Movie Review: For Better and Worse, ‘IT: Chapter Two’ Goes Full Stephen King

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CREDIT: Brooke Palmer/Warner Bros.

Starring: James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Jay Ryan, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård, Jaeden Martell, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Finn Wolfhard, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff

Director: Andy Muschietti

Running Time: 169 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Clown Chomps, A Few Stabbings, Nervous Vomiting, and Creepy Nudity

Release Date: September 6, 2019

IT: Chapter Two is solidly built upon a foundation of a melancholy truth about human existence. When we’re young, we may vow to keep what’s important to us as children just as important when we became adults. But somehow, some way, we all forget some of the things we once held dear, while also remaining stuck in some of the patterns we thought we would eventually grow out of. The Losers Club of Derry, Maine represent the epitome of this mercurial attachment to the past. And so it is that 27 years after their first series of misadventures, they must return to once again defeat the supernatural evil entity that terrorizes their hometown.

This melancholy setup is an apt formula for psychological agony mixing with real in-your-face terror, but the trouble with Chapter Two is that so many of the scares are so scattered from the overarching purpose. Winged insect-bird hybrids popping out of fortune cookies and an old naked lady who turns into a floppy-breasted gargoyle are plenty creepy in and of themselves, but these moments just keep piling onto one another as a series of random horror set pieces, and the effect is eventually exhausting. Even some of the moments that actually feature Pennywise (like a gay couple being beaten up by a mob only to then fall victim to the clown or a cute little girl bonding with Pennywise over facial deformity) are effective mini-movies unto themselves, but they could have easily been cut without losing the main thread involving the Losers. Their story of coming to grips with what won’t leave them alone is effective when the full-to-bursting script actually focuses on them. Ultimately, IT: Chapter Two is decidedly overambitious and overdramatic, but it is a fascinating mess, embracing Stephen King at his weirdest and most extra.

IT: Chapter Two is Recommended If You Like: The most unfiltered Stephen King adaptations

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Hidden Memories

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This Is a Movie Review: ‘Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween’ is Basically an Alternate Dimension’s First ‘Goosebumps’ Movie

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CREDIT: Daniel McFadden/Sony Pictures Entertainment

This post was originally published on News Cult in October 2018.

Starring: Madison Iseman, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Caleel Harris, Chris Parnell, Ken Jeong, Jack Black

Director: Ari Sandel

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Rating: PG for CGI Spooks, a Slightly Sociopathic Ventriloquist Dummy, and Carnivorous Candy

Release Date: October 12, 2018

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween employs the same sequel strategy as A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, wherein most of the of the original’s characters are elsewhere, but the new characters read about their story as they figure out what they need to do to defeat the same set of scares. This approach could make for a weirdly different follow-up, but in this case, Goosebumps 2 is basically an alternate version of the first Goosebumps. Once again, the monsters from R.L. Stine’s series of books have been unleashed into the real world, with Slappy the Dummy serving as the twisted ringleader. And also once again, a group of youngsters must chase them down and get them sucked back into their pages. That’s not all, as we all get the return of the concept that Stine must complete an unfinished story to subdue his monsters, but that thread doesn’t go very far because Jack Black, as Stine, has much less screen time than he did in the original. It ends up being one big joke that he does not show up soon enough to offer much of any help, while also giving the sense that there was an alternate screenplay that had some remnants show up in the final version.

Haunted Halloween actually does want to distinguish itself, what with it taking place on the titular holiday. The idea of the terrors of Halloween coming to life is a potent one, though it has been explored before in other, better flicks. Director Ari Sandel struggles to make any of his efforts stand out, because so much of the chaos is just a mess of CGI (though one sequence involving ravenous gummy bears is well-realized). And the plot is fairly cliché, with an older sibling annoyed by her dorky younger brother and his goofball friend, while the parents just don’t want to hear nothing about a talking doll. But Goosebumps 2 does have a few moments of delight, mostly thanks to the presence of total comedy pros like Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ken Jeong, and Chris Parnell. And, let’s face it: Slappy can be quite the edgy little stinker.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween is Recommended If You Like: Sequels That Ignore the Original But Not Completely

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Incantations

This Is a Movie Review: IT (2017)

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CREDIT: Warner Bros.

I am surprised that I haven’t come across more (or any) takes of IT that talk about how big a deal abuse is. Because as far as I can tell, that is what the whole thing is all about. Like, I’m pretty sure Pennywise is a metaphor for an entire town poisoned by a legacy of abuse. And that is what makes this movie scary. Every member of the Losers Club has a home life that ranges from sad to actively dangerous, and then when they go out into town, they are beset by shockingly violent bullies, who themselves are the victims of brutish parenting. It makes sense that Bill steps up as the leader, as the worst his dad does is refuse to confront his family’s loss head-on. The relative stability in that unit is allowed to be rocked by the death of younger brother Georgie because abuse has a long tail.

IT often presents its abuses and the responses to it with some combination of baroque and grotesque. Bev’s sexual advances from her father are met with their bathroom being filled with buckets of blood. Eddie’s mother, who fuels his hypochondria, is not just obese, she is so abnormally shaped that it looks like she has a bunch of balloons under her dress. The evil in IT is both morally and aesthetically ugly. In the town of Derry, it only makes sense that a force of pure evil would take the form of a smiling, dancing clown.

I give IT (2017) 400 Floats of 500 Too’s.