The Challenges of Ungentlemanly Tennis

April 29, 2024

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Ungentlemanly Warfare, huh, what is it good for? CREDIT: Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures/Lionsgate

Challengers

Starring: Zendaya, Josh O’Connor, Mike Faist

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Running Time: 131 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 26, 2024 (Theaters)

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

Starring: Henry Cavill, Eiza González, Alan Ritchson, Henry Golding, Alex Pettyfer, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Babs Olusanmokun, Cary Elwes, Til Schweiger, Henrique Zaga, Rory Kinnear, Danny Sapani, Freddie Fox

Director: Guy Ritchie

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 19, 2024 (Theaters)

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‘Argylle’ is Total Nonsense, But Is It Also a Good Time?

January 31, 2024

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Wait a minute — the cat! (CREDIT: Universal Pictures/Apple Original Films/Marv)

Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Sofia Boutella, Rob Delaney, Richard E. Grant, Chip the Cat

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Running Time: 139 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Violence That Makes the Main Character Constantly Wince

Release Date: February 2, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a super-duper successful espionage novelist, so much so that some actual spies have started to take notice of her. It turns out that the plot of her books have somehow mirrored the actual activities of an underground spy ring known as The Division. At least that’s the story that a bearded man named Aidan (Sam Rockwell) tells her when he randomly pops up like he’s in a Terminator movie to say that she better come with him if she wants to live. And well, he might be onto something, as there do seem to suddenly be a lot of people with guns and knives in Elly’s vicinity. Meanwhile, she keeps having visions of Argylle (Henry Cavill), the titular hero of her novels who seems to know her better than she knows herself.

What Made an Impression?: We’re in a Spy Movie!: I found it difficult to embrace Argylle, because it just never felt like any of these characters were particularly spy-like. Instead, they felt more like people who were excited to be in a spy movie. Now look, I’ve never met a secret agent (that I know of!), so I can’t say with authority what genuine espionage dialogue truly is. But I’m still a little skeptical that the cloak and dagger set would refer to their adversaries as generically as “the bad guys.” And that seeming lack of authenticity is doubly felt by how antithetical it is to Argylle‘s premise.
Dance For Your Life: In general, I’ve found Matthew Vaughn’s films to be at best only fitfully compelling. But I can’t deny that he knows how to choreograph some marvelously kinetic action sequences, particularly when they marry combat with dance. In 2015’s Kingsman, the standout set piece was a massacre in a church set to “Free Bird,” while Argylle ups the ante with a battle royale on a train soundtracked by Sylvester and Patrick Cowley’s disco hit “Do You Wanna Funk.” Vaughn’s characters might be fighting over nonsense, but these melees are something special.
Stupid Fun or Just Stupid?: In the interest of avoiding spoilers, I won’t reveal why Elly’s novels are so prescient, but I will say that once we do get an explanation, Argylle really kicks into a higher gear. Suffice it to say, the explanation is a classic trope based on presumably bogus science. But as far as hokum goes, it’s enjoyable-enough hokum that can push the plot along in zippy directions. It justifies at least a little of all this silly business.

Argylle is Recommended If You Like: The Kingsman series, Unknown, Hypnotic

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Gray Cats

This Is a Movie Review: Mission: Impossible – Fallout

August 12, 2018

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CREDIT: Paramount Pictures

Mission: Impossible – Fallout is to Ethan Hunt what Spectre is to James Bond, but not that (transparently) insane and mostly successful. But what I really want to talk about is this idea that Hunt is irreplaceable. The conjecture that there is only person for the most dangerous jobs in the world is certainly compelling, but is it healthy? If we’re talking about how it applies to reality, certainly not. For the sake of the world and for the sake of their personal lives, experts and superheroes should have backups and successors in place. But when we’re talking about the cinematic medium, the calculus is a little different … or is it?

M:I isn’t the only spy and/or insane stunt franchise that has been killing it in the past 20 years, which means we’ve got our backups. And when Tom Cruise finally calls it quits (in a billion years or so), maybe a worthy Ethan Hunt successor will somehow run into our hearts. In the universe where the IMF exists, Hunt really shouldn’t place the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. But since this world is a fictional place, it’s working as it’s supposed to.

I give Mission: Impossible – Fallout 4 Cliffhangs out of 5 Shifting Allegiances.

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Justice League’ is Okay, I Guess

November 16, 2017

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CREDIT: Warner Bros.

This review was originally posted on News Cult in November 2017.

Starring: Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Ciarán Hinds, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, J.K. Simmons, Connie Nielsen

Director: Zack Snyder

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Localized Explosions, Heat Vision Mishaps, and Grotesque Insectoids

Release Date: November 17, 2017

Would you rather have a true auteurist vision that is decidedly ugly and off-putting, or a plainly adequate film with little distinct personality? If you want something to endlessly discuss and theorize about, go with the former. But if you want something to actually watch, go with the latter.

Justice League is perhaps the least Zack Snyder-y film of Zack Snyder’s career. Absent completely is the washed-out color palette. Fabian Wagner’s cinematography is mostly workmanlike, but he does what he can in a limited sandbox, and the result is actually pleasant to look at. Colors are not only present, they’re vibrant! There is an early scene of Bruce Wayne and Diana Prince walking along some lush greenery, and it makes me wish the whole film had just been Justice League Hanging Out in the Park. The action might still fit within Snyder’s kinetic pinball wheelhouse, but it is not as garishly stylized as usual. And because this is a post-Wonder Woman world, the hard-to-be-a-god, brooding cynicism has given way to genuine hopefulness. Really, the only Snyder signature that unequivocally remains is the best one, i.e., the rediscovered rock song scoring the opening credits (this time, it’s Norwegian singer Sigrid’s take on Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows”).

The main duty of Justice League is finding a way forward after the colossal slog that was Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice by way assembling its titular superteam and resurrecting its most iconic member. The returning headliners, namely Affleck’s Batman and Gadot’s Wonder Woman, unquestionably know how to handle this heft. Ezra Miller’s Flash and Jason Momoa’s Aquaman convey their characters economically enough. Ray Fisher could use some more prime time as Cyborg, but it’s an okay start. Overall, it’s refreshing that everyone is eager to team up because they simply recognize how much the entire world is at stake. Isn’t that how superheroes were always meant to be?

As for Superman’s rise from the grave, it isn’t surprising, nor is it meant to be. The (theoretical) fun of it is seeing how it plays out. And on that point, it is fairly entertaining. When Supes comes to, his mind is a bit scrambled, causing him to indiscriminately attack whomever is in the path of his heat vision. Henry Cavill plays it like his body vomiting up the last remnants of Snyder’s inexplicably distasteful take on the Man of Steel. This concession to a lighter version is in fact indicative of the whole Justice League ethos. Finally, the DC Extended Universe is allowed to crack jokes! And I’m not talking glib, Marvel-style one-liners, but actual character moments, like malapropisms and other exposures of vulnerability. Ma Kent (Diane Lane), for one, informs Lois Lane (Amy Adams) that Clark said Lois was “the thirstiest young woman he ever met” (she means hungriest). It’s okay to laugh!

As for the actual story engine, the DCEU is still testing our patience. If this were a pilot episode of a Justice League TV show, it would be fine enough. A little long, but a decent setup. And if you’re in the business of silver linings, that is the best takeaway to come away with here. Future sequels are inevitable, and I can see a roadmap where they might actually be good. The best villains are being saved for later, but this time around the big bad is incredibly perfunctory. Steppenwolf (Ciarán Hinds under a lot of CG) is some sort of gargoyle whose motivation does not go anywhere beyond “try to take over the world.” His army of insect-men is just a nuisance in every capacity. It’s fair to save the best for later, but it helps to actually get to the best at some point.

Justice League is Recommended If You Like: Incremental Improvement

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Doomsday Clocks