.K., The Orchard pulled his film I Love You, Daddy (written, directed by, and starring C.K.) from its release schedule, just a week before it was set to come out. Considering the nature of the accusations, C.K. confessing to their truth, and the subject matter of the film, there was really no other choice for The Orchard to make, despite having paid $5 million for the distribution rights. Whenever entertainers get caught up in scandal, the viability of their projects is called into question, both financially and ethically. In this case, that is especially true, as I Love You, Daddy is astoundingly reflective of C.K.’s own experiences.

I Love You, Daddy will likely never see the light of a full theatrical release, but it was screening for press up until just a few days before it was pulled from the schedule. It offers plenty that is worth discussing, but I cannot imagine it is something that any potential viewer could ever unabashedly enjoy, even if C.K. had never masturbated in front of women without their consent. The premise reads like the worst possible idea that can be conceived in light of this story coming out. C.K. plays Glen Topher, a TV writer/producer (he’s pretty much basically playing himself) who tries to prevent his 17-year-old daughter China (Chloë Grace-Moretz) from dating 68-year-old filmmaker Leslie Goodwin (John Malkovich), who is infamous for his predilection for younger women and has been dogged for years by rumors of sexual abuse.

Did C.K. mean for I Love You, Daddy to be some sort of elaborate confession/apology? (At one point, Glen literally says, “I’m sorry, women.”) Or is he just baiting us, as The Huffington Post’s Matthew Jacobs suggests, into thinking it is something more substantial than it actually is? I can only speculate at his motivation. Perhaps he will speak to that publicly at some point. I often make a point when discussing controversial films to emphasize that portrayal does not equal endorsement, but in this case, that maxim falls short. I can describe for you the specific events that happen in I Love You, Daddy (like one character aggressively miming masturbation in front of others), but I am struggling to figure out what message, if any, it is portraying or endorsing. But considering the subject matter and the real-life context, that ambiguity cannot be defended.

Even if C.K. were not guilty of sexual misconduct, I Love You, Daddy would still be a dicey proposition. Leslie is clearly a stand-in for Woody Allen, who started his relationship with his wife, Soon-Yi Previn, when she was still a teenager and he was in his fifties and who has been accused of sexual abuse by his own children. The film is also a clear homage to Allen’s Manhattan, in which he plays a 42-year-old dating a 17-year-old. Let’s suppose a hypothetical in which Allen and C.K. are both free of controversy, rendering Glen and Leslie both wholly fictional creations. Even in that case, I Love You, Daddy is still creepy and misguided. In its best possible version, it could have seriously grappled with whether or not human beings’ most socially unacceptable urges can ever be morally defended. But that would require a delicate touch that this film simply does not have.

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of November 11, 2017

October 31, 2017

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
2. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
3. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
4. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
5. Theory of a Deadman – “Rx (Medicate)”
6. Thirty Seconds to Mars – “Walk on Water”
7. Tom Petty – “Free Fallin'”
8. Zach Williams – “Old Church Choir”
9. Linkin Park – “One More Light”
10. The Killers – “The Man”
11. Foo Fighters – “The Sky is a Neighborhood”
12. Vance Joy – “Lay It on Me”
13. Tom Petty – “I Won’t Back Down”
14. The Lumineers – “Angela”
15. Beck – “Up All Night”
16. U2 – “You’re the Best Thing About Me”
17. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”
18. Fall Out Boy – “The Last of the Real Ones”
19. A Perfect Circle – “The Doomed”
20. Judah & the Lion – “Suit and Jacket”
21. Alice Merton – “No Roots”
22. Walk the Moon – “One Foot”
23. All Time Low – “Good Times”
24. Tom Petty – “You Don’t Know How It Feels”
25. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – “Learning to Fly”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. I Won’t Back Down
2. No Roots
3. Up All Night
4. Free Fallin’
5. Learning to Fly
6. Feel It Still
7. The Sky is a Neighborhood
8. Mary Jane’s Last Dance
9. You Don’t Know How It Feels
10. The Man
11. You’re the Best Thing About Me
12. Lay It on Me

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of November 11, 2017

October 31, 2017

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – “Rockstar”
2. Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)”
3. Logic ft. Alessia Cara and Khalid – “1-800-273-8255”
4. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
5. Imagine Dragons – “Thunder”
6. Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”
7. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana”
8. J. Balvin and Willy William ft. Beyoncé – “Mi Gente”
9. Sam Smith – “Too Good at Goodbyes”
10. Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”
11. French Montana ft. Swae Lee – “Unforgettable”
12. Maroon 5 ft. SZA – “What Lovers Do”
13. Taylor Swift – “Gorgeous”
14. Lil Pump – “Gucci Gang”
15. 21 Savage – “Bank Account”
16. Charlie Puth – “Attention”
17. Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber – “Despacito”
18. Gucci Mane ft. Migos – “I Get the Bag”
19. Yo Gotti ft. Nicki Minaj – “Rake It Up”
20. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Feel It Still
2. Havana
3. Mi Gente
4. Unforgettable

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Last Flag Flying’ Hashes Out the Personal Effects of War with Endless Conversations

October 31, 2017

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CREDIT: Wilson Webb/Lionsgate

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Steve Carell, Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburne

Director: Richard Linklater

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: R for Dropping Some Profanity with Your Buds

Release Date: November 3, 2017 (Limited)/Expands Nationwide November 17, 2017

Richard Linklater’s Last Flag Flying is a sequel to Hal Ashby’s 1973 film The Last Detail, but you wouldn’t know that from any of the promotional materials, which make no mention of the earlier flick. You also wouldn’t know it from looking at the character names, which are not consistent between the two films. I have not seen The Last Detail, but as far as I can gather, Bryan Cranston is playing a version of a character played by Jack Nicholson, Laurence Fishburne is doing a spin on Otis Young, and Steve Carell is updating a role by (of all people) Randy Quaid. Anyway, as for the actual narrative of Last Flag Flying, all this background info is basically just as a curiosity, as this unofficial sequel stands perfectly well enough on its own.

If you were to go into Last Flag Flying completely unaware of The Last Detail (and presumably many people will), you would possibly find yourself thinking, “Hey! There’s plenty of room to craft a prequel out of this story.” Vietnam War veterans Larry “Doc” Shepherd (Carell), Sal Nealon (Cranston), and Richard Mueller (Fishburne) are psychologically torn asunder but forever bound by an incident at the end of their time in the same Marine unit. Doc committed a petty crime, Sal and Mueller helped discipline him, and he spent a couple years in a military prison. There is no ill will between the three of them, but they have gone decades without seeing each other. Now they are reuniting in a way that reunions so often unfortunately happen. Doc’s son has followed his father into the Marines, enlisting for the Iraq War, where he has died in an ambush. With few close family or friends, Doc turns to his old service buddies to help escort his son’s body to the funeral.

What follows is a trip from Virginia to New Hampshire. Instead of wide open shots of the open road we get cramped moments along the heavily trafficked Mid-Atlantic and northeast United States. Also, talking. Lots and lots of talking. Doc, Sal, and Mueller shoot the shit, air out grievances, ask pressing philosophical questions about their country and life and death, and generally strengthen an eternal bond of friendship.

While it may not necessarily be their most well-known trademark, all three stars are notable for their oratory. Just consider Cranston’s deadly commands as Walter White, Carell’s wild verbal dexterity in the likes of The Daily Show and Bruce Almighty, or Fishburne’s spellbinding declarations in The Matrix. For the most part, Last Flag plays its conversations in a much more mild key than those examples, but the effects are still quite pressing. There are questions about the point of even venturing into Iraq. It’s still 2003, thus before the falsification of evidence that led to this war has fully been revealed, so these worries are not about especially particular objections, but they are no less pressing. Running through the bloodstream of this film is a very human desire for simple respect, to be told straight what is actually going on. Last Flag Flying is for anyone who values forthrightness, and for anyone who can share in the joy of three middle-aged guys buying their very first cell phones in the middle of Manhattan.

Last Flag Flying is Recommended If You Like: The Big Chill, My Dinner with Andre, Catching up with old friends.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Black Men Named Richard

Links to Dan Harmon’s Season 6 Communitary

October 29, 2017

jmunney Community, Television , , , , , 2 Comments

[5/5/21 UPDATE: These links don’t appear to be active anymore. I’ll re-link if they show up again somewhere. In the meantime, the commentaries ARE available on the Season 6 Blu-ray!]

I still haven’t re-watched every Community Season 6 episode with the addition of Dan Harmon’s commentary tracks, so I decided to make a post with some handy-dandy links for easy access.

1. “Ladders”
2. “Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care”
3. “Basic Crisis Room Decorum”
4. “Queer Studies and Advanced Waxing”
5. “Laws of Robotics and Party Rights”
6. “Basic Email Security”
7. “Advanced Safety Features”
8. “Intro to Recycled Cinema”
9. “Grifting 101”
10. “Basic RV Repair and Palmistry”
11. “Modern Espionage”
12. “Wedding Videography”
13. “Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television“

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