Does ‘Transformers: Rise of the Beasts’ Rise to the Occasion?

June 8, 2023

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Beast Mode (CREDIT: Skydance/Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Anthony Ramos, Dominique Fishback, Luna Lauren Vélez, Tobe Nwigwe, Dean Scott Vazquez, Peter Cullen, Pete Davidson, Liza Koshy, Cristo Fernández, John DiMaggio, Ron Perlman, Michelle Yeoh, David Sobolov, Tongayi Chirisa, Peter Dinklage, Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, Colman Domingo

Director: Steven Caple Jr.

Running Time: 127 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Metal Injuries

Release Date: June 9, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Hey, remember the 90s? The makers of Transformers: Rise of the Beasts sure do, because they went ahead and set the latest adventure of these extraterrestrial morphing robots in the era of g-funk and baggy jorts. But besides the occasional Wu-Tang or LL Cool J needle drop, that setting is mostly besides the point, as Rise of the Beasts is primarily concerned about the quest for a MacGuffin. That would be the Transwarp Key, a device with the power to allow Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots to return to their home planet of Cybertron after years in exile on Earth. Of course, if it instead falls into the wrong hands, it means that their enemies could destroy even more worlds. In their efforts to secure it, they recruit some human allies in the form of struggling family man Noah (Anthony Ramos) and museum intern Elena (Dominique Fishback). When they touch down in Peru, things get especially hairy, as they meet up with the breed of animalistic Transformers known as the Maximals.

What Made an Impression?: I know I’m not the only one who abandoned the Michael Bay-directed Transformers at a certain point. And with that in mind, the highest compliment I can pay Rise of the Beasts is that it continues the trend that began a few years ago with Bumblebee in which these movies’ climaxes are no longer incomprehensible onslaughts of metal clanking against metal. You can actually tell who’s talking! Distinct personalities can be detected! And some of those personalities are decently entertaining! Director Steven Caple Jr. and his screenwriting team don’t reinvent the mold at all, but you could imagine this movie actually coming out in 1994, when clarity and an adventurous spirit were valued as a matter of course.

While I appreciate that the Rise of the Beasts crew focused on the fundamentals, they didn’t exactly inspire me to become a diehard Transformers devotee. I’m about ten years too young for their original heyday, but anyone who’s more steeped in the lore than I am will probably find plenty to appreciate. And it certainly helps that you’ve got dignified actors like Michelle Yeoh and Peter Dinklage bringing their voices to life. But I’m mostly focused on Pete Davidson’s lil-stinker performance as the hologram-projecting Mirage. It’s the sort of comic relief that on paper seems like it would be a step too far for the Transformers status quo, but instead it’s just the hit of mustard needed to make the whole course palatable.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is Recommended If You Like: Some Transformers, but not too many Transformers

Grade: 3 out of 5 Maximals

Doggone It, ‘Paws of Fury’ Insists That You Laugh at Its Self-Aware Samurai Animals

July 13, 2022

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Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies)

Starring: Michael Cera, Samuel L. Jackson, Ricky Gervais, Aasif Mandvi, Djimon Hounsou, Mel Brooks, Gabriel Iglesias, George Takei, Michelle Yeoh, Kylie Kuioka

Directors: Rob Minkoff, Mark Koetsier, Chris Bailey

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: PG for The Type of Shenanigans You’d Expect in a Place Named “Kakamucho”

Release Date: July 15, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: What if feudal Japan had been populated entirely by anthropomorphic cats? Do you think that dogs would be allowed to visit? Of course not, right! And those pooches certainly couldn’t be samurai in this scenario, now could they? But what Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank dares to ask is: what if they could? And that’s how eager beagle Hank (Michael Cera) finds himself under the tutelage of reclusive sensei Jimbo (Samuel L. Jackson) in the village of Kakamucho. But it’s all a setup! You see, Hank was given the assignment of village samurai by the sneaky Ika Chu (Ricky Gervais) as a ploy to lay waste to the land. But this is an animated Nickelodeon movie, so we can rest easy knowing that the doggo and the kindhearted kitties are going to rally together in the end.

What Made an Impression?: Paws of Fury delivers all the typical slapstick gags and generally silly vibes of your average talking animal movie. But it distinguishes itself with a thorough strain of meta humor, as characters assure us that the running time is long enough to fit in the big finale and the action of a major set piece spills out into a virtual theater. At first, I thought those gags were all just done to honor the presence of Mel Brooks, who voices Shogun, the leader of Kakamucho. But then when I saw the late Richard Pryor’s name listed in the “Story By” credits (alongside Brooks and a few others), I realized it ran deeper than that.

As it turns out, Paws of Fury has had quite the winding pre-production history. Loosely inspired by Brooks’ indelible 1974 western sendup Blazing Saddles, it was originally known as Blazing Samurai before it arrived in its more generic cats-versus-dog setup, though the fourth wall breaking still remains. That made this thirtysomething viewer perfectly happy, but I wondered if any of the kiddos were picking up on those riffs. It’s not like they needed to, as there are also plenty of scatological jokes and bright colors to keep them otherwise occupied. But hey, I first fell in love with Brooks and his ilk when I was in this movie’s target age group. So yeah, Paws of Fury isn’t exactly revolutionizing anything the way that Saddles did, but it might just point some budding comedy nerds in the right direction.

Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank is Recommended If You Like: Various shades of red and orange, Kid-friendly versions of sophisticated humor, George Takei shamelessly saying “Oh my” as often as possible

Grade: 3 out of 5 Blades

‘The Rise of Gru’ Lifts All Minions

June 29, 2022

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Minions: The Rise of Gru (CREDIT: Illumination Entertainment & Universal Pictures)

Starring: Pierre Coffin, Steve Carell, Taraji P. Henson, Alan Arkin, Michelle Yeoh, RZA, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lucy Lawless, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews

Director: Kyle Balda

Running Time: 88 Minutes

Rating: PG for Death-Defying Cartoon Action

Release Date: July 1, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: It’s 1976, and those tiny tater tots with a seemingly endless supply of denim are headed to the city by the bay! The Minions are already living with their “mini boss” Gru (Steve Carell), though he’s only 11 years old and thus not yet exactly the bigshot supervillain we met in the original Despicable Me. But he’s eager to prove himself, and he gets his chance when a spot opens up in the villainous collective the Vicious 6. He ends up running afoul of them and then gets kidnapped by Wild Knuckles (Alan Arkin, in a Little Miss Sunshine reunion) the Vicious member who was kicked out. But that’s all just an excuse for anarchic shenanigans! Because Kevin, Stuart, Bob, Otto, and the rest of the loyal yellow crew (all voiced by Pierre Coffin) are on their way to San Francisco to save Gru and get up to plenty of nutty business along the way.

What Made an Impression?: I’m an unabashed fan of the Despicable Me franchise, especially the Minions, so rest assured that what I’m about to say should not be taken lightly: This just might be the best entry in the entire franchise. What we have is the platonic ideal of what this type of cartoon should be, i.e., boundlessly joyous chaos. The first Minions spinoff had the weight of an origin story to take care of before it could just get to the gags. You might think that this outing is now an origin story for Gru, as it is called The Rise of Gru after all. And it is that, certainly, but it’s all in service of the Minions being the fullest, most delightful versions of themselves.

What does that mean, exactly, you might be wondering? Well, primarily it means they get to speak their motor-mouthed brand of unique gibberish, which has me automatically cackling whenever Gru or anyone else can somehow understand what they’re saying. It also means that they hijack a commercial plane with no repercussions in the most hilariously madcap manner imaginable! They learn kung fu and in the process discover that they’re basically indestructible! A few of them are transformed into animals, which somehow leads to the birthing of a baby Minion chicken! And they cap it all off with an unforgettably beautiful Minion-ish rendition of the Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” Which is ironic, because this movie gave me just about everything I wanted.

I also must mention that one Minion adorably falls in love with a pet rock! Remember pet rocks? They were big in the 70s. Speaking of the 70s, this movie has a killer soundtrack featuring modern artists making their own renditions of the era’s disco, funk, and rock classics. St. Vincent heading to “Funkytown,” anyone? Heck, yeah!

I did have one concern, though, that I feel compelled to bring up: where was Gru’s twin brother Dru? Shouldn’t he have been present during this period of their life? Maybe that was all explained in Despicable Me 3 (I do recall Dru being a sibling of the “long-lost” variety and all), and I just need to rewatch that. It’s not a big deal, just something that popped into my head amidst all the mayhem.

Minions: The Rise of Gru is Recommended If You Like: Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote, Secret sibling languages, Non-stop disco dance parties

Grade: 4 out of 5 Bananas

‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’: Accurate

March 31, 2022

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Everything Everywhere All at Once (CREDIT: Allyson Riggs/A24)

Starring: Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, Stephanie Hsu, James Hong, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jenny Slate, Harry Shum Jr.

Directors: Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert

Running Time: 139 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: March 25, 2022 (Theaters)

Everything Everywhere All at Once captures how I feel all the time. I’m not always an outwardly emotional person, but inside I’m perpetually cooking in much the same way that the multiverse is constantly bumping up against itself in the Daniels’ vision. (Damn, Daniels.) Basically, so many of my daily thoughts are something along the lines of, “What do I have to do to make my life a recreation/mashup of The Matrix, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Rick and Morty, In the Mood for Love, 2001, Kill Bill, Ratatouille, and that SNL sketch about googly eyes with Christopher Walken?” And now some folks actually went ahead and did it!

Grade: Everything out of Everything!

Shang-Chi and Legend of the Review of ‘Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings’

September 8, 2021

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Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (CREDIT: Marvel Entertainment/Screenshot)

Starring: Simu Liu, Awkwafina, Meng’er Zhang, Tony Leung, Michelle Yeoh, Fala Chen, Ben Kingsley, Florian Munteanu, Benedict Wong

Director: Destin Daniel Cretton

Running Time: 132 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: September 3, 2021 (Theaters)

Most Marvel Cinematic Universe movies have me feeling some variation of “That was okay, I guess I enjoyed that.” But with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, it was a little different. I saw it with my dad, who asked me multiple times how familiar I was with the character, which made me realize that I don’t think I’ve ever read a single comic book issue that featured Shang-Chi in any capacity. That freshness didn’t necessarily translate into meaning that Legend of the Ten Rings was any better than other recent MCU movies; rather, it just felt like less of a chore. And in fact, despite the presence of MCU vets like Benedict Wong and Ben Kingsley, it reminded me more of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon than anything Marvel-certified. Although I should note that I’ve never actually seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But it did have such a huge impact on the culture that it kinda feels like I at least absorbed it. Will Shang-Chi have a similarly huge cultural impact? Probably not, but at least everyone appeared to be having a good time.

Grade: 7 Souls out of 10 Soul-Stealing Dragons

All the Extra-Sweet Holiday Decorations Can’t Disguise the Fact That ‘Last Christmas’ is Really About Doing the Work to Take Care of Ourselves

November 6, 2019

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CREDIT: Jonathan Prime/Universal Pictures

Starring: Emilia Clarke, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Emma Thompson, Lydia Leonard, Boris Isakovic, Peter Mygind

Director: Paul Feig

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Young Adults Getting Themselves Into Hot Mess Situations

Release Date: November 8, 2019

If you’re the type who likes to speculate before going to see a movie, then you may have surmised that a twist is afoot in Last Christmas. And it’s probably pretty close to (if not exactly) the twist you think it is, especially if you’ve noticed that in the trailer, nobody interacts with Henry Golding’s Tom besides Emilia Clarke’s Kate and if you’ve remembered the lyrics to the Wham! song that serves as this film’s namesake and inspired the plot. It’s not as if Emma Thompson and Bryony Kimmings’ script or Paul Feig’s direction is trying too hard to hide the reveal, as early scenes feature Tom using goofy evasive maneuvers (that nobody but Kate seems to notice) to avoid bumping into passing pedestrians. The success of Last Christmas does not hinge on the twist, thankfully, though I do wonder what it would have been like if it had showed its more hand earlier. The choice to keep things under wraps does make sense considering the story’s perspective, at least, and either way, the message about finding the inner strength to re-discover our best selves shines through.

The other big hook of Last Christmas is that Kate is in long-term recovery mode following a health scare a year earlier that necessitated a heart transplant. Physically, she seems to be doing just fine now, but mentally it’s another story. She appears to be suffering from undiagnosed depression, which is leading to a pattern of poor decisions: hooking up with a series of one-night stands, causing general destruction while couch surfing at her friends’ apartments, neglecting to lock up for the night while leaving work. Her current inability to fulfill the personality requirements of her job as a department store elf (under the employ of a shop owner who calls herself “Santa,” no less) could not be starker. Meanwhile, she’s also got plenty of stress emanating from her family, thanks to an overbearing mother (Thompson) who won’t stop calling her, a sister (Lydia Leonard) keeping her sexuality a secret from their parents, a father (Boris Isakovic) who systematically avoids conflict, and the long-term trauma of having grown up in the war-torn former Yugoslavia.

Thus, with everything so heavy in Kate’s life, I didn’t bat an eye at Tom’s saintly perfection, as this was exactly what she needed, and while skepticism can be healthy, it’s foolish to complain about something definitively good. He may suddenly show up without warning, but he knows exactly what to say to get Kate feeling like herself again. On top of that, he somehow manages to get by in this modern digitized world without carrying his phone around all the time and he (what else?) volunteers at a homeless shelter. His only shortcoming is that he has a habit of disappearing for days on end, only returning by some unpredictable whim. When he’s present, he provides the sort of emotional support that is essential for Kate right now and that we all require to get by as human beings. When he’s gone, it’s a test for her to learn that maybe she has that support within herself to get by on her own.

Last Christmas ends with Kate,, the full picture of health and 100% in the Christmas mood, putting on a little show in support of the homeless shelter. All her loved ones new and old are there to support her, and if that sounds a little too perfect, well, it probably is. We have at least seen Kate get to this point of fulfillment, so her triumph isn’t frustrating. But we haven’t quite spent the same time with her family to know that they’ve also been able to work through all their burdens. Maybe, though, we can assume that they too have had their own mysterious visitors who have helped them along, and then we can go on and sing some happy carols.

Last Christmas is Recommended If You Like: George Michael music, Some sort of combination of Love Actually, Fleabag, and BoJack Horseman

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Comical Eastern European Accents

This Is a Movie Review: Be Wary of the Spectacle of ‘Crazy Rich Asians,’ Stay for the Characters

August 14, 2018

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and RatPac-Dune Entertainment LLC

This review was originally posted on News Cult in August 2018.

Starring: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Awkwafina, Gemma Chan, Lisa Lu, Tan Kheng Hua, Chris Pang, Sonoya Mizuno, Pierre Png, Nico Santos, Jimmy O. Yang, Ken Jeong

Director: Jon M. Chu

Running Time: 121 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Some Excessive Partying and a Nasty Message Written in Blood

Release Date: August 15, 2018

Ever since I have noticed the buzz building for Crazy Rich Asians, the title has had me worried that I wouldn’t able to relate. I’m not talking about the “Asian” part (and I’m certainly not talking about the “crazy” part). No, what I’m talking about is that four-letter word right in the middle. Sure, it would be nice to have enough money to pay off all my debts, but amassing a fortune into the billions feels plainly excessive. And Jon M. Chu’s adaptation of Kevin Kwan’s novel does nothing to dissuade me from that notion. When we enter the film’s first Singaporean mansion, I am immediately overwhelmed by the real estate per person. And then we learn that this dwelling is actually modest by this country’s standards, and I guess I’ll have to say the Serenity Prayer a few more times. But the good news is that Crazy Rich Asians wants us to be skeptical of insane wealth to an extent.

The biggest takeaway to be had from this big-hearted rom-com is the danger of making assumptions, a problem that can befall anyone, no matter their net worth. Chinese-American economics professor Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) assumes that her boyfriend Nick Young (Henry Golding) is a man of modest means. That is hardly the most damaging assumption, but it does mean that she is in for plenty of surprises when he flies her into Singapore for his best friend’s wedding and she learns that he is in fact a member of one of the country’s wealthiest families. Far more consequential are the assumptions made about Rachel, especially from Nick’s domineering but also impressive (and frankly, occasionally likeable) mother Eleanor (Michelle Yeoh). She objects to Rachel as a potential daughter-in-law, not because she is an outsider, but because of what type of outsider she is, assuming that as an American, personal fulfillment is more important to her than building a family. Accordingly, the requisite final act misunderstanding is not some phony moment between Rachel and Nick, who are far too honest with each other to not be able to work things out. Instead, it is a background check that drives a wedge of emotional manipulation that can only be cured by selflessness on all sides.

Ultimately, Crazy Rich Asians does not win me over to the lavish lifestyle, but it does successfully convey the traditions that lead to creating a familial empire. Judging by the reactions of the largely Asian crowd at the screening I attended, this is an accurate and resonant portrayal. There was plenty of whooping and laughing that indicated intimate recognition of a pan-Asian exchange of culture, the immigrant experience, and (presumably) key moments from the book. We may not need a billion dollars to be happy, but I now see the potential value in learning how to play mahjong or attending a wedding in which the aisle is flooded with water.

Crazy Rich Asians is Recommended If You Like: Rom-Coms with an unapologetic cultural flavor

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Jade Rings