‘The Wild Robot’ Asks if a Machine Can Access Its Parental Instinct for a Goose

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Does she have the programming to be a mother? Let’s find out! (CREDIT: DreamWorks)

Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Pedro Pascal, Kit Connor, Catherine O’Hara, Bill Nighy, Stephanie Hsu, Mark Hamill, Matt Berry, Ving Rhames

Director: Chris Sanders

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: PG for Fiery Action and Mild Animal Mortality

Release Date: September 27, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A service robot washes ashore on an island dense with all sorts of animal residents. But this metal creature is supposed to serve humans! But not to worry, as ROZZUM Unit 7134, aka Roz (Lupita Nyong’o) can learn new languages with no trouble at all, so soon enough she’s able to communicate with all the local wildlife in their native tongues. That certainly comes in handy, because in her tireless efforts to offer assistance, she accidentally destroys a goose nest, save for one egg. And when it hatches, the little gosling (voiced by Boone Storme as a baby and Kit Connor when he grows up) imprints on Roz as if she’s his mother. She calls him Brightbill, and she must then prepare him for the upcoming winter migration, which may just require some emotional bonding that isn’t exactly in her programming, though a sojourn in the wilderness might just change that.

What Made an Impression?: What is Love?: Early in The Wild Robot, Roz matter-of-factly admits, “I do not have the programming to be a mother.” Plenty of human mothers have said some variation on this statement, but their kids turned out okay. And maybe non-human animal mothers have also said this in their own animal languages. An opossum voiced by Catherine O’Hara with a bunch of babies hanging onto her fur certainly admits as much to Roz. But are emotions and genuine affection only the domain of the living? Certainly not on the big screen, as Roz is just the latest in a long line of fictional synthetic creatures to transcend their programming in the name of love. But really, she is just following her prime directive of dedicated service to its most logical and satisfying conclusion.
Keeping It Foxy: I kind of want to leave this review rather succinct and just end on that note of love. But I also feel compelled to at least mention the #2 critter on the call sheet, as Roz strikes up an unlikely friendship with an otherwise defiantly independent fox named Fink. His mischievous vibe is similar to that of a certain blue hedgehog, which is why I spent the whole movie thinking that he was voiced by Ben Schwartz, when in actuality he was voiced by Mr. Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal. So good job embodying the impish spirit of Mr. Schwartz, Pedro! Whether on purpose or by total coincidence, it was absolutely the right choice.

The Wild Robot is Recommended If You Like: A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Babe, Homeward Bound

Grade: 4 out of 5 Universal Dynamics

Inject ‘The Substance’ Straight Into Everyone! (Not Literally, Though)

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The Substance is full of substance. (CREDIT: MUBI/Screenshot)

Starring: Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, Dennis Quaid

Director: Coralie Fargeat

Running Time: 141 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 20, 2024 (Theaters)

Not long ago, I discovered that Will & Harper was the perfect movie for my habit of reviewing cinema by asking, “Would I like to be a part of what this movie is all about?” But now I’m confronted with the totally opposite situation in the form of The Substance, as I would most definitely decline to inject myself with the titular substance. I prefer when things are in balance!

Although, I suppose I could learn from Elisabeth/Sue’s example and just not make the same mistakes. But ultimately, I’d still have to say “Nah.” Working out our most grotesque desires/insecurities without actually going into the danger zone is one of the most useful purposes of art, so just watching The Substance is enough for me. I imagine Coralie Fargeat and her cast and crew felt similarly by making it happen.

Grade: 77 Activators out of 101 Stabilizers

That’s Auntertainment! Mini-Episode: September 2024 Emmys Recap

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Emmy, meet Levy (CREDIT: ABC/Screenshot)

It’s Primetime Emmy Time, which means it’s also the perfect time for a That’s Auntertainment Season Premiere!

Give Your Green Light to ‘Will & Harper’

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W&H (CREDIT: Netflix)

Starring: Will Ferrell, Harper Steele

Director: Josh Greenbaum

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 13, 2024 (Theaters)/September 27, 2024 (Netflix)

Will & Harper is basically the perfect film for my silly little habit of asking some variation of the question, “Would I like to be a part of what this movie is all about?” Because the answer is an unequivocal “Yes!”

The titular “Will” is Will Ferrell, one of my favorite Funny People on Planet Earth, while the titular “Harper” is Harper Steele, a former Saturday Night Live writer who often teamed up with Will during their time together at Studio 8H. And Will & Harper is about the cross-country* road trip they go on together in the wake of the latter’s gender transition as a trans woman (*-that country being the United States).

It would’ve just been grand if I could’ve been there right alongside them, even if just for a minute. What if they had serendipitously dropped into a Dunkin’ Donuts in my neighborhood? It could’ve happened! Maybe it still could! But at least I was able to watch this doc and experience their adventure vicariously, which is the next best thing.

Grade: 55 Pringles out of 69 Natty Lights

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 9/20/24

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By my accounting, there’s a lot of TV to watch this Fall (CREDIT: Paramount Plus/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
–A Different Man (Theaters)
–Never Let Go (Theaters)
–The Substance (Theaters) – Gimme (Demi) Moore (of Margaret Qualley).

TV
–The Masked Singer Season 12 Premiere (September 25 on FOX)
–The Floor Season 2 Premiere (September 25 on FOX) – There are even more spaces on the floor this year!
–Colin From Accounts Season 2 Premiere (September 26 on Paramount+)

Music
-Bright Eyes, Five Dice, All Threes
-Nelly Furtado, 7
-Joan As Police Woman, Lemons, Limes & Orchids
-Thurston Moore, Flow Control Lucidity
-Neon Trees, Sink Your Teeth
-Katy Perry, 143 – Will I love it?
-Kate Pierson, Radios and Rainbows
-The Voidz, Like All Before You
-Jamie xx, In Waves

‘Never Let Go’ Could Have Had a Firmer Grip

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Pictured: The Characters in This Movie Not Letting Go (CREDIT: Lionsgate)

Starring: Halle Berry, Percy Daggs IV, Anthony B. Jenkins

Director: Alexandre Aja

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for The Forest at Its Gnarliest and Bloodiest

Release Date: September 20, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: In a cabin deep in the woods live the last three people on Earth, and their trusty dog. Or at least that’s the story that the mother (Halle Berry) tells her twin sons Nolan (Percy Daggs IV) and Sammul (Anthony B. Jenkins). According to Momma, it’s not that the entire human population has died, but rather that everyone has been possessed by a vague, unrelenting Evil. Momma and the boys are only able to survive because their cabin has been specially blessed. So whenever they venture outside, they tie themselves to a rope tethered to the house, as breaking free would leave them vulnerable to the grasp of the Evil. But when their living supplies run low, they’re forced to resort to desperate measures to survive. And that is NOT a formula for maintaining trust in each other.

What Made an Impression?: Extreme Experiences, Extreme Measures: The most logical explanation about the Evil of Never Let Go is that it’s all in Momma’s head, perhaps due to mental illness or apocalyptic religious beliefs, or some combination thereof. Kevin Coughlin and Ryan Grassby’s script and Alexandre Aja’s direction certainly nudges us in that direction. There are some generally creepy humanoid creatures with slithery forked tongues, but only Momma is able to see them, for the most part. She may have also just constructed a fable to protect her family from the more quotidian evils of the world, as she frequently hints about the bad life she escaped from before The Evil. That sounds like a reference to something like addiction and/or abusive relationships, although the way she tells it, it could just be that she moved to a big city and found it to be too godless for her sensibilities.
Ambiguity Overload: That vagueness within Momma’s backstory is infused throughout the entire movie. While the most logical explanation is never not that the Evil is all just in Momma’s head, this is a horror movie, so there’s no good reason why there couldn’t be a supernatural alternative. But whenever there’s evidence refuting Momma’s version of events, she doesn’t offer any compelling reason to believe beyond “That’s just the Evil playing tricks on you.” The final act muddies things quite a bit, though. Nolan, the more doubtful of the two brothers, is a defiant survivor, whereas Sammul appears to be quite vulnerable to possession, although perhaps that’s because he’s inherited some of his mother’s most catastrophic personality traits. The final moments appear to confirm that the Evil is in fact just a story, only to then linger in a way that says, “Actually maybe it is real.”
Ultimately, Never Let Go is compelling as a portrait of what it’s like to have a parent who insists that you need to escape from society without sufficient empirical evidence for why. And there’s something to be said for horror that keeps things unnervingly vague. But this one might have been a bit too vague. If you’re like me, you’ll hold on to the rope while you’re watching, but you’ll be happy to let go soon thereafter.

Never Let Go is Recommended If You Like: Dusty boots and jackets, Eating tree bark, Holding on to one prized vinyl record

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Ropes

It Used to Be That I’d Never Seen ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’ Before in My Life. Or Afterlife. But Now That’s Changed!

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Beetlejuice being Beetlejuicy (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, Jenna Ortega, Justin Theroux, Monica Bellucci, Willem Dafoe, Arthur Conti, Burn Gorman

Director: Tim Burton

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: September 6, 2024 (Theaters)

After seeing Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, it made me want to:

  1. Figure out who Tess Parks is.
  2. Go Full Falsetto and perform “Tragedy” at karaoke.
  3. Wonder anew how and why so much of a song can be focused on a soggy cake.

Now, just because you’ve got an inspiring soundtrack, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got a satisfyingly well-rounded movie. But I enjoyed most of the non-musical elements of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice as well! Thank you, 2024.

Grade: I Like-a the ‘juice

SNL Season 50 Host and Musical Guest Predictions

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CREDIT: Screenshot

Many seasons ago, I used to predict the hosts and musical guests for the upcoming batch of new Saturday Night Live episodes. Looking through the archives, it doesn’t look like I ever did it on this blog, but instead on just a (now-defunct) SNL fan forum. So yeah, it’s been a while, but I kinda felt compelled to peek into my Studio 8H-themed crystal ball once more.

So the way it goes with my SNL guest predictions is that I look over the pop culture calendar for the next several upcoming months and attempt to discern who might conceivably have something they’d like to promote at 30 Rockefeller. But I don’t care all that much about accuracy, so this set of predictions will essentially be doubling as a wish list. Which is to say, some of the folks I’ve chosen might not actually be all that likely to appear on Saturday Night Live during Season 50. Or ever, for that matter. But maybe typing them out loud will manifest something special into existence.

Also, before I get to my predictions, I’ve got a quick programming note about my first wacky review of the season. The premiere is scheduled to air on September 28, and I might be going away that weekend, so my review might be posted a little later than usual. But I promise that it will still be as wacky as ever!

Now on with the predictions! (Feel free to share some of your own in the comments section if you’ve got any.)

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September 2024 Emmy Predictions/Preferences

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I predict… that the Emmy hosts will be funny! (CREDIT: Mark Seliger/Disney)

I’m going to go ahead and offer my predictions and list my preferences for the categories being presented at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards. This is the second Primetime Emmys ceremony in Calendar Year 2024! They’re happening on September 15 on ABC. Let me know what you think down below.

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 9/13/24

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(CREDIT: Jackbox Games/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
–The Babadook 10th Anniversary Re-Release (September 19 in Theaters)
–My Old Ass (Theaters)
–Speak No Evil (Theaters)
–Will & Harper (September 13 in Limited Theaters, September 27 on Netflix) – Will Ferrell and Harper Steele go on a road trip.

TV
-76th Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards (September 14 on FXX)
-76th Primetime Emmy Awards (September 15 on ABC) –  Hosted by the Levy Dad and Son
–Dancing with the Stars Season 33 Premiere (September 17 on ABC and Disney+) – I’m gonna check out this season because of curiosity about a certain con artist cast member.
–High Potential Series Premiere (September 17 on ABC) – Starring an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia cast member on a network show.
–Agatha All Along Series Premiere (September 18 on Disney+) – WandaVision spinoff.
–Frasier Reboot Season 2 Premiere (September 19 on Paramount+)

Music
-Miranda Lambert, Postcards from Texas

Video Games
–Jackbox Naughty Pack (Released September 12 on Steam, PlayStation, Switch, Xbox, Epic Games, Amazon Fire TV, and Apple TV)

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