Does ‘The Phoenician Scheme’ Have What We’re Looking For?

1 Comment

A couple of schemeers (Credit: Courtesy of TPS Productions/Focus Features © 2025 All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Benicio del Toro, Mia Threapleton, Michael Cera, Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade, Jeffrey Wright, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rupert Friend, Hope Davis, Bill Murray, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Willem Dafoe, F. Murray Abraham

Director: Wes Anderson

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Gunshots, Plane Crashes, and Mid-century Tobacco

Release Date: May 30, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: It’s 1950, and businessman Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) is at an impasse. He’s trying to complete a major infrastructure project, but he finds himself the victim of several assassination attempts and a consortium of rival tycoons trying to box him out from all of his moneymaking endeavors. Sensing that his demise may be imminent, he summons his nun-in-training daughter Liesl (Mia Threapleton) from the convent to inform her that he’s making her his sole heir. Then the two of them journey off along with his sons’ tutor Bjørn (Michael Cera) to close the funding gap for his project and maybe also discover who killed Liesl’s mother years ago.

What Made an Impression?: Is Redemption Possible?: Zsa-zsa is introduced as a ruthless capitalist who pretty much deserves to be assassinated. He might have even also killed Liesl’s mom! But does this rapscallion have the capacity for change? I must say, it’s hard not to notice some softening. Maybe it’s the visions of pearly gates, maybe it’s Liesl’s pious but nonjudgmental influence, but somehow someway he’s inching towards respectability. By the end, there are still plenty of grievous missteps on his ledger that he must accept responsibility for, but I mostly bought the redemption.
They Shoot, They Score!: My favorite scene in The Phoenician Scheme features Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston as a pair of brothers playing basketball against Zsa-zsa and Riz Ahmed’s prince character. They call it 2-on-2, first-to-5, but it’s really a round of H-O-R-S-E. But who cares about technicalities when H&C relish tossing the rock this much? They might be AARP-eligible, but they’re looking more athletic than they ever have.
Silly Voices and Such: I’m not a super-fan of Wes Anderson, but I enjoy him well enough to consistently appreciate his fastidious eye for detail and ability to ground over-the-top fashion and quirky architecture. That works best in this feature in terms of the ridiculous accents that are occasionally revealed as put-ons for outlandishly simple disguises.* I chuckled heartily. (*Richard Ayoade, in contrast, deploys what I believe is his adorably natural voice as a communist revolutionary.)
A Star Takes Her Vows: Del Toro may be Number 1 on the call sheet, but I suspect that Threapleton will be enjoying the majority of the buzz. She’s the daughter of Kate Winslet and Jim Threapleton, so gird yourself if you have an aversion to nepo babies. But regardless of her heritage, she sets herself apart as a unique screen presence as she pulls off the neat trick of making us fall in love with a bride of Christ. Or maybe that’s actually the easiest task in the world, because of the taboo aspect of it all. Either way, she nails it.

The Phoenician Scheme is Recommended If You: Have an Endless Wes Andersonian Appetite, Forever and Ever, Amen

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Hand Grenades

‘Kung Fu Panda 4’ Review: What Has Po Gotten Himself Into This Time?

Leave a comment

Skadoosh Skadoosh Skadoosh Skadoosh (CREDIT: DreamWorks Animation)

Starring: Jack Black, Awkwafina, Dustin Hoffman, James Hong, Bryan Cranston, Ian McShane, Ke Huy Quan, Lori Tan Chinn, Ronny Chieng

Director: Mike Mitchell

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: PG for Typical Cartoon Mayhem

Release Date: March 8, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Giant panda Po’s (Jack Black) status as the Dragon Warrior has always been met with skepticism by some of the other talking animals around him. But now he’s actually expected to retire and find a successor, as he settles into a role as more of a local wise man. That feels like even less of a natural fit for this rotund goofball, but luckily Kung Fu Panda 4 is more interested in sending him on one last great adventure. A shapeshifting reptile known as The Chameleon (Viola Davis) is stealing all the kung fu masters’ powers, so Po teams up with streetwise fox Zhen (Awkwafina) for what might be his most dangerous mission yet. Fortunately (or annoyingly), his biological dad (Bryan Cranston) and his adoptive goose dad (James Hong) are sneakily following right behind to make sure nothing too deadly happens to their boy.

What Made an Impression?: Locating the Lore: Before this fourth cinematic outing, I’d only ever seen the first Kung Fu Panda. I was hoping to catch up with 2 and 3, but alas, I didn’t get around to it. I wasn’t too worried about those shortcomings, though, because this series isn’t exactly beholden to impenetrably dense mythology the way that less kid-friendly franchises often are. Still, in addition to the big screen sequels, it has spawned multiple TV spin-offs that add up to more than a hundred total episodes. So while I didn’t exactly feel lost in the Kung Fu Panda lore, I did get the sense that there have probably been more fulfilling adventures in Po and Co.’s pasts. Jack Black is infinitely charming (and he delivers a killer cover of a certain late 90s pop hit during the end credits), but my mind drifted to all sorts of other topics while I watched KFP4.
Rolling Around: So while KFP4 didn’t exactly make me immediately seek out my own martial arts training, at least the animation is reliably colorful and engaging. It makes solid use of the geography, with Po and his cohorts rolling around and causing mayhem on cobbled streets and imposing castles. And there are some solid visual gags dispersed throughout, including a riff on that old saying about bulls in a china shop, as well as a moment with Po summoning his (multiple) inner voice(s). They didn’t exactly release my inner child, but they were worth a few chuckles.
Who’s That Voice?: My mental energy during this viewing was mostly spent on trying to identify the actor behind Po’s dad Li Shan. I was pretty sure I knew him primarily as a sitcom dad. And while that did turn out to be accurate, it’s been nearly two decades since that was his signature gig. Meanwhile, my viewing companion confessed that it took her nearly the entire running time to pinpoint Viola Davis’ inimitable purr as the voice of the big baddie. Honestly, film culture doesn’t talk often enough about the great joy of trying to identify voiceover performances without looking at the credits. We should rectify that.

Kung Fu Panda 4 is Recommended If You Like: The underdog (or the underpanda, as it were) remaining the underdog forever

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Skadooshes

‘Argylle’ is Total Nonsense, But Is It Also a Good Time?

2 Comments

Wait a minute — the cat! (CREDIT: Universal Pictures/Apple Original Films/Marv)

Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Sofia Boutella, Rob Delaney, Richard E. Grant, Chip the Cat

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Running Time: 139 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Violence That Makes the Main Character Constantly Wince

Release Date: February 2, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a super-duper successful espionage novelist, so much so that some actual spies have started to take notice of her. It turns out that the plot of her books have somehow mirrored the actual activities of an underground spy ring known as The Division. At least that’s the story that a bearded man named Aidan (Sam Rockwell) tells her when he randomly pops up like he’s in a Terminator movie to say that she better come with him if she wants to live. And well, he might be onto something, as there do seem to suddenly be a lot of people with guns and knives in Elly’s vicinity. Meanwhile, she keeps having visions of Argylle (Henry Cavill), the titular hero of her novels who seems to know her better than she knows herself.

What Made an Impression?: We’re in a Spy Movie!: I found it difficult to embrace Argylle, because it just never felt like any of these characters were particularly spy-like. Instead, they felt more like people who were excited to be in a spy movie. Now look, I’ve never met a secret agent (that I know of!), so I can’t say with authority what genuine espionage dialogue truly is. But I’m still a little skeptical that the cloak and dagger set would refer to their adversaries as generically as “the bad guys.” And that seeming lack of authenticity is doubly felt by how antithetical it is to Argylle‘s premise.
Dance For Your Life: In general, I’ve found Matthew Vaughn’s films to be at best only fitfully compelling. But I can’t deny that he knows how to choreograph some marvelously kinetic action sequences, particularly when they marry combat with dance. In 2015’s Kingsman, the standout set piece was a massacre in a church set to “Free Bird,” while Argylle ups the ante with a battle royale on a train soundtracked by Sylvester and Patrick Cowley’s disco hit “Do You Wanna Funk.” Vaughn’s characters might be fighting over nonsense, but these melees are something special.
Stupid Fun or Just Stupid?: In the interest of avoiding spoilers, I won’t reveal why Elly’s novels are so prescient, but I will say that once we do get an explanation, Argylle really kicks into a higher gear. Suffice it to say, the explanation is a classic trope based on presumably bogus science. But as far as hokum goes, it’s enjoyable-enough hokum that can push the plot along in zippy directions. It justifies at least a little of all this silly business.

Argylle is Recommended If You Like: The Kingsman series, Unknown, Hypnotic

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Gray Cats

Wes Anderson Invites Us to Look to the Skies in ‘Asteroid City’

1 Comment

3 Men, 1 Asteroid (CREDIT: Courtesy of Pop. 87 Productions/Focus Features)

Starring: Jason Schwartzman, Jake Ryan, Scarlett Johansson, Grace Edwards, Tom Hanks, Ella Faris, Gracie Faris, Willan Faris, Jeffrey Wright, Tilda Swinton, Bryan Cranston, Edward Norton, Adrien Brody, Liev Schreiber, Hope Davis, Stephen Park, Rupert Friend, Maya Hawke, Steve Carell, Matt Dillon, Hong Chau, Willem Dafoe, Margot Robbie, Tony Revolori, Jeff Goldblum, Sophia Lillis, Fisher Stevens, Ethan Josh Lee, Aristou Meehan, Rita Wilson, Jarvis Cocker, Bob Balaban, Seu Jorge

Director: Wes Anderson

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Mild Adult Themes and A Shot of Nudity at a Distorted Angle

Release Date: June 16, 2023 (Limited Theaters)/June 23, 2023 (Expands Wide)

What’s It About?: A motley crew of various characters converge in the titular town of Asteroid City in Wes Anderson’s latest ode to symmetry and midcentury vibes. They’re there for the Junior Stargazer convention, and some surprise visitors might just stop by as well. Front and center in the cavalcade are Augie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzman), a war photographer whose father-in-law (Tom Hanks) keeps reminding him that he needs to tell his son Woodrow (Jake Ryan) and triplet daughters (Ella, Gracie, and Willan Faris) that their mother has recently died. And he’ll have plenty of time to do that now that their car has comically broken down!

In the meantime, he also strikes up a medium-hot rapport with movie star Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johansson), while her brainiac teenage daughter Dinah (newcomer Grace Edwards) and Woodrow form a smarty-pants committee with the other young budding astronomers in town. And it’s also worth noting that Asteroid City doesn’t actually exist, as the movie is presented as a play-within-a-movie, with occasional peeks behind the walls and curtains.

Don’t make an Asteroid out of yourself (CREDIT: Courtesy of Pop. 87 Productions/Focus Features)

What Made an Impression?: To B a Movie: Essentially, Asteroid City seems to be the end result of Wes Anderson watching a whole bunch of 50s and 60s sci-fi B movies and then going, “Okay, what if we made another one of those, but did it a little like this?” This is something that would’ve been called “The Terror in the Skies” back in the day, although in Wes’ version, the real terror comes from all the heavy emotions in our hearts that we haven’t fully confronted yet. But thanks to his signature gentle approach, we feel safe that we’ll get there. It’s the inverse of Nope: instead of freaking out at a potential extraterrestrial, we lean in and start thinking, “Hey there, stranger.”
The Persistence of Memory: Perhaps the most striking scene in Asteroid City (at least from my vantage point) is a memory game played by Woodrow, Dinah, and a few other junior stargazers. They take turns naming a famous person, and these brainiacs all choose some of the most difficult-to-pronounce monikers in the world. Invariably, though, they have no trouble keeping any of them straight. That scene isn’t representative of the entire movie from a plot standpoint, but it does capture the vibe in full.
The Gang’s All There: Asteroid City‘s major movie star cast is as much a bounty of riches as any other Wes Anderson flick, perhaps more than ever. A few of the players just pop in for little more than cameos, and the whole adventure can feel a little overwhelming. There’s a lot packed into just an hour and 45 minutes! On top of that, the play-within-a-movie structure presents more to keep track of than I was expecting. For full digestion, you might want a second viewing, for both intellectual and emotional fulfillment.

Asteroid City is Recommended If You Like: B flicks, Dusty summer camps, Burial ceremonies

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Stargazers

Best 2020 Super Bowl Commercials

Leave a comment

CREDIT: Reeses/YouTube Screenshot

The major trend of Super Bowl LIV’s ads appeared to be Collaboration. Multiple spots promoted multiple products, what with Charlie Day asking everyone what to do about his stain and Sofia Vergara teaming up with the Old Spice guy and the Charmin bear with the clean heinie to take care of a chili spill. As for my own particular personal reactions, it felt so good to laugh again!

Before I get to the rankings, I would like to note that at the viewing party I attended, it was hard to hear the ads during the first half, but thankfully by the third quarter the acoustics were much more favorable. If any early spots looked like they deserved reconsideration, I made sure to re-watch them on YouTube.

5. Minions: The Rise of Gru, “Get Ready” – Usually I don’t include movie or TV trailers in these rankings, but this is Minions (set to “Sabotage”), so obviously I had to make an exception.

More

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Isle of Dogs’ is an Adorable Allegorical Adventure About the Dangers of Fascism

Leave a comment

CREDIT: Fox Searchlight Pictures

This review was originally published on News Cult in March 2018.

Starring: Bryan Cranston, Koyu Rankin, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Bob Balaban, Jeff Goldblum, Kunichi Nomura, Akira Takayama, Greta Gerwig, Frances McDormand, Akira Ito, Scarlett Johansson, Harvey Keitel, F. Murray Abraham, Yoko Ono, Tilda Swinton, Ken Watanabe, Mari Natsuki, Fisher Stevens, Nijiro Murakami, Liev Schreiber, Courtney B. Vance

Director: Wes Anderson

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Dog-on-Dog Violence and Dictatorial Tendencies

Release Date: March 23, 2018 (Limited)

“Whatever happened to man’s best friend?” Nothing, right? We human beings still love dogs, and that cannot possibly ever change! But what if something so terrible happened that it could make us turn on them? One of the functions of fiction is training ourselves to handle horrible hypotheticals. Thus, with the stop-motion animated Isle of Dogs, Wes Anderson has delivered an invaluable how-to guide for if the world should ever turn so severely on our furry companions.

Twenty years in the future, Japan has banished its entire canine population to the bluntly literally named Trash Island, due to a widespread outbreak of snout fever and dog flu. The two conditions appear to be connected as how HIV can lead to AIDS. In this dystopia, the fear from those in charge that the disease could spread to humans is enough to override any bounty of puppy love, despite promising progress for a cure. So intrepid folks must step up on their own to save the dogs, like the young boy Atari (Koyu Rankin), an orphaned ward of the state adopted by his distant uncle, Mayor Kobayashi (Kunichi Nomura). Atari ventures to Trash Island to save his canine protector Spots (Liev Schreiber), who also happens to be the outbreak’s Dog Zero. Joining up with him in his quest are a group of other cast-off dogs with variations on the same sort of name – Rex (Edward Norton), King (Bob Balaban), Boss (Bill Murray), and Duke (Jeff Goldblum) – as well as Chief (Bryan Cranston), the fiercely independent stray who has always lived on his own.

An island entirely populated by dogs might sound like the pinnacle of Wes Anderson giving into his most indulgent instincts, but the darkness of the premise is enough to assuage any of those concerns. Plus, the animation does not hold back from the more aesthetically displeasing elements. These pups are mangy, with fur falling off and distorted pupils. They are also fairly irritable; one early standoff results in an ear getting bit off. Isle of Dogs works as an adventure film as well as it does because it does not back away from the danger, while still bringing plenty of fun to that peril. Fight scenes are portrayed in cartoon chaos clouds, while an accidental trip through a trash incinerator is met with droll acceptance. The set pieces are whimsical, but the stakes are life-or-death.

Isle of Dogs could easily be appreciated just for its surface level sensations, but like so many talking animal flicks, there is an allegory lurking not too far below. And considering current worldwide political trends, Wes Anderson’s anti-fascist storytelling is profoundly welcome. Quarantining a contagious population is an understandable disease control tactic, but what happens to these dogs is more banishment than quarantine. And when a solution appears to be possible, Mayor Kobayashi hides that development for the sake of retaining power, trotting out clearly fraudulent election results in the process. BoJack Horseman-style anthropomorphic dogspeak (“my brother from another litter”) helps it go down easy, but these are heavy ideas that deserve and are granted careful consideration.

A few more items worth noting: even though the setting is Japan, the dogs just about exclusively speak English, even when communicating with humans speaking Japanese. In fact, there is a good deal of American and Japanese cultural mixing. All the political machinations are translated by an interpreter (Frances McDormand), apparently for American and other English-speaking audiences, and an American exchange student (Greta Gerwig) leads a revolt against Kobayashi. The bilingual setup feels woven together mostly seamlessly, though I do wonder if Asian audiences might have a different take on the matter than I do. And I would be terribly remiss if I did not mention Alexandre Desplat’s excellent score, pounded along by unrelenting taiko drums, keeping the tension both constantly uneasy and delicious.

Isle of Dogs is Recommended If You Like: Wes Anderson Symmetry, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Animal Farm, Zootopia, The Goonies, BoJack Horseman

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Puppy Snaps

 

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Last Flag Flying’ Hashes Out the Personal Effects of War with Endless Conversations

Leave a comment

CREDIT: Wilson Webb/Lionsgate

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Steve Carell, Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburne

Director: Richard Linklater

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: R for Dropping Some Profanity with Your Buds

Release Date: November 3, 2017 (Limited)/Expands Nationwide November 17, 2017

Richard Linklater’s Last Flag Flying is a sequel to Hal Ashby’s 1973 film The Last Detail, but you wouldn’t know that from any of the promotional materials, which make no mention of the earlier flick. You also wouldn’t know it from looking at the character names, which are not consistent between the two films. I have not seen The Last Detail, but as far as I can gather, Bryan Cranston is playing a version of a character played by Jack Nicholson, Laurence Fishburne is doing a spin on Otis Young, and Steve Carell is updating a role by (of all people) Randy Quaid. Anyway, as for the actual narrative of Last Flag Flying, all this background info is basically just as a curiosity, as this unofficial sequel stands perfectly well enough on its own.

If you were to go into Last Flag Flying completely unaware of The Last Detail (and presumably many people will), you would possibly find yourself thinking, “Hey! There’s plenty of room to craft a prequel out of this story.” Vietnam War veterans Larry “Doc” Shepherd (Carell), Sal Nealon (Cranston), and Richard Mueller (Fishburne) are psychologically torn asunder but forever bound by an incident at the end of their time in the same Marine unit. Doc committed a petty crime, Sal and Mueller helped discipline him, and he spent a couple years in a military prison. There is no ill will between the three of them, but they have gone decades without seeing each other. Now they are reuniting in a way that reunions so often unfortunately happen. Doc’s son has followed his father into the Marines, enlisting for the Iraq War, where he has died in an ambush. With few close family or friends, Doc turns to his old service buddies to help escort his son’s body to the funeral.

What follows is a trip from Virginia to New Hampshire. Instead of wide open shots of the open road we get cramped moments along the heavily trafficked Mid-Atlantic and northeast United States. Also, talking. Lots and lots of talking. Doc, Sal, and Mueller shoot the shit, air out grievances, ask pressing philosophical questions about their country and life and death, and generally strengthen an eternal bond of friendship.

While it may not necessarily be their most well-known trademark, all three stars are notable for their oratory. Just consider Cranston’s deadly commands as Walter White, Carell’s wild verbal dexterity in the likes of The Daily Show and Bruce Almighty, or Fishburne’s spellbinding declarations in The Matrix. For the most part, Last Flag plays its conversations in a much more mild key than those examples, but the effects are still quite pressing. There are questions about the point of even venturing into Iraq. It’s still 2003, thus before the falsification of evidence that led to this war has fully been revealed, so these worries are not about especially particular objections, but they are no less pressing. Running through the bloodstream of this film is a very human desire for simple respect, to be told straight what is actually going on. Last Flag Flying is for anyone who values forthrightness, and for anyone who can share in the joy of three middle-aged guys buying their very first cell phones in the middle of Manhattan.

Last Flag Flying is Recommended If You Like: The Big Chill, My Dinner with Andre, Catching up with old friends.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Black Men Named Richard

This Is a Movie Review: Why Him?

Leave a comment

why-him-bryan-cranston-james-franco

This review was originally published on News Cult in December 2016.

Starring: Bryan Cranston, James Franco, Zoey Deutch, Megan Mullally

Director: John Hamburg

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Getting a Little Loose with the Language

Release Date: December 23, 2016

When I first saw the trailer for Why Him?, I thought, “Well, if there’s anyone who can wring something worthwhile out of this stale premise, it might just be Bryan Cranston and James Franco.” It’s Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner for the 21st century: instead of a black man marrying a white woman, it’s James Franco. This particular version of Franco is Laird Mayhew, a vulgar and oversharing but very sweet billionaire video game mogul. He butts heads with father of his girlfriend Ned Fleming (Cranston), the high-strung head of a struggling Detroit printing company. A big deal is made about how alike Ned and Laird are, which is a bit of an exaggeration, though they are both honest to a fault. It is also striking how similar these characters are to their stars’ past roles. Ned is a harried dad that is a variation of the same vein as Walter White or Malcolm in the Middle’s Hal. And Franco is as irrepressible as always.

So, the leads are all set to bite into the gags, and they are not timid about exploring the explicit shenanigans the script leads them into. But the marks of assembly-line modern film comedy (i.e., unimaginative editing and cinematography that favors simple coverage of all angles) cramp their style. That lack of directorial personality is a shame, because the film has some fascinating and relatively unique ideas at its core. For example, Laird was raised by a single mother who never let him outside the house much, which renders Why Him? an interesting examination of someone who never had the experience to learn social skills.

Why Him? also aims to go thematically deeper, as Ned’s predicament touches upon the disappearance of traditional Midwest manufacturing jobs – a sort of Office meets Brexit, as it were. This does not play as a huge concern, but it is a hard topic to avoid in 2016. More pressing, and more timeless, are the women-friendly bona fides at play. This may be no fiery treatise, but the underlying message is undeniably feminist. The film is positively aware that the girlfriend/daughter (Zoey Deutch) is no mere MacGuffin, but a legitimate person in her own right.

Why Him? is Recommended If You LikeDaddy’s Home But Wish It Had Been a Good Movie, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner But Wish That James Franco Had Played Sidney Poitier, Breaking Bad But Wish That James Franco Had Played the Methamphetamine

Grade: 3.5 out 5 Bidet-Style Toilets

SNL Recap October 2, 2010: Bryan Cranston/Kanye West

Leave a comment

Live from New York, it’s 93-year old sex machine Ernest Borgnine!

Cold Opening – Rahm Emanuel Hands the Chief of Staff Reins to Peter Rouse
Andy’s Rahm Emanuel impression is fun enough, but this was o better than your standard crazy/scary person act. Bobby had little to as Peter Rouse. B-

Bryan Cranston’s Monologue
The premise of the back-up singers getting Cranston’s name wrong was a good idea, but they didn’t stick with it long enough.  That is a premise that can take you far, but for some inexplicable reason, they got his name right by the end of it. B

More