I Love Watching All Those Matrixes Get Resurrected!

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Jessica Henwick, Jonathan Groff, Neil Patrick Harris, Priyanka Chopra Jones, Jada Pinkett Smith, Christina Ricci, Chad Stahelski

Director: Lana Wachowski

Running Time: 148 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 22, 2021 (Theaters and HBO Max)

The Matrix Resurrections is perhaps the most self-referential movie ever made. That’s usually a major turnoff for audiences (give or take a Scream), but we’ve all been living in the Matrix ever since the first came out. I love that fact about our lives! So of course the scenes in Resurrections that I loved the most are the ones that most clearly echo the rest of the franchise and reckon with the creation of the movie that we’re watching right now. (Spaceballs, anyone?) I’m obviously talking about the scene where the video game team is pitching (and re-pitching) their sequel ideas. And I’m also talking about Neo and Trinity’s final encounter with The Analyst, what with it being firmly underscored by a theme of second chances. You might have to squint to see the connections in other scenes, but not that hard. Long live the Catrix!

Grade: A Million Miles in One Matrix

‘Frozen II’ Only Makes Sense If You’re From Arendelle

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CREDIT: Disney

In Frozen II, Elsa hears a mysterious voice calling out to her from the forest. There’s some gee-gaw mystical explanation by the end about what that’s all about, but its ultimate purpose seems to be making her realize that she ought to be living on her own out in the forest. It’s hard not to read queer subtext into that, if you’re at all open to the possibility that there could be queer subtext in an animated Disney movie. So that’s how that goes, and meanwhile, there’s plenty more going on elsewhere, as Elsa and Anna stumble across some soldiers who have been fighting each other for decades while also trying to understand the important messages their parents have left for them. Plus, Kristoff attempts to propose to Anna while she keeps misinterpreting him in maddeningly over-the-top fashion, Olaf keeps telling us that water remembers, when ALL OF A SUDDEN, I’m so overwhelmed that I’m now doing a Phil Donahue impression (or at least an impression of Darrell Hammond’s Donahue impression). Arendelle is a busy place. Sometimes it’s exhausting.

I give Frozen II One Million Voices out of a Million and a Half Water Memories.