In ‘The Beekeeper,’ Jason Statham Takes His Grievances Straight to the Top of the Hive

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Honey, Honey (CREDIT: Daniel Smith/© 2024 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved)

Starring: Jason Statham, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Josh Hutcherson, Bobby Naderi, Jeremy Irons, Minnie Driver, Phylicia Rashad

Director: David Ayer

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Excessively Excessive Violence

Release Date: January 12, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: After his neighbor Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad) is scammed out of millions of dollars in a phishing scheme, a mysterious man known as Adam Clay (Jason Statham) takes it upon himself to wipe out the entire organization preying upon these vulnerable seniors.  Meanwhile, Eloise’s FBI agent daughter Verona (Emmy Raver-Lampman) starts investigating both Clay and the people who swindled her mother. It soon becomes clear that everyone is in for a lot more than they bargained for. The scamming operation is run by a tech bro master of the universe jerkoff (Josh Hutcherson) who is connected to some very powerful people, while Mr. Clay is the product of an organization known as “Beekeepers,” who were engineered to root out problems just like this one. But he’s gone rogue, and that does not bode well for anyone standing in his way.

What Made an Impression?: Hooking Our Sympathies: Who among us in 21st Century Planet Earth hasn’t been victimized by intrusive pop-up viruses or pushy call centers? Even if you’ve managed to escape without losing any cash or computer data, you know how much of a nuisance they are. So it’s not hard to understand Clay’s instinct to incinerate where it’s all happening. That has to be one of the most popular revenge fantasies nowadays. So it’s a bit of a shock that that destruction is merely the first blow in the War of Clay vs. The Scammers, instead of the final battle. Where does The Beekeeper go from there to keep the melee coming?
A Study in Extremes: As it turns out, the answer to that question is: turn Jason Statham into a one-man wrecking crew. That’s not exactly a new innovation, but director David Ayer takes the concept to grotesque extremes that I don’t think we’ve ever quite seen before. Where one punch to the head is enough to dispatch a foe, at least three more punches are added. And where the amputation of fingers is presumably enough to teach someone a lesson, he’s instead tied to a car and dragged into the bottom of a river. I suppose the idea being explored here is the consequence of creating super-soldiers, but the mysterious nature of the Beekeepers precludes the script from fully exploring that possibility. Either way, it’s not particularly pleasant to watch Mr. Clay execute his mayhem.
Ironing Out the Details: While I’m often put off by the sour worldview in David Ayer’s films, at least he’s able to attract top-notch talent in front of the camera. Statham can play this type of character in his sleep, and he’s not really being asked to elevate it higher than its B-movie trappings. But in the supporting roles, there is often room to deliver some gravitas, and who better to deliver than Jeremy Irons? With his pristinely pressed suits, he serves as a corporate executive tasked with making sure the operation runs smoothly. That description could also accurately describe the entirety of Irons’ acting career. If we must descend into a grotesque bloodbath, at least let the professionals chaperone us.

The Beekeeper is Recommended If You Like: January pulp, Classically trained actors in lowbrow flicks, Slamming appliances out of frustration

Grade: 2 out of 5 Hives

Weekend Catchup: ‘Chevalier’ and ‘Renfield’

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Chevali-Hey! (CREDIT: Larry Horricks/Searchlight Pictures)

Chevalier:

Starring: Kelvin Harrison Jr., Samara Weaving, Lucy Boynton, Marton Csokas, Alex Fitzalan, Minnie Driver

Director: Stephen Williams

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: April 21, 2023 (Theaters)

Renfield:

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Nicolas Cage, Awkwafina, Ben Schwartz, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Brandon Scott Jones, Adrian Martinez, Camille Chen

Director: Chris McKay

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: April 14, 2023 (Theaters)

I’ve been noticing something lately: there are a lot of new movies at the multiplex! We might even be back to a pre-pandemic output volume. How else to explain me spending the same weekend catching the likes of both Chevalier and Renfield?

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Modern Jukebox Musical Update of ‘Cinderella’ is Here to Sweep You Off Your Feet

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Cinderella (2021) (CREDIT: Kerry Brown/Amazon)

Starring: Camila Cabello, Nicholas Galitzine, Idina Menzel, Pierce Brosnan, Minnie Driver, Tallulah Greive, Billy Porter, Maddie Baillio, Charlotte Spencer

Director: Kay Cannon

Running Time: 113 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Slightly Off-Color Dialogue

Release Date: September 3, 2021 (Amazon Prime Video and Limited Theaters)

How can it ever be allowed that movies don’t first open in the theater? Look, I know we’re in a precarious situation right now in which theatrical releases don’t always look like a safe or financially viable option, but there are certain flicks that just demand to be seen on the big screen. Personally, I believe that’s true of all films, but it’s especially in the case of this jukebox musical version of Cinderella, written and directed by Pitch Perfect vet Kay Cannon. This is exactly the sort of movie that should have people getting up and singing and dancing in the aisles! Sure, you can also do that in your living room, but we know that’s not the same as losing yourself in a dark room full of strangers. This is a piece of art that begins with a mashup of Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” and Des’ree’s “You Gotta Be,” and I’m sorry, but if that’s the message you’re delivering, then you can’t keep me confined to non-theatrical viewing options.

So here’s the journey that Cinderella 2021 took to finally arrive in front of our eyeballs: in pre-pandemic days, Sony scheduled it for a February 2019 theatrical release, but then in May 2021, they cut a deal with Amazon to have it go straight to Prime Video. May of this year! A time when things looked promising! Anyway, I suppose that Cinderella can still be enjoyed at home. I enjoyed it that way, after all! Just gather around the kids and a bunch of your friends and maybe make a party out of it. It’s the rare modern retelling of a classic story that’s neither too surface-level nor too overly specific. The setting is still “Generic Medieval English Village,” but the dialogue is a close-enough facsimile to the 21st century to have enough upside.

The message boils down to the fairly straightforward “Maybe we don’t have to fulfill the roles that society has prescribed to us,” but the details are well-considered. Camila Cabello is the plucky Ella (the “Cinder” nickname comes from her stepsisters associating her with cinder blocks), who doesn’t just want to wear pretty dresses and marry a prince – she wants to run her own dressmaking business and marry that prince only if he’ll support her career aspirations. And she’s not the only character who’s granted a thoughtful reconsideration. Her stepmother Vivian (Idina Menzel) isn’t cruel because she’s evil, but rather because her own dashed dreams have driven her towards cynicism.

We also get to know more about Prince Robert (Nicholas Galitzine) and his family: the King who’s boxed in by tradition (Pierce Brosnan), the Queen who’s wondering where the passion in her marriage went (Minnie Driver), and the Princess who just wants to be taken seriously (Tallulah Grieve). And of course we can’t forget Fab G, the fairy godparent brought to typically fabulous life by Billy Porter. If anybody can be anything, why wouldn’t that character be played by one of the most effervescent entertainers alive today? Similarly, whenever Cinderella 2021 operates by the logic of “If a new Cinderella can be whatever we want, then let’s do whatever we want,” it just transports you away.

Cinderella 2021 is Recommended If You Like: Galavant, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Billy Porter Realness, The delightful TBS sitcom Miracle Workers

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dresses