Spring Cleaning 2024 Movie Review Round-Up

June 12, 2024

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CREDIT: Amazon Prime Video

There are a handful of movies I saw in May that I haven’t shared any extended thoughts about yet, so here’s a Spring Cleaning-themed review roundup. Typically May is considered part of the summer movie season, but that leaves short shrift to the time of year when it actually is spring. If May 1-Labor Day is Summer Movie Season, and October-December is Fall Movie Season, and Thanksgiving-New Year’s is Holiday Movie Season, and January-February is Awards Holdovers/Winter Dumping Ground Season, well then, we really only March and April for Spring Movie Season, and a good chunk of March is spent fretting about the Oscars! So let’s give some love to the month with the best weather of the year (apologies to those of you with vernal allergies) and check in on the May spring movies.

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‘Bottoms’ is a Queer, Bloody, and Fantastical Journey Through High School

August 24, 2023

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Bottoms on top? (CREDIT: ORION Pictures)

Starring: Rachel Sennott, Ayo Edebiri, Havana Rose Liu, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Galitzine, Dagmara Domińczyk, Marshawn Lynch, Ruby Cruz

Director: Emma Seligman

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for A Fair Bit of Sexuality and Some Absurd Violence

Release Date: August 25, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: There’s no way around it: PJ (Rachel Sennott) and Josie (Ayo Edebiri) are the outcasts of all outcasts at Huntington High School. You might call them bottoms even. (The title of their movie certainly does.) They’re both gay, but that’s not the problem. Their classmates are pretty enlightened when it comes to sexual orientation, but they’re a little less so when it comes to people who are untalented and don’t care much about football. So PJ and Josie try to reverse their fortunes by starting a fight club/self-defense class/feminine support group as a front to hook up with the hottest girls in school. Will their secret be found out? Or will everyone else be more focused on the looming big game with the rival school?

What Made an Impression?: The Point is Beside the Point: The queerness that’s central to Bottoms‘ premise is always front and center, but it’s not the most fundamental aspect. At its core, this is a story about acceptance. Josie and PJ could just as easily be scheming on a plot to land some platonic friends, and you would hardly have to change any aspect of the script to make that happen. That’s a win for both representation and storytelling. This is a movie that is perfectly comfortable being matter-of-fact and upfront about its identity and then simply moving on to the rest of the good stuff.
Queer in Other Ways: Of course, there’s another definition of “queer” besides the LGBTQ+ sense. It’s a synonym for “weird” and “bizarre,” or even “outlandish.” And let’s be clear: Bottoms is strange-queer even more than it is gay-queer. If you get a bunch of funny people together, of course things are going to be off-kilter. But if you were expecting a somewhat realistic depiction of the high school experience, then you need to reset your expectations ASAP. This is a romp that is campy, gratuitous, and absurd aplenty. Every character feels like a facsimile of a human being, rather than an actual person, and the rules of life are accordingly askew.
Seriously, I Don’t Know What the Hell I Just Watched: I’m hesitant to recommend Bottoms with my full soul, because while I admire its bravado, I could never quite figure out its base reality. Random and outlandish behavior is the status quo, so I found myself thinking “OMG WTF” much more often than I was cracking up. That’s a better state of mind than nothing at all, but not as pleasurable as possible. If you want to get kooky, Bottoms has plenty of kooky. And maybe it’s just best not to ask why.

Bottoms is Recommended If You Like: Heathers, Assassination Nation, MacGruber, Cocaine Bear, The fight scenes from Anchorman and Anchorman 2

Grade: 3 out of 5 Golden Ferrets

‘Red, White & Royal Blue’: Straightforward Queer Love Story, or Something Kookier?

August 10, 2023

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A couple of party dudes (CREDIT: Jonathan Prime/Prime Video)

Starring: Taylor Zakhar Perez, Nicholas Galitzine, Uma Thurman, Clifton Collins Jr., Sarah Shahi, Rachel Hilson, Ellie Bamber, Thomas Flynn, Malcolm Atobrah, Akshay Khanna, Sharon D. Clarke, Aneesh Sheth, Juan Castano, Stephen Fry

Director: Matthew López

Running Time: 118 Minutes

Rating: R for Explicit and Tender Sexuality

Release Date: August 11, 2023 (Prime Video)

What’s It About?: Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez) is the son of the first female President of the United States (Uma Thurman). Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine) is one of the grandsons in the British royal line of succession. (Although, just like a certain real-life prince, he’s a spare, not an heir). They’re forced to interact with each other at various diplomatic functions, but they hate each other’s guts. Do I need to make it any more obvious?

In case I do, it’s a modern-day queer Pride and Prejudice. Or at least that’s the first third of Red, White & Royal Blue. Alex and Henry are actually able to get past their shallow first impressions relatively quickly, and once they accept each other, the bigger question is whether or not everybody else can. The world that we see in the movie generally reflects the most progressive modern attitudes towards queer love stories, but there are a few snags. For one thing, there are worries that Alex’s dalliances could derail his mom’s re-election campaign. And more pressingly, there’s the question of whether or not there’s even a place for a gay prince in the royal family.

What Made an Impression?: Searching for Personality: It’s nice to see a globally released queer rom-com that doesn’t shy away from the most explicit parts. But it would have been even nicer if it didn’t feel so generic. Perez and Galitzine are charming enough, and their chemistry is serviceable, but the paint-by-numbers setting isn’t doing them any favors. A political backdrop certainly doesn’t need to perfectly recreate the real world, but it ought to at least be interesting if it’s going to be so integral to the story. Alas, we never really get a sense of what it’s like to have an America with a female president beyond mere platitudes. There’s at least some more urgency on the other side of the pond, as the presence of a gay prince is something that the crown hasn’t fully grappled with, and the juice of that drama is squeezed enough to feel the tension.
Strange Bursts of Personality: Thankfully, Red, White & Royal Blue isn’t entirely a slog through the most generic story beats possible. It has some sparks of coming to life, particularly a New Year’s Eve party soundtracked by perhaps the dirtiest mainstream hip-hop song of all time. Then when Alex opens up with his parents about what’s really going on, they have conversations that can best be described as “shockingly open-minded.” Thurman and Clifton Collins Jr. (as Alex’s senator dad) absolutely relish these opportunities to wax poetic about the likes of Truvada and gender-neutral bathrooms. I just wish the rest of the movie had been this inspired to let its freak flag fly. It’s what Alex and Henry (and those of watching) deserved.

Red, White & Royal Blue is Recommended If You: Can Handle a Watered-Down Version of Reality

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Giant Wedding Cakes

Modern Jukebox Musical Update of ‘Cinderella’ is Here to Sweep You Off Your Feet

September 1, 2021

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Cinderella (2021) (CREDIT: Kerry Brown/Amazon)

Starring: Camila Cabello, Nicholas Galitzine, Idina Menzel, Pierce Brosnan, Minnie Driver, Tallulah Greive, Billy Porter, Maddie Baillio, Charlotte Spencer

Director: Kay Cannon

Running Time: 113 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Slightly Off-Color Dialogue

Release Date: September 3, 2021 (Amazon Prime Video and Limited Theaters)

How can it ever be allowed that movies don’t first open in the theater? Look, I know we’re in a precarious situation right now in which theatrical releases don’t always look like a safe or financially viable option, but there are certain flicks that just demand to be seen on the big screen. Personally, I believe that’s true of all films, but it’s especially in the case of this jukebox musical version of Cinderella, written and directed by Pitch Perfect vet Kay Cannon. This is exactly the sort of movie that should have people getting up and singing and dancing in the aisles! Sure, you can also do that in your living room, but we know that’s not the same as losing yourself in a dark room full of strangers. This is a piece of art that begins with a mashup of Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” and Des’ree’s “You Gotta Be,” and I’m sorry, but if that’s the message you’re delivering, then you can’t keep me confined to non-theatrical viewing options.

So here’s the journey that Cinderella 2021 took to finally arrive in front of our eyeballs: in pre-pandemic days, Sony scheduled it for a February 2019 theatrical release, but then in May 2021, they cut a deal with Amazon to have it go straight to Prime Video. May of this year! A time when things looked promising! Anyway, I suppose that Cinderella can still be enjoyed at home. I enjoyed it that way, after all! Just gather around the kids and a bunch of your friends and maybe make a party out of it. It’s the rare modern retelling of a classic story that’s neither too surface-level nor too overly specific. The setting is still “Generic Medieval English Village,” but the dialogue is a close-enough facsimile to the 21st century to have enough upside.

The message boils down to the fairly straightforward “Maybe we don’t have to fulfill the roles that society has prescribed to us,” but the details are well-considered. Camila Cabello is the plucky Ella (the “Cinder” nickname comes from her stepsisters associating her with cinder blocks), who doesn’t just want to wear pretty dresses and marry a prince – she wants to run her own dressmaking business and marry that prince only if he’ll support her career aspirations. And she’s not the only character who’s granted a thoughtful reconsideration. Her stepmother Vivian (Idina Menzel) isn’t cruel because she’s evil, but rather because her own dashed dreams have driven her towards cynicism.

We also get to know more about Prince Robert (Nicholas Galitzine) and his family: the King who’s boxed in by tradition (Pierce Brosnan), the Queen who’s wondering where the passion in her marriage went (Minnie Driver), and the Princess who just wants to be taken seriously (Tallulah Grieve). And of course we can’t forget Fab G, the fairy godparent brought to typically fabulous life by Billy Porter. If anybody can be anything, why wouldn’t that character be played by one of the most effervescent entertainers alive today? Similarly, whenever Cinderella 2021 operates by the logic of “If a new Cinderella can be whatever we want, then let’s do whatever we want,” it just transports you away.

Cinderella 2021 is Recommended If You Like: Galavant, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Billy Porter Realness, The delightful TBS sitcom Miracle Workers

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dresses