Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
7. The xx – “On Hold”
8. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
9. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
10. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
11. OK Go – “The One Moment”
12. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
13. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
14. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
15. Florence + the Machine – “Stand by Me”
16. The Head and the Heart – “All We Ever Knew”
17. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
18. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
19. Imagine Dragons – “Levitate”
20. Rolling Stones – “Ride ‘Em on Down”
21. Bastille – “Good Grief”
22. Brendan Fletcher – “Angel”
23. The Lumineers – “Sleep on the Floor”
24. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
25. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. My Name is Human
2. Unsteady
3. Stand by Me
4. On Hold
5. Ride
6. Ride ‘Em on Down
7. Good Grief
8. The One Moment
9. Ophelia
10. Heathens
11. Waste a Moment
12. Cleopatra
13. Take It All Back
14. Hymn for the Weekend
15. I Apologize
16. Levitate
17. All We Ever Knew
18. Still Breathing
19. HandClap
20. Sleep on the Floor
21. She’s Out of Her Mind
22. Love on the Weekend
23. Sucker for Pain
24. Chain Breaker
25. Angel
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot 100, and then I rearrange the top 20 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane – “Black Beatles”
2. The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk – “Starboy”
3. The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey – “Closer”
4. Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”
5. Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj – “Side to Side”
6. Zay Hilfilgerrr and Zayion McCall – “Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)”
7. Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Don’t Wanna Know”
8. DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber – “Let Me Love You”
9. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
10. Machine Gun Kelly x Camila Cabello – “Bad Things”
11. Drake – “Fake Love”
12. D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty – “Broccoli”
13. Alessia Cara – “Scars to Your Beautiful”
14. Hailee Steinfeld & Grey ft. Zedd – “Starving”
15. Aminé – “Caroline”
16. gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien – “i hate u, i love u”
17. Mariah Carey – “All I Want for Christmas is You”
18. Sia ft. Kendrick Lamar – “The Greatest”
19. Shawn Mendes – “Treat You Better”
20. Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. The Greatest
2. Starboy
3. Scars to Your Beautiful
4. Black Beatles
5. Side to Side
6. Broccoli
7. Love on the Brain
8. Closer
9. 24K Magic
10. Heathens
11. Starving
12. All I Want for Christmas is You
13. i hate u, i love u
14. Bad Things
15. Let Me Love You
16. Caroline
17. Fake Love
18. Don’t Wanna Know
19. Treat You Better
20. Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)
In this feature, I look back at each day of the past week and determine what shows “won TV” for the night. That is, I consider every episode of television I watched that aired on a particular day and declare which was the best.
Sunday – Westworld (But we can just take a second to recognize how insane The Affair is being?)
Monday – People of Earth
Tuesday – Bob Odenkirk on Drunk History
Wednesday – Rectify
Thursday – Jeopardy!
Friday – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Honorable Mention: The family fantasy scene from Joe Pera Helps You Find the Perfect Christmas Tree)
Saturday – Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE — “John Cena” Episode 1713 — Pictured: Host John Cena on December 6, 2016 — (Photo by: Rosalind O’Connor/NBC)
This review was originally posted on News Cult in December 2016.
Love It
Hook a Hunk – The hook of “Hook a Hunk” is clear from a mile away. As soon as all the contestants on this dating show parody are introduced, and not one of them is played by John Cena, it follows that the hunkiest of hunks in the building must be playing the host and Cecily Strong’s contestant must fall for him in favor of any of the contestants. And yet, “Hook a Hunk” succeeds despite its obviousness, as Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney carve out their own little scene amidst the disappointment, because love wins.
Aidy Bryant clings to the ledge while holding on to the Office Christmas Tree, and some terrifying camera angles ramp up the tension necessary to build to the catharsis that is so important in comedy.
Moana is a rather small-scale story, at least geographically. The title character (Auli’i Cravalho, tenacious as one can be in voice acting), a Polynesian chief’s daughter, must sail across a reef and procure a MacGuffin to save her people. Along the way, she must defy her overprotective father and forge an Unlikely Friendship with the self-interested demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson, because of course). We never doubt that Moana will succeed, because she is too strong-willed to fail, and also, the ocean has her back. Which is my favorite song? Why, “Shiny,” as sung by Jemaine Clement, of course.
What sticks with me from Moonlight? Mostly, it is the small, intimate moments: Juan (Mahershala Ali) holding Little (Alex Hibbert) in the water – an image that has already become iconic. Teresa (Janelle Monáe) setting the table and doing all the talking for her and Chiron (Ashton Sanders). Black (Trevante Rhodes) admitting to Kevin (André Holland) that he’s the only man who’s ever touched him. And I can’t go this whole review without singling out Naomie Harris (miles away from Moneypenny) for giving her all as Chiron’s mom Paula. Moonlight deserves plenty of credit for allowing black and gay voices to be heard, but more than that, the storytelling is right on as well.
I give Moonlight18 Gold Grills out of 20 Evasive Facial Expressions.
I don’t like war movies. I appreciate when they, like Hacksaw Ridge, are especially explicit about the bodily destruction, but then it just underscores how much war has existed and how much it continues to exist. It is somewhat heartening to see a conscientious objector like Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield) focused on rescuing the rest of his platoon instead of killing, but his story just makes me wish he could be saving people from natural disasters instead and that the war had never happened in the first place. I’m not naively suggesting that war will just magically end if we want it to. What I’m getting at is: it is paradoxical to me to attempt to mentally process a well-made war film.
I give everyone involved making Hacksaw Ridgemy appreciation but hope that it could have been for something else.
Each week, I check out the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart, and then I rearrange the top 25 based on my estimation of their quality.
Original Version
1. twenty one pilots – “Heathens”
2. X Ambassadors – “Unsteady”
3. twenty one pilots – “Ride”
4. Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, & Imagine Dragons with Logic, Ty Dolla $ign ft. X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”
5. Fitz and the Tantrums – “HandClap”
6. Coldplay – “Hymn for the Weekend”
7. The Lumineers – “Ophelia”
8. The xx – “On Hold”
9. John Mayer – “Love on the Weekend”
10. Kings of Leon – “Waste a Moment”
11. OK Go – “The One Moment”
12. Highly Suspect – “My Name is Human”
13. The Lumineers – “Cleopatra”
14. Judah & the Lion – “Take It All Back”
15. Zach Williams – “Chain Breaker”
16. Bastille – “Good Grief”
17. The Head and the Heart – “All We Ever Knew”
18. The Lumineers – “Sleep on the Floor”
19. Green Day – “Still Breathing”
20. Five Finger Death Punch – “I Apologize”
21. blink-182 – “She’s Out of Her Mind”
22. twenty one pilots – “Cancer”
23. Metallica – “Atlas, Rise!”
24. Grouplove – “Welcome to Your Life”
25. Empire of the Sun – “High and Low”
Jmunney’s Revision
1. Welcome to Your Life
2. My Name is Human
3. Unsteady
4. High and Low
5. On Hold
6. Ride
7. The One Moment
8. Good Grief
9. Atlas, Rise!
10. Ophelia
11. Heathens
12. Waste a Moment
13. Cleopatra
14. Take It All Back
15. Cancer
16. Hymn for the Weekend
17. I Apologize
18. Sleep on the Floor
19. All We Ever Knew
20. Still Breathing
21. HandClap
22. She’s Out of Her Mind
23. Love on the Weekend
24. Sucker for Pain
25. Chain Breaker
