‘Barbarian’ 4 LYFE

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So Barbaric (CREDIT: 20th Century Studios/Screenshot)

Starring: Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgård, Justin Long, Matthew Patrick Davis, Richard Brake

Director: Zach Cregger

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 9, 2022 (Theaters)

Right before seeing Barbarian, I got some fried ice cream for the first time at a place I’d been meaning to try for a while. And it was as delicious as I’d hoped for! So I took that as a wonderful portent that Barbarian would also be able to meet my sky-high expectations. So let me assure everyone quickly: it was a wonderful evening all around.

Barbarian is one of those movies where you don’t want to talk to folks who haven’t seen it in too much detail, because all the twisty surprises are so much fun to discover unspoiled. But unlike a lot of other movies of that ilk, there’s plenty to talk about without spoiling the monster. Like, I could mention that Justin Long is in it, and that he’s got a pretty significant part, despite not being in the trailer at all. And that spoils nothing! Well, it spoils Justin’s sudden, previously unannounced introduction. But that only amounts to about 1% spoilage. Anyway, how are there not more basement-based horror movies?

Grade: 476/500

Best Episode of the Season: Portlandia Season 5

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“The Fiancée”
An episode entirely focused around Nina and Lance was the best of Portlandia’s fifth season. If all you’ve seen of this show is the first season, and you did not cotton to Fred and Carrie’s voices for the “Cacao” couple, I know what you’re thinking: “No way, Jose.” But let me tell you this about “The Fiancée”: it features Justin Long as Lance’s mom’s new boyfriend, and he looks and sounds just like Lance (because Carrie always looked like Justin Long in her Lance drag). And it’s the best performance of his career.