This Is a Movie Review: The Fate of the Furious

April 16, 2017

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The last three entries in the Fast & Furious series brought me fully on board the “quarter mile at a time” lifestyle, thanks to their brazenly unrealistic stunts leaving me totally breathless. (The cornball repartee and preternaturally earnest family ethos were nice bonuses.) The Fate of the Furious certainly does not hold back on the go-for-broke extremes, but nothing really reaches any gobsmacking heights. There are too many explosions – fire gets in the way of the awe of flying through the air. At least Ludacris and Tyrese are still on point with whatever they’re nattering on about. They’re practically speaking a new dialect at this point.

I give The Fate of the Furious 6.5 Approvals From the Baby out of 10 Redirected Explosions.

This Is a Movie Review Review: Beauty and the Beast (2017)

April 15, 2017

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What up with Disney ransacking its vault to remake its own animated hits into (mostly[-ish]) live-action versions? This is not an inherently bad idea. These are stories that have been told over and over (often in fairy tale form) and will continue to be told over and over, so why not spruce them up with some 21st Century Pizzazz?

What does new-flavor Beauty and the Beast offer over the 1991 toon? Belle’s an inventor, but that does not factor in too much. There is an “exclusively gay moment” for Le Fou, but it is so inconsequential that you might need a study guide to locate it (I certainly did). So ultimately, this is about some legends of acting and singing giving it a whirl. Nothing earth-shattering, but we’re in good hands.

I give Beauty and the Beast 3 Rose Petals out of 5 Snowy Days in June.

This Is a Movie Review: The Lost City of Z

April 11, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Sienna Miller, Robert Pattinson, Tom Holland

Director: James Gray

Running Time: 140 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Bow and Arrow Violence, and Occasional Gunfire

Release Date: April 14, 2017 (Limited)

The Lost City of Z tells the story of a liberal-minded man’s dilemma. During Percival Fawcett’s (Charlie Hunnam) early 20th century explorations to South America, he becomes convinced of the existence of a mythical city deep within the jungles of the Amazon. His patrons back in England scoff at the idea, both because it is unrealistic but also because they are European white men who believe that their way of doing civilization is the only right way. Fawcett positions himself as an open-minded paragon who recognizes that the native peoples are not savages but in fact have plenty of value to offer the rest of the world. This is not posture. He genuinely believes all that he says – and Hunnam imbues every declaration with the urgency of the end of days – but idealizing a foreign culture introduces its own problems.

Fawcett does not fetishize the Amazonian peoples, but his single-mindedness can be blinding. The film’s structure is partly like that of a Möbius strip, with the end of each South American expedition only serving as a prologue to the next one. Supplies are depleted and conflicts break out within his crew, and then re-stocking and reconciling takes years. And you feel that passage of time, but Fawcett simply must get back. The strain is borne most acutely by his family, especially his wife Nina (Sienna Miller), who pleads to join one of the expeditions. The Fawcetts pride themselves on their equality, but here Percival marks a limit: they are intellectual, but not physical, equals.

Ultimately, this film is a detailed and heavy examination of the dangers of obsession. It turns out (spoiler alert) that Fawcett’s instincts are right, but that vindication is saved for an epilogue. The climax involves Fawcett and his eldest son (Tom Holland) entering the most nightmarish of the expeditions. For the most part, The Lost City of Z avoids mysticism in favor of realism. The cinematography generally focuses on weary faces instead of natural wonders. Thus, this journey is not transcendent until it starts becoming hellish.

The Lost City of Z is Recommended If You Like: Lawrence of Arabia, Apocalypse Now, Impassioned Speeches to Fusty Government Types

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Men Overboard

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of April 22, 2017

April 11, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
6. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
8. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
9. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
10. Gorillaz ft. Popcaan – “Saturnz Barz”
11. Lord Huron – “The Night We Met”
12. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
13. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
14. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
15. Gorillaz ft. D.R.A.M. – “Andromeda”
16. Bleachers – “Don’t Take the Money”
17. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
18. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
19. alt-J – “In Cold Blood”
20. Papa Roach – “Help”
21. Gorillaz ft. Vince Staples – “Ascension”
22. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
23. blink-182 – “Misery”
24. The Lumineers – “Angela”
25. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Human
2. Way Down We Go
3. Heavydirtysoul
4. Feel It Still
5. In Cold Blood
6. Love is Mystical
7. Andromeda
8. Love
9. Saturnz Barz

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of April 22, 2017

April 11, 2017

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 20, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Ed Sheeran – “Shape of You”
2. Kendrick Lamar – “Humble.”
3. Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”
4. KYLE ft. Lil Yachty – “iSpy”
5. The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This”
6. Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Back Road”
7. Daft Punk – “I Feel It Coming”
8. Kodak Black – “Tunnel Vision”
9. The Chainsmokers – “Paris”
10. Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie – “Rockabye”
11. Future – “Mask Off”
12. Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert – “Bad and Boujee”
13. Kygo x Selena Gomez – “It Aint’ Me”
14. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”
15. Zayn and Taylor Swift – “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”
16. Lil Uzi Vert – “XO TOUR Llif3”
17. James Arthur – “Say You Won’t Let Go”
18. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
19. Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm”
20. Big Sean – “Bounce Back”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Chained to the Rhythm
2. Tunnel Vision
3. I Feel It Coming
4. Love on the Brain
5. Stay
6. Humble.
7. Rockabye
8. Bad and Boujee

SNL Review April 8, 2017: Louis CK/The Chainsmokers

April 9, 2017

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in April 2017.

Love It

Sectional Couches – This is what classic sketches are made of. What at first appears to be a simple infomercial parody morphs into so much more as an intricate, multilayered story emerges: elephants gathered for an important reason, Barb from Racine, the fact that the couches are all made on Earth, and then that twist – brava!

At the Soda Shoppe, Louis C.K. plays a fascinatingly creepy soda jerk, and Cecily Strong plays a satisfyingly sneaky budding dominatrix…Cecilia Giminez is back to praise the Cristiano Ronaldo bust, most notably because he looks like he has a fish in his mouth…The ending is a bit on the nose, but Ernie’s Birthday demonstrates that Louis C.K. and Bobby Moynihan are adept at making the best out of an uncomfortable situation…The moral of the Tenement Museum sketch: when in doubt, go full Borat.

More

What Won TV? – April 2-April 8, 2017

April 9, 2017

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

Sunday –  Feud: Bette and Joan
Monday – Slam dunking the NCAA Championship on home
Tuesday – New Girl (Please give them the green light for Season 7.)
Wednesday – Archer
Thursday – Riverdale
Friday – RuPaul’s Drag Race
Saturday – So long as Sectional Couches can breathe or eyes can see: Saturday Night Live

This Is a Movie Review: Going in Style

April 7, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin

Director: Zach Braff

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: April 7, 2017

Release Date: PG-13 for Shooting Blanks in One Way and Not Shooting Blanks in Another

There is a cottage industry of our finest living octogenarian thespians behaving badly, whether living it up in Vegas or spending spring break with their grandkids fishing for tail. Going in Style at first glance appears the next entry in this genre, what with its premise of retirees making their last big mark by pulling off a bank robbery. As these old coots throw on their Rat Pack masks, are we supposed to be thinking, “Somebody’s watched Point Break one too many times”? Not exactly. This is not a tale of wish fulfillment debauchery. Instead, Going in Style takes its opening cue from much more Oscar-friendly territory (as well as the 1979 original of the same name starring George Burns, Art Carney, and Lee Strasberg).

Longtime friends and factory co-workers Joe (Michael Caine), Willie (Morgan Freeman), and Al (Alan Arkin) are facing a variety of ills: foreclosure for Joe, kidney failure for Willie, and disappearing pensions for all three. They do not vocalize a sense of economic betrayal from their country, but the subtext is clear. This is the same message as last year’s neo-Western Hell or High Water: when even the local banks are strictly aligned with the global monied class, robbery is all that those left behind can turn to. Going in Style mostly avoids that bleakness, though not at first. The first 15 minutes or so are all about underscoring the piling up of debt and very real threat of homelessness for decent folks who have put in decades of honest employment.

But with the codgers at its center, a depressing consistency would be truly beyond the pale. The dialogue acknowledges that safety net, as these intrepid thieves figure that even if they do get caught, they will at least be guaranteed a bed, three meals a day, and better health care than they are used to. There is a deep well of fantastic realism, or realistic fantasy, as it were, at play. We know Joe, Willie, and Al will get away with it, and it is essentially a victimless crime. Their temptation into a solution of crime is presented less as a trip to the dark side and more as open-mindedness and ingenuity. But surely the loss of millions cannot be so easily brushed off.

It is probably not necessary to take too harsh a moral stance against Going in Style, as I imagine that its target audience understands that stealing is wrong and heists are not so easily pulled off in real life. But it would be preferable if the film had a more clearly discernible message. Is it advocating for getting what you’re owed by any means necessary, becoming a Robin Hood of sorts, or actually just prescribing robbery in extreme circumstances? As it stands, it is a whimsical wisp propelled along by plenty of capable people that tiptoes around some explosive territory.

Going in Style is Recommended If You Like: Hell or High Water but thought it was missing a dance scene set to “Single Ladies”

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 “Young Men”

This Is a Movie Review: Their Finest

April 5, 2017

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This review was originally published on News Cult in April 2017.

Starring: Gemma Arterton, Sam Claflin, Bill Nighy, Jack Huston

Director: Lone Scherfig

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R Because the Ratings Board is Prudish About a Little B(r)it of Sex

Release Date: April 7, 2017 (Limited)

A primary national trait of Great Britain is a solidly backwards chronological orientation. I do not mean that as a criticism, at least not completely. Sure, an obsession with the glory of the past can be problematic, but the comfort that Britons have with bygone eras has its uses. For example, the roster of reliable British actors populating the cast of the World War II-era film Their Finest makes for a cinematic effort rousingly (instead of hopelessly) old-fashioned. Gemma Arterton has deserved a breakthrough role, and while Their Finest does not break any molds (by design), it does confirm that she is a star.

Arterton is Catrin Cole, hired by the British ministry as a scriptwriter to lend that essential feminine voice to their propaganda films. This could be a formula for taking down sexism, and there are some efforts in that direction, but Their Finest’s ultimate attitude is that women will always suffer indignities, so they might as well hope that they at least like the people end up working with. Because if that works out, we can get a nice love story out of it. And indeed, there is a heartwarming one here: Catrin’s husband (Jack Huston) is classically disapproving, while her partner and lead scriptwriter (Sam Claflin) is such an obvious match. The only conflict between them is just being a little too blunt with their feelings.

As Catrin sorts out her feelings, she works alongside a bunch of irrepressible characters as they put together a masterpiece about the Dunkirk rescue. They all have a spot of fun, and a spot of tea (metaphorically). There is Bill Nighy as the former big star whose ego is still huge, but not so huge that he cannot also be a fine mentor. Jeremy Irons is the Secretary of War, because the governmental figure is meant to convey confidence and gravitas. And Jake Lacy is the token awkward goofball, because only the American is allowed to make old-fashioned look silly. Their Finest is not the greatest of most of its creators, but it might just be their finest.

Their Finest is Recommended If You Like: Allied, Casablanca, Valkyrie

Grade: 3 out of 5 Old-Timey Typewriters

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of April 15, 2017

April 4, 2017

jmunney Billboard Charts, Billboard Hot Rock Songs, Music , , , Leave a comment

Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality. I used to rank all 25, now I just rank the cream of the crop.

Original Version
1. Imagine Dragons – “Believer”
2. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
3. Linkin Park ft. Kiiara – “Heavy”
4. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
5. Gorillaz ft. Popcaan – “Saturnz Barz”
6. Rag’n’Bone Man – “Human”
7. Kaleo – “Way Down We Go”
8. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
9. Gorillaz ft. D.R.A.M. – “Andromeda”
10. twenty one pilots – “Heavydirtysoul”
11. Gorillaz ft. Vince Staples – “Ascension”
12. The Revivalists – “Wish I Knew You”
13. Gorillaz ft. Jehnny Beth – “We Got the Power”
14. Lana Del Rey – “Love”
15. NEEDTOBREATHE – “Testify”
16. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still”
17. Papa Roach – “Help”
18. Ocean Park Standoff – “Good News”
19. MISSIO – “Middle Fingers”
20. Cold War Kids – “Love is Mystical”
21. The Lumineers – “Angela”
22. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”
23. Chuck Berry – “Johnny B. Goode”
24. Shinedown – “How Did You Love”
25. Kaleo – “All the Pretty Girls”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Johnny B. Goode
2. Human
3. Way Down We Go
4. Heavydirtysoul
5. Feel It Still
6. Andromeda
7. Love is Mystical
8. Love
9. Saturnz Barz

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