It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and ‘Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One’ Feels Fine

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Which one’s Dead and which one’s Reckoning? (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Skydance)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Esai Morales, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Vanessa Kirby, Henry Czerny, Pom Klementieff, Shea Whigham, Greg Tarzan Davis

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Running Time: 163 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for A Reckless Relationship with Gravity

Release Date: July 12, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: This might just be the most impossible mission yet! That may sound like hyperbole for a series that’s famously death-defying, but honestly it lives up to the hype. Ethan Hunt (the freakishly indefatigable Tom Cruise) and his pared-down IMF team must somehow figure out how to dispatch a new enemy that threatens to wipe out humanity as we know it by reverting society to an analog dystopia. Of course, that premise is just a setup for the shameless stunts and sizzling globetrotting. In addition to this all-encompassing terror, Ethan is also being chased down by some law enforcement types who aren’t so sure he should be able to operate without impunity anymore.

What Made an Impression?: What’s All This Now?: The Mission: Impossible series combines elements of espionage, big budgets extravaganza, and practical stunt work, all genres that are notorious for being accompanied by nonsensical plots. And Dead Reckoning Part One might just be the nonsensical one yet! As far as I could tell, the enemy wasn’t exactly human, but it could take human form. Or maybe I misunderstood that. But I don’t think I did! The opening scene provided a very thorough explanation, after all. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that Esai Morales plays the villain in question, but confusion still lingered with me by the end. If you find yourself just as confused as I was, you can still enjoy the movie, though you’ll also probably find yourself mulling it over more than you need to.
New and Old, Which One’s New?: In terms of character carryover, Mission: Impossible is kind of like the hall-of-mirrors version of Fast & Furious, if some of those mirrors were covered by blackout blinds. In addition to Cruise as Hunt, you can rely on Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg to be there as his regular IMF buddies. But on the flip side, you could have a love interest like M:I 3‘s Michelle Monagahn just unceremoniously disappear. There’s also a little bit of room for new favorites like Rebecca Ferguson and Vanessa Kirby to remain after their initial appearances, and for new recruits like Hayley Atwell to seamlessly find their place. And we can even reach way back for originals like Henry Czerny who were there in the beginning but have taken most of the sequels off, and you can be tricked into thinking that they’ve been there all along. Basically, the casting in this franchise is a magic act.
So Much Delivered, So Much More to Come
: But let’s finally get down to the bread and butter. The best setpieces all involve a climactic train ride. There’s a cliffside jump to arrive on the train, fights within and outside the train, and a desperate scramble to stay alive and not fall off the train. Before that choo-choo checks in, you might actually wonder what’s taking so long for Dead Reckoning to go for broke as much as usual. But once it does, the massively wound ball of tension lets loose and doesn’t give you any time to catch your breath. And this is just Part One! A nearly three-hour opening chapter, after that. (Or the first half of the seventh chapter, from another point of view.) This is just the latest 2023 blockbuster that forces you to wait another year for the end of the story, but you won’t feel deprived. Dead Reckoning Part One can stand fully on its own, and quite frankly, you’ll need all those extra months to recover.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One is Recommended If You Like: Saying “Huh?” and “Woo-hoo!” at the same time

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Trains

‘Indiana Jones’ and Some Thoughts About Destiny

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Destiny. Why did it have to be destiny? (CREDIT: Lucasfilm/Screenshot)

Starring: Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, Boyd Holbrook, Shaunette Renée Wilson, Antonio Banderas, Toby Jones, Ethann Isidore, Jonathan Rhys Davies, Thomas Kretschmann

Director: James Mangold

Running Time: 154 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 30, 2023 (Theaters)

I genuinely believe that it was my destiny to see Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. But what exactly did that destiny look like? Not all that much like the late 60s in particular, except for when “Magical Mystery Tour” blared out of the speakers. I think there should have been more Space Race vibes, probably. Anyway, everybody seemed to be having fun running around. They certainly had some adventures I bet they’ll never forget! I also would have recommended drawing out the scorpion scene.

Grade: Adjust the Coordinates a Little Bit

I’m Feeling ‘Elemental’

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Like Water for Fire (CREDIT: Pixar/Screenshot)

Starring: Leah Lewis, Mamoudou Athie, Ronnie del Carmen, Shila Ommi, Wendi McClendon-Covey, Catherine O’Hara

Director: Peter Sohn

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: June 16, 2023 (Theaters)

For someone who often reviews movies by asking, “Do I want to be/do what’s in the movie?,” Elemental is a dream come true! A love story between a Fire Person and a Water Creature? Yes, please! Personally, I always feel like I’ve got flames and waterfalls swirling around inside myself. So maybe what I really want is a love story between two fire-water hybrids? In the meantime, though, this works perfectly well enough.

P.S.: Fern Joe Pera talks with us about bureaucracy.

Grade: 4 Conflagrations out of 5 Cascades/4 Monsoons out of 5 Blazes

jmunney’s Top Cinematic Choices for July 2023

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CREDIT: Jolly Family Gifts

They keep making new movies, and some of them are even worth watching. Here’s what’s at the top of the slate for July 2023:

Cobweb: A horror movie about a mysterious creepy tapping on the wall. Lizzy Caplan plays the mom. The boy who hears the tapping is played by Woody Norman, but as far as I can tell, this doesn’t have anything to do with Cheers.

Cobweb will get tangled up in theaters on July 21.

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 6/30/23

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It’s tennish somewhere. (CREDIT: Wimbledon/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Every Body (Theaters)
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (Theaters)

Music
-Frank Zappa, Funky Nothingness – Posthumous.

Sports
-Wimbledon (July 3-16 on ESPN)
-Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest (July 4 on ESPN2)

‘Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken’ Explores What It’s Like to Be a Sea Monster Family Living Amongst the Humans

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What’s Kraken? (CREDIT: DreamWorks)

Starring: Lana Condor, Toni Collette, Jane Fonda, Annie Murphy, Sam Richardson, Colman Domingo, Jaboukie Young-White, Liza Koshy, Blue Chapman, Eduardo Franco, Ramona Young

Director: Kirk DeMicco

Running Time: 91 Minutes

Rating: PG for Colorful, Town-Upending Sea Creature Battles

Release Date: June 30, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: 15-year-old Ruby Gillman (Lana Condor) lives with her parents and younger brother in the oceanside town of Oceanside, but she’s not allowed to ever go in the water. She soon discovers why, as an impromptu attempt to save her crush from drowning results in her blowing up into a certain gigantic legendary sea creature. As it turns out, her mom Agatha (Toni Collette) chose to raise her kids on dry land to escape the eternal underwater struggle for power. But once Ruby discovers that her grandmother (Jane Fonda), who insists on being called “Grandmamah,” emphasis on the last syllable, is the Warrior Queen of the Seven Seas, she happily embraces her royal heritage. On top of all that, Ruby becomes fast friends with a new girl in town who’s also a mermaid (Annie Murphy), whose eagerness to please might just merit a little skepticism.

What Made an Impression?: Oh, Canada, That Explains Everything: One gag that I wish Ruby Gillman had leaned on a little harder is the Gillman family cover story. They’re non-human creatures living amongst humans, so they explain away their cerulean hue and swishy physicality by insisting that they’re from Canada. It’s like the Coneheads saying that they’re from France: there was nothing particularly French about those SNL aliens, just as there’s nothing particularly maple-filled aboot these krakens. But it’s delightful to witness their neighbors accept that claim at face value. Instead of serving as a running gag, though, it’s just an appetizer to the fantastical adventure.
It Runs in the Family: With its transformational premise, you’d think that Ruby Gillman is primarily a metaphor about adolescence, and I suppose it is. But what struck me more was the focus on conflicting parenting philosophies. Or rather, accidentally similar mothering despite a concerted effort to avoid the previous generation’s mistakes. Agatha appears to be much more sensitive to Ruby’s predicament than Grandmamah ever was to her, but she’s also just as insistent that her kids must live a particular way. In a key scene, Fonda and Collette throw down in a tête-à-tête that illuminates the importance of granting grace to our family members, especially in the face of a wider threat.
Where There’s a Will: Ruby Gillman brings the comic relief in the form of some reliable yukmeisters. First, there’s Sam Richardson as Agatha’s eternally positive brother Brill, and then especially, the good humor cranks up when Will Forte makes waves as the wary but determined old sailor Gordon Lighthouse. This is the sort of character whose maiden is the sea, as he devotes himself to hunting down underwater creatures with Ahab-like devotion. Forte excels at these types who exist on the fringes of society, and he’s a welcome joy to leaven the scary-by-PG-standards action.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken is Recommended If You: Suspect that mermaids are hiding something

Grade: 3 out of 5 Tentacles

Jmunney’s 2023 Emmy Wish List

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CREDIT: Screenshots

I’ve been making an Emmy wishlist for most of my adult TV-viewing life. Every year, the task keeps getting more and more Herculean with the proliferation of an endless supply of new shows. I could easily name about a hundred people who deserve an Emmy in 2023, but instead, I’ve decided to do the opposite this year by just picking One Wish Per Category.

These aren’t necessarily my top choices in each category, but they are ones who could use the boost, as none of them appears to be the most likely to win, or even necessarily be nominated. (A few of them weren’t even included on the official Emmy ballot!) But they’re all worthy of viewers’ attention, so before the official nominations are announced on July 12, consider giving these a chance if you happen to ever enjoy that increasingly elusive phenomenon of “free time.”

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‘Every Body’ is an Essential Documentary About the Intersex Community

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Every Body, EVERY Body, Every Body, EVERY Body (CREDIT: Courtesy of FOCUS FEATURES / © 2023 FOCUS FEATURES LLC)

Starring: River Gallo, Alicia Roth Weigel, Sean Saifa Wall

Director: Julie Cohen

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for A Little Bit of Language and Nude Images

Release Date: June 30, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Perhaps the least widely understood letter in the acronym LGBTQIA is the “I.” It stands for “intersex,” which refers to individuals with biological sex characteristics that don’t fit neatly into the male/female binary. It’s estimated that about 1.7% of the population have some sort of intersex characteristics. In some cases, those traits may remain undetected, but in others, surgery may happen to confirm a particular sex assignment. The documentary Every Body focuses on the stories of three intersex individuals (River Gallo, Alicia Roth Weigel, Sean Saifa Wall) of varying physical appearance and gender identity to posit that maybe the treatment of intersex people shouldn’t be as one-size-fits-all as it has historically been.

What Made an Impression?: Gender Reveal Pandemonium: Every Body opens with a montage of gender reveal parties and their elaborate, often violent methods of introducing a coming baby’s identity. The sequence is matter-of-factly over-the-top, even without showing some of the most notoriously destructive examples of this phenomenon. The point is that society is so focused on gender, often to a comical extreme, which ultimately leads to the suggestion that ultimately maybe we could settle down a bit and replace these gender reveals with the theoretically simpler alternative of “human reveal parties.”
An Infamous Case: Perhaps the most crucial sequence of Every Body involves River, Alicia, and Sean being introduced to the story of one of the most well-known intersex persons, who actually wasn’t intersex at all. Born in 1965, David Reimer’s penis was mutilated when he was a baby by a botched circumcision. Reconstructive surgery was pretty much nonexistent at the time, so his mother followed the teachings of psychologist John Money, who believed that gender identity could be conditioned through behavioral intervention. So David was raised as a girl, but his fundamental boyhood couldn’t hide for very long. His story is presented here mostly in the form of an old Dateline episode, but his story remains vital, and the added context of everyone’s reactions justify its conclusion.
Getting to Know Them: A documentary like this one is only as compelling as its subjects, and on that score, River, Alicia, and Sean are interesting and inviting individuals. Their viewpoints of the intersex parts of their identity are deeply and firmly considered, and they’re happy to explain themselves to a cinematic audience. And chances are you’ll also be happy to start a parasocial relationship with them.

Every Body is Recommended If You Like: The concept of cura personalis

Grade: 4 out of 5 Humans

‘No Hard Feelings’ Features More Than One Hard Feeling

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No Hard Feelings, but Yes Dog Feelings (CREDIT: Macall Polay/Columbia Pictures)

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Andrew Barth Feldman, Natalie Morales, Scott MacArthur, Matthew Broderick, Laura Benanti, Ebon Moss-Bachrach

Director: Gene Stupnitsky

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 23, 2023 (Theaters)

No Hard Feelings, eh? I think I developed some soft feelings, actually! What I’m trying to say is that this movie has a gooey heart at its center. Do I want to have no hard feelings? Quite frankly, I don’t think I could stop myself from having them even if I wanted to try. Nor do I think anybody could really. They’ll come out eventually, no helicopter parenting intervention necessary.

Grade: 2 Rollerblades in 3 Long Island Iced Teas

That’s Auntertaiment Mini-Episode: What’s Jeff Watching? #9

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Summer’s here, and the TV is … hot (CREDIT: Netflix/Screenshot)

Remember when there weren’t a million things to watch in June?

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