Jeff "Jmunney" Malone's Self-Styled "Expert" Thoughts on Movies, TV, Music, and the Rest of Pop Culture
April 23, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Larry Skywalker and That Weird Bear, Last Week Tonight Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Last Week Tonight with Larry Skywalker and That Weird Bear
Monday – Better Call Saul
Tuesday – American Housewife
Wednesday – Another Fargo, another messy death
Thursday – Superstore
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – Doctor Who
April 20, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Cheryl Ladd, Denise Di Novi, Geoff Stults, Isabella Rice, Katherine Heigl, Rosario Dawson, Unforgettable, Whitney Cummings Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.
Starring: Rosario Dawson, Katherine Heigl, Geoff Stults
Director: Denise Di Novi
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Rating: R for Impromptu Bathroom Sex and Bloody Carpets
Release Date: April 21, 2017
When Sia’s “Bird Set Free” played at the end of The Shallows, it was one of the most cathartic cinematic moments of 2016. Domestic-revenge thriller Unforgettable bungles the proper order of things by playing this inspirational ballad over the opening credits. This ode to finding yourself in your own melodies is perfect for that moment when the lead character has gotten through all her hardships and is starting anew. This is actually how we are introduced to Julia Banks (Rosario Dawson), who is moving to a new city and getting engaged in the wake of escaping an abusive relationship, but the impact of that exuberance can only be felt mildly without experiencing those troubles alongside Julia.
Strangely enough, though, what Unforgettable most gets right is its pacing. That execution is essential, because otherwise this would just be the latest disposable Fatal Attraction copycat. And at first glance, Unforgettable appears to be totally forgettable. But that may be by design. Julia’s fiancée is conventionally handsome David (Geoff Stults), and David’s ex Tessa (Katherine Heigl) is still in the picture because they share custody of their daughter (Isabella Rice). Tessa clearly wants David back, because of what we assume to be run-of-the-mill jealousy but eventually reveals itself as stone cold, high camp psychopathy.
This might be the most self-aware performance Heigl has ever given. Certainly the script (by Christina Hodson and David Leslie Johnson) stealthily reveals itself to be playing off of her toxic reputation. Heigl’s string of ’00s rom-coms were alternately insipid and hateful; Unforgettable presupposes that maybe she was just being engineered to be a merciless killer the whole time.
In the question of nature vs. nurture, the latter seems to be the answer in this case, as Tessa’s obsessions are in large part the result of Mommie Dearest/Stepford-style engineering from Mom Cheryl Ladd. Tessa tries to present herself as simply high-strung, but the cracks gradually reveal themselves. Relatively mildly cutting dialogue like “Do you miss when Mommy and Daddy lived together?” eventually gives way to referring to her daughter as “living, breathing, perfect cement” and finally a climax in which she greets someone in bloody pain with, “You’ve handled this very poorly.” Sometimes, you just have to pull that ponytail tight and embrace the demon within.
Unforgettable is Recommended If You Like: Lifetime movies, Carrie, Allison Williams’ performance in Get Out
Grade: 3 out of 5 Knives to the Heart
April 20, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Angela Sarafyan, Charlotte Le Bon, Christian Bale, James Cromwell, Oscar Isaac, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Terry George, The Promise Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.
Starring: Oscar Isaac, Charlotte Le Bon, Christian Bale
Director: Terry George
Running Time: 134 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Acknowledging Crimes of Humanity Against Humanity
Release Date: April 21, 2017
This February’s Bitter Harvest strove for epic love against the real-life backdrop of the Soviet Ukrainian famine of the 1930’s. The effort to shine a light on an oft-ignored chapter in history was admirable, but the tame dramatization resulted in a less-than-memorable story. The Promise operates by much the same principles of historical examination but ends up with something more compelling, thanks to a more complicated romantic scenario. The setting in this case is especially relevant: the World War I-era systematic extermination of Armenians within the Ottoman Empire, which the Turkey (Ottoman’s successor) to this day refuses to refer to as “genocide.” If shots of fleeing Armenians can stir up empathy for today’s refugees, then The Promise will prove its worth in at least one way.
Furthering the Bitter Harvest comparison, The Promise is the latest in a long line of American-produced historical epics with questionable casting. There are some Armenians and Turks among the supporting cast, but the main players consist of a mix of Guatemalan (Oscar Isaac), Iranian (Shohreh Aghdashloo), and French Canadian (Charlotte Le Bon, although at least in her case she is playing an Armenian raised in Paris). Even the main American is played by a Welsh-Englishman!
I am not systematically opposed to an actor’s ethnicity not matching up with the character, but when a movie is about the attempted destruction of an entire people, and only one of the principal roles is played by a member of that people (Westworld’s Angela Sarafyan), the optics do not look great. Isaac’s accent work is solid, and he brings so much decency to his performance such that his lack of Middle Eastern heritage does not detract from the film’s overall quality. Still, it is worth considering this issue from a business and humanistic standpoint.
The Promise illuminates how emotional and familial well-being are insignificant but also essential in the face of widespread disaster. The synopses I have encountered have billed this as a love triangle, but it is really more of a quadrangle. Armenian villager Mikael (Isaac) moves to Constantinople for medical school, which he can afford thanks to the dowry he receives after agreeing to marry fellow villager Maral (Sarafyan). While in school, he meets and falls in love with Ana (Le Bon). She quite passionately reciprocates his feelings, though she is married to American journalist Chris (Bale).
As war breaks out, the story takes a turn toward labor camps, escapes under cover of night, and attempts to flee the country. The romantic rivals are allies in the greater struggle of exposing the truth and rescuing their loved ones. Isaac conveys the burden and resolve of a man bound by duty that is at odds with his once-in-a-lifetime romance. When he and Bale share the screen, the tension is riveting – you are never sure if they will punch or hug each other. This is the struggle of an existence driven by both emotions and morals. When humanity – both the principle and the population – is threatened with extinction, living right and living passionately still must find a way.
The Promise is Recommended If You Like: Atonement, Titanic, Saving Private Ryan
Grade: 3 out of 5 Sacrifices
April 19, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Armie Hammer, Ben Wheatley, Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, Free Fire, Jack Reynor, Sharlto Copley 1 Comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.
Starring: Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, Jack Reynor
Director: Ben Wheatley
Running Time: 90 Minutes
Rating: R for Living Up to the Promise of Its Title
Release Date: April 21, 2017
Free Fire dresses up an illicit arms deal in fancy ’70s formalwear and then bloodies up the pretensions with unrelenting chaos. The trick to making all this pleasant – or at least attempting to do so – is an equally endless stream of witty rejoinders. This technique is strongest between the odd couple pairing of Sharlto Copley and Armie Hammer. The former is all high-wire, unpredictable energy. The latter is all suave unflappability. Both are thoroughly confident in their own skins. I would be happy to watch these two volley back-and-forth all day. But I gotta ask, is it necessary that their team-up occur amidst such a destructive hail of bullets?
The obvious antecedent, when it comes to a crime gone amok leading to ultraviolence and goons yammering on, is Quentin Tarantino’s breakout Reservoir Dogs. The difference is that QT’s characters have an inherent point of view, whereas Free Fire co-writer/director Ben Wheatley’s crew mostly just screeches hysterically (not always literally, but it feels like it). There can be humor found in the panic that sets in when a dangerous situation goes pear-shaped, but Free Fire too often confuses nastiness with lunacy. I don’t oppose on-screen graphic violence as a rule, but there ought to be a good reason for it. In this case, it feels like an excuse for a movie that hates all of its characters to just pick them off one-by-one.
Getting back to the folks populating this film, there are several more hooligans besides Copley and Hammer, among them Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy, and Sing Street’s Jack Reynor (who often strikes me as Ireland’s less schlubby answer to Seth Rogen). The fun of these players is primarily geographical. Their dispersal around the warehouse after the shots start firing creates a sort of constantly shifting maze. The narrative thrust is basically sorting out this puzzle. Who makes it out alive? Who cares! What matters is the physical space and the treachery between these dots of human beings. But that’s small change. Let’s cut to the chase and get to work on the Copley-Hammer follow-up.
Free Fire is Recommended If You Like: Pulling the Heads Off Bugs
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 V Necks
April 19, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Born in China, Disneynature, John Krasinski, Lu Chuan, pandas Leave a comment
This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.
Narrator: John Krasinski
Director: Lu Chuan
Running Time: 76 Minutes
Rating: G
Release Date: April 21, 2017
Born in China is the tenth Disneynature documentary (counting both theatrical and non-theatrical releases) but the first that I have seen in its entirety. Normally I do not highlight my moviegoing blind spots, not just because I do not want to appear like a novice but also because it is a generally uninteresting caveat. But in this case I bring it up to make a point.
As far as I can tell, Born in China is basically the same movie stylistically or thematically as Earth, African Cats, Monkey Kingdom, or your average Animal Planet doc. There is the environmentalist ethos, lovingly shot open vistas, and narration that is not shy about anthropomorphizing (this time courtesy of John Krasinski). This is akin to seeing a recurring Saturday Night Live sketch in its hundredth iteration but for the first time for the viewer. As an SNL devotee, I often wonder how casual fans’ experiences differ from my own. A recurring bit that is basically an exact recreation of the original rendition is inevitably a letdown, but someone who has not seen the original does not experience the frustration of repetition. But could there in fact be something lost for viewers both new and old when the novelty has departed? My experience with Disnyenature suggests there could.
While Born in China is hardly a revelation, it does have its charms. If you have the capacity to giggle over a panda falling down a hill (which I do somewhat), then you should have a smile on your face for a good portion of the running time. And if you like the idea of Jim Halpert making up cutesy dialogue for his furry and feathered subjects, then this is for you. This occasionally gives me chuckles, but it can quickly grow tiresome. While the problem with the cheeriness is that it feels all too manufactured, I am not asking for darkness, just a stronger point of view.
Born in China is Recommended If You Like: Spending All Day Watching Animal Planet
Grade: 2 out of 5 Lost Boys
April 18, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music Billboard, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Immigrant Song, Led Zeppelin Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.
Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
6. Lord Huron – “The Night We Met”
7. Gorillaz ft. Mavis Staples and Pusha T – “Let Me Out”
8. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
9. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
10. Gorillaz ft. Popcaan – “Saturnz Barz”
11. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
12. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
13. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
14. Gorillaz ft. D.R.A.M. – “Andromeda”
15. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
16. Led Zeppelin – “Immigrant Song”
17. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
18. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
19. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
20. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
21. The J. Geils Band – “Centerfold”
22. Papa Roach – “Help”
23. Gorillaz ft. Vince Staples – “Ascension”
24. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Hard Love”
25. The Lumineers – “Angela”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Immigrant Song
2. Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Let Me Out
5. Heavydirtysoul
6. Feel It Still
7. Saturnz Barz
8. Love is Mystical
9. Love
10. Andromeda
11. Hard Love
April 18, 2017
Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot 100, Music Alessia Cara, Billboard, Billboard Hot 100, Stay, Zedd Leave a comment
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.
Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
3. Kendrick Lamar – “Humble.”
4. Harry Styles – “Sign of the Times”
5. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
6. KYLE ft. Lil Yacthy – “iSpy”
7. Future – “Mask Off”
8. Lil Uzi Vert – “XO TOUR Llif3”
9. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
10. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
11. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Ain’t Me”
12. Julia Michaels – “Issues”
13. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
14. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”
15. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
16. James Arthur – “Say You Won’t Let Go”
17. The Weeknd – “I Feel It Coming”
18. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
19. Post Malone ft. Quavo – “Congratulations”
20. Khalid – “Location”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Stay
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Sign of the Times
5. Humble.
6. Location
7. Rockabye
8. Bad and Boujee
April 16, 2017
Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television Bruce Chandling, Harry Styles, Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live 4218, Saturday Night Live Season 42, SNL, SNL Season 42, Turtle Shirt Leave a comment
This review was originally posted on News Cult in April 2017.
Love It
Turtle Shirt – Like Bad Idea Jeans, Three-Legged Jeans, and Mom Jeans before it, SNL has debuted a new piece of attire we never knew we needed. This time, it isn’t just a fashion statement, it’s also supremely functional! The Turtle Shirt is perfect for those moments when you need to warp reality.
Jimmy Fallon says “Take Me Back” to Cecily Strong, and the reason why she won’t is a perfectly timely and disturbing twist…While Michael and Colin’s political chops have matured, I think they’re at their best when they’re at their goofiest, so it’s a bonus when their focus on the government is as fierce as it is here…Bruce Chandling does not remember “what it feels like it to be kissed,” but thanks to him, now we know not to kiss the wrong type of chocolate…The Basketball Film Shoot is simply a fantastic example of background physical comedy.
April 16, 2017
Television, What Won TV? Archer, Better Call Saul, Last Week Tonight, MST3K, Mystery Science Theater 3000, RIverdale, Saturday Night Live, SNL, The Mick, Turtle Shirts Leave a comment
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Monday – Better Call Saul
Tuesday – The Mick
Wednesday – Archer
Thursday – Riverdale
Friday – Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Yes, I contributed.)
Saturday – SNL turns down for Turtle Shirts
April 16, 2017
Cinema, Movie Reviews Charlize Theron, Dwayne Johnson, F. Gary Gray, Kurt Russell, Ludacris, Michelle Rodriguez, Scott Eastwood, The Fate of the Furious, Tyrese Gibson, Vin Diesel Leave a comment
The last three entries in the Fast & Furious series brought me fully on board the “quarter mile at a time” lifestyle, thanks to their brazenly unrealistic stunts leaving me totally breathless. (The cornball repartee and preternaturally earnest family ethos were nice bonuses.) The Fate of the Furious certainly does not hold back on the go-for-broke extremes, but nothing really reaches any gobsmacking heights. There are too many explosions – fire gets in the way of the awe of flying through the air. At least Ludacris and Tyrese are still on point with whatever they’re nattering on about. They’re practically speaking a new dialect at this point.
I give The Fate of the Furious 6.5 Approvals From the Baby out of 10 Redirected Explosions.
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