Best TV Performances of the 2010s

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CREDIT: YouTube Screenshots

The extra-special-bonus Best of the 2010s lists keep arriving all this week! Yesterday, it was the Best Film Performances, now we’re moving to the small screen with the top TV Performances. And while the screens were smaller, the roles were arguably bigger, at least in terms of running time.

Regarding eligibility: all Lead and Supporting (but not Guest) performances from any show that aired at least one full season between 2010 and 2019 was eligible. Actors who played multiple characters in the same show were considered one performance. Actors who played the same character across multiple shows were also considered one performance.

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Original Streaming Movie Catch-Up Christmas in April Edition: ‘Noelle’

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CREDIT: Disney/YouTube Screenshot

I very, very, very, very, very much enjoyed watching Noelle. I watched it for the first time in April of 2020, MONTHS after the most recent Christmas. Maybe part of my enjoyment had to do with the fact that it wasn’t the holiday season, and I didn’t feel enormous pressure to be as festive as possible. My enjoyment also certainly had to do with the charming Anna Kendrick being charming in the lead title role. If you don’t find her charming, then I don’t know what to tell ya. You know what else I enjoyed? The future prospect of making Noelle a Christmas tradition. I love traditions! Especially ones that make me happy.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten all that positivity out there, I want to mention the one big, BIG thing about this movie that made me go, “Da fuhhh?” Every character … in this movie … wants … for Christmas … an iPad! Even the ones who are pointedly not materialistic and primarily want something like more time with Dad or a new job for unemployed Mom, also make sure to request of Noelle, daughter of Santa, “nd an iPad.” It is no great stretch to say that an appropriate alternate title would be Everybody Loves iPad. Did Apple underwrite part of this production? That doesn’t sound very Disney of a Disney+ original movie. Corporate synergy – what are ya gonna do!

I give Noelle 5 Merry Christmases and an iPad in a Pad Tree.

Movie Review: For Better and Worse, ‘IT: Chapter Two’ Goes Full Stephen King

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CREDIT: Brooke Palmer/Warner Bros.

Starring: James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Jay Ryan, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, James Ransone, Andy Bean, Bill Skarsgård, Jaeden Martell, Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Finn Wolfhard, Chosen Jacobs, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff

Director: Andy Muschietti

Running Time: 169 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Clown Chomps, A Few Stabbings, Nervous Vomiting, and Creepy Nudity

Release Date: September 6, 2019

IT: Chapter Two is solidly built upon a foundation of a melancholy truth about human existence. When we’re young, we may vow to keep what’s important to us as children just as important when we became adults. But somehow, some way, we all forget some of the things we once held dear, while also remaining stuck in some of the patterns we thought we would eventually grow out of. The Losers Club of Derry, Maine represent the epitome of this mercurial attachment to the past. And so it is that 27 years after their first series of misadventures, they must return to once again defeat the supernatural evil entity that terrorizes their hometown.

This melancholy setup is an apt formula for psychological agony mixing with real in-your-face terror, but the trouble with Chapter Two is that so many of the scares are so scattered from the overarching purpose. Winged insect-bird hybrids popping out of fortune cookies and an old naked lady who turns into a floppy-breasted gargoyle are plenty creepy in and of themselves, but these moments just keep piling onto one another as a series of random horror set pieces, and the effect is eventually exhausting. Even some of the moments that actually feature Pennywise (like a gay couple being beaten up by a mob only to then fall victim to the clown or a cute little girl bonding with Pennywise over facial deformity) are effective mini-movies unto themselves, but they could have easily been cut without losing the main thread involving the Losers. Their story of coming to grips with what won’t leave them alone is effective when the full-to-bursting script actually focuses on them. Ultimately, IT: Chapter Two is decidedly overambitious and overdramatic, but it is a fascinating mess, embracing Stephen King at his weirdest and most extra.

IT: Chapter Two is Recommended If You Like: The most unfiltered Stephen King adaptations

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Hidden Memories

This Is a Movie Review: Ralph Breaks the Internet

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CREDIT: Disney

Ralph Breaks the Internet presents a remarkably satisfying and accurate (such as it is) cinematic version of the Internet (minus all the porn, of course). It’s filled to the brim with buzzy avatars representing pushy autofill, distracting suggested ads, and the like. There are also scores of little blue birds tweeting a bunch of nonsense (there should probably be even more of those). If the references look like they will be instantly dated, look again, and see that it is actually an ouroboros/phoenix of eternal present and unceasing nostalgia constantly eating itself and being reborn. The story zips along weightily with the technical dangers of a connected world grounded metaphorically in the emotional lives of Ralph and Vanellope. And the much-hyped inclusion of all the Disney Princesses is more significant than expected, with the ladies proving to be narratively essential as they also remain thematically true to themselves. All in all, as much as constant connectivity has transformed society (often for the worse), Ralph Breaks the Internet demonstrates that there is still room for friendship.

I give Ralph Breaks the Internet 23,000 Hearts out of 27272 Viruses.

SNL Review March 17, 2018: Bill Hader/Arcade Fire

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CREDIT: Kailey Fellows/NBC

My letter grades for each sketch and segment is below. My in-depth review is on NewsCult: http://newscult.com/snl-love-itkeep-itleave-bill-haderarcade-fire/

Anderson Cooper 360 – B-

Bill Hader’s Monologue – B

The Californians – C+

Kiss Me I’m Irish – C+

Older Husband – B

Jurassic Park Screen Tests – B-

Arcade Fire perform “Creature Comfort” – B+

Weekend Update
The Jokes – B
Betsy DeVos – B-
Pete Davidson – B-
Stefon – A-

Spirit Quest Lodge – C+

CBC News Hour – B-

Arcade Fire perform “Put Your Money on Me” – B+

Undercover Office Potty (BEST OF THE NIGHT) – A-

SNL Recap October 11, 2014: Bill Hader/Hozier

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SNL: Hozier, Bill Hader, Cecily Strong (CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot)

This review was originally posted on Starpulse in October 2014.

Recent alumni returning to host “SNL” has lately served as an excuse to fill the episode with cameos, with last season’s finale hosted by Andy Samberg serving as a particularly egregious example.  That tendency is not a good fit for a show with a large repertory cast including several rookies and sophomores fighting to make themselves known.  Luckily, this episode only featured two cameos, only one of whom was a former cast member, and neither of whom overwhelmed the show.  Hader did resurrect a few of his most memorable characters, but he did not get in the way of what the current cast is doing.  The bottom line is, it is pretty much impossible to have a bad episode hosted by Bill Hader.  He was in a lot of sketches while a cast member, because he could take on the lead and the utility roles just as easily.  Thus, putting him in the entire episode, as is the norm with the hosts, served to guarantee at least one good performance per sketch.  Let’s take a closer look at each segment of the show:

Kim Jong-Un – The running time of this sketch was about 3 minutes, a speed that is practically unheard of for “SNL” cold openings in 2014.  It harked back to a time when the first sketch could get in there with a familiar routine, make it point, and get right to the “Live from New York!”  But the weird thing about this sketch was that Bobby Moynihan’s Kim Jong-Un impression is not particularly popular, nor has North Korea really been dominating headlines.  This sketch did not really focus on being timely anyway, instead making bizarre observational points about the Korean leader, such as how he fancies himself the world’s greatest athlete and that his haircut resembles Brad Pitt in his current movie.  Ultimately, this was admirable for being stranger than most openings, but disappointing for being too slight to do something with that strangeness. B-

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