Why Can’t ‘Rogue One’ Be a Half Hour Shorter?

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CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot

This article was originally posted on News Cult in December 2016.

SPOILER WARNING – This article discusses major plot points from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

After seeing The Force Awakens, my initial feeling was one of gratitude that a new Star Wars movie could actually be good. After seeing Rogue One, my initial feeling was a desire to trim the fat. I generally do not get too hung up on the “right” running time for a movie. Sure, I’ll have an opinion about pacing, but there are usually more significant issues to discuss. And in this case, the running time is not my hangup so much as it is the hangup of the whole blockbuster template.

The best part of Rogue One is the last ten minutes, when the Rebels manage to transmit the Death Star plans expressly to Princess Leia (thus leading directly into A New Hope). The pace of this sequence is electric, which is as it should be in a heist film, which is indeed what Rogue One is. The driving purpose of such a film is a plot with a very specific purpose. The most obvious, and usually most effective, way for the audience to feel the urgency essential to this genre is by compressing the runtime.

So what could be lost in a hypothetical shorter Rogue One? The character work is uniformly unimpressive. Plenty of time is spent examining whether or not Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) is a true rebel and if the others are willing to accept her into the fold. But that conflict is never all that interesting, nor does it especially matter. This story is not a hero’s journey, like the rest of the Star Wars saga.

But perhaps there are some viewers who appreciate the time given to Jyn’s arc, or all the time spent with Saw Gerrera (Forest Whitaker) that does not really affect the ultimate direction of the plot. (I can certainly understand the latter, thanks to Whitaker’s off-kilter performance.) It is not an absolute requirement that heist flicks must be on the short end of feature running times. If the character work of Rogue One were more impressive, I could very well be singing a different tune.

My real issue, though, is the implicitly accepted, rarely examined convention that big-budget action blockbusters must hit that sweet spot between 110 and 140 minutes. That standard holds true across all the numbered Star Wars episodes as well as Rogue One, and nobody has ever really stopped to ask, “Why?” One might suggest the old saw of “getting your money’s worth,” but a film’s value decreases when it has 30 minutes of padding.

Rogue One is just one example. My larger point is that major franchise films should be more adventurous. Star Wars does appear to be interested in such variability. The one-off nature of this film and the upcoming Han Solo prequel are evidence of that. As for other franchises, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has done an admirable job of exploring various genres within its own overarching template. But diversity of running time has hitherto been neglected in this approach towards diverse filmmaking. And I am not just arguing for kinetic short blasts. Three-hour plus, Godfather-esque generational sagas are also welcome!

The point is, this is not TV. There is no categorical need to fit within a strict temporal box. In a series that can travel long distances at the speed of light, I see plenty of yet explored possibilities.

SNL Review December 17, 2016: Casey Affleck/Chance the Rapper

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SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- "Casey Affleck" Episode 1714 -- Pictured: Kate McKinnon as Hillary Clinton during the "Hillary Actually" sketch on December 17, 2016 -- (Photo by: Becky Vu/NBC)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “Casey Affleck” Episode 1714 — Pictured: Kate McKinnon as Hillary Clinton during the “Hillary Actually” sketch on December 17, 2016 — (Photo by: Becky Vu/NBC)

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

News Cult Entertainment Editor Jeffrey Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then organizes the sketches into the following categories: “Love It” (potentially Best of the Season-worthy), “Keep It” (perfectly adequate), or “Leave It” (in need of a rewrite, to say the least). Then he concludes with assessments of the host and musical guest.

Love It

Hillary Actually – I generally cut SNL slack for not having the sharpest political satire around, but I do encourage more adventurous ideas, and this is exactly what I am talking about. Using a movie parody to make sense of the current twist in the election is what SNL is uniquely equipped to do. Hillary wooing an elector in the style of Love Actually’s cue cards scene may be over-the-top, but it rings through and through with essential truth.

I love the hacky comedy in the nativity play covered by New York Now and wish it had lasted even longer and gotten even more ridiculous…At Frankie’s Ale House, it is not just the guys looking to score who are deploying faux shyness: it’s also the bouncer, the guy calling 911, the EMT, and even God.

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What Won TV? – December 11-December 17, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

rectify-series-finale

Sunday – Son of Zorn
Monday – People of Earth
Tuesday – New Girl
Wednesday – Farewell, Rectify.
Thursday – Jeopardy!
Friday – Jeopardy!
Saturday – I’m sorry to say this, this is really embarrassing, but SNL with Casey Affleck was pretty good.

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of December 24, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
7. The xx – “On Hold”
8. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
9. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
10. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
11. OK Go – “The One Moment”
12. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
13. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
14. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
15. Florence + the Machine – “Stand by Me”
16. The Head and the Heart – “All We Ever Knew”
17. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
18. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
19. Imagine Dragons – “Levitate”
20. Rolling Stones – “Ride ‘Em on Down”
21. Bastille – “Good Grief”
22. Brendan Fletcher – “Angel”
23. The Lumineers – “Sleep on the Floor”
24. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
25. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. My Name is Human
2. Unsteady
3. Stand by Me
4. On Hold
5. Ride
6. Ride ‘Em on Down
7. Good Grief
8. The One Moment
9. Ophelia
10. Heathens
11. Waste a Moment
12. Cleopatra
13. Take It All Back
14. Hymn for the Weekend
15. I Apologize
16. Levitate
17. All We Ever Knew
18. Still Breathing
19. HandClap
20. Sleep on the Floor
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Chain Breaker
25. Angel

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of December 24, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
2. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
3. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
4. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
5. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
6. Zay Hilfilgerrr and Zayion McCall – “Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)”
7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
8. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
9. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
10. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
11. Drake – “Fake Love”
12. D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – “Broccoli”
13. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
14. Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd – “Starving”
15. Aminé – “Caroline”
16. gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien – “i hate u, i love u”
17. Mariah Carey – “All I Want for Christmas is You”
18. Sia ft. Kendrick Lamar – “The Greatest”
19. Shawn Mendes – “Treat You Better”
20. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. The Greatest
2. Starboy
3. Scars to Your Beautiful
4. Black Beatles
5. Side to Side
6. Broccoli
7. Love on the Brain
8. Closer
9. 24K Magic
10. Heathens
11. Starving
12. All I Want for Christmas is You
13. i hate u, i love u
14. Bad Things
15. Let Me Love You
16. Caroline
17. Fake Love
18. Don’t Wanna Know
19. Treat You Better
20. Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)

Son of Zorn 1.9 Review: “The War on Grafelnik”

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SON OF ZORN:  L-R:  Johnny Pemberton, Zorn (voiced by Jason Sudeikis), Cheryl Hines and Tim Meadows in the "Happy Grafelnik" episode of SON OF ZORN airing Sunday, Dec. 11 (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  ©2016 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  FOX

“Any scooper with tuna on it is a good scooper.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-son-of-zorn-the-war-on-grafelnik/

The Simpsons 28.10 Review: “The Nightmare After Krustmas”

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Krusty tries to impress his daughter as they spend Christmas with the Simpsons. Meanwhile, Reverend Lovejoy seeks converts after church attendance plummets, and Maggie is haunted by a spooky Christmas toy in the all-new “The Nightmare After Krustmas” episode of THE SIMPSONS airing Sunday, Dec. 11 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX. THE SIMPSONS ™ and © 2016 TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. CR: FOX.

“Warning: Contains treasonous statements.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-the-nightmare-after-krustmas/

What Won TV? – December 4-December 10, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

bob_odenkirk_drunk_history

Sunday – Westworld (But we can just take a second to recognize how insane The Affair is being?)
Monday – People of Earth
Tuesday – Bob Odenkirk on Drunk History
Wednesday – Rectify
Thursday – Jeopardy!
Friday – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Honorable Mention: The family fantasy scene from Joe Pera Helps You Find the Perfect Christmas Tree)
Saturday – Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

SNL Review December 10, 2016: John Cena/Maren Morris

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SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- "John Cena" Episode 1713 -- Pictured: Host John Cena on December 6, 2016 -- (Photo by: Rosalind O'Connor/NBC)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “John Cena” Episode 1713 — Pictured: Host John Cena on December 6, 2016 — (Photo by: Rosalind O’Connor/NBC)

This review was originally posted on News Cult in December 2016.

Love It

Hook a Hunk – The hook of “Hook a Hunk” is clear from a mile away. As soon as all the contestants on this dating show parody are introduced, and not one of them is played by John Cena, it follows that the hunkiest of hunks in the building must be playing the host and Cecily Strong’s contestant must fall for him in favor of any of the contestants. And yet, “Hook a Hunk” succeeds despite its obviousness, as Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney carve out their own little scene amidst the disappointment, because love wins.

Aidy Bryant clings to the ledge while holding on to the Office Christmas Tree, and some terrifying camera angles ramp up the tension necessary to build to the catharsis that is so important in comedy.

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This Is a Movie Review: Moana

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moana_ocean_parting

Moana is a rather small-scale story, at least geographically. The title character (Auli’i Cravalho, tenacious as one can be in voice acting), a Polynesian chief’s daughter, must sail across a reef and procure a MacGuffin to save her people. Along the way, she must defy her overprotective father and forge an Unlikely Friendship with the self-interested demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson, because of course). We never doubt that Moana will succeed, because she is too strong-willed to fail, and also, the ocean has her back. Which is my favorite song? Why, “Shiny,” as sung by Jemaine Clement, of course.

I give Moana 7 Pounamus out of 10 Te Fiti’s.

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