This Is a Movie Review: Moonlight

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What sticks with me from Moonlight? Mostly, it is the small, intimate moments: Juan (Mahershala Ali) holding Little (Alex Hibbert) in the water – an image that has already become iconic. Teresa (Janelle Monáe) setting the table and doing all the talking for her and Chiron (Ashton Sanders). Black (Trevante Rhodes) admitting to Kevin (André Holland) that he’s the only man who’s ever touched him. And I can’t go this whole review without singling out Naomie Harris (miles away from Moneypenny) for giving her all as Chiron’s mom Paula. Moonlight deserves plenty of credit for allowing black and gay voices to be heard, but more than that, the storytelling is right on as well.

I give Moonlight 18 Gold Grills out of 20 Evasive Facial Expressions.

This Is a Movie Review: Hacksaw Ridge

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I don’t like war movies. I appreciate when they, like Hacksaw Ridge, are especially explicit about the bodily destruction, but then it just underscores how much war has existed and how much it continues to exist. It is somewhat heartening to see a conscientious objector like Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield) focused on rescuing the rest of his platoon instead of killing, but his story just makes me wish he could be saving people from natural disasters instead and that the war had never happened in the first place. I’m not naively suggesting that war will just magically end if we want it to. What I’m getting at is: it is paradoxical to me to attempt to mentally process a well-made war film.

I give everyone involved making Hacksaw Ridge my appreciation but hope that it could have been for something else.

Billboard Hot Rock Songs – Week of December 17, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. The xx – “On Hold”
9. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
10. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
11. OK Go – “The One Moment”
12. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
13. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
14. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
15. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
16. Bastille – “Good Grief”
17. The Head and the Heart – “All We Ever Knew”
18. The Lumineers – “Sleep on the Floor”
19. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
20. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”
21. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
22. twenty one pilots – “Cancer”
23. Metallica – “Atlas, Rise!”
24. Grouplove – “Welcome to Your Life”
25. Empire of the Sun – “High and Low”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. Welcome to Your Life
2. My Name is Human
3. Unsteady
4. High and Low
5. On Hold
6. Ride
7. The One Moment
8. Good Grief
9. Atlas, Rise!
10. Ophelia
11. Heathens
12. Waste a Moment
13. Cleopatra
14. Take It All Back
15. Cancer
16. Hymn for the Weekend
17. I Apologize
18. Sleep on the Floor
19. All We Ever Knew
20. Still Breathing
21. HandClap
22. She’s Out of Her Mind
23. Love on the Weekend
24. Sucker for Pain
25. Chain Breaker

Billboard Hot 20 – Week of December 17, 2016

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Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.

Original Version
1. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
2. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
3. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
4. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
5. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
6. Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall – “Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)”
7. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
8. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
9. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
10. D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – “Broccoli”
11. Drake – “Fake Love”
12. Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd – “Starving”
13. gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien – “i hate u, i love u”
14. Aminé – “Caroline”
15. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
16. The Weeknd – “Party Monster”
17. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
18. Sia ft. Kendrick Lamar – “The Greatest”
19. Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber and MØ – “Cold Water”
20. Shawn Mendes – “Treat You Better”

Jmunney’s Revision
1. The Greatest
2. Starboy
3. Scars to Your Beautiful
4. Black Beatles
5. Side to Side
6. Cold Water
7. Broccoli
8. Closer
9. Party Monster
10. 24K Magic
11. i hate u, i love u
12. Starving
13. Heathens
14. Bad Things
15. Let Me Love You
16. Caroline
17. Fake Love
18. Don’t Wanna Know
19. Treat You Better
20. Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)

This Is a Movie Review: La La Land

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This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling

Director: Damien Chazelle

Running Time: 128 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Doing Once That Thing You Can Get Away With in a PG-13 Movie If You Only Do It Once

Release Date: December 9, 2016 (Limited)

Is it the sign of a successful musical if it leaves you humming one of its tunes as you walk out of the theater? It certainly helps if it has a head start by featuring a certain set of notes so prominently in its trailer and if that phrase is meant to be whistled so steady and easy. But to directly answer the question: yes, a musical is successful if it leaves you humming. All the other trappings – story, acting, set design, pretty colors, whatever – may have their purpose, but who cares, if that one defining feature does not do its job? So what’s the verdict on La La Land? It’s a wistful, eternally romantic tingle that has imprinted on me, perhaps forever.

This may very well be that same old story of showbiz doing showbiz: struggling actress Mia (Emma Stone) toils at auditions and coffee shops, sparks fly when she meets jazz pianist Seb (Ryan Gosling) – the type who is so single-mindedly focused on keeping the old school alive, and the feelings may are powerful enough to literally lift them into the air. This is not tiresome, because there are still, and probably always will be, so many Mia’s and Seb’s making their way in the real La La Land. The film is deeply inspired by tradition, but it is not beholden to it. It is wide-eyed enough for the romance to be worth investing in, but it is clear-eyed enough to know that practicality, honesty, and confidence are essential for making those romantic dreams come true.

For most of its running time, La La Land is perfectly diverting, but not much more. But then it becomes revolutionary at the end when it redefines its entire story, and what is possible in this style of storytelling. I would not dare to spoil this turn, as its impact hit me a great deal via its surprise. But let me just say that it has to do with its organization of the four seasons as chapters. Winter and henceforth are not pointed out for the sake of a convenient format, but to set you up for a treat that only cinema can inflict.

La La Land is Recommended If You Like: Any Musical, as a Rule

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Leg Raises

Son of Zorn 1.8 Review: “Return of the Drinking Buddy”

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SON OF ZORN:  L-R:  Headbutt Girl (voiced by guest star Ashley Padilla, Zorn (voiced by Jason Sudeikis) and Hedbutt Man (voiced by guest star Rob Riggle) in the "Return of the Drinking Buddy" episode of SON OF ZORN airing Sunday, Dec. 4 (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  ©2016 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  FOX

“Yes, I remember committing elf-cide.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-son-of-zorn-return-of-the-drinking-buddy/

The Simpsons 28.9 Review: “The Last Traction Hero”

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THE SIMPSONS: A workplace accident leaves Homer in a cast, and in a position to sue Mr. Burns in the all-new “The Last Traction Hero” episode of THE SIMPSONS airing Sunday, Dec. 4 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX. THE SIMPSONS ™ and © 2016 TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. CR: FOX

“That’s like telling Three-Finger Brown he can’t play for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops.” http://www.bubbleblabber.com/review-the-simpsons-the-last-traction-hero/

What Won TV? – November 27-December 3, 2016

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In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.

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Sunday – Westworld
Monday – Jane the Virgin
Tuesday – Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Wednesday – Arrow
Thursday – Legends of Tomorrow, Successful Crossovers of Today
Friday – Comedy Bang! Bang! says Comedy Bye! Bye!
Saturday – SNL, mostly for those Woodbridge HS kids

SNL Review December 3, 2016: Emma Stone/Shawn Mendes

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SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- "Emma Stone" Episode 1712 -- Pictured: (l-r) Beck Bennett, Mikey Day, Kate McKinnon, Emma Stone, Kyle Mooney, and Aidy Bryant during the "High School Theater Show" sketch on December 3, 2016 -- (Photo by: Will Heath/NBC)

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “Emma Stone” Episode 1712 — Pictured: (l-r) Beck Bennett, Mikey Day, Kate McKinnon, Emma Stone, Kyle Mooney, and Aidy Bryant during the “High School Theater Show” sketch on December 3, 2016 — (Photo by: Will Heath/NBC)

This review was originally posted on News Cult in December 2016.

Love It

Woodbridge High School Student Theater Showcase – I love the maddeningly self-righteous Woodbridge crew, but with each new edition, I fear their appearances have run their course. But then I remember what is going on in the world, and I realize how much we need them. Where else are we going to get a joke about a modern Holocaust that is so nonchalant and so cutting? Or a Black Lives Matter joke that is so loopy? And you know this is the only we can hear Aidy Bryant say, “Yep. You guessed it. I have AIDS.”

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This Is a Movie Review: Nocturnal Animals

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The story-within-the-story in Nocturnal Animals – Jake Gyllenhaal teams up with Det. Michael Shannon to track down the rapist-killers of his wife and daughter in the Texas desert – is a satisfying pulp yarn on its own merits. But it exists as it does within a frame device so that we have the added pleasure of Amy Adams (Jake Gyllenhaal the author’s ex-wife) looking distraught as she reads the story that she believes she inspired, and so that director Tom Ford can play around with the editing and sound design as he cuts back and forth between reality and fiction in a way that gets under our skin and sticks in our craws. Also, there is a scene in the middle with Jena Malone that suddenly switches genres that will have you indelibly jumping out of your seat. That is certainly how my entire theater reacted.

I give Nocturnal Animals 9 Lovingly Framed Butts out of 10 Wails of Anguish.

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